A/N: A big thank you to Yasnah and Lauren Campbell for the reviews – it really is appreciated!

Thanks again to my fabulous Beta's - infernas81 and inuverse. You guys make me a better writer!

I hope you enjoy the latest instalment. Please R&R.

Chapter 5

I don't know how long I was sat in the corner of my room crying, but it seemed like an eternity that I sat there alone with my thoughts, replaying our argument over and over. I understood where Rhys was coming from, but I wanted him to see it from my point of view too. I could hear Elain and Cassian talking quietly in the main room and a couple of times I saw a shadow of one of them pass below the door, but they left me alone.

At some point I could sense different shadows moving around in my room and I knew Azriel must be outside. As exhausted as I was from all the arguing and crying I could feel my anger growing yet again.

"AZRIEL! Get your fucking shadows out of my room!" I shouted, casting my own dark magic out.

The voices in the next room – there seemed to be more voices now – abruptly stopped as I felt his shadows leave. Then I heard footsteps coming closer to my door before the handle turned and the door swung open to reveal Nesta, Amren, Mor and Elain. Azriel was trying his best to hide away in his shadows as I glared at him.

Amren chuckled at me. "You've got a temper on you girl!"

"That's an understatement Amren," Mor stated with her usual perkiness. She then looked at me, I gave a small nod, so the four of them came in. Elain pushed past the others and came to my side whilst the others stood staring at me.

"I take it your healing magic is still unreliable," Amren said.

I levelled a stare at Amren, not deigning to give her an answer to her obvious statement. Nesta was stood stiffly next to her, her hands clenched in tight fists. Her anger filled the room.

"Where. Is. He?" she managed to get out.

"Nesta - " I began.

"Don't stop me Feyre."

"Don't…" I tried again.

"You won't stop me, this has been a long time coming," she said, turning around and storming from the room.

"Nesta!" I called, attempting to stop her, but she just kept going.

"I'll go," Azriel offered from the other room, then darted out before I could stop him.

I leaned my head back against the wall, a hopelessness falling over me. "I'm no good at all of this!"

"Self-pity won't help you Feyre," Amren stated matter-of-factly.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Amren is right," Mor agreed. "We all know you're here trying to work with Tamlin."

"You don't, or at least Rhys doesn't…" I let my sentence trail off, I couldn't bear to finish it. I started sobbing again.

"What do you mean? Of course, Rhys knows why you're here," Mor responded.

I was crying too hard to answer her. I felt Mor's attention narrow on Elain.

"What happened?" she asked her.

"I don't like getting involved, but….it did seem like he suggested that there might be something going on between Feyre and Tamlin. There obviously isn't." Elain added.

Mor looked shocked and Amren stood straight from where she had been slouching against the door frame.

"He's territorial - " Mor started before getting cut off by Amren.

"He's bloody stupid," Amren interrupted. "Anyone can see she only wants him. I think I'm going to have a chat with our esteemed High Lord." She strode from my bedroom into the main room.

I looked over at Mor. I felt like I was being eaten alive inside with all my doubts, worries and uncertainties. I needed to talk, and Mor and Elain would be the perfect people. "Mor, Elain, what am I doing wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Mor asked.

"I mean, I just feel like I can't do anything right. I'm trying but….it feels like it's all too much. I thought I was doing the right thing coming to Spring with Elain, but the rest of you think it's a bad idea. I just don't know how to be a High Lady; how to make all these decisions."

Elain frowned, "have you told Rhys any of this?"

"No, and I've kept it locked down deep, so he can't see it in my mind."

"I really think you should say something."

"He's got too much to worry about as it is."

"You really think he wouldn't want to be bothered by you? He's your mate, nothing is more important to him." Mor stated.

"Please Mor, I just need a friend right now; one I can trust."

Mor sighed. "This goes against my better judgement, but fine. I'll keep your secrets, but only if you fully confide in me and I can tell Rhys or one of the others if I feel it's too much for you. Deal? Elain, you in?"

"I'll agree to that." She nodded.

I smiled wearily at them, "deal."

I held my hand out and they both shook it. Mor and I said "shit!" at the same time as we realised our mistake; we'd made a proper Night Court deal, and the evidence was now inked in a band around our left wrists. As well as the loops that resembled the tattoo on my right hand, the bands on our wrists also had flowers. I now had 3 bands around my right wrist; the first my deal with Bryaxis, the second my deal with Rhys (that we'd die together) and now the flowery one.

"Well, that's obvious," Mor muttered, examining our wrists.

"What are we going to tell the others?" Elain asked, still looking at her wrist.

Mor thought for a moment. "Hmmmm, we could kind of say the truth and say that we've bound ourselves to Feyre. Or….we could say that you decided to order your Court differently to Rhys and made me your Second, and Elain your Third, rather than Amren then me!" She had a wicked glint in her eye as she said the last bit. I knew that she was joking; none of us were stupid enough to cross Amren.

"You want to tell Amren that, be my guest!" I teased.

"What? No chance!" Mor was still examining the band. "Why flowers? Is that your fault Elain?"

"Mine?" Elain squeaked.

"You're the one who likes flowers," Mor stated, "and because of that I now have to walk around with them inked on me." Mor looked at me with her all-knowing stare, "Now then Feyre, you need to fulfil your part and tell us everything that's bothering you."

"I'm not sure where to start, but there's so much…."

Elain put her hand on my arm, "start at the beginning," she suggested. Once again, I could feel Elain's calming influence.

"I don't think I'm good at the High Lady stuff; I feel like all my decisions are wrong. I don't know how to rule people. I feel like I'm an awful mate as I'm keeping these doubts secret from Rhys, and I know he'd be hurt that I haven't told him. I don't feel like I'm cut out to be a mum. I'm having strange dreams. My magic doesn't work properly. There's just so much."

"Woah, you're going to send yourself mad if you're not careful!" Mor chided me. "There is a reason that High Lords – and High Ladies now – have courtiers. Their job – our job – is to ease the burden. It took Rhys many years to delegate tasks to us, you don't have that luxury; you need to start delegating quickly, as soon you're going to have your hands full and won't have time for High Lady duties for a while. You're going to be a great mum, and you've got loads of Auntie's and Uncle's ready for babysitting duty. The main thing is talking. You need to talk to us, you need to talk to Rhys. We're here for you. Always remember that."

I found myself comforted by her words. Of course, I knew that the Inner Circle – my family – were there for me, but it was nice to hear it spoken out loud.

Mor knelt down next to me on the opposite side to Elain. "Come on Feyre, let's get you off the floor and cleaned up."

I nodded my head, so they both took and arm and helped me to my feet and into the bathing room. Whilst I was washing my face – being careful of the pretty extensive cuts and bruises – they were telling me that Cassian had gone back to Velaris and Azriel had taken his place, with Amren, Mor and Lucien deciding to accompany him.

Mor was just telling me that she'd brought a trunk with my attire for Calanmai when we could hear Nesta shouting, and Nesta shouting could only mean trouble!

I arrived downstairs after the others to be met with quite a sight. Tamlin was on the floor with Nesta's foot pressed to his throat; he was making no attempt to remove it, even though he could have with no problem. Azriel had his hand on her shoulder, attempting to talk to her and Amren was directly facing her, arms folded, looking like she was just having a casual chat.

" – can't kill him Nesta, as nice as it may be," Amren finished saying.

"Of course I can kill him, it would be very easy," Nesta growled back.

"I'm not saying it wouldn't be easy; I'm saying that it would cause an awful lot of bother."

"'A lot of bother'?!" Nesta repeated back in incredulity. "You know what he's done, right?"

"I know - "

"First, he barges into our cottage and virtually kidnaps Feyre, telling us we'll never see her again. Then Feyre comes back and tells us that she died for him and was turned into a Fae. Then Elain and I get kidnapped from the house by his oh-so-wonderful High Priestess and given over to the king of Hybern and thrown in that damn Cauldron, turning us into Fae too. Then, he takes Feyre away from her mate….AND THEN he attacks her; someone who is trying to help him and her friend who was trying to protect her. So, tell me, why shouldn't there be a new High Lord of Spring?" As she said the last bit, Nesta pressed down harder with her foot.

I stepped forward, so the others could see me. "Nesta - "

She refused to look at me, her gaze fixed firmly on Tamlin's face. "I've failed to protect you for most of your life Feyre, you're not going to stop me now!"

"You can't kill him - " I began.

"We've already established that I can!" she shouted.

"Let me finish! If you kill him you'll create a power vacuum; he has no official Heir, the Courts will go to war over Spring and THAT is what I'm trying to avoid. So, take your bloody foot off his neck!"

When my words had sunk in she slowly removed her foot and Tamlin tentatively sat up, rubbing his neck. He didn't look at me, and I got the impression he was feeling bad for our fight earlier, so he was trying to keep a low profile.

"Let's move this into the dining room, shall we?" Mor said, trying to alleviate the tension.

We all filed in and sat around the table. Nesta made sure she was sat opposite Tamlin, so she could keep glaring at him. We all sat there in silence, no-one wanting to break the silence. I could see Mor almost bouncing in her chair, wanting to talk and I hoped she'd break soon. Fortunately, she did.

"Are we going to talk about this then?" she asked the whole table. "I mean, there's an awful lot going on and an awful lot that needs to be discussed."

"Let's discuss why you won't let me kill him," Nesta spat.

"You know why," I replied tiredly, putting my head on the table.

"So, you're willing to forgive him because he doesn't have an Heir?!"

"I'm willing to forgive him because it's the right thing to do," I said with my head still resting on my arms.

"'THE RIGHT THING TO DO'?!" Nesta shrieked. "You know what he did, right?!"

I lifted my head and looked at her with bleary eyes. "I think you eloquently pointed that out to all of us back in the hall, you know, when you had your foot pressed down on his throat. I think you can all see his latest indiscretion." I pointed to my face then put my head back down on the table. "The peace and stability of Prythian is higher on my list of priorities than revenge, Nesta. Now, I'm fed up of talking about this, so whilst we're all here can we please discuss other matters?"

"I'm not done!"

"Yes, you are!" I stated, putting on my best High Lady voice. Nesta stormed out of the room and Mor went to follow her. "Leave her." Mor sat back down. "Now; Calanmai," I focused my attention on Tamlin, "I'll preside, if you still want me to. I think you should make a big thing of it, invite the other High Lords, so you can show them that you're strong here in Spring. Part of that will be to have Lucien with you. Can I trust you to talk to Lucien without losing your shit like you did earlier?" Tamlin's face told me he didn't like the idea. "I'm not in the mood for fucking around Tamlin! You either agree to talk to, and work with, Lucien in a civilized manner, or I'm off home and you can sort your own shit out!" He begrudgingly nodded his head. I carried on to the rest of them, eager to get them all to work. "Tamlin and Lucien can write to the other Courts; Amren, can you please oversee them to make sure it goes….smoothly?" Amren nodded. "Make sure he," I pointed to Tamlin, "behaves and they talk through ALL their shit please. You're in charge."

"With pleasure," Amren answered, with her evil grin. I knew she'd like that task. I could see ire pass across Tamlin's face, and he looked ready to say something, but he reigned it in when he saw the looks that Amren and I threw at him; he seemed to understand that my patience was gone. Good – I didn't need a repeat of earlier.

Continuing, I gave the others their jobs. Elain and Mor were going to see to the remainder of preparations. Azriel, and Nesta if she wanted to help, were going to liaise with Bron and Hart about security. "You can use the Illyrian legion on the border to back up Spring's guards," I told Azriel.

"Why do you have a legion of Illyrian's on the border?" Lucien asked.

"Why do you think?" Tamlin replied. "Rhysand put them there while she's here."

Azriel nodded, looking sheepish. "How did you know?" he asked me.

"Ah, that would be telling, but let's just say you're not the only one with spies. Now, I'm off upstairs, it's been a long day. You lot can sort yourselves out." I pushed back my chair and made to step out of the room when I heard Mor shouting for me to stop.

"Wait for me!" She called.

I waited for her to catch me up. When she did she looked at me appraisingly and didn't look pleased by what she saw. I held my hand up to stop her comments.

"Fine," she huffed.

We walked back to the room in silence, but that silence was killing Mor; she was not someone who liked quiet. She liked noise and chatter and she liked to be the centre of it.

On arrival at our room I flumped down into one of the chairs. Mor sat opposite me.

"Can I talk yet?"

"If you don't expect an answer, yes." I answered, leaning my head back against the chair and shutting my eyes.

"Ok, sounds fair! So, I take it you and Rhys haven't talked about your little spat earlier. If you want, I can talk to him for you."

I opened my eyes and looked her, "You do realise you're making my break my no talking rule! I'll talk to him when he's ready to talk to me and not before."

As I finished talking we both heard a clatter on the table and noticed a folded-up piece of paper and pen. Mor smiled, knowing Rhys had sent it, and passed it over to me.

My Dearest Feyre,

I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. I can't say how sorry I am for earlier. You should know that I trust you implicitly and it never was my intention to make you think that you wanted him. I'm an idiot who doesn't deserve you; in fact, you have every right to remove my favourite body part (although seeing as it's also yours I'm kind of hoping that you won't!). If you want I'll come to you and make a grovelling apology, I'll kiss your feet…..as well as other parts…..

When you finally see fit to forgive me, I would be most grateful if you would call off Amren and Cassian! You should know that they have championed you most vehemently – not that they shouldn't have, as I was wrong – but the threats from Amren and the actual ass kicking from Cassian have not been pleasant to receive on top of the guilt of upsetting you.

I hope you forgive me soon, I can't bear to not talk to you and have you angry at me.

Love you always,

The prick you decided to accept a mating bond with and let impregnate you xx

Snorting at the message, I passed the note to Mor to read. Mor smiled as she passed the letter back to me. "So?" she asked. I raised my eyebrows at her, so she huffed in annoyance and elaborated, "so, are you going to forgive him?"

"Of course I will. Although, I think he should stew first for suggesting something so preposterous."

"Oh, definitely!" Mor grinned.

I'd excused myself from dinner early and went straight to my room. I sat there with Rhys' letter in my hand, ready to write a response. He'd tried to speak to me down the bond not long after the letter arrived, but I'd kept my shields up, so he'd left me alone after that. I now felt that he'd suffered enough and decided to put him out of his misery. I held the pen and started writing under his message.

Hello Prick!

I forgive you – and I won't maim you either!

I can't wait until Calanmai – make sure you arrive here early! You and I have some celebrating and making up to do xx

I smiled as I folded the letter and sent it. Just as it disappeared I heard the main door to the suite open as the others returned. Against my better judgement – I was tired and really needed the rest – I went into the main room. Mor was looking triumphant, clutching 2 bottles of wine and proudly told us that she'd informed Tamlin she was going to raid his wine cellar and he'd told her to help herself. Fatal mistake on his part!

I was glad to see that Nesta was back and was talking with Amren. Elain had sat down and just picked up her book and Azriel and Mor were searching for glasses. Lucien was trying to make it look like he wasn't looking at Elain.

Azriel saw me stood in the doorway and walked over. "Come on, sit down." I shook my head, but he grabbed my hand and led me to a chair. We spent a pleasant evening chatting, although Mor took every opportunity she could to tell us embarrassing stories about Rhys when they were younger. Despite everything that had occurred today I went to bed feeling a bit lighter inside, but I was still worried how things would go tomorrow with Tamlin and Lucien.