Hi all! I am so infinitely sorry that it has been so long since I updated anything at all! (I know you're probably tired of hearing that every time I post something) But there are only two weeks of school left before winter break, so the past few weeks have been crazy busy, and the next couple will be even worse. That being said, I hope to get a lot of writing done over break, but I might not be able to post again until then.
All of that being said, please come talk to me about my stories! Also, I'd be very open to suggestions on what you all would want to see me write in the near future! I'd like to do something special for you all for Christmas, but I'm low on ideas, so anything you could throw my way would be helpful!
Hope you enjoy!
Rafael was entirely certain that his world was crashing down in around him. The absolute last thing he had wanted to happen was for his conversation with George to rip apart his family in the way he knew that it would. As they made their way to the library to get to the portal, Rafael felt as though all the breath had been sucked out of his lungs. He couldn't take a full breath, his chest was far too tight to allow for it. The only thing he was actually sure of at the moment was the fact that George being by his side was the only thing keeping him on his feet. His parabatai was really the only reason Rafael knew he was going to be able to walk through that portal and enter Idris with his head held high, the only reason that he could keep putting one foot in front of the other.
As they waited for his papa to finish his work on the portal, Rafael couldn't help but study the way his parents were interacting with one another. Almost suddenly, they'd become close again, as though the stress and pain of the day was uniting them. They seemed to be no longer trying to avoid one another, but that didn't mean that it fully erased the tension they were both feeling. But Rafael was ever so slightly relieved that they now seemed comfortable with one another. Rafael felt George's hand fall on his shoulder as he looked toward Max. His little brother was very eagerly talking to their grandfather about how excited he was to get the day over with so that their fathers could finally get married. Rafael couldn't help but clench his fists, the only thing he could do to keep from actually saying something to Max.
Rafael couldn't tell what hurt his heart the most about the situation. There was the fact that his grandfather was very clearly forcing himself to be kind to Max, or at least, it was clear to Rafael since he knew how Robert truly felt. But there was also the fact that Max was so oblivious to what was going on. Max was genuinely happy to see Robert, but Rafael quickly concluded that the worst part was how much hope and faith Max had in their situation. He seemed as though he was entirely convinced that their dads would begin planning their wedding in just a few short hours. Rafael only had to glance at each of his dads to know exactly how they were feeling about the situation as well.
Rafael assumed that his dad had yet to tell his papa of what he'd earlier overheard. But that was mostly because of the fact that his papa still felt comparatively comfortable around Robert. "Max, come here. Now," their dad said as he finished his part of helping their papa with the portal. There was no warmth in his voice, not like there usually was. There was no room for argument, and Rafael could very clearly see just how much it surprised both Max and Robert. Yet Max didn't argue, mostly because he seemed to understand that his father wasn't going to back down. The only thing that kept Rafael calm as he followed his family through the portal was the fact that he was entirely certain by the look on his dad exchanged with him that the last thing his dad wanted was to hurt Max by admitting to him what was going on with Robert. So Rafael took a deep breath and promised himself that he would stick by his little brother's side no matter what the day would bring.
Rafael sat down with his little brother on one side and his parabatai on the other, but that didn't seem to calm his nerves in any way. Mostly because he knew that their lives would change one way or the other by the end of the meeting, and Rafael already hated change on principle. Rafael couldn't help but clench his fists as Robert began the meeting. As the Inquisitor, Robert would conduct the meeting from start to finish, which didn't do anything at all to help him relax about any part of the situation. Max gave him a weird look but didn't move to ask for an explanation, and Rafael knew it was because he was far too nervous to speak up now that the meeting was in full swing. Not that Max would ever admit to being nervous.
The last thing Rafael truly wanted to do was to pay attention to what was happening in the meeting. He knew that the more he listened to it, the worse his thoughts would become, the more worried and anxious he would become, and the harder it would be to control himself. So instead of focusing on what his grandfather was saying or the reasoning some of the Clave members were giving for being for or against the change in law, Rafael simply focused on the people around him, studying their body language.
To someone who didn't know him very well, Rafael knew that Max would most likely appear to be the calmest of them all. Max had always been very good at hiding how he really felt, especially when he felt as though the rest of the family needed him to do so. It was easy for Rafael to see that Max certainly thought that their dads needed him to stay strong, so he was covering up how nervous he truly was, covering up the fact that the majority of things being said by the Clave members made him want to flinch away from them. Rafael slowly reached to place his hand over Max's, happy to feel his little brother relax ever so slightly.
Rafael couldn't help but smile when he realized just how intensely George was listening to the meeting. His parabatai was on the edge of his seat, his scowl deepening every time someone said anything against the change. George's eyes were narrowed, his posture and attention almost as if he was in battle. Had it been anyone else, the intensity might have scared Rafael, but he knew that George was simply an intense person; there was hardly a thing that George did that he wasn't so fiercely passionate about.
It hurt to do so, but Rafael forced himself to shift his attention to his parents, unable to keep from worrying about how the meeting was affecting them. He was happy to see, however, that they were actually holding hands, something Rafael was certain that he hadn't seen them do in months. They both looked as though they were leaning on the other for support, something that Rafael knew they both desperately needed at the moment. Yet when Rafael saw his dad visibly flinch and Max moved to squeeze his hand, Rafael was forced to begin paying attention to what his grandfather was currently saying.
Robert was clearly already beginning to wrap the meeting up, giving his final statements before allowing the rest of the Clave to vote on the matter, and what he was saying came as a complete shock to Rafael. Although the greatest problem was that after everything he'd heard, after everything Rafael had learned about Robert, he knew it shouldn't have been a surprise in the slightest. "To change this law would be to defile the names and honor of Shadowhunters forevermore," Robert said, looking directly at Alec and Magnus as he did so. "For centuries, the Law has placed Downworlders beneath us, and for very good reason."
Rafael tried to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat as he squeezed Max's hand back, but he knew it would be of no use. "To even suggest changing this marriage law means to raise to raise Downworlders up as equals, a despicable act that would only lead to the Clave's eventual downfall." Rafael had always secretly known how his grandfather felt about Downworlders, but he'd never really admitted it to himself until now. He'd lived most of his life ignoring what he'd heard from Robert, trying to forget that it had actually happened. Yet now that he could see the tears in Max's eyes, now that he once again heard what his grandfather was saying, Rafael knew there was no way he could ever move past it. "Is there anyone else who would like to speak before we put this matter to a vote?" Robert asked, his voice almost demanding that no one speak.
Before he really knew what he was doing, Rafael was on his feet. He couldn't stand the sight of those around him, those he knew were in favor of the the change, sitting by passively watching the meeting unfold. "I would," Rafael announced, refusing to look at his parents, knowing that they were both giving him looks that were likely full of both surprise and fear. Rafael gave Max's hand one final squeeze as he gently shoved George's hand away, his parabatai already anticipating the potential consequences of what he was about to do. But Rafael knew that he had to ignore the consequences and take them for what they were when they eventually came his way. So Rafael took a deep breath and plunged right in, knowing that that was the only option he had.
"You people call my parents heroes, and rightfully so," he began, his voice much steadier than he had expected it to be. "For years, you've celebrated them, both of them, as heroes of the Mortal and Dark Wars. For years, you've treated both of them as equals because it was convenient for you to do so." Rafael forced himself to look directly at Robert as he said this, knowing that he was mostly responding to what his grandfather has just said. "Yet as soon as they request that you actually begin to treating them as equals, you squirm in your seats because you never imagined that you'd have to do anything other than treat them like heroes once a year. You people treat them likes heroes because they saved the world multiple times, but these men are heroes for so much more than that."
Rafael risked a glance at his parents, but that was all he could take a the moment, their almost heartbroken expressions too much for him to bear. "Sitting before you today are two men who are finally fighting for their right to be treated as equals after years of selflessly fighting for others." Rafael resisted the urge to look back at Max, knowing that doing so would likely break his will. "Here are two men who not only fought to save the world, but fought to save two misfit children who had absolutely nowhere else to go. You see war heroes, but my little brother and I see two men who laid down their own lives to give us the lives they felt we deserved. My dad has spent years trying to learn Spanish despite the fact that he's inherently terribly at it, simply because he knows what it would mean to me. My papa spent over ten years of Max's life glamouring my little brother because Max didn't have the power to do it himself yet, simply because he knew what it meant to Max."
Rafael almost felt as though he was running out of courage, as though he was beginning to be weighed down by the thought of what he was actually doing, But then he glanced at his Uncle Jace and found the encouragement he needed in his uncle's look of pride. "What they're asking for today is simple acknowledgement of the fact that the Clave has been treating them as heroes and equals for years. They're asking for an acknowledgement of the fact that the Clave treats Downworlders like equals when it's convenient for them, like they do every single time the Accords comes into play."
As Rafael began to finish his speech, wondering how it had actually turned into a speech, he allowed himself to look back at his parents once more. "If you'd like to acknowledge the fact that my dads are heroes, stop throwing parties for them and start doing something that actually matters, something that will actually better their lives and the lives of all the other unrecognized heroes who deserve the recognition just as much as my parents do." With that, Rafael sat down, holding back a smile when both George and Max immediately placed their hands on his arms, both of them trying to comfort him despite the fact that they likely knew he couldn't be comforted.
Once again, Rafael took his mind off of the meeting as his grandfather stood up once more, refusing to think about what he'd just done. In the moment, it had seemed like the best idea possible. But now that he was out of the moment, Rafael was already beginning to overthink it. Of course, he knew that he overthought the majority of things in his life as a general rule. So Rafael gladly followed his parents out of the room as the Clave asked for time to deliberate and vote, his nervousness increasing by the second, but mostly because he was more anxious to see how his parents were going to react to what he just did than he was over anything else.