A Season in Purgatory
Chapter 32

Nate tossed the last crust on the now empty pizza box and leaned back against the beat up couch in Keith's office. They'd spent over an hour together and Nate was nearly overwhelmed by the amount of information he'd gleaned from his uncle. "So did my mom like staying at home or did she want to work?" he asked picking up on the last few years of his mom's life. All he knew was that she'd gone back to work once he was in school.

Keith got lost in thought for a moment, wondering how to answer some of these questions. He didn't want to tell Nate things he wasn't sure about, but it was hard to explain her kind nature and optimistic spirit in mere words. "I think she wanted to have a sense of accomplishment," he guessed, knowing that Deb wasn't truly happy being a stay at home mom.

"She moved here when she was very young, Nate. Deb didn't know a single person in town and in some ways, I think she was lonely," Keith said, watching his nephew's response carefully. He didn't want to tell the boy that he'd always suspected that Dan wanted Deb at home and away from any possible chance of running into Karen. His younger brother had always been a control freak and Keith suspected that by keeping Deb home, Dan had hoped to keep the truth of Lucas from his new wife.

Nathan looked up at his earnestly, looking much younger than his years. "Was she happy here?" he asked. He could barely remember most of the mundane day to day aspects of his life with his mother. But he did recall a lot of fights between his parents.

Keith dropped the last crust onto the box and leaned back in his old, squeaky office chair. "I think she loved you more than life, Nate. She loved being your mother and she was so proud of you," he said, underscoring the most important thing about Deb he could remember. "She would be so proud of you."

"Do you think she wanted another baby?" he questioned, guessing from some arguments he'd overheard as a kid that his mom wasn't the driving force behind conceiving Daniel.

Keith considered the question, not sure how to answer the question. He finally looked up and met Nate's eyes. "I think she wanted to have a career and accomplish some things outside of the home. You were already in school and I think she was ready to move on with her life," he stated. "But I do know that she was happy toward the end of her pregnancy. She didn't regret the pregnancy."

Relieved, Nate slowly exhaled. "I was afraid that she died because Dad pushed her into having another baby that she didn't even want." He looked at the wall to avoid his uncle's sympathetic gaze. "I think she'd be alive today if it weren't for dad." There. He'd finally said what he'd secretly feared for most of his life. That his Dad's insistence on another kid had ended up killing his mother.

Keith's throat tightened at the angst in the boy's voice. "Nate, it was an accident. You're mom just had a difficult labor that not even the doctor's predicted. She'd had problems for a few months, but no one thought it was that serious," he explained. "Some pregnancies just aren't meant to be." It was a simplistic explanation, but true.

He wiped a tear away from his check, embarrassed that he had such a lack of control on his emotion. "I just see Dad bullying her about getting pregnant like he rides me about basketball. I didn't want to go through life thinking she was pushed around by him," he finished, feeling better just talking about his mom. He had to know the truth though. "Do you think my mom was just a replacement for Karen?"

The question shocked Keith. He knew that Dan and Karen had a complicated history that had to confuse their children. But he also knew that on some level, they still had feelings for one another.

"I think love is really complicated, Nate. Your Dad dated Karen a longtime," Keith replied, knowing that it was difficult subject for everyone involved to discuss. "But I think he loved your mom in her own way and not as a replacement for Karen."

Nathan shifted his feet, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "You should see them together during dinner, Keith. They don't look like two people who hate each other," he confided.

"I have to agree with you on that one, Kiddo," Keith admitted. He just hoped that Lucas didn't see what his little brother saw all too clearly. He glanced at the wall on the clock, noting that it was much later than he'd thought.

"You need to get home to your woman," Nate joked, trying to bring some levity into the overly serious room. He stood up and began throwing away the remnants of their dinner. Keith reached out and grabbed his shoulder, stopping him in mid motion. "Nate, I want you to know you can always come and see me if you want to talk about your mom. Or anything else for that matter," he said, wanting to give his nephew the same attention he'd given Lucas over the years.

Smiling, Nate nodded his head. "I'd like that, Keith." He felt a sense of peace that he'd not known in years. It wasn't about remembering his mom's favorite color or if she liked sushi or not. He was happy just knowing that his mother had led a happy, if not perfect life.

Lucas stood uncomfortably in the threshold of the exclusive men's store, acutely aware he was the only person not in a suit. He'd expected to get dragged to the mall but he'd been shocked when Dan's gas guzzling SUV had stopped in front of the most expensive store in Tree Hill.

Dan put a hand on his shoulder and propelled him through the store, pointedly ignoring the disdainful glances his scruffy looking son was receiving from the staff. Lucas shrugged Dan's hand off his shoulder, still pissed that his mother did this to him. He stared at the floor, intensely uncomfortable both with the store and Dan.

"Mr. Scott," a voice called out, practically jogging to where they stood. "What can we do for you today?" The store manager asked, giving the boy next to him only a parting glance. Mr. Scott was a long standing customer who'd spent a small fortune in the store over the years. He was always a customer that received special attention from the store staff.

Dan smiled at the man and gestured toward the suits that lined the walls around them. "My son needs a suit for a wedding this weekend." He noticed that Lucas frowned at his use of the word 'son', but that didn't stop him. He was determined that he would handle this excursion just like he would if it were Nate and not Lucas with him.

The manager walked around Lucas somewhat disdainfully, taking in the boy's ragged jeans and hoodie. "Did you have anything in mind for him, Mr. Scott?" the man asked, knowing that his favorite customer always had firm ideas about what cuts and fabrics he wanted in his own suits.

Dan took a good look at Lucas, who remained silent and was focused on gnawing on a cuticle. "I'd say any good fabric with a double breasted jacket," he surmised, his words sending staff flying in every direction.

Lucas finally looked up and raised his eyebrows at Dan. "Double breasted?" He wasn't exactly familiar with clothes that had cuts, styles, and fabric swatches.

Dan took a seat in one of the fine leather end chairs they provided for the customers to relax in. "I can't wear double breasted jackets because they make me look too broad across the chest. You, however, are very lean, so a double breasted jacket is both flattering and will make you look less skinny." Dan often wondered if the boy ever ate anything. Lucas rarely touched his food during their Monday night dinners, leaving Dan to worry if he had an eating disorder of some sort. Nobody in the Scott family had that good of a metabolism, though Lucas could have inherited that genetic factor from his mother.

Lucas sank down into one of the other chairs with a frown on his face. He wasn't skinny; he just wasn't built like a tank like Dan. And he certainly didn't give a damn if he had a jacket that made him look like a linebacker. "Whatever," he distractedly replied, not willing to get grounded for bitching at Dan about clothes.

Waving over a staffer, Dan motioned toward the backroom. "I'd like some coffee while I wait. Lucas would you like something?" he congenial asked, knowing that these fittings could take a while.

Giving the older man a look of disgust, he slowly shook his head and focused his attention on the hardwood floor in front of him. 2 hours later, he was slumped even further in the chair, having been poked and prodded and tailored to death. He was finally back in his own clothes as Dan made arrangements to pick up the suit that Friday. The manager had huffed a bit over the short time to get the suit completely altered, but Dan had thrown his weight around until the manager was practically bowing at his feet.

Lucas just wanted to go home. Not even the idea of a really cool suit made spending time with Dan attractive. He paused for a moment, staring at a navy blue jacket near the edge of the suit department. Dan walked up behind him and motioned toward the sales clerk. "Do you have this in his size?" he asked, thinking that the jacket would be a nice addition to the kid's wardrobe. "Go ahead and toss that into the order," he said, overriding Luke's objections.

Lucas realized it was a lost battle. Dan was out to show Lucas that he could order everyone around and spend money at an outrageous rate. He flipped the tag over and about died of shock. "300.00 dollars for a jacket!" he exclaimed out loud, causing Dan to look over his shoulder at the garment.

"Its cashmere," he explained, pleased that Lucas had some kind of latent taste. "It's a great jacket that will last you for years." Lucas moved away from him, trying to create distance between them, which was kind of ironic since he'd spent most of his life trying to get closer to his father.

"You know, first impressions are very important. You could stand to dress a bit better in order to get noticed," Dan suggested in all his used car salesman sleaze. He didn't understand why the boy couldn't find a nice pair of shoes or wear more structured clothes.

Luke's eyes widened at that comment, as it was an open invitation. "You know what I remember about back to school shopping when I was 12?" he causally asked, not waiting for Dan to respond. "I had to get my stuff from Good Will because my mom didn't have enough money to buy me new clothes."

Dan face softened, losing some of his cockiness at his son's words. "That must have been really difficult for you, considering peer pressure these days." He felt badly now, having criticized the boy for dressing the way his mother could afford. And the entire time he'd been across town, buying Nathan every NBA branded piece of clothing ever made. No wonder Lucas had told Dan he hated him earlier that night.

"I don't care what people think about the way I dress. I have better things to do with my time than worry about appearances. Unlike you," he added, letting Dan know that his son thought he was a superficial prick. "So next time you feel the urge to bitch about my clothes, why don't you think about all the years you didn't buy them for me, and then shut up."

Dan's throat constricted as a rare vulnerable expression crossed his face. He could hear the outright hatred in his son's voice and he was beginning to realize that there were some wounds he might not be able to heal. "You're right, son. I should have helped your mother provide the basic necessities for you. But I'm here now, and I'm trying," he argued, wanting Lucas to see that he had good intentions.

Lucas shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes. "You're 16 years too late. I don't care now." It was the simple truth. While he'd needed a father years ago, Lucas just wanted to move on. It had taken too much energy out of his short life thus far.

They stood around a few moments, watching as sales people grabbed the cashmere coat off the rack and covered it in plastic for the trip home.

"Wait until my mother sees the bill you're wracking up," Lucas replied, knowing that Dan was spending more on clothes this little trip than he and Karen normally spent in a year. The suit Dan picked out for Lucas didn't even have a price on it, which told Lucas it was totally out of his mother's price range. Nothing upset Karen more than having to use a charge card for non necessities.

Dan shrugged his son's comments off. He and Karen hadn't really discussed who was paying for what and so he justified the spending as part of the normal upkeep of having a child. "She'll have to wait to get the bill at the end of the month since it's all going on my account." He'd made sure that the suit could be let out as Lucas grew and it was a great investment. "Besides, your mom wants you to look nice for the wedding," he argued, sensing that that was Luke's weak point.

Something on the other side of the small store caught his eye and he pulled Lucas over to a display of shoes. "I'm guessing your dress shoes are too small, as well?" he questioned.

"The good thing about men's dress shoes is that you don't have much of a choice," Dan began, pointing out the various styles available. Lucas had barely participated in the selection of the suit, only picking one after Dan had narrowed down the selection of fabrics and styles to three.

Lucas picked out shoes quickly, leaving Dan standing around staring at the limited athletic shoes that the store stocked. "Oh, wow, they've got the new Jordan's in," he said to Lucas, watching as the boy came over and grinned at the high tech shoe. "Those are definitely sweet," Lucas replied, fully addressing Dan for the first time that night.

Waving a salesperson over, Dan pointed to the shoes. "We'll take two pairs of these, as well." He knew they had his size on file and were already working on getting Luke's dress shoes ready.

Lucas frowned in response. "Those shoes are nearly 200.00 a pair." Dan waved off his protest. "Just admit you want the shoes. I want them too. You'll look great practicing in those, so stop protesting."

"You aren't going to listen to me anyway, right?" he asked, watching as Dan nodded in agreement.

Dan leaned against a floor display, anxious to get moving before his son went ballistic. "I'm buying them, so you can sell them on eBay for all I care." It was settled just like that and they were back at the Café within twenty minutes. Lucas dumped the new shoes at Karen's feet and stormed off toward the kitchen, intent on getting away from Dan.

Karen shoved a piece of hair behind her ear and watched as Dan moved behind the counter and poured them both a cup of coffee. With all the caffeine he'd consumed the past few hours he knew he wasn't going to get any sleep that night. "Should I ask if he got anything to wear or if you two just stomped around a store for two hours?" She relished the small break this presented her, as her feet were aching after a long dinner rush. What ever the reason, business at the Café was definitely growing. Eventually, Karen was going to have to hire more people to help carry the load.

Dan put his cup down and smiled at her in a way that recalled the young man she fell in love with. "We got a suit, a posh jacket and two pairs of shoes." Karen's eyes lit up with surprise.

"That almost sounds like shopping," she concluded, wondering what Dan had done to get him to willingly go along with a pursuit their son normally deemed useless.

He sat down in the chair across from her and pointed to the bags abandoned by the counter. "The shoes are in the bags and the suit and jacket can be picked up Friday morning. He's not very happy with me, but we got the job done."

Karen smiled at him, grateful for his help on this task. "Just make sure I have a copy of the bill so I can pay you back. I meant to send Lucas with some money, but it totally slipped my mind."

"Why don't we just call this one mine, Karen? I've never had the pleasure of getting him back to school clothes or any other kind of outfits, so why not let me cover this one?" he asked, with a kind look in his blue eyes.

Karen watched him for a second and frowned, realizing what her ex had probably done. "Dan Scott, you took him to an expensive store and spent a fortune on him, didn't you?" She'd always been able to read him since they were kids. It was a very Dan thing to do, but she found her heart melting a bit toward him for making sure her son was ready for the wedding.

Dan smiled again. "I got him a nice suit from a nice store that he'll be able to wear for years to a variety of events," he proudly stated, pleased that he'd gotten the boy some functional clothes.

Karen smiled at his tactics. "And we will be going over this bill at some point so that I can pay part of my share," she insisted, only receiving his smirk smile back as a response.

She craned around Dan's large shoulders and watched as Lucas helped himself to some food in the kitchen. Even from that distance she could tell her son was pissed. She looked at Dan. "What are we going to do about Roy and May?" She had avoiding talking about them, but time was running out.

Dan shifted uneasily in his chair. The Café was nearly empty at this point, so they might as well get it over with. "I say he's already mad, so let's go for it. Maybe by the wedding, he'll be too tired from being angry that he'll actually be nice to them."

Lucas walked out into the dining room, carrying a glass of ice water and a plate of food. His vision landed on them, sequestered at a back table and he immediately walked in the other direction.

"Lucas, can you come over here please?" Karen called out, getting a scowl for her effort. Lucas stalked over to where they were, feeding himself from the plate he still carried. "What?" he asked, with just enough civility to avoid getting bitch slapped by his mom.

She pointed to the chair at the table and said, "Sit, please." He hesitantly sat down, dropping his plate with a bang in front of him. Dan watched in fascination, wondering where she got that imperious parental tone. Nathan rarely jumped when Dan told him to do something.

"What is?" he asked, realizing that they were getting ready to drop a giant bomb on him. His shoulders were already defensively hunched, ready for the bad news to take him on like a hockey player desperate to score.

Karen smiled at Dan and then turned toward Lucas. "Son, there are going to be a lot of people in town for the wedding. And some of them really want to meet you," she slowly explained, not wanting her son to choke on his food.

Lucas dropped his fork and looked at her expectantly. They were getting ready to blindside him with a major revelation, he could tell by the way Karen was crafting her words. "Don't play with me, mom. What's going on?" he warily asked, shoving his plate of lasagna away from him in disgust. He pointedly ignored Dan's existence.

She dropped the soothing mom tone and went straight for the kill. "Dan's parents are going to the wedding and they want to meet you." Silence descended over the room. Lucas stared at the plate in front of him, lost in thought. He'd never had a grandparent before. Karen's parents had welcomed him into the world by throwing her out of the house. They had both died when he was a toddler, leaving a void they'd never really filled in the first place. Dan's parents had just ignored him altogether. At least Karen's parents had hated him honestly, he bitterly thought. Dan's parents just stayed out of the picture, never getting involved. He wasn't sure which rejection was worse.

Dan watched uncomfortably as Lucas silently stared off into space. He glanced over at Karen before reaching out and trying to gain Luke's attention. "They would both like to meet you before the wedding, if that's possible," Dan requested. Roy had thought it would be "awkward" to meet Lucas for the first time during the wedding and wanted a brief introduction the day before.

Finally breaking his silence, Lucas looked at his father and said, "Too bad. I don't want to want to meet them." What was it with this family that thought they could treat him like trash for the first 16 years of his life and then expect full participation from him once they decided he was good enough to be 'family'? Karen and Dan both looked shocked at his words so he continued. "None of you have the right to walk into my life and demand things. Not you and sure as hell not some absentee grandparents who had better things to do for the last 16 years." He stood up and pushed away from the table and started to walk away when Karen's voice stopped him.

"Lucas, there are a lot of things that happened in the past that we are trying to fix. They just want to be formally introduced to you. I think you can try to be nice for a few minutes and talk to them." She watched as Lucas slowly turned around, his eyes dangerously dark and stormy.

"Why? It's not like they ever gave me a few minutes," he softly replied, worn out by the entire idea of meeting anymore of Dan's DNA pool. He was just tired of the entire Scott family at this point.

"Lucas, it's not their fault that they were never around. I told them to stay away from you and Karen, so if you are going to be mad at anyone, you should be mad at me," he firmly stated, knowing that his parents didn't deserve any of the boy's hatred about this situation.

Luke turned toward Dan. "Oh trust me, you are number one on my hate list. But they had every chance to call me or get in touch and they didn't do it. I don't need conditional relationships in my life," he stated firmly, not caring if his mother got mad or not. "You can ground me all you want to, but this isn't working. You can't force me to like these people," he said, his voice dripping with anger and resentment.

Karen took a step back, grateful that the Café wasn't full of people. "Lucas, we've talked about forgiveness before. You need to let people make mistakes in life," she started, before being cut off by her son.

"You can forgive them, mom. I'm just apathetic. I'm not asking for anything other than to be left alone. And if you don't like that, then ground me," he said, before walking out the door. Lucas could only take so much of this and he'd put up with Dan with little to no complaint. His mother wasn't being fair to him by forcing him into situations with Dan and his family.

Karen watched her son march off in the direction of their house, sadness in her eyes. He was so affected by the years of abandonment by Dan. She understood that, but she worried that he'd carry that resentment and anger into the later stages of life if he didn't deal with it soon. She didn't want his future children to be affected by unresolved issues with Dan.

"That went well," Dan dryly commented, sad that his parents were going to get smacked around by the boy's misplaced anger. He could take Luke's antagonism, because he totally deserved it for the way he'd treated Karen and his son. But his parents didn't deserve to get beat up over his past decisions.

Karen sat back down, tears welling in her eyes. "This is my fault. I've let my anger toward you infect our son over the past years. He's just so angry about everything lately," she said, knowing that she had to find a way to get that anger out of her son before he blew up. A small part of Karen also wanted absolution for her own past sins. She'd played a large role in keeping Dan away from their son and she knew reconciliation between father and son would grant her some peace, as well.

Dan grabbed her hand and held it in support. "We'll get there, Karen. I'll tell Roy and May that he's a bit upset and they should just introduce themselves after the ceremony. We'll start small and work our way up to the big events," he calmly stated, not sure if he believed his own words. Lucas was such a volatile spirit for someone so quiet. It reminded him of the proverb 'still waters run deep'.

She sniffled in his general direction and nodded. "He just needs time," she said, lacking any conviction at all. Karen just wanted her son to have a family and a father. Despite what Lucas said about Dan, she knew he was fascinated by the man as much as he was repelled. He'd always had a deep curiosity that thought about his other family incessantly as a child. She just needed to find a way to get that curiosity back.

Lucas trudged up the stairs and walked around the porch to the side door leading to his bedroom. He'd fumed the entire way home, pissed off that his mother was making such ridiculous demands on him regarding his father. These people treated her like crap for the last sixteen years and because Dan said a few apologetic words, Karen was now his best defender.

Hearing a noise, he quickly spun around, the tension in his shoulders lessening as Brooke walked into the dim light of the porch lamp. "Hey Cheery," he said, relieved to see a friend instead of a member of the crazed Scott family.

"Hey Broody," she replied, not at all happy to be there. Lucas noticed her expression and warning bells went off inside his head. Bells that seemed to be ringing on a constant basis.

"You look like a woman with bad news," he replied, taking her by the hand so they could sit on the porch swing. She leaned her head on his shoulder for a moment, taking in the warm scent that she identified with both Lucas and safety. After a few minutes of silence, he looked her in the eye. "My mom will be home in a bit. She's already mad at me, so you need to leave before she gets home." He hated the idea of her leaving but he was probably already grounded again for walking out on his mom earlier that night.

Brooke shook her head, wondering when the hits would stop coming. It was like the world was hell bent on destroying both of them. She pulled a folder from her backpack and handed it to Luke. "I think I found the answers you've been looking for."

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