She did something wrong, she must have done something wrong.
Ever since she'd run into Peridot earlier that day, and saw the girl run off as she had, Lapis couldn't stop thinking that she did something to cause that. Had she crossed an unspoken line? Gone too far with her flirting and teasing? Said or did something that had upset Peridot in some way? She didn't know. She couldn't think of anything that she could have done, and the girl had seemed fine that morning when they saw each other in art class, even when she left she was no different. She'd smiled at Lapis and made friendly small talk while there weren't any students and was as she always was.
But, she looked so terrified when Lapis saw her next like she was scared of Lapis. Like the teacher had done something to hurt her somehow? She'd tried to find Peridot after school, but the blonde must have hightailed it out of the building as soon as the bell rang, she didn't even see her at her locker or in the halls at all. She had to give Peridot some credit there; the girl could book it when she wanted to.
She just wanted to know if Peridot was okay, if she did something wrong and if so; how she could make it up to her student.
God, it was eating her up inside not knowing what she did.
Maybe she'd told her friends about their time together and they'd talked Peridot into seeing Lapis as some kind of creep, a pervert for hanging around her student like she did. Talked her out of just talking with her. Maybe someone put all sorts of thoughts into Peridots head to keep them apart. If someone did, Lapis was going to find them and...
She didn't know what she'd do. What even could she do in that situation? If she did anything, she'd just make herself look worse. She'd seem possessive, she didn't want to be possessive of a person again.
Hell, she didn't even know what the problem was to begin with! Honestly, that's what made it worse, the not knowing. If she knew what she did wrong, why Peridot ran from her, then this wouldn't bother her as much. Wouldn't hurt her as much. She'd have an idea of where she went wrong, have an idea of how she could fix it all. If something needed to be fixed. What was she saying, there was no 'if', she did something wrong and that was that, that meant there was something that needed fixing.
She couldn't help but think that this would all hurt less if she hadn't gotten into a fight with Jasper just before running into Peridot. Her ex always made everything feel so much worse, and this was no exception.
"Maybe Peridot heard me and Jasper fighting," Lapis murmured as she rested her head against her paint-caked desk, staring out into her empty classroom. "If so, can't blame her for wanting to avoid me, I'd want to avoid someone if I'd overheard or seen what went on between Jasper and me."
This was just awful, some stupid mess she wished she wasn't in.
Lapis let out another, long and dread filled groan as she covered the back of her head with her arms. Hoping to be swallowed up by the void that made off with tubes of paint and her good paint brushes when her back was turned.
She'd try again tomorrow. Maybe Peridot was just upset by something. But what if she didn't want to talk to Lapis again, or have anything to do with Lapis again? She could feel her heart twisting painfully in her chest just thinking about it. God, just, where did she screw up at?
"Lapis?"
The blue-haired art teacher jumped at the intrusive voice before raising her head to look at the nurse in all her plumpness and pink curls glory. Rose had a worried frown and her brows knitted together as she quietly closed the door behind her, silencing the art room to the rowdiness of the hallway.
"Are you okay, Lapis?" Rose asked as she approached the young teacher, glancing around the room, "Did something happen with Jasper? If she did something, I can bring it up with Principal Azure."
Lapis shook her head as she sunk back down onto her desk, "It's not Jasper," well, not entirely. She couldn't say Jasper was completely blameless in her currently dejected mood, but, as much as she may like to, she couldn't pin it all on her. "It's… it's nothing, don't worry about it, Rose."
Rose didn't look all too convinced, "If something's wrong, you can talk to me, you know that right?"
She nodded and didn't look up, instead she began silently counting all the paint stains and marker ink on her desk. So far she'd gotten a pretty big number, too much to count. "I'm fine, I promise. Scouts honor, even," Good thing she was never a scout or she might feel bad about lying. A few moments of silence passed between the two and Lapis glanced up at Rose again. She worried her lip between her teeth as she hesitated in talking. "Hey, your offer to come over for dinner still open?"
The nurse smiled and it was like the sun decided to plant itself on her face with how blindingly bright it was, "It always is. If you're thinking of coming over, would you like me to drive you or…?"
"I think I might stop by. Thanks, but, I can drive myself. I'll need to check in on Malachite before I go," Lapis shook her head. "What time would be good to come over?"
"Anytime, our door is always open, I'll see you there," Rose smiled, "Is there anything I can help you with before I go?"
"I'm good, thanks," Lapis answered as she sat up on her desk. Her chin felt sore from pressing against the desk for so long, "You get going, I'm going to head home soon myself. Mala's bound to be missing me."
"Fair enough," Rose nodded, "Well, if there's nothing you need then I'll be going. Got to make sure there's a table set for you tonight. Say hi to Malachite for me, okay?"
Waving Rose out as she backed out of the room, Lapis gave a smile, "Will do."
Once the nurse was gone, Lapis got to work packing up her bag. Papers, notes and art equipment going into her bag as she fished her keys out of it as well. On her way out, she lingered for a moment in the hall where Peridots locker was, hoping maybe her student was still around, but she didn't see the blonde at all. Though, Lapis did get a glance of Jasper talking to some of the athletes, who, thankfully, did not seem to notice her at all. Thank God for that, they would have had a Round Two of their earlier argument if she had caught sight of Lapis.
With a dejected sigh and heavy weight in her chest, Lapis made her way home.
It was a couple of hours after talking with Rose that Lapis finally showed up on the doorstep of the Quartz-Universe household. She was still a little early for dinner, but that wouldn't hurt anyone.
She'd hoped that spending some time at home with one of her TV shows and Malachite while she waited for time to pass until she came to Rose's home for dinner would help her forget about earlier. But, it only gave her time to let it simmer inside her even longer. She didn't feel better, she just felt a little worse is all.
Not in regards to Jasper. Sure Lapis was still a bit bothered by her argument with Jasper, but she was over that for the most part. She was still upset over Peridot avoiding her that afternoon. And, honestly? She hated that she was upset over something so stupid.
"Just… try to look like normal," Lapis muttered to herself as she took in a deep breath to collect herself. No use coming into the household of the happiest family ever with a frown. They'd bend their backs backwards just to find out what's wrong and help her. Something she didn't want them to do. "Okay, I'm good. This will be a good night," she pepped herself as she raised her hand and gave the wooden door a few hard knocks.
She could hear loud footsteps, someone running through the house and someone yelling, not that she could make out the words. After a few seconds the door was pulled open and she was met with the smile of a young little boy with curly black hair.
"Lapis!" Steven cried out, throwing himself onto the blue haired woman in a massive hug. "Mom said you'd be coming! I'm glad you came!"
If there was one thing Lapis couldn't deny, it was that she couldn't help but smile whenever Steven was around. The boy just had that power or something. An infectious cheer to him that could make her a little happier when she hung around him. With a small laugh, Lapis bent down to ruffle his hair. "Well, your mom kept inviting me so often, I couldn't keep turning them down, could I?"
Steven laughed at that as he pulled her in with quite a bit of strength for a grade schooler. The door shut behind them and she was led into the living room, past the freshly vacuumed stairs where their cat slept. She could hear a guitar upstairs signaling Greg practicing some songs of his.
From the kitchen Lapis could smell something cooking, it smelled good, though she couldn't figure out what it was. A moment later Rose poked her head out from the entry way and smiled, "Lapis? Is that you?" she asked.
Lapis gave a wave with her free hand, "No, it's a ghost. Here to haunt you and your family for your crimes," she answered jokingly, "Boo."
Rose laughed, shaking her head at that, "Well, I can't imagine what crimes I or my family has committed, are you sure you have the right family, Ms. Ghost?" she asked, playing along with the little joke.
"No, no. You've made some crimes, crimes I'm not at liberty to say, but it's warranted an eternal haunting," Lapis shook her head, giving the nurse a crooked smile as Steven laughed beside her, "But, I'll halt my haunting in exchange for a good meal."
"Come on, mom! We have to feed the ghost!" Steven added with quite a bit of energy, "You don't want us to be forever haunted, do you?"
The plump woman gave a small hum, finger to her chin and other on her hip as she thought it over. "Well… I suppose one extra mouth to feed won't hurt anyone, you've got yourself a deal, Ms. Ghost," Rose decided finally, "Though, you'll have to wait with my son for a bit. Dinner won't be ready for another ten minutes."
"I'm fine with that, ghosts aren't picky about when they get to eat."
With that, Rose ducked back into the kitchen, still chuckling over that short little game between them as she went back to cooking and Steven resumed his tugging to get her where he wanted her to be. He started talking as he brought her to the couch.
She sat down on the couch, listening as Steven started talking about how much she'd missed out on since she'd last seen him. He'd made friends with a girl named Connie who'd moved into town during the summer, that she's really cool and Lapis should meet her one day. His cat, Lion, came home with a dead mouse yesterday.
Lapis would smile, laugh and offer some bit of commentary where she needed to. Listening attentively to his stories with her legs crossed and chin rested on a hand.
It was kind of nice being here. The Quartz-Universe family had always been warm and welcoming, and she certainly wasn't the first or last who'd found their home as some kind of safe haven from the rest of the world. Listening to Steven ramble on about his name with the enthusiasm natural to little kids, hearing the rustling of the kitchen and the occasional mew from the stubborn cat on the stairs; It made her forget for a moment her own storm of worries and thoughts. If just for a short while.
But, even she couldn't keep up a smile forever. Even if the expression didn't fall from her lips, her eyes must have given it away. Because Steven faltered in his riveting tale of one of his adventures at the Big Donut to look up at her with worry.
"Lapis, are you okay?"
She blinked at looked down at the small boy, "Oh, of course I am," she answered quickly, "Why would you think I'm not?"
He frowned and shook his head, "You just, you had a kind of sad look," he explained. He was pretty sensitive to when others were feeling down, it was kind of scary sometimes. "Did something happen? Mom said you had a run in with You-Know-Who today. Did she do something to you?"
Of course he'd worry about her, she felt a little bad for making him worry in the first place. Sighing, Lapis shook her head, "Jasper had nothing to do with it. Well, not entirely," she said, patting him on his head.
"Then what was it?"
Lapis knew better than to tell him to forget about it. When Steven wanted to know something, he could be a bit stubborn. But, how much should she tell him? Biting her lip, she looked away to the kitchen, as though Rose might be listening in. "Well… there's this girl," she began. She could just hear the stars popping up in his eyes when she said those words, and she certainly heard the small gasp and 'aw' he let out. The kid was a bit of a romantic sometimes, "We're not dating. Nothing like that," she burst his bubble rather quickly.
Waiting a moment, Lapis felt herself slump forward, "We've been hanging out a lot. Got lunch pretty often, hung out and talked almost every day. We, well, we had plans to get lunch today, and she seemed pretty normal and as she always was this morning," Lapis explained and brought a hand up to run through her hair, "But…"
"Did she bail on you?" Steven asked.
"No… well, not exactly," Lapis shook her head at that, "When I went to meet up with her, ask her if she was ready to head out for lunch or not. She… well, she was acting weird. It was pretty obvious she was lying too when she said why she couldn't make it to lunch. It was like she was afraid of me or something. And… well, it's been eating at me all day. I can't think of what I did wrong."
Steven was quiet after that, and so was Lapis. Both sitting on the couch thinking it over as Lapis fidgeted with her hands and looked at her lap.
After what felt like forever, Steven reached over and placed his small hand on Lapis' and looked up at her with an expression not fitting a little kid, but somehow fit him nonetheless. "Lapis, I'm sure you didn't do nothing wrong," he said, sure of himself in his response. "You're one of the greatest people I know. Something probably happened, but, give it some time and I'm sure everything will be normal between you two again."
He said things like that so easily. Even if they were obvious answers, coming from him it felt a bit more believable. Lapis gave a tired smile and nodded. "I hope so, Steven. I really hope so," she replied. Maybe she was just overreacting, Peridot and her would be back to their usual lunches and chats come tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then the day after. Lapis sighed and looked up at the ceiling, "You're way too wise. Are you sure you're a kid?"
The boy laughed and rubbed his neck, "What can I say? I learned a thing or two from the drama's I've watched."
The two shared another laugh at that before they heard Rose calling to them from the kitchen that dinner was ready 'For my son and his ghost friend' which got a smile from both of them.
Lapis hoped as she headed to the table, trailing after Steven, that the boy was right. She wanted Peridot to talk to her like usual again, to hang out with her, she didn't want the blonde to look at her so frantic and scared like she had during that afternoon.
Late chapter and I'm sorry about that. I'll try to update more frequently again now that summer is here, but I am working on three active fics at the moment so I can't promise anything. As always, let me know what you think, if I made errors and whatnot.
On a side note, in case you didn't know yet. I've made a side blog on Tumblr for this fic, to ask questions and what not. I saw some of my favorite fics did it, so I wanted to give it a try. If you're interested, the URL is the-moon-is-beautiful-official