Author's Note: Three chapters in one night; aren't I good to you? ;) I'm excited about the next chapter, but you likely won't get it this evening because I need to focus a little attention on my other story. Besides, I need to come up with a really awesome typical JJ speech and that will take a less sleepy mind. Anyway, enjoy! :)

Chapter Twelve; We're Going To Be Amazing

"Oh my god.."

The air around the bullpen became deafeningly silent, save for one whisper. For a long moment, each agent simply stared at JJ, their heart aching at the state of their friend, and it was Garcia who moved first; wrapping her arms around the now brunette's small frame and clinging onto her like she was afraid that she was suddenly going to disappear again.

"Garcia." JJ choked out after almost thirty seconds in the redhead's tight embrace. "I-I can't breathe."

"I don't care." Tears glazed at Garcia's spectacle covered eyes. "I am so mad at you. Don't you ever do this to me again!"

"I'm so sorry.." JJ spoke honestly and gripped at her friend a little tighter to reinforce her statement; and when Garcia finally released her, she looked around at the faces of her team, her family, and repeated the sentiment. "All of you.. I am so sorry."

"We're just happy that you're safe." Rossi spoke somewhat paternally as he pressed a kiss to JJ's head.

"Yep, and once you've recovered, you are going to get a piece of my mind, baby girl." Morgan winked as he threw a brotherly arm around JJ. He was upset, they all were, but right in this very moment, he was more relieved – whatever else he felt could wait.

The smaller woman fell easily into the embrace, fighting her own tears now as she clung onto Morgan. "I can't wait."

As the dark agent finally released the young woman and stood back, Reid planted himself directly in front of JJ, his shifty eyes resembling that of a small, shy child before he flung his arms suddenly around his friend. "Welcome home, JJ."

Once the somewhat awkward yet very welcome hug between her and Reid ended, JJ looked up to her boss. Their eyes remained locked for a while, before Hotch finally looked away and the now brunette woman was left feeling like she had disappointed her parents. It was like a blow to the gut, but she understood. No matter what her reasoning was, she had disappeared and left a trail of chaos in her wake that her team had had to clean up – she was surprised that Hotch was the only one visibly disappointed with her. But as the Unit Chief began addressing the team, the ache in her chest was eased somewhat as she felt Emily's hand at the small of her back.

"I have a meeting with Strauss to figure out what to do about this mess." Hotch checked his watch as he spoke. "She's probably going to want to speak to all of you, so don't disappear. That includes you too, JJ."

Even Emily's presence couldn't shield her from that blow. "Yes, Sir." JJ spoke like an obedient child as her boss left the conference room.

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"It's not up to me, Aaron." Strauss spoke a little louder than intended. "I don't know where you all got this assumption that I'm some ice queen who doesn't have a heart, but I care about Jennifer too."

"I'm certain that assumption comes from the fact that you're standing by and allowing the guys at the top to throw her under a bus." Hotch spoke calmly, though his anger was clearly evident.

"You're a Unit Chief, so you know very well that there are people above both of us who we have to answer to. It's protocol. I don't have enough power change that."

Realistically, Hotch knew that Strauss was right. There wasn't a great deal that either of them could do in this situation. It was now down to the suits at the top – the suits who had never even met JJ, the suits who saw her simply as a number rather than a person – and that is where his anger towards his Section Chief was stemming from. "So, what now?"

Sighing and taking a seat behind her desk, Strauss responded. "One of the Director's investigators will come down and interview each of you. If they're satisfied, this won't even go to court. They want to see this disappear as much as we do. The last thing they want is to have it result in a bad reputation for the FBI and months of searching for someone of Jennifer's calibre to replace her."

"And if they're not satisfied?"

"Then there's nothing we can do, Aaron. If they can't go back to the Director with a satisfactory account of events from each of you, then this will be taken further and at the very least she will lose her job." Shaking her head slowly, Strauss spoke again. "They will see each of you somewhat similar to how they did with Emily, except it will probably be conducted to keep it out of the public eye as much as possible. Tomorrow morning at ten."

He hated it, but he had no choice other than to agree. There was only one issue though – Henry. "I'm sure you realise the situation with JJ's son. What are we expected to do with him in the mean time?"

"Jesus, Aaron. You and your team are beginning to prove more hassle than your worth." Sighing, not for the first time since Hotch had entered her office, Strauss spoke. "Leave him with me. I can keep him occupied for the few hours that the investigator is here. But you need to remember Aaron, if this doesn't go well, his father will need to be contacted. It's either that or social services take him, and I know you think I'm some kind of a bitch from hell but I don't want that either. Just.." She nodded with a further sigh, straightened her back and looked directly at Hotch. "Just fix this mess, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am." Hotch nodded, very uncertain about leaving Henry with Strauss. He wouldn't want to spend more than ten minutes alone with her, let alone expecting the small boy to do it, but another thought crossed his mind before he could even finish that one. "And JJ?"

"She'll have to go into custody tonight." Erin spoke distractedly as she shuffled through some papers on her desk. "She's a flight risk."

"With all due respect, the only reason that JJ is even back here right now is because she chose to be. She isn't going anywhere."

"So what do you suggest?" Erin Strauss looked across to her colleague, stress evident on her face. She was very aware of the reputation that she had, but she was the one who had to fix the messes that they made, she was the one who had to correct the situation when protocol was breached, and she was the one who had to take the flack for it each and every time one of Aaron's unit strayed off of the beaten path. They were a good team, the best even, and most of the choices that they made, she would have made herself – but it was still exhausting, and even more so when it came with no gratitude.

"I will place JJ with one of my agent's this evening." He already had one in mind, one that he was a little apprehensive about. If anyone was going to help JJ disappear again, it would be Emily – but he also knew that if anyone was going to keep her here, that would be Emily too. "She won't be going anywhere, I assure you of that."

"It'll be your badge if she does, Aaron. I can't keep taking the heat for your mistakes." Erin spoke a little calmer – this alternative didn't seem like an awful one, and if she was honest, she didn't want JJ spending the night in a cell either.

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"How did it go?" Rossi spoke as soon as Hotch entered the room.

Previous to his entrance, the team had been floating in easy banter that they all knew was a pretence. Of course they were happy to have one of their own back where she belonged, but each of their minds were focused wholly on what happened next. Where did they go from here?

Pausing to regard his team – as angry and as stressed as he was, it was still nice to see them all together as a family again – Hotch took a moment to breathe before he gave the good news. "We're all being investigated. Agent Thomas Blakely will be here at ten am tomorrow morning."

"And what happens from there?" Emily spoke, her hand immediately resting on JJ's thigh beneath the table.

"You don't want to know." Hotch spoke honestly. "Let's just.. not let it come to that. We just need to make them see that JJ is no murderer."

JJ's heart sank - she couldn't bear the look of stress on her boss' face, and even more, the certainty that she was the cause of it. "Hotch, I-"

"We'll talk when it's over, JJ. In the meantime, you're staying with Emily tonight. It was either that or you spend the night in the cells. But I managed to talk Strauss round with the promise that you weren't a flight risk. Do not make me regret it." Hotch spoke firmly, a small part of him still somewhat nervous that JJ would disappear again, but the look on her face reassured him that he needn't worry.

She was grateful at first, beyond grateful that she was being permitted to spend the night where she felt safest, but her heart sank suddenly further as she remembered one problem. How could she go home with Emily when that's where Henry would be? How did it come to be that everyone was taking care of her son but her?

"I'll take him." Garcia whispered when she noticed the conflicted look in JJ's eyes. "I'll pick him up from daycare and tell him it's a treat for being so good. We'll watch movies or something. And then if you do change your mind about seeing him, he'll be there. Okay, sweetie?"

The young woman smiled gratefully, and just as a further thought popped into her mind, Hotch spoke again, giving an answer as though he had read her mind.

"Strauss is taking care of Henry while the investigator is here tomorrow." The whole room fell silent and six sets of incredulous eyes aimed themselves directly at him. "I know but just.. don't. This situation is a mess enough as it is and she offered. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mountain of paperwork to get through today."

JJ wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel. It was almost like Henry was Hotch's son rather than hers, but did she really have the right to criticise anything after disappearing for over three weeks? Or maybe it was more like he was Emily's; he had spent almost every moment with her since she had abandoned him. Even Strauss seemed to be more of a parent to him than she had been over this past month. Everywhere she turned, someone was taking her son from her, but wasn't that a good thing under this circumstance? She was being ridiculous and she knew it, but her sleepy and shattered mind couldn't think logically.

"He's going to be just fine, I promise you." A gentle voice came from beside her.

Those nine little words and the hand that entwined with hers were all it took to settle JJ's churning stomach – because a promise from Emily needed no proof, no evidence; it just was. She wasn't sure where Emily found her strength, but she was grateful to have it showered upon her each time a door opened to release another demon that she had been running from.

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"Why don't you take a shower or a bath? There's plenty of clothes in my closet and there's clean towels in the bathroom. I'll make us some dinner." Emily spoke, half rambling as she removed her jacket and tossed it over the back of a stool in her kitchen. "Or we could stop by your place and pick up some of your things. They finished with their investigations weeks ago so that's an option. Or we could.." Emily finally stopped long enough to recognise that JJ hadn't moved from her spot by the stairs since they'd walked in.

JJ was simply staring; at the truck laid on it's side on the living room rug, the half empty cereal bowl on the coffee table, the toys littered across the sofa and the pile of freshly ironed small boy's clothing waiting to be put away. It was a sight that was so familiar to her and yet felt so foreign. Where there should have been an energetic boy running around her ankles and making more of a mess as she cleaned, there was an eerie calm. Where there should have been shrieks of laughter, there was a deafening silence. It was all wrong, so wrong.

"Sweetie.." Emily spoke softly as she walked over to JJ, placed her hands gently at the younger woman's arms and turned her. "Everything is going to be okay. Henry will be back before you know it and life will return to normal. We just need to get through tomorrow, okay?"

JJ remained silent, swallowed hard and dropped her gaze to the ground.

"Would you like to go see him? Because we really can. I will take you right now if that's what you want, baby."

It was what she wanted; more than she had ever wanted anything, she wanted that. But she wasn't selfish enough for that. Henry was going to have questions that she didn't hold the answers to, and aside from that, could she really just stride back into his life if there was a possibility that she would have to leave again? Shaking her head slowly and finally bringing her eyes to meet Emily's, JJ finally responded. "I can't, Emily."

Nodding knowingly – she knew exactly why JJ didn't feel right seeing Henry and she wasn't about to force her hand, even if she did think that it would do her some good – Emily spoke again. "Then I'm going to run you a bath. And you're going to take a long soak, and once you are done, dinner will be ready. Okay?"

A small nod came from a brunette head and a whisper of almost childlike innocence. "Okay.."

An hour later saw Emily clearing away the dinner dishes whilst JJ remained at the island in the older woman's kitchen. JJ had barely touched her food, eaten a few bites of chicken so that she didn't seem ungrateful towards Emily, but honestly, she couldn't face more than that. She was tired, exhausted even; the last thing that she wanted was to eat.

Placing the last dish into the dishwasher, Emily pressed a button and turned to face JJ. The younger woman definitely looked better since her bath, but the pain and exhaustion was still there, etched into every inch of her face like she had endured years and years of torment. Essentially, she had. This had been a part of her life since she was ten years old – and this, the right now, was just another part of the show that she was being forced to watch day in and day out. JJ's fight seemed to be gone, and in that moment, Emily vowed to give her her own strength, like a human offering herself to a vampire for his survival.

Without a word being spoken, Emily walked over to JJ and offered out a hand, pulled the younger woman to her feet and lead her to the bedroom. Once they were there, she pulled back the comforter and gestured for JJ to lay down. And when the smaller woman was finally tucked up beneath silk, Emily perched herself beside her and ran a hand over her now brunette hair. She wasn't sure if JJ wanted her to climb in bed beside her, not after what she had been through, and so she opted to keep her distance but a small voice requested otherwise.

"Lay with me, Emily. Please.."

Emily scanned JJ's face for a moment, but when she found no indication that the younger woman was speaking out of obligation, she lifted the comforter and pulled the smaller woman into her chest as she laid down. The feeling was indescribable. It was a nothing moment really, and yet it was everything. This was exactly what she had longed for on those nights that she spent crying herself to sleep, those nights where the strength that everyone seems to assume she has failed her; and if the hands clutching at her shirt were anything to go by, JJ had longed for it too.

Silence descended for quite some time and Emily was certain that JJ had fallen asleep so it startled her when she spoke again. "I love you, Emily. I am so in love with you, and I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring and I just.. I need you to know that."

The leaps and swoops in her stomach at JJ's words were overshadowed easily by the finality in them. It was like JJ was saying goodbye and she couldn't bear it, so she opted for a different response than the one that would typically be expected when your lover tells you that they are in love with you for the first time. "I was thinking that once this is over, you and I and Henry should take a trip."

JJ's brow furrowed, but she realised almost instantly what Emily was doing – exactly what she needed her to be doing; she was giving her hope. It did sting a little that the older woman hadn't returned her feelings, but a part of her felt that she was asking for too much in expecting such reciprocation, especially after everything that she had put her and everyone else through. She was lucky that the brunette was even still here, but she was so grateful that she was. "Can we go to Disney World?"

A genuine smile graced Emily's face as she rolled onto her side to face JJ, her hand drawing patterns against the blonde's back. "California or Florida? Please not Paris." Emily winked jokingly, though after the months that she had spent in that city evading Doyle, the request was actually fairly serious, too.

"Florida. I've always wanted to go." JJ spoke with some kind of twinkle back in her eyes. "And I think Henry would love it."

"I think he would too." Emily nodded as she brushed a lock of brunette hair behind the younger woman's ear. "I love this colour on you, by the way. I mean, it needs to go because we can't both be a brunette. But I love it nonetheless."

"Your hair is black, Emily." JJ smiled, enjoying the easy conversation. My god, she had needed this.

"Is not." Emily mock pouted. "Stop trying to steal my colour."

JJ's small smile turned into a full grin as she wrapped her arms around Emily and buried her face into the crook of her neck. She had never felt safer in her entire life. In Emily's scent, in the heat of her body, in the strong embrace of her arms, she felt as though nothing could touch her. The safety burnt as much as it soothed though, stung as much as it comforted and tears began to surface at her eyes – she didn't want to lose this. Pressing her lips gently against Emily's chest between the open material of her shirt, JJ allowed her hands to move from the older woman's shoulders, beneath the covers and down her arms, across her torso to her hips.

For a single moment, Emily lost herself in the sensation of JJ's touch, of the warm lips against her chest, the soft hand dipping below the hem of her shirt – but a sudden realisation pulled her from heaven. Placing her hand gently against JJ's to still their movements, Emily spoke softly. "JJ, you don't need to do that. You've been through a lot, you need your rest, and I am still going to be here in the morning, next week, next year. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

JJ squeezed her eyes tight shut, afraid to lift her head to look at Emily, and so instead, she buried it further into the brunette's chest and cried.

"Hey, sweetie.." Emily rubbed soothing circles against JJ's back. "You're okay, baby.. It's okay. It's okay."

"It's not, Em." JJ mumbled into the brunette's chest before shifting away from her completely, the comforter pulled up so tight around her neck that it was a miracle that she could still breathe. "I can still.. feel him."

"No." Emily spoke simply as she pulled the comforter from JJ's vice grip and melded herself against the younger woman once again. "You can feel me." Placing a hand against JJ's cheek, Emily questioned. "Feel that?" A small nod came from JJ and the brunette allowed her hand to trail from a tear stained cheek to a shoulder, down over a toned back and settled upon a slightly protruding hip, her thumb rubbing circles there. "And that?" A small nod came from JJ again before Emily spoke. "That is me, that's not him. And I will spend my life erasing his touch from your skin if that's how long it takes."

Tears still burned at JJ's eyes, but she needed Emily to just.. keep touching her. It was the one thing soothing the burn from every place that Percy's grubby hands had been. "Please don't stop, Emily.."

Emily surveyed the situation for a moment, her breathing increasing a little at how unintentionally sexually intimate this moment had suddenly become as she looked into JJ's tear-glazed eyes. It really wasn't intentional; she hadn't been trying to get JJ to do anything, and even though the younger woman was straight out asking for her to, could she really continue whilst she knew what she had been through? "JJ-"

To an outsider, the words that JJ was about to speak could have easily come across as a major guilt trip, but they couldn't have been farther from that – they were genuine insecurities; the knowledge that she was now damaged goods, the certainty that Emily didn't love her. Her mind was too shattered to recognise that Emily's actions so far had been that of someone who far more than simply likes someone. She had resigned herself to the fact that she was going to prison tomorrow, and she would spend the next twenty-five years alone in a cell with nothing but the memory of Percy's touch to fuel her nightmares – she needed to replace that with Emily, even if Emily didn't love her, even if it was pretend.

"I know you don't love me, Emily." She blinked to ease the stream of tears as she spoke the words, ensuring that she missed the sudden expression of protest adorning Emily's features. "And I know I'm damaged goods, but please. I need to feel something other than him. Please pretend, please.. just for one night."

"JJ, I am not going to pretend anything." JJ's features dropped further, if that was even possible, and Emily knew that she needed to fix the implications that the younger woman had taken from her words before it was too late. Allowing her hand that had been resting against the younger woman's' hip to slip beneath a grey tank top, Emily's fingers drew patterns against a toned abdomen. "Because this.." Her hand trailed a little further. "This isn't pretend, JJ. Look at me, baby."

Blue eyes fluttered open and met Emily's gaze as she felt soft fingers reach higher and higher and brush in a feather-like touch over her breast.

"This isn't pretend." She whispered the sentiment once more. Removing her hand from JJ's shirt, Emily gently pushed back the comforter until it was barely covering either of them, her dark eyes remaining locked with blue as she slowly, cautiously, removed the blonde's sweatpants. "This is reality." Light brown hair swept against grey as a tank top was removed, and pink lips met comfortingly, lovingly, reassuringly, before a naked JJ sank back against the mattress once more, pulling Emily with her.

For a second, as she lay down beside her lover and brushed a strand of hair from her face, she simply watched JJ; nothing but love and adoration burning from her dark eyes. "Don't you ever, ever question whether or not I love you.." Pressing her lips gently to JJ's, her fingers caressing the almost visible ribs beneath the blonde's breasts, she whispered again. "There was never a moment when I didn't love you, JJ.. And there never will be."

JJ closed her eyes in relief, her back arching and a gasp escaping from her lips as a warm mouth pressed to her collarbone, her chest, before it closed around a nipple and tears fell silently from her cheeks. They weren't tears of pain, or distress, or any indication that she didn't want this; they were tears of relief, tears that reflected the breath that she had been holding every second of every day since she was a child.

With her fingers laced with JJ's, her thumbs brushing soothingly over tensed knuckles; Emily allowed her lips to leave the blonde's nipple, to make a journey across an exposed stomach and when she reached the very bottom of JJ's abdomen, she stopped, her lips still pressed to heated skin as she peered up into deep blue eyes, giving the younger woman the opportunity to stop her if she needed to. Those words never came, but in their place were words of a different kind..

"I need to.. I need to feel you, Emily. I.." JJ faltered, unsure of how to verbalise what she wanted. "Your clothes.. I.. I don't want you to be clothed."

Emily had purposely neglected to remove her own clothing. The last thing that she wanted was for JJ to take such an act as a hint that she expected something in return. But as she did as requested and lay her full weight against the younger woman, their bodies entwining into one; the small gasp that left slightly parted lips told her that the only way to fully remove Percy's touch from JJ's body, was with her own body, her own skin, her own touch.

Loving blue eyes stared up at brown and two small hands brushed back raven hair. "Touch me, Emily.." When Emily didn't move, but instead silently questioned her, JJ took a hold of her hand and maneuvered it between them. "Like this.."

Both women gasped as Emily's fingertips met liquid heat, and for several moments, they each lost themselves to nothing but that one touch, the way their combined bodies moved in perfect unison, the breaths that left each of their lips and fell directly into the other's.

JJ's back arched into Emily and her hands gripped tighter at the sides of the brunette's face; she needed to keep her there, she needed to see her eyes, she needed to know that she wasn't losing her. "Please, Emily.. I.." She faltered again, instead allowing the increased thrust of her hips to ask for her.

But as Emily understood completely, as two fingers slipped gently but firmly inside her, the tears returned. Tears that were actually sobs, tears that she hoped beyond anything wouldn't be misconstrued by the brunette. No part of her wanted Emily to stop, and thankfully, the brunette seemed to understand that, too.

"Never.." Emily whispered in response to the silent plea. Even though she was already inside JJ, there was nothing hurried about it; nothing. It had hurt to know that JJ didn't think that she could ever love her, and she intended to show her, to make her believe. But as she felt a small hand leave her face, ghost past her stomach and dip into her own heat, she stopped suddenly. "JJ, you don't need to do that."

"Yes, I do." Teary blue eyes latched onto brown once again as she moved her fingers slowly through Emily's own wetness. Her sobs had eased, but her words were still broken. "But it's-it's a need in me.. I.. I need to be this close to you in case I never get the chance again."

"You'll have the chance." Emily breathed unevenly as JJ's fingers brushed over her clit and she finally allowed her own fingers to pick up a pace once again. "This isn't the end of us. We're going to be amazing, baby." And she meant every word – there was no way that she was going to let the worst happen tomorrow, no matter what that meant.

"I believe that." JJ breathed, a small whimper falling from her lips as Emily's fingers thrust a little deeper.

"I-.." Emily moaned as she felt JJ's fingers slip inside her. "I'm not going anywhere, JJ, and.. and neither are you."

And in a single moment, JJ truly believed that to be true. Her fight was returning, which each movement of their sweat-glazed bodies, with each thrust that pushed her closer to heaven, with each beautiful whimper that erased any memory of Percy Watson, she regained the strength that she had once had.

This was not going to beat her.