Thanks to Brucas Equal Love for reminding me to post an update.

A Season in Purgatory
Chapter 28

Lucas waited in front of the massive red door, hoping that Brooke would eventually answer. He'd been there nearly five minutes and was growing more concerned and impatient by the moment. Intent on finding some way up to her second floor room, he stood back and studied the portico's columns, nearly jumping off the porch when the door
finally flew open.

A dark haired lady with a sweeper in one hand and an apron in the other looked at Lucas quizzically. "Are you here to close the pool down for the winter?" she asked in a
crisp, efficient voice. Lucas frowned wondering if he really dressed so badly that everyone in this house thought he was a laborer.

"No, I'd like to speak to Brooke," he said, co-opting his most polite tone. All he needed was another person in this house pissed at him, he thought.

The woman ushered him into the large marble foray. "She's in the pool house," the woman said, seemingly uninterested in why neither teen was in school. She motioned toward a door in the back of the massive entryway. "Take that door through the conservatory and go out across the yard." He nodded his thanks but the woman was off with her sweeper, intent on polishing the marble floor to a brilliant shine.

He meandered through some hallways and finally found the conservatory. He stopped for a moment and let out a low whistle of appreciation. The room had ceilings that seemed to be two stories high and was encased in glass. There were various plants and flowers scattered about and a massive baby grand piano dominated the far end of the massive room. For the first time the difference in his and Brooke's social class really hit Lucas. He knew she was rich but this was rich on a different scale than most of Tree Hill's upper class. Dan and Nathan had money. But not even their dominating mcmansion could compete with Brooke's monster estate.

He took a final look around the room before heading out the French door that led to the gardens outside. Lucas followed a winding path, eventually coming to stand in front of a medium sized structure that mimicked the big houses' architecture. Raising his hand to the red door, he knocked authoritatively, attempting to hide his uncertainty about the last time he and Brooke were together. Deep inside, Lucas was afraid that her mother had convinced her to stop seeing him. It had always been that way for Lucas. He'd been uninvited to birthday parties in grade school by parents who didn't want their kids associating with his "kind". In high school the problem was with girls who wanted to date him but were afraid to introduce him to their parents.

He'd had enough of being judged and rejected for the status of his birth. And Lucas was sick of sneaking around because girls were afraid their parents would find out about him. He needed to be accepted by someone...anyone that wasn't his mother or his life long best friend. If Brooke couldn't give him that acceptance, then he could live with it. But he couldn't bear lying about dating the girl so she could avoid disappointing her mother.

The door suddenly opened, startling Lucas out of his contemplations. Brooke slowly exhaled, seeing that it wasn't her mother or step father. She leaned against the door and waited for him to say something. Even after spending all night working on what to say to Lucas, she found herself unable to speak. How did one go about apologizing for a bitchy mother? Brooke knew that Lucas held his mother in the highest esteem...and even with all the Dan drama that was affecting his relationship with Karen, she knew that Lucas wouldn't want anyone insulting his mother.

Luke took in her frazzled appearance. This was definitely a side of Brooke Davis that he'd not seen before. Her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail on top of her head and her body was clothed in a Raven's sweatshirt that was 4 sizes too large on her tiny frame. She looked...fragile. "I wanted to stop by and check on you after last night. Nate said you weren't doing very well," he began, unsure if she was mad at him for his rude comments the night before.

She sighed, which emphasized the dark smudges under her hazel eyes. "You and Nate are now ganging up on me?" she quietly asked, not sure if she was touched that they'd put their differences aside over her or if she was annoyed that they were discussing her.

"Can I come inside?" he gently asked, not wanting to do this in front of the gardener who was pruning the bushes beside the pool. She hesitated for only a second and stepped back to allow him inside the pool house. Lucas walked in and looked around the room. It wasn't as stiff and formal as the main house but it was still nice enough to be in some decorating magazine.

They sat down on a soft leather couch in the center of the room. Brooke folded herself into the corner of the furniture, as if seeking refuge from the world around her. Lucas stared at the hardwood floor in front of him for a moment, appearing sadder than she could remember since the night they got drunk on the pier at Dan's beach house.

"I'm sorry if I caused problems for you with your mother last night," he softly began, not caring if he insulted the overbearing woman, but not wanting to cause Brooke any more family problems than she already had. "She just hit some raw nerves with me."

Brooke snorted at his overly kind words. "She was being a monumental bitch to you and I told her that," she revealed, sad to hear the tone of Luke's voice. He was so used to being treated badly by people in Dan's group that he was actually apologizing for his reaction. "You had every right to be mad and to say what you said to her."

He softly shook his head. "I was rude to an adult in her own house. My mother will kill me if she finds out what I said." Karen was no nonsense when it came to manners and even if she hated Katherine's words, she'd hate Luke's behavior even more. It was the same thing with Dan. She ignored how much the man had hurt him and focused on Luke's reaction to being forced to talk to him. It was a no win battle that he was getting tired of waging.

Brooke reached out and grabbed his hand, happy at simple contact with someone she trusted. "I gave her hell for what she said, but she's not going to change her mind about us. She's a snob, Luke. She always has been and she always will be."

"What does that mean for us?" he asked, almost afraid of her answer "I just want to let you know right now, I'm not going to sneak around." She was caught off guard by his defiant tone.

"Of course we aren't going to sneak around," Brooke reassured him. That was the last thing that had crossed her mind. She wanted to be free to hang out with Lucas and not hide their relationship like they had something to be embarrassed about. "I told her I wasn't going to that stupid dance and that I wasn't going to break up with you."

A look of relief crossed his face, and Luke let out the breath he'd been unconsciously holding. "I'm glad. I'm sick of hiding from people in this town because of Dan. I can't do that anymore," he admitted, letting her see the toll it had taken on him just to get through day.

Brooke leaned over and hugged him, knowing that she was not the only one with huge problems to work through. If there was anyone in town who could understand her family woes, it was Lucas and Nathan. "Speaking of family, did Nathan tell you about last night?" she asked, slightly stunned that any topic could make the two brothers drop their barriers and talk.

Lucas leaned back into the couch, trying not to wince at the memory of taking Nathan's help. "Yeah, I spent all day hanging out at your locker and he finally told me what happened last night. You want to elaborate on the pills and booze discussion?" His tone was kind but intent and Brooke knew it was going to be hard to deflect his curiosity this time.

Her chin dropped a bit in embarrassment. "It's not a big deal. My parents started bitching about the big dance and I needed a break," she lamely recounted, knowing that she was leaving out the most important part of the story. Brooke had no idea how to tell anyone about that night. At this point she'd have to settle for finding out a way to tell him that her parents wanted J.J. to take her to the cotillion.

Luke considered her words. "We all need that break sometimes, Brooke. I've been drinking more than normal because of the pressure. However, the drugs and the pills aren't a good thing," he finished, watching as she sank even lower into the couch. He lifted her chin. "I'm not lecturing you, but I am worried. So is Nathan. We just want to know what's going on."

"I can't get into the details of it, Luke" she offered her voice shaking a bit. How did you explain to a guy what it was like to be held down and forced to do things? She had a hard time explaining that night to herself on a good day. It was a complication her mind couldn't work out, especially in light of how drunk she'd been. Maybe she'd done something that had encouraged his actions that night. Maybe she hadn't resisted enough.

He watched her for a moment, seeing the fear that Nathan had described earlier in the day. A fear he'd not seen in her before. Or maybe he simply hadn't been looking for it in the party girl facade she presented to the world. "Something's got you scared, Brooke. Scared enough that you are afraid to be alone at night in your own house," he appraised, noticing that she wouldn't meet his eyes. "Brooke, you can trust me."

Her heart lurched at the honesty and sincerity in she heard in his voice. Karen had raised her boy well enough, Brooke thought, knowing that there was a purity about him that was well earned in his St. Lucas nickname. She looked up at him and gazed into his blue eyes. "It's not a question of trust, Lucas. There are some things that I just can't talk about right now. Things that are painful and confusing to me."

The pain in her voice was a stark contrast to the tired girl who sat next to him. She looked worn out and lost, yet the pain in her voice was passionate and strong. "I don't want to push you, Brooke. But it hurts that you can't tell me," he stressed, wanting her to have faith in him, like he had faith in her.

Sighing, Brooke drew her knees up under the huge sweatshirt she wore, seemingly shrinking in size right before his eyes. She dragged a much too long sleeve over her eyes and forced herself to breathe. "It's not a matter of trust, Luke. It's about something that I need to understand before I can tell others about it." She looked up at him, hopeful that he could understand the chasm she precariously stood on.

"If I pushed you to tell someone how you felt about Dan, could you do it justice?" she asked, putting him on the defensive. "I mean, you could tell them he's a low life, dead beat dad, but could you really explain what his benign neglect has done to your soul over the years?"

Luke leaned back against the sofa cushion and thought about her words. It was nearly impossible to explain all the feelings that had built up in him over the years… that he wasn't good enough for anyone, that he was incapable of being loved by a father, that there was something fundamentally wrong with him that repulsed everyone but his mother. The feeling of inadequacy had been his constant companion since he was a boy and had only grown, not abated, through the years. Lucas didn't know any other way to face the world and yet the idea of losing that scared him more than trying to have a relationship with his other family. Rejection was the only thing he knew and understood. Anything else was foreign and suspect to his soul.

Sighing, he looked over at Brooke and nodded. "I can understand that it's impossible to explain some feelings, especially when your families are as messed up as ours," he conceded, getting the point that some situations were impossible to articulate. "But you're going to have to talk about it someday." He'd pushed all he could and knew when he was being stonewalled. Brooke wasn't one to be pushed around easily.

A slow, sensuous smile crossed her face, knowing she'd won this round. She quickly moved back to where he sat in the center of the couch and curled into his side. Her hand slid across his flannel covered chest allowing her to take in the firm pectoral muscles that lay beneath. She felt his breath catch a moment as he leaned down and nuzzled her neck. "Why are we not naked right now?" he asked, letting his hands slide over her amazing curves.

Brooke answered with a searing kiss for a moment before pulling away. "Because you wanted to take things slow, remember?" she asked, jumping as she felt his hands move under her large sweatshirt, coming to rest on the small of her back. He sighed into her soft hair for a moment and then pulled away. He needed to take things slow so that neither of them got hurt by reckless mistakes.

He looked over at where she sat with disappointment clearly etched on her face. She'd never had a guy that made her wait this long before and it made Brooke very nervous. She wasn't sure if she could keep a guy interested without sex. Or at least that was her mother's estimation of Brooke's potential.

Luke gently kissed her on her forehead and forced himself to remember what sex led to. "I just want to be realistic, Brooke. I'm sure my mom didn't think having sex in high school would mess up her life so much. And I don't want to be responsible for screwing your life up like Dan did my mom's."

Brooke was constantly amazed at how Dan could have such a huge and negative impact on his son's life when he'd never really been around him. It's like the only thing he had from the man were bad memories and a hard life. She looked up at him, lost in thought. "I guess that they had a ton of chemistry back in the day," she mused, knowing that there was more to the story than Luke knew. She'd seen the two together a few times and the sparks were not dead. They were more like embers that were waiting to be stoked. Brooke could only imagine what that image would do to Lucas.

He paused a moment, having never voiced some of these thoughts out loud before. "I guess that nothing good can come out of being created from hate," he said, trying not to sound overly upset. His mere existence had complicated the lives of so many people in Tree Hill. Dan had actively harassed his mother to get an abortion and his mother had lost all her dreams and aspirations just to raise him.

Brooke looked at him in surprise. "I don't think you were created out of hate, Luke. When I see Dan and Karen talking alone, that's not hate. It may be messy and unhappy, but it's not hate. I think you were created in love and all that kind of got lost in the chaos that followed."

His shoulders slumped a bit. "I don't understand how you could love someone that much and then throw her away without a second thought. It's easier for me to think that he used her for sex rather than he loved her and dissed us both despite it."

"I can see them having sex. Hell, Dan's hot enough to have a lot of sex," she commented, ignoring the grossed out look he gave her.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww," he yelled, putting his hands over his ears. "I just can't see my mother ever having sex with the sleazebag." In many ways, Lucas was lucky that he'd lived most of his life without having to see Dan and Karen together. It wasn't a thought that helped him sleep at night.

"My parents never had sex," Brooke confidently said, looking over at him as he pulled away in surprise. "What?"

He smiled down at her. "Were you adopted? Cause your parents had to have sex in order for you to be here." His tone was completely patronizing but his eyes were happier than she'd seen them in a long time.

"No, they never had sex. My theory is that they were running around the bedroom naked one night and accidentally fell on top of each other. That's the only explanation I can come up with to explain my existence, because I've never seen them have a pleasant conversation, so sex is clearly not an option."

Lucas thought about her words and shrugged. "Well, thank god we never have to see either set of parents canoodling together. I think that could be a perfectly good reason for suicide," he commented offhandedly.

Brooke sighed and looked at the clock. "We still have a while before lunch is over. Want to do shots before 4th period?" she hopefully asked, wanting to avoid reality for just a bit longer.

He laughed for a second and then reluctantly pulled her to her feet. It was going to be a rough few months, but he felt better just talking to her. It was like the dysfunction in their life gave them a stronger bond, one that a person from a normal family couldn't understand or appreciate. Despite the Dan issue and the problems with Brooke's family, they'd be okay. Eventually.

Thanks for reading, as always. Reviews are appreciated and inspiring.