A Season in Purgatory
Chapter 34
Karen slammed a tray down on the counter, glad that the breakfast rush was clearing out. She paused a moment behind the counter, trying to work the tension out of her neck, tension that only grown since she'd entered her son's room earlier that morning, intent on doing a load of laundry before work. While Karen had given Lucas the responsibility for doing his own laundry from an early age, she always tried to help him out when she had smaller loads.
Instead of dirty socks, she'd found an empty bottle of tequila resting under his small twin bed. Forcing herself to smile, Karen went through the motions as a customer paid his bill, exchanging forced pleasantries she didn't feel inside. All she currently felt was anger, anger that her son continued to break her rules by drinking alcohol. If he was brazen enough to drink in his bedroom, what was he doing when he went to all those after game basketball parties?
Dan entered the Café and slowly made his way to the counter. Even from a distance he could tell that Karen was pissed off. He could practically sense the anger rolling off her slight shoulders. "I'd ask how your day was going but I think it would be redundant," he casually said, taking his regular spot at the end of the counter. "Normally that kind of anger is directed at me." He'd been on the receiving end of Karen's displeasure more than a few times over the past few decades.
She dropped the dish towel she was using to dry some water glasses and stared at him in exasperation. "I'm going to kill him," she calmly stated, not having to clarify "him".
"What's Luke done now?" he asked, knowing that only their son could upset her like that. He looked at her expectantly, knowing she wouldn't pass up the opportunity to vent. It was a source of comfort to him that she could open up and confide in him. For the first time in a long time, Dan felt like he had someone to talk to.
The bell on the door stopped Karen in mid reply. Keith hesitated in the doorway before slowly making his way up to the counter. He nodded at his brother but his attention remained focused on Karen. "Did Luke do something, Karen?" It was interesting that he could basically count on his younger brother being at Karen's Café every day between the breakfast and lunch rushes. Dan was becoming a regular after not talking to the woman for a decade.
Karen took in Keith's slightly flushed complexion and realized that he'd probably jogged the entire 4 blocks from the garage to the Café. "It's not anything worth running over here," she offered, embarrassed that the man had left his work the day before his wedding because of her errant son.
Keith looked at his brother and ex girlfriend in confusion. "But I got your message to come over here," he clarified, not understanding the look on Karen's face. He had three cars to finish up before he could leave for the rehearsal events and meandering around town wasn't on his agenda for the day.
Dan nodded at his brother's words. "My secretary got a call for me to meet you here, as well," he added, sensing that Karen was now completely confused.
"I didn't call either of you," she explained. They all stood there looking at one another when the door to the Cafe opened, interrupting their thoughts.
Karen immediately frowned, seeing her son in the doorway. "I called you all here," Lucas said, slowly making his way to the assembled group. He was a big believer in saying something once, and this way he didn't have to worry about the adults having to recount the conversation to the others.
"That's interesting considering you should be in school right now." Karen's tone clearly conveyed how unhappy she was with her son. It took everything she had not to grab the purloined tequila bottle from under the counter and beat her son with it.
Lucas walked over to where the adults stood, awkwardly stuffing his hands in his jacket to avoid strangling the omnipresent Dan Scott. "I just had a question about the night of my accident, and figured that the three of you were the ones to give me some answers," he blithely replied, not wanting to show his hand too quickly.
Keith was stunned by the hard edge in Luke's tone. He knew that the boy was upset at work yesterday. Despite Keith's happy chatter about the wedding, Lucas had barely uttered a word the entire afternoon. He knew his nephew well enough to know that something big was on his mind.
Karen and Dan looked down at their son in confusion before glancing at each other with a questioning look. Karen finally spoke. "We'll discuss your punishment for skipping school tonight, Lucas. I hope that your questions are worth being grounded for the next few weeks."
He shrugged off her words. Being grounded was nothing compared to finding out the two adults you trusted most in the world had lied to you. He stood in front of the group, lightly pacing in an attempt to contain his anger. Lucas could feel the edge of the folder in his inner jacket pocket, as if poking him insistently for answers. "You see, I've been having these dreams at night, flashes of events from the accident. And I've tried to piece together what happened that night for months."
Karen's brow creased, knowing that this was not good. She'd hoped that eventually her son would let the accident go and accept that he'd lost a chunk of his memories. "Lucas, you need to stop worrying about that night. The doctors said you might have flashbacks but the harder you try to remember the more stress it creates for you."
Dan shifted uncomfortably in his chair, not wanting to draw any attention to himself. Lucas honed in on that immediately. "But you see, recently I've had new fragments pop up. Fragments that include Dan," he revealed, taking pleasure in the slow kill and the looks of anticipatory fear on their faces.
Dan hesitated before answering; only speaking due to Keith and Karen's prolonged silence. "That's probably just because we've recently started hanging out together and you're projecting that into your flashbacks," Dan hurriedly offered, not positive that there was any sound psychological reason behind his explanation.
"Hanging out together?" Lucas chuckled at the quaint phrasing of their forced dinners together. You hang out with friends. You didn't hang out with dead beat dads that you hated. "I think there's a little bit more to it than association." Lucas glanced over at his uncle for confirmation.
Keith shifted uneasily, avoiding the glare of his nephew's steely gaze. He was uncomfortable with the decision Dan and Karen had made months ago to hide the truth from Lucas and now he was being held accountable for it.
Walking over to where his Uncle stood, Lucas shifted his attention toward his Uncle. "A couple of weeks ago you mentioned something about talking to Dan the night of the accident," he reminded his uncle.
Dan shot Keith an uncertain glance. They'd all agreed to never discuss that night with Lucas. Dan wondered what the hell Keith was doing tying him directly to those events.
"I did call Dan later that night to tell him what happened, Luke. I didn't think he should learn about the accident at the country club," Keith snarked, more a commentary on his brother's absentee parenting than a recounting of events.
Luke's gazed over at the three adults in thoughtful contemplation. "Why would he care?" Lucas asked, ignoring the looks his mother was shooting him. "I mean, he didn't care enough to make sure I had Christmas presents or even heat growing up. So why would you think to call him of all people?"
Dan had the decency to lower his head at his son's words. It would be hard to refute his son's harsh words. He HAD missed every holiday and major event of his son's life. And one night of parental concern wouldn't make up for that, even if it involved CPR and a consent to operate form.
Karen gave her son a sharp look. "What are you implying, Lucas? That your uncle had ulterior motives for calling Dan that that night?" she asked, not at all happy with her son's attitude and tone.
Raising his eyebrows slightly, Luke's words remained enigmatic. "No, I'm not implying that at all. I just wanted to clarify the events of that night so that I can put in the past and move on," he stated, watching closely as the adults around him let out subtle but telling sighs of relief. If Lucas hadn't been so intent on his plan, those sighs might have triggered the anger that lay just beneath the surface. An anger so intense that even a vicious hangover couldn't repress or diminish.
"So, the official story is that the wreck happened, Keith got me to the hospital just in the nick of time and then after surgery I was in a coma for a while before I woke up and you took me home," he recapped, watching as Keith looked away from his penetrating gaze. It was never a good sign if Keith couldn't look you in the eye. He was one of the most honest men that Lucas had ever met and that alone caused a chill to run up his spine.
Karen was losing patience with her son. "Yes, Lucas. Those are the same details that you've always known. I'm not sure what more we can give you," she said, throwing her hands on the counter in exasperation. Keith watched the scene play out with extreme trepidation. Lucas was up to something. The boy was too pragmatic to call all three of his parents into a conference if he just wanted to rehash old information. There was something so cold and perfunctory about his manner that scared Keith. Something that eerily reminded him of his younger brother.
Lucas nodded at her contrived answers, realizing that she'd failed to tell him the truth when he'd given her a final chance to do so. A part of Lucas died at that moment, knowing that his mother was lying to him, that he couldn't trust the only person he'd leaned on for his entire life. It was even worse knowing that his Uncle was complicit too. The sadness he felt was nearly overwhelmed by his anger. Nearly.
He walked over to the counter, pulling a folder out of his inner jacket pocket. He laid the folder on the counter, waiting for a reaction from his parents.
Dan's lightly uttered curse diverted Karen from her impending reprimand. "What are those papers, Dan?" she asked, looking over his shoulder at the typed formal documents. Dan looked up at Lucas, watching in horror as the smirk on the boy's face grew. "You've been checkmated, guys," Lucas softly said, knowing that he'd finally forced them into a corner.
Karen reached around Dan's huge shoulders and grabbed the forms from the hospital off the counter, her frown growing with each passing moment. She looked up from the papers, finally understanding what the forms implied. "Where did you get these?" she asked, with a little more force than she'd intended.
"Where did I get what, Mom? Do you mean the consent for surgery signed by Dan? Or was it the credit card receipt signed by my long lost father?" his tone was a mixture of anger and accusation. "Now, can I finally have the truth about what happened that night? The truth that corresponds to the hospital records?"
Dan could feel Karen's fear, the fear of losing her son and the fear of confronting the anger that emanated from the boy with surprising force. He fought the urge to jump to her defense, knowing that whatever he said would more than likely upset Lucas far more than soothe his pain.
Keith sighed and finally met his nephew's insistent inquiry. "You're right, Lucas. More went on that night than we told you about. But we were concerned about your health. The first week after the accident you were physically and mentally frail. Your memory was in tatters and you could barely move around. We just decided you didn't need more pain than you were already in."
Spinning around to face his uncle, Luke's face clearly showed the confusion he was feeling. "What couldn't you tell me? That he was there that night? Or that he had to pay for my bill because my mom couldn't afford to?" There was a raw angst in his voice that physically affected Dan. He was being assaulted by his past decisions, decisions that had shaped his son's world view.
He started to speak, trying to find some words to console his son, but Karen put her hand on his shoulder to stop him. This was her responsibility; she alone was the person Lucas looked to for the truth. She took a deep breath and slowly began to explain. "The wreck was serious, Lucas. Keith was in and out of consciousness. Dan was driving by and saw who was involved. He was one of the first people on the scene. He called 911 for help, but by that time you'd stopped breathing," she revealed, watching as he mentally tried weighed her words against the sparse medical jargon he'd read on the forms Brooke found in his file.
She gave him a moment and then continued. "Dan gave you CPR, which got you breathing again and then followed the ambulance to the hospital, where he signed the consent to operate forms. He saved your life, Lucas," she softly said, watching the horror grow in her son's eyes. Lucas could handle just about anything that Dan threw at him, but the idea of his father saving his life was nearly too much for him to take. Dan, the father who cursed his mere existence had helped saved his life. His shoulders shook a moment, as he fought for control of his own emotions.
Dan watched his son's violent reaction to hearing the truth about that night. He tried to break the tension in the room by addressing the obvious. "Lucas, I know I've not been there for you in the past, but there was no way I could leave you and my brother on the side of the road. I just wanted to make sure you lived through the night. We didn't tell you because we knew it would just upset you," Dan tried to explain, seeing the boy's shoulders tense with each passing word. "The doctors stressed the importance of keeping you calm and rested. We figured that it would be better to keep my involvement quiet in order to help you recover."
Stunned into silence, Lucas slowly sank into an empty chair at a nearby table. The idea of Dan giving him CPR, of being close enough to touch him literally creeped him out. He stared at the floor, avoiding the concerned stares of the adults that surrounded him. Sighing, Lucas realized that he was now beholden to Dan Scott for his very life. Indebted to the man who'd given him nothing in his short life but taken everything he'd wished for as a kid.
Unable to stand the silent animosity, Karen rushed over to where her disillusioned son sat, and gently touched his arm. "Lucas, we didn't mean to deceive you. But things regarding Dan have always been difficult to deal with," she began, before he shoved off her hand and angrily moved away from her.
"Why has it always been difficult, mom? Because you've been lying about the past? Because you've told me that he's evil and then do a 180 and tell me that he's a good guy?" Lucas accused, still confused by the past few months. A thought suddenly occurred to him. "Oh my god, that's the reason why you don't hate him anymore, isn't it?"
The picture was becoming clearer to him with each growing moment. "Because he got me to the hospital, you're giving him a free pass," he surmised, taking in the silent adults around him. It suddenly made sense to him why his mother had gone from trashing Dan to letting him be a part of her son's life. She felt obligated to him for saving her son's life.
Karen looked uncertainly from Keith to Dan, not sure what to say. "Lucas, I do owe Dan for saving your life. He was just as upset as the rest of us while you were in that coma. But what's worse is that a lot of your pain has been my fault. My anger has kept you from being a part of your other family's life. And I'm trying to right that wrong," she gently explained, desperately trying to reach her son. A slow crawl of fear was taking hold, as she realized the cold distant look he was giving her was the one he'd reserved for his absentee father in the past.
Feeling the anger in the room, Keith finally stepped into the conversation. He was angry that he'd been dragged into this lie and had been vocally against it from the beginning. Now he was left to pick up the pieces and sooth things over between the child and his parents once again. "Lucas, we should have told you the truth. It was a stupid omission that in the end means very little. You are alive and that's all that matters," Keith rationalized.
"No, Uncle Keith. The only thing that matters is trust. And I don't trust any of you anymore. Not after this," Lucas said, before stoically walking out the door and off into the night. A slight gasp left Karen, who was by then crying softly at the sight of her son's retreating figure.
Dan's eye narrowed at his oldest son's parting words. He'd never expected to win Luke's trust but watching the boy shred his mother to pieces angered him beyond words. He walked over to where Karen sat and gently rubbed her back, hoping to offer some comfort to her. "It'll be okay, Kar. He just needs time to calm down," he murmured, wrapping his arm around her shaking shoulders. It would all be okay with time, he reasoned to himself.
Thanks for the great replies. They always keep me motivated to write the very last chapters of this story! Happy post election week to everyone.