Thank you for all the wonderful chapter replies. They do so much to get me motivated to write. I can't tell you how nice it is to get short notes about the story, though longer ones are awesome! Warning: The next chapter contains some touchy/feely parts and a bit of groping. You've been warned!
A Season in Purgatory
Chapter 14
Brooke grabbed her backpack from the passenger seat before locking the doors and heading down the sidewalk. She tried to stay inconspicuous, as inconspicuous as she could be walking around a quiet neighborhood in the middle of the night. After driving around Luke's neighborhood for 15 minutes, she'd realized that parking right outside his house might not be a good idea. She didn't know if Karen knew her car or not, but she didn't want to take any chances that someone would recognize her car and wonder why it was parked outside of Lucas Scott's house. Brooke had finally decided to leave her car two streets away, which would be a good enough distance to confuse any interested parties. She walked briskly, eyes constantly roving the shadows that threatened to overwhelm her even on a sunny day. Bad things came in the dark, she was all too aware of that. If the past had taught Brooke anything, it was that appearances were deceiving and you could never trust the illusion of safety.
She let her eyes linger on some of the houses as she made her way down his street, noting that most of the buildings were painfully small, if neatly kept. She passed yard after yard that gave clues about the families that owned them, swing sets for the established families, rocking chairs on the porches of the older residents. There was a hominess that pervaded the entire neighborhood, a sense of unity that her own expensive area of town couldn't compete with. Stopping, she read the address of the house in front of her and realized this was her destination. Brooke had never really given any thought to the fact that Lucas literally lived on the wrong side of the tracks from her. No doubt her mother would shudder at the notion of a Davis socializing with someone who lived this close to the river. She inspected the house, noting the flowers that surrounded the wrap around porch and the general thought that had been put into the furniture placement. This wasn't a den of iniquity as her mother was fond of calling the lower classes of Tree Hill, but rather a modest, welcoming home.
Stepping carefully, she made her way around the old porch, careful to avoid making the ancient boards squeak under her weight. She only saw a couple of lights on in the house, but she didn't want to take a chance and get Lucas in more trouble than he was already in. Brooke hesitated outside his door for a moment, before gently turning the old brass knob and pushing it open.
She walked inside, her eyes immediately seeking out her host. She smiled when she found him hunched over his keyboard, typing with a furious pace. Noticing the earphones he wore, Brooke reached over and flipped the light switch. Luke's head spun quizzically around, his face lighting up when he finally spotted her next to the door.
"Hey," he softly greeted her, walking over to where she still uncertainly stood near his doorway. He reached past her to flick the lock on the door, and then gently took her backpack from her. "Did you have trouble finding the place?" he asked, knowing that they lived in vastly different worlds, even if they had the same zip code.
"Your directions were good," she said, casually looking around his room. Brooke's moved over the impossibly small twin bed, only momentarily wondering how someone his height could sleep on such a small surface. She was drawn to the pictures that covered nearly every flat surface. "I like your house."
Luke's eyes drew together in confusion at her words. He wasn't sure if she was trying to be funny or not. "I know it's not a huge brick McMansion, but we're happy with it." His tone was kind of sharp, the tension of the night still affecting his mood. His precarious economic situation had always been a sensitive topic for Lucas. And while it helped that most of his friends at the rivercourt were also from modest households, Lucas carried it like the badge of a wounded solider. His indignation wasn't for the material things he lacked but rather for how hard his mother had worked over the years and how little she had for herself.
Brooke noticed the distant look on his handsome face, but wasn't sure what caused that emotion. Failing to find another chair outside of the one at his desk, she sat gently on the side of his bed. "Oh, you'd be surprised how nice this house is compared with the empty façade I live in," she said, a dull edge entering her voice. She looked him dead in the eye and fought to keep her voice level. "There's a reason I'm at your house and not my own." Brooke had come to hate her home, feeling at once both vulnerable and anxious even in her own room. She'd fought so hard to forget that night, forget the pain and shame she felt. If she could control the memories of that night, then she could make it better. She just needed to make sure that no one found out, that no one else knew what had gone on that night. She would be all right as long as she could control the memories of that night. And she couldn't control it if anyone else knew what happened.
Lucas instantly felt guilty at his earlier suspicion. How many times had he thought the same thing about Nathan? That while his half brother had two huge houses; he didn't have a great mother like Lucas did. "So what's going down at home that makes sleeping in a car look like a good alternative?" Brooke might be free spirited, but Lucas would never have described her as capricious.
She stared at his worn floorboards for a moment, weighing her desire to protect her family dysfunction and to hide her own shame with the opportunity to finally tell someone about how bad things were getting. Brooke wanted to confide in him, but as with Nathan, she just couldn't find the words to tell Lucas about that night. About her stepfather's lecherous looks and her mom's complete indifference. About that drunken, hazy night when she'd tried so hard to push J.J. off her… She should have fought harder or done something to make him stop. She'd spent so much time and energy lying that she was getting lost in the quagmire of her own deception.
But she did owe him an answer. Lucas was kind enough to make sure she had a safe place to sleep and she couldn't ignore his question. "Things are just bad lately. My step-father is creepy and my mom is letting him control my life," she offered, hoping that would satiate the curiosity in his gentle blue eyes. She forgot about her family angst for a moment and just stared at him, realizing for the first time that he had his father's eyes.
Lucas pulled his plain desk chair closer to his bed and flipped it around so he could sit closer to her. "Have you talked to your mom about how uncomfortable he makes you?"
Her brow slightly furled, not sure if she could ever approach her mother about anything more superficial than face creams and clothes. "My mom is not really the talking type. She's not particularly interested in me or my life." The reality of her words hung in between them, even as Lucas reached out and gently took her hand.
"I know how you feel," he expressed, staring into her green eyes. "And those aren't just words that I'm saying to comfort you. I know how it feels to have your own parent walk by you on the street and look away to avoid seeing you. It's humiliating and painful and stokes the intense hatred you have for them." Luke's words were soft, a reflection of his own sad childhood. He'd spent much time putting up a façade that his father's callus disregard of him didn't hurt, didn't affect him at all. But it did. He wanted a father just like any other kid and to see the way Dan lavished attention on his other son made it even worse. But he was used to the way things were. He'd had 16 years to adapt to having an ass for a father. Lucas just didn't know how to deal with a father who wanted to be in life.
Brooke clenched his hand even tighter, knowing that she'd felt that same way most of her life. "She acts like I'm such an inconvenience to have around, when she's never home and I barely speak to her." She continued holding his hand, taking comfort in how strong and warm it was, how safe she felt around him. Brooke Davis had felt many emotions when she was alone with a guy, but safe wasn't one of them.
He sensed he wouldn't get any details out of her, so he slowly stood up and stretched, noting that it was nearly midnight and they had school tomorrow. "So you can take the bed, and I'll grab my sleeping bag and sleep on the floor," he explained, mentally wincing at how sore he'd be the next day from sleeping on his very hardwood floors. He couldn't risk sleeping on the couch though. His mom was already butting into his business too much as it was. He knew Karen would be instantly suspicious if he tried to sleep in another room.
She smiled at him, knowing that her voice was more than sultry enough. "We can share the same bed, Lucas. I don't bite, you know," she playfully said. It was always easier for Brooke to make her interactions with boys about sex rather than anything emotional. That way everyone got what they wanted and nobody got hurt. Brooke wasn't afraid of sex, not if she were the aggressor, but the idea of giving a guy anything more terrified her.
Ignoring her suggestive tone, Lucas glanced doubtfully at the twin bed. "I barely fit on there, so I don't know if it's big enough for two." He'd fallen asleep on that very bed with Haley before, but he wasn't sure if he could sleep next to Brooke without wanting to touch her, and that was something he promised himself that he'd hold off on.
Luke had listened to Brooke talk while they were on the pier and he could tell she had issues with her reputation as a slut. Even though she tried to laugh it off, he could see the pain masquerading behind a strong since of bravado. Luke wanted Broke to know that he liked her for herself and not just her overly hot body. And if that meant taking things slow, he could do it.
However, he could resist touching her much better if he weren't lying next to her. Lucas had fought the urge to kiss her for days, wanting to build on the great conversations they were having. But like he'd told her at the party, he wasn't a saint and his fantasies of her at night were growing increasingly x-rated.
Brooke smiled at him, noticing how he anxiously wiped his hands on his faded jeans. "We'll make it work out. I simply can't impose on you and then make you sleep on that hard floor," she argued, using her mom's best southern hospitality voice. He wordlessly nodded, not sure he trusted his voice enough to risk speaking.
"I would kind of like to change though," she casually mentioned, motioning toward her backpack. Earlier that night, she had slipped into her room at home and carelessly thrown some makeup and clothes for school the next day into her bag.
Lucas didn't want to send her to the bathroom and risk Karen seeing her, so he slowly turned around. "You'll have to do it here, is that okay?" he tentatively asked.
"Sure," she said, already digging into her backpack and pulling off her clothes. A few seconds later, he heard a catch in her voice and slowly turned around, his jaw dropping as he saw her standing there in a matching purple satin underwear set. Her eyes sparkled as they met his. "Apparently my pajamas didn't get packed." She'd be lucky if she remember to bring shoes for school tomorrow, as she'd put little thought into her manic packing. She was sure that Lucas wouldn't mind letting her borrow a shirt for the night.
She started to ask him about the clothes when she noticed how he was still staring at her, taking in her curves as if she were the only oasis in his dessert. Knowing that he wasn't used to seeing girls in their undies, Brooke tried to break the tension somewhat by covering her taunt abs with her arms. "Um, I might need to borrow a shirt or something…" she hesitantly began, kind of liking the look of lust in his eyes. While some men scared Brooke, Lucas' attention was more flattering than frightening.
"Huh?" he finally responded, moving his eyes away from her breasts and toward her lovely face. Lucas wasn't the least bit embarrassed that he'd been caught staring at Brooke's considerable assets.
Her eyes crinkled in amusement at his unabashed worship of her body. "A shirt to sleep in? Maybe a pair of sweats so I don't get cold?" she clarified, laughing at how his eyes still roved the curves of her body.
Luke absently nodded at her words, hearing them even if he was too preoccupied to process them. It's not like he'd never seen a girl nearly naked before. But there was something about Brooke that just made all rational thought leave his body.
"Are you thinking about kissing me?" she bluntly asked, her voice more sultry than she'd intended. Lucas moved slowly toward her, closing the distance that still separated them.
"Of all the things running through my head now, kissing is definitely on the list," he replied, knowing that there were a few other things above it on his to do list. Like touching…he reached out and gently pulled her small body against his, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist. She tilted her head to one side, actively encouraging his seeking, hungry lips. His touch was tender at first, but as he felt the softness of her mouth, the kiss grew deeper and more passionate. His hands drifted down her back and over her hip, taking in the softness of her skin and tightness of her curves.
They broke apart, each gasping for air. A lazy smile covered Brooke's face. "I was wondering how long it was going to take you to kiss me." She'd never had a guy wait so long to make the first move, and while she normal had no qualms about initiating sexual contact, something about Lucas made her want to go slow. She didn't want to scare him off by being overly aggressive.
He stared into her eyes, wondering what deep thoughts clouded the otherwise beautiful façade he saw. He knew she was upset about something that there were problems at home, but he couldn't figure out what made Brooke Davis tick. And that mystery intrigued him and made him want to know more about her.
Running an idle hand over her naked back, Lucas fought the urge to unsnap her bra. "You do things to me, Brooke Davis," he slowly began, kissing the tip of her nose quickly before he changed his mind. Before he could completely move away from her, her arms tightened behind his back and she pulled him back to her, finding his lips. Her hands raked over his shoulders, then sank lower to the hem of his shirt. Lucas moaned as her hands slipped under his shirt, roving and massaging his back.
Lucas slid his hands under her ass, picking up her light frame and moving her back a few steps until they were pushed up against his wall. Unable to resist, he ground his hips into hers, desperate for any relief or contact he could get. Brooke murmured her approval, shoving his shirt up his torso, even as they heard a floorboard squeak in the hallway outside his room. Her lips continued traveling down the side of his neck, sensing the wild throb of his carotid artery and his heavy breathing as she kissed her way down to his shoulder.
A knock at the door stopped her in mid motion, causing a startled Lucas to jump back from her. Both of their eyes traveled to the brass doorknob as it gently moved. Brooke's eyes grew wide, realizing they were in for some serious yelling until she realized that the knob wasn't turning. She glanced at Lucas, and smiled, grateful that he tended to lock his door. She'd never been one to lock her door, until that night… now she couldn't stand to be in her room unless the door was secured.
A light knock came from the massive wood door. "Lucas," Karen softly but firmly called out. "I want to talk to you for a moment." Luke's eyes shifted frantically from the nearly naked girl in front of him to the doorway in near panic. A sudden thought crossed his mind and he swiftly picked Brooke up and gently set her in his closet, closing the door without another word. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, forcing himself to slow his heavy breathing down. Grabbing his headphones, he made his way to the door and slowly opened it.
Karen smiled when she saw the headphones, wondering how much of her son's childhood had been spent with those things covering his ears. "I was wondering if you had gone to bed," she started, clearly uneasy with the state of affairs between them. She walked into his room and noted his open physics book on his desk. "Did you get enough studying done?" she questioned, realizing that he was mad enough to pull his patented silent treatment.
Shrugging his shoulders, Lucas stared at the floor. "Enough". He was furious at his mom for forcing him to hang out with Dan and Nathan. He didn't have anything nice to say, so he opted to remain silent and avoid getting grounded any longer.
She nodded in understanding. Lucas wasn't one to shift his opinions quickly. "I know you are upset with me, Lucas. But I want you to understand that this situation has eaten enough of your childhood away. I want to make it better for you," she tried to explain, even as he moved across the room to increase the distance between them.
Brooke looked around the dark closet, not seeing a lot through in the light that the cracks around the door frame let in. She listened to some of the conversation in the room, before getting frustrated and focusing on her hiding spot. Brooke moved her hands up and down the various items she found in the closet, careful not to knock anything over or make any noise. She passed the time guessing what sweatshirt or hoodie she touched, before growing bored and cold. Lucas definitely needed some more clothes, she critically thought. Unlike her own massive walk in closets, the boy had less than ten shirts hanging in his, with enough room left over to hide her, she mused. Her first order of business was buying him some clothes, she decided. A few more seconds passed before she decided shopping could be her second order of business. She was cold and her lack of clothing wasn't helping in that drafty, dark closet. She tentatively felt her way along the hanging items, until she felt something warm and fuzzy. His favorite grey hoodie. She smiled as she quietly slipped the garment off the hanger and over her head. She might have been stuck in a closet, but at least she was warm.
Lucas shrugged his shoulders at his mother's attempts at clarification. "I don't have anything more to say. You can force me to spend time with both of them, but you can't force me to like them." And Lucas didn't like them. He hated Dan now more than ever. He felt violated by the one person he should have trusted, used to trust with his life.
Karen leaned back against his desk, moving a few things out of her way. She looked down in confusion and held up a hot pink tank top with rhinestones around the neckline. She held it out toward Lucas in confusion. "Do you need to tell me something, son?"
Glancing at the closet, Lucas forced his attention back toward his mother. "Haley must of left that from our last movie weekend," he offered, managing to sound disinterested and guy like at the same time. Karen smiled at him in mock relief. "That's a good thing, I was beginning to worry about crossing dressing behavior," she explained, setting the tank top back on his desk. She frowned a second, realizing it was a bit flashy for Haley. But kids today wore all sorts of layers and more than likely Haley had worn it under three or four other shirts.
Shaking her head, Karen turned her thoughts back to more pressing issues. She realized she had to give him time to come to terms with his estranged family. She walked toward the door before turning back toward him for a final comment. "You are better than this, Lucas. You are better than ruining your academic future by getting suspended. I know you think I'm being harsh by forcing you to associate with Dan and Nathan, but I can't risk you getting thrown out of school," she softly said, before closing the door behind her. She paused outside, frowning as she heard the distinct click of a lock being reengaged. Since when had Lucas started locking her out of his life? She walked back toward her room, suddenly exhausted. She had to focus on the long-term benefits. Karen just hoped that Dan followed through for once, and that he held up his end of the bargain. For all their sakes.
Lucas listened carefully as his mother made her way back to her own bedroom. He yanked the closet door open and found Brooke leaning against the side of the small space. She grinned at him as she sauntered out into his room. "Just to clarify Lucas, tutor girl types don't wear hot pink tank tops with rhinestones," she commented, as she picked up her shirt and shoved it in her backpack. She felt his eyes on her as she moved around the room.
"I think I like my sweatshirt better on you than on me," he noted, watching the way the hem of the faded grey hoodie skimmed her tanned thighs. As sad as he was to see her wearing clothing, part of him was relieved that she was covered up. A guy could only handle so much temptation and a naked Brooke Davis and a bedroom were too much enticement. His eyes followed her as she gathered up bits and pieces of her clothing and stuffed them inside her pink backpack. She seemed almost…jittery for lack of a better word, he concluded.
Brooke finally stopped moving around the room, realizing that her restlessness was beyond obvious. She sank onto the edge of his bed and met his kind blue eyes with her own tentative ones. "I get antsy at night," she offered, not wishing to elaborate any more than necessary. Night had once been a refuge for Brooke, a time of quiet solitude where her parents were out with their various flings. She liked it when they were away on trips or out of the house because that meant there would be no screaming fights or shattered pottery to keep her awake into the early hours of morning.
Now night was more insidious, bringing malice and evil under the cloak of darkness. And Brooke hadn't slept well since that night. She'd found that deep sleep was a place where she couldn't hide the truth about that night, and images often invaded her dreams, leaving her awake and trembling more nights than not lately. After a few nights of no sleep, Brooke resorted to sneaking a few shots from the bar in their entertainment room. The hard liquor usually helped her sleep a few hours, abating the painful memories and agonizing paralysis that came with the nightmares. A few times she had even resorted to stealing a few of her mother's industrial strength Valium. Brooke had found there were only a few nightmares strong enough to override the affects of that little pill. But now it was more than memories and nightmares threatening her, it was the very tangible threat of her stepfather, lurking behind every door of her house. And all the booze and pills did was make her sluggish and non-responsive. Brooke had learned the hard way how hard it was to fight back when you were drunk. Still, every now and then she'd resort to the shots or Valium. Sleep was a precious commodity.
"Brooke?" Luke's voice interrupted her reverie, causing her to focus on the current time.
His eyes were creased in concern, knowing that something serious was going on.
Lucas sat next to her on the bed and put his arm around her, trying to offer her comfort. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you look tired. Are you sure there's nothing you want to talk about?" he gently questioned, knowing that when he was bad situation, he could always talk things out with his mom. Or least he used to be able to talk to her.
She abruptly looked up, as if she'd not processed a single word he'd said the last five minutes. "What?" she asked, looking confused a moment. She'd been drifting off lately, her mind wandering back to past events she couldn't stuff deep down in her brain anymore. "I'm just not sleeping well," she confided, hoping that would be enough of a hint to Lucas that she was finished talking for the night.
He slowly nodded, even as he took in the dark smudges under her beautiful eyes. He moved toward the head of the twin bed, pulling his shirt over his head as he went. She stared at his taunt abs, admiring the view. Lucas self-consciously looked at her a moment, before pulling the shirt back over his head. "I'll just sleep in my clothes tonight," he said, not wanting any more exposed skin than was absolutely necessary. She nodded at him shyly, suddenly timid about crawling in bed with him. They had such a great vibe going, and she was afraid that would shatter the moment he initiated sex. He settled back into the far side of the small bed, more between the wall and the edge of the bed than on the surface itself. He held the covers up and she scooted under them, instantly nestling up against his warm body.
A few minutes passed as they both tossed and turned, each trying to find a position in the impossibly small bed that wouldn't disturb the other. Lucas was doing his best to maintain at least a small amount of distance from her, but he found it impossible to accommodate his tall frame without bumping some body part against hers.
Sighing, Brooke reached over and touched what she assumed was his face. "Roll over on your side," she commanded, waiting until she felt the appropriate shift in the bed. She then rolled over the same direction and wiggled backward until she found his body. "Spooning 101," she clarified, feeling the tension in his body. Still silent, Lucas eventually took a deep breath and relaxed, wrapping one arm around her waist and placing the other under her head.
As she drifted off to sleep a final thought crossed her mind. She was at peace, for the first time in a long time. She felt safe in his arms.
Ahhhhhh. Doesn't everyone lurve Brucas?? Replies are loved and encouraged!! Thanks for reading.