A Season in Purgatory
Chapter 37:
Of Fragments and Anvils

Karen smiled at the squealing children that circled the tables of food, searching for treats after being forced to stand still during the ceremony. Anna's entire class had been invited to the wedding and as a testament to her popularity as a teacher; the entire group had shown up for the little wedding in the park. Karen's smile grew, watching the happy, smiling faces weaving in and among the more sedate adults. While the wedding had been touching, part of Karen mourned the loss of such a future for herself. She wanted to be completely happy for Keith and Anna, but it was hard to put away the instinctive jealousy that surfaced during the wedding. She'd relied on Keith for most of her life and now she felt that somewhere, a door was closing on her past.

Her smiled faltered, the happy children forgotten in her moment of retrospect. She was truly happy for Keith and Anna, but it would take time for her to truly put aside the dreams she'd created of a happy family shared with her life long best friend. Karen knew what she felt for Keith was more gratefulness rather than passionate love, but she'd given herself to the latter before and gotten burned. In that moment, she envied Anna for having such a stable, nice guy like Keith. Karen wondered if part of her was defective. She'd always had a thing for bad boys with attitudes. Boys like Dan.

Dan stood in the shadow of a large oak tree, watching as Karen stared at the herd of kids with hungry eyes. He relaxed for a moment, enjoying the contemplative aura that surrounded her. The wedding reception was gearing up, and while Dan wasn't a fan of park causal, he'd wanted to participate as much as possible. He'd spent too many years insulting his big brother and now was the time that Dan could support Keith and his strange taste in parties. His attention wandered away from the party and honed in on studying his ex-girlfriend. Dan's forehead wrinkled in consternation at that term. Girlfriend…it was strange to give the mother of his son such a childish status. That sounded so high schoolish, even though that's exactly what they had been, child hood sweethearts. It was hard for Dan to see such an important relationship reduced to such insignificance. There was a time in his life when Karen was his world, his morale compass against his own destructive tendencies. He'd loved Deb. Of that he was certain. However, there was a tie to Karen, a sense of understanding and shared experience that he'd never had with his wife. Though the years had passed with little to no interaction with Karen, Dan still felt that connection with her. He knew that despite his boorish behavior she was the one person who truly understood him. Dan stared down at his dress shoes a moment, overwhelmed by her innate kindness, of her willingness to give him a chance to get to know their son.

Karen watched from a distance as Anna and Keith cut the wedding cake, the sounds of giggling kids anxious for a piece drowning out the sounds of the busy park. She stared at the children once again. Karen missed the happy excitement generated by kids and deeply regretted only having one child to experience that happiness with. Not that her child had ever shown that much unrestrained joy. Lucas had always been a reserved child, holding his emotions close to his chest, as if afraid that revealing them would lead to rejection. Her heart ached for Lucas as she watched the children line up for cake.

"They look happy," Dan said, noticing that Karen jumped at his words. She'd thought she was far enough away from the guests to avoid detection. She smiled over at the kids. "Did we ever look that happy?" she asked, truly wondering if they'd ever led carefree lives. Lives without recriminations and hateful words.

Dan considered her words for a moment. "I think we were happy for a long time, but then life started piling up on us faster than we could handle it," he replied. "I think I missed most of these times with Nathan," he revealed, knowing that he'd spent too much time away from his son during his formative years. He frowned, realizing that while he'd spent most of Nate's childhood building his business, he'd missed most of Luke's life completely.

Nodding in agreement, Karen understood his regret. "I worked too much when Lucas was little. I don't think he had a chance to be a child very often," she noted, remembering carrying him around the Café as she waited on customers. She suddenly looked up at Dan, a questioning gaze on her face. "If you had to do it all over again, would you do it differently? Would you change the way you raised Nate?" She'd have definitely found a better way with Lucas. A way to raise him so that he'd not have carried the weight of the world on his slight shoulders.

Dan thought about her words a moment, considering all the massive mistakes he'd made over the years. "I'd have been around more, taking him to school and doing more than just being a live in basketball coach," he deftly replied, knowing that the Scott family basketball obsession had been forced onto his sons. He stared down at her diminutive form. "Would you do it again? After all the mistakes and drama?" He was genuinely interested to see if she could go through the trials and tribulations associated with child rearing at this late age in life.

Karen laughed at his question. "I don't think I have to worry about babies at this stage of my life," she glibly replied. Dan scoffed at her words. "Why not? You're very young. You could have some more kids if you wanted them."

Her face turned slightly red at his suggestion. "I think I'd need more than just the desire to have another kid," she pointed out. "I'd need someone in my life that was actually worth dating. And that's been lacking lately," she confessed, a bit shocked that she was having this conversation with Dan Scott of all people.

Sensing a moment of shared vulnerability between her lack of dates and the death of his wife, Dan slowly pulled her toward him, giving her a gentle hug. "It'll all work out in the end, Kar." Dan said, nestling her in his strong arms as his hand moved to stroke the hair at the nape of her neck. Karen sighed, feeling slightly better during this trying day. She might not have her version of Keith, but at least she had a friend to commiserate with.

Standing off at a distance, Brooke Davis glared down at the two entwined figures that stood below her in on the secluded side of the park. She watched as Dan wrapped his arms around Karen, giving her support and something else. Something that went way beyond sharing parental experiences. She heard someone move up behind her, and turned to see Nate, staring down at the adults with a mixture of horrible fascination and anger.

"Maybe she has a crick in her back and he's trying to crack it for her," Nate suggested, completely at a loss for what they were seeing. If he hadn't have known Dan better, he'd have sworn there was something . . . gentle about the way he held Karen. It was completely foreign for Nate to see his father in this light, in a way he rarely saw his parents together.

Brooke scoffed at his lame suggestion. "Or maybe there's a reason that Karen has suddenly found redemption for Dan. Perhaps a reason that has nothing to do with giving Luke his long lost father," she speculated, watching as the couple remained intertwined, seeking comfort in a relatively isolated part of the park. Brooke had been seeking her own solace and a quiet place to sneak a few sips of booze from her silver flask. She was shocked at the sight before her, of two adults obviously involved in a complicated relationship.

"This isn't going anywhere good, is it?" Nathan asked his long time friend, knowing that they had just turned a corner on something huge. Brooke took a swig from the flask and held it up toward her friend. "It's going to be a strange year," she commented as Nathan took one last look at his father, before upending the flask.

Lucas stretched his long legs out, taking up most of the last row of delicate white chairs. He wasn't sure who invented wedding chairs, as he'd started calling the furniture, but whoever it was had a twisted sense of comfort. The chairs were made out of small planks of wood that inevitably dug into the wrong part of your body, while being barely wide enough to hold a beefy child. Lucas sat idly by, watching as the catering staff dismantled row after row of the miserably little chairs. All in all, he'd found the most deserted place in the entire wedding celebration. He felt two arms slide around his neck; the scent of Brooke was unmistakable. "Hey there, Broody, where have you been?" she said, the scent of vodka now overpowering her perfume.

He led her around to sit on one of the miserable chairs, staring her in the eye. "Where did you get the booze and why wasn't I invited?" he asked, not so jokingly. Brooke sneaked a look around, before sliding her boyfriend the almost empty flask. He emptied the flask in a few swigs, and the two leaned back to enjoy what little time they had left. The rows of chairs were disappearing rapidly, much like the stability of his life, Lucas thought, not missing the irony. Kind of like the things in his life that he could count on being neatly taken down and folded away.

A sound behind them caught their attention, giving Brooke a moment to slip the flask into her small beaded bag. Lucas hesitated a moment, seeing his father leading an older couple over to him. Brooke grabbed his hand in support, knowing that all hell was about to break out. Dan moved toward his oldest son with a gleam in his toothy smile. He looked like a salesman during a clearance bonanza.

"Lucas," Dan's voice boomed out across the park. Dan practically bounced as the older couple stopped in front of Lucas, expectation clearly written in their eyes. "I want you to meet my parents, Roy and May," Dan introduced, carefully watching his son for any sign of explosion that might be building. Dan didn't want this moment to happen but he knew when he was fighting a losing battle. And he always seemed to lose when his father was involved.

An uncomfortable silence descended on the group, as no one seemed sure what to say or do. Roy stepped over to where Lucas stood, grabbing the boy's hand and soundly whacking him on the back. "Son, I'm so glad I finally get to the chance to meet you," he said, adding an extra back whack. Lucas took a deep breath and turned toward the massing group, ready for this confrontation.

Happy holidays in case I don't update until the new year!