I'm so horrible. But after this story idk if I can do any more TMI Dx I just don't have the same motivation or even interest in fanfiction anymore, idk. It's been real though, my dudes and your reviews and everything make me smile. Thank you guys who have stuck around. I'm going to work on an epilogue, but this is pretty much the end, finally. Thanks tmitrashtbh for reviewing last night. My drunk self was like wow someone still cares, and I got my ass on and finished the chapter lol. I'll try not to take too long on the epilogue. And of course, thank you to the lovely lady who started it all, luminousfishy. I'm sorry it took so long to finish the story, and I hope you're okay with how it's turned out 3

I wake up to an odd feeling. It can't be past three in the morning, and the city outside is so quiet; from Valentines fortress, I could always hear, if not feel, the steady buzzing from the city. It had become a comfortable ambiance to me. But here in Jersey, it's quieter, and darker. As quietly as I can, I inch through the small house looking for anything out of place. My hair on end, sick in my stomach, I don't find anything until I look out the window into the alleyway.

A figure is standing at the mouth of the alleyway, and if I look just close enough, I can see a sort of shimmering along the entrance to the alley in front of them. The lights from the street are broken, as are many in this city, I found out when I had to navigate myself here.

I pull my stele out of my pocket. I don't have my daggers, but I could still stab somebody with the slim adamas if I really need to. Very carefully, I let my fingers slide over the rune I drew near the door for protection. It's there, which gives me some sense of comfort. The locking rune, however, is slashed through harshly, disabling it. Someone was in here after me. With a fluttering heart, I slip open the door and step out, not bothering to close it for fear of making too much noise. I quietly step around the puddles and debris of the alley, guided only by the dim moonlight that filters in through the city smog. The stars are even hardly visible, which I use to my advantage, sticking to the shadowed sides of the alley.

I watch the figure—definitely a man, judging by the tall stature—shift from one leg to the other. It's a chilly night out, but I didn't feel it, the only thing was adrenaline rushing through me. I didn't think I had any left after the fight on the rooftop, but just a few hours of sleep seemed to give it all back to me. I was ready for another fight.

Closer I creep, until I'm just feet from the guy. I still can't make out anything under his hood, and the shadow that he stands in, but I decide to go for it anyways. With an almost territorial huff, I lunge for the man, and my shoe kicks up gravel as I launch myself forward. My body collides with solid muscle, but we both tumble down, me on top with my stele poised at the side of the neck. A touch as soft as silk brush my fingers as I jerk the hood back, golden hair spilling through my fingers, before a strangled, "Clary."

I stumble backwards, and he slowly rolls over, looking up at the sky and breathing heavily. "Nice to see you too," he says and sits up, a wry smile on his familiar, beautiful face.

For the first time since my life flipped upside down, I cry tears of happiness. "Jace," I gasp, scrambling forward and reaching for him desperately.

"You're okay," I choke, my throat tight as if I'm coming down with a cold. I place my hands on his face, looking for any signs of damage. He looks dirty and tired, but otherwise unharmed.

"I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine," he smiles softly, his eyes scanning me in the same cautious manner.

"And my mom, where is she? Did you get separated?"

Something in the way he looks at me shifts almost imperceptibly, and my stomach pitches dangerously. "Jace."

"Clary, I… She," his jaw moves but no real words come out. His hand digs into his pocket, and he pulls something small and shiny out. It was a silver band, similar to the one that I had noticed Alec wearing before, but slightly less chunky and a little more feminine. My jaw locks when he takes my hand and places the ring in my palm.

It's my mothers, and I don't think that I've ever seen it separated from the chain she wears it on, always underneath the collar of her shirt and out of sight. But at home, I often saw it slip out. It has a delicate set of wings engraved into it. Jace holds my hand and presses the ring into it, his eyes telling me all that I need to know. As I look down at the dainty ring and my lip begins to tremble, his arms find my waist and pull me closer.

My heart fell apart at the same time that the tears spill over, silent and painful. A hot poker twists in my chest and I shake, Jace's hands at my back, running up and down, kneading all of the pent-up grief and bad energy out of me. It came in waves, but the entire time he sat there, not saying a word and letting me grieve.

"I called and left Isabelle a message," I whisper hoarsely some time later. Jace had led me back into the dingy building where we're still laying on the mattress together. Our chests rise and fall pressed together, and my head lays on his arm. My throat burns from all the tears that soaked my collar and his, and his hand is still working at my back in a relaxing lull. I'm not sure where my voice comes from, or why I blurt it out, but the silence was starting to hurt my head.

"I'm sure they'll find us," he murmurs softly. "If not, we can hitchhike back tomorrow."

"What do you think will happen now?" I ask after another long, deafening silence. "Without the wristbands, without Valentine?"

"A new government will form, I'm sure," he shrugs. "Maybe both Shadowhunter and Mundane, together."

"That might be nice," I sigh, trying to picture going back home to a place with no Clave members patrolling, no wristbands. Freedom. But the thought of going back to Salt Lake feels wrong. What would I be going back to? An abandoned home, a ruined city. I imagine that's what a lot of homes will feel like across the country—empty, ruined, dead.

"What do you think you'll do?" Jace asks, his voice taking on a different, more cautious tone. "After everything settles."

"I'm not sure. I don't think I want to go back to Salt Lake." I look up at him through puffy eyes. His are trained on the ceiling, but he looks apprehensive.

"Will you go with me?" he asks breathlessly, as if he feared a negative answer.

"Of course," I smile and place a small kiss on his bare shoulder. "Where else would I go?"

"I don't know," he groans. "I guess I was worried this was all a fluke."

"What do you mean?" I furrow my eyebrows and sit up a little bit to see his entire face contorted in worry.

"I mean, we started dating awfully quickly, didn't we?" he says rhetorically, and I know he doesn't expect an answer, but I feel obligated to anyways.

"Yeah, we did. So what?" I say, challenging his statement.

"So nothing, I guess," he laughs and leans in closer, his golden eyes roaming over my face. I close my eyes and tilt my head back, waiting for him to lean into me. His lips were warm on mine; chapped, but pliable and sweet like mint.

"I'm in this, Jace," I sigh after pulling away. "This wasn't a fling."

"I'm glad," he smiles at me and nestles his head on top of mine again. "You should sleep."

And although my heart is aching for my mother, I feel like Jace is somehow able to hold me together, if just for the night.

Morning comes quickly, as it usually does when you're sleeping hard. I don't remember if I dreamt or not; I'm counting on not, but my eyes are still puffy and I'm still exhausted. I roll over expecting Jace to be there, my own personal furnace, but he's not. I quickly sit up and a brief flash of worry enters my mind.

"Jace?" I call out, standing up and folding my arms, my hands tucked under my armpits for warmth.

He's not in the house, nor is he in the alley. My stomach drops and I call his name out again into the alley, looking down both ends and seeing not one sign of him save the runes he drew last night. Where would he have gone? Why would he have left?

I hurry back into the house, my throat tightening. Maybe he went to contact the Institute. Maybe he got cold feet; it would make sense why he was asking me about it last night. Maybe he felt bad. I can't stop the horrible thoughts from penetrating my sleepy brain, but they're all silenced when I walk back into the single room and notice the small scrap of paper on the floor next to the mattress.

I snatch it up, nearly giving myself a papercut as my eyes scan the words and my breathing relaxes. He went out to get us coffee. I feel so stupid even entertaining the thought that maybe he left me, after everything that we've been through. It was a stupid notion.

I sit down and take a few deep breaths, calming myself. A small glint catches my eyes, my mother's ring wrapped snugly around my ring finger. The sun coming in through the cracks of the boarded windows shines on the smooth silver. The intricate wings on the band make me wonder if my mother was in heaven—if heaven even existed, or if it was just nothing that came after death. Was there some sort of consciousness? Was she aware that she was dead? Those thoughts terrified me more than the slow realization that she was actually gone. Just when I had gotten her back for a few short moments, she was gone again as quick as the regime that was taken down last night.

At least she died for something.

I scoffed at myself. As if that makes it okay.

I was just as happy as the next person to see Valentine's empire crumble, but not at the cost of my mother's life. I still didn't even know what happened.

"Clary?"

I jump a little and look up to find Jace standing there with a drink carrier holding two steaming paper cups, and a bag.

"Are you okay?" he asks and hurries to set the stuff down and come sit next to me.

"How did it happen?" I ask, my voice thin and brittle. He sits down next to me and holds his hands clasped between his bent knees.

"I'm not entirely sure," he sighs and ruffles his hair nervously. "We knew the portal was going to close any time. We were supposed to be right behind you, but then another wave came up."

"Did you see her?" I swallow back more tears. "Did you see it happen?"

"I didn't," he whispers. He sounds ashamed. "We were surrounded when she handed me the ring. She told me to go, and I—I didn't want to leave her. Clary I really didn't. But the thought of you losing both of us? It might be selfish, but…"

I nod and wipe a few more tears away. She gave Jace the chance to get away, and he took it. I can't blame him for that.

"I tried to get her to come with me, but every time one of us made for the ledge, there was another Clave member blocking the way. I don't know what happened," he mumbled. I looked up to find his honey eyes wet with regretful tears. "I'm so, so sorry. I should have stayed."

"I should have stayed too," I manage to respond. I don't know if it was to make him feel better or make myself feel worse—either way I still feel partially responsible. I should have dragged them along with me. Then they'd both be here now.

"I know this might not mean much to you, having grown up a mundane, but she went out like a real Shadowhunter. Not like those Clave minions that don't have any sense of justice. She took a lot of them down with her," he tries to smile reassuringly. One corner of my mouth lifts, imagining her taking out a bunch of those bastards like a hero. She may not have liked the idea of martyrdom, but it was still an amazing thing that she did for Jace.

"It means a lot," I murmured and reached for the hot coffee, the rich scent reminding me of groggy mornings with my mom. The ones where both of us were zombified and in desperate need of caffeine. I loved those morning so much, and how we'd finally be able to start up a conversation after the first cup. A few more tears slipped from my eyes, which were miraculously not dried up completely yet. This time, they were happy tears. I decided I would celebrate her life, not mourn her death. She would have liked that better.