A/N: Two updates in two days! No one can hold me back! :)

Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. You guys are the wind beneath my (west) wings. I especially appreciate when you tell me that my writing seems in character - it's hard to write these characters in situations totally unlike what we saw on the show. I'm always second guessing myself, so it's good to know when I'm doing them justice. And if ever I'm not - let me know! ;)

Oh, and because I forgot this little attribution last chapter: a review from AnnieFA inspired the line where Josh said that he felt the stars were aligning, because she's hella insightful and I loved that phrasing.

Hope you enjoy chapter five!

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"So how did your... Thing go?"

Donna gives Will an amused look as she settles into the seat beside his. It's the first moment they've had all day that's been close to private, so she's not surprised he's asking. "My doctor's appointment?"

Will tries not to look quite so uncomfortable. "Yeah. That."

"It was good. Everything's good. Baby's good."

He squirms again at the word baby. He finds it easier to think about her pregnancy in the abstract. "I'm glad."

"Thanks." She decides not to mention her doctor's recommendation that she start to take it easy, and cut back on work. Will has made enough accommodations for this pregnancy, he doesn't need to make any more. She'll figure it out.

"And your... Situation?" He asks delicately.

She can't contain a snort. "You mean the baby daddy situation?"

Will allows himself to relax, and even laughs. Her bluntness certainly makes things easier. "Again, you guess correctly. Sorry I'm being so cryptic, I don't know why I'm... You know."

"You're being sensitive." She says appreciatively. "It's sweet."

"I try."

"Well, things with my situation have diffused somewhat. No more marriage proposals. We had a good conversation, we came to an agreement about some things. Others, we're still not on the same page about, but we'll get there. At least, I hope so." She can't help but feel a little regretful, when she thinks about the hurt in Josh's eyes when she'd told him she didn't want to give them a try. Especially after sharing that moment in the doctor's office - it had felt so right. They had felt so much like a family.

But she's too wary. She refuses to jump into something so blindly. Keeping her distance hurts, but getting close to him only for things to fall apart would hurt much more. She's simply not prepared for him to realize he's gotten in over his head, and for him to start looking for escape routes and reasons to push her away.

Maybe she's too cautious, but he's certainly too impulsive for his own good.

He doesn't love me, she continues to tell herself. He can't.

"Hey, that's good. There's nothing worse than baby daddy drama." Will jokes.

"You said it, my friend."

"Hey, you think you can deal with this energy plan thing when we leave here? Some reporters are in the lobby, you can take a few questions and hopefully put it to rest."

"Yeah, sure." She's almost surprised at how breezy she sounds when she says this. A couple months ago, the idea of briefing the press or taking questions might've terrified her. Now, it's practically second nature. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Do you think... Do you think you give me too much responsibility for my position?"

He stares at her. "Are you saying you want less responsibility?"

"No! No, of course not. It's just that, for so long, I was just an assistant. And then I was barely a regional media director for a few weeks before I became a spokesperson, and even now, I'm helping with strategic decisions and planning in the room when most of our spokespeople just read statements, and, I just..." She takes a deep breath, having babbled on a little too long. "I just worry that someone more qualified should be doing this."

Will looks at her like she's just had another crazy parking lot meltdown. "Donna, you're good at this."

"Well, I'm trying, but I-"

"Donna, I mean it. Something about being an assistant must've qualified you, because you're invaluable to us here. You're a brilliant spokesperson, and your strategy is good too. It's a unique perspective, which we really need a lot of the time. I'm not giving you anything more than you deserve. Trust me."

Donna beams, rendered nearly speechless. "Will... Thank you for saying that."

"Nothing that isn't true." He shrugs as if it's not a big deal. "It's no wonder Josh kept you so close, and gave you more than all of the other west wing assistants... You're very good at making yourself indispensable."

Her smile falters at the mention of Josh. Had he really treated her with such a noticeable difference? There were a few instances that she noticed, of course, like when she was the only assistant told of the MS scandal before it broke, or when Josh would talk policy with her.

"You talked to Josh about the budget?"

"Yeah, we argued about it. He said he's thinking about taking the subsidy issue to the President. Why?"

Ginger and Bonnie stared at her, and then at each other, before Ginger finally spoke up. "Donna, Toby doesn't talk to me about anything he's working on except to tell me who to schedule meetings with."

Maybe he had given her all he could. Maybe she outgrew her position long ago, and he only kept her around because to him, she was just what Will said - indispensable.

"Thanks, Will." She says faintly.

"Sure thing. And, for what it's worth, you're one of the few people I can stand to work with. I trust you - and in this industry, that's a rarity."

She manages a weak smile. She hates to think about how much he'd question that trust if he knew the truth about her and Josh.

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"Uh... Josh?" Ronna says finally, breaking the silence. "You gonna tell us what you called us all in here for?"

He's starting to make them nervous, he realizes. Fair enough. He had asked the Congressman, Ned, Ronna, and Bram to step into his office and had shut the door before saying "I need to tell you something," and starting to pace agitatedly. Yeah, he can see how that would be worrisome. "Sorry, guys. It's just... God, this is hard."

Matt raises an eyebrow at him. His campaign manager is agitated and stressed on a good day, but today he looks particularly unhinged. "Josh, c'mon. What is it?"

"Is something about to happen?" Ned guesses.

"No." Josh says.

"Something's going to break?"

"Um, no."

"Okay, what then?"

"There's sort of like... An impending scandal." Josh stops pacing and leans wearily against his desk.

"An impending scandal?" Ronna's voice raises in alarm. "About what? The opposition?"

"Nope."

"Us?" She says disbelievinngly.

Matt just watches him. He has a pretty good guess what the scandal is. "When's it going to break?"

"Hopefully never. Press hasn't gotten wind of it, I just wanted you guys to be aware of it in case they do. In case we need to do damage control."

"You're freaking us out, Josh." Ronna says, accurately summarizing the mood in the room.

"Yeah, is something shady going on? Are we hiding it?" Bram presses.

Josh sighs, and buries his face in his hands. "Oh god," he moans, not helping the situation at all.

"Josh!" Ronna admonishes. "Seriously, spill."

"Is it about the Congressman?" Ned asks.

"Hey," Matt protests.

"It's not about the Congressman."

"The staff?"

"Not staff plural..."

"Josh." Matt says warningly.

"Okay, okay! It's about me." He finally admits, raising his head from his hands. "The scandal, if it leaks - which I don't intend to let happen! - would be about me."

Three faces stare at him, appalled. One face looks vaguely amused.

"About... You?" Ned repeats in shock.

"Did you say something stupid and impulsive again?" Ronna feels the need to ask.

"God, I wish."

"Did you do something stupid and impulsive?" Bram asks.

"You could, uh, say that."

Evidently, this is going to be a guessing game. It's like pulling teeth. "Please tell me you didn't do anything improper with campaign finance."

"No! No, God, of course not."

"Poor tactics, illegal tactics, wire tapping... Help us out, here."

"None of that! What do I look like to you?"

Bram blurts out what they've all been avoiding, "Is it a sex scandal?"

Ronna and Ned have possibly never looked more scandalized in their life. Matt has never looked more tickled.

"Oh, God." Josh runs a hand through his hair. "God, I never thought I'd be on this side of a conversation like this. Yeah, I guess, if we're being crude... it could be categorized as a sex scandal."

"Oh my god!"

"Let's all calm down, okay? It's not a bad one!"

"There's such a thing as a good sex scandal?"

"No. You know what I meant. Agh." He starts to pace again. "Okay. Here it is. I may have... Possibly... Knocked someone up."

"You what?"

"I got someone pregnant, okay? Out of wedlock, obviously."

Ned narrows his eyes, not seeing the big deal. "That doesn't sound so bad. People don't judge unmarried parents that harshly anymore, it's hardly a scandal."

"Oh, that's not the worst of it, Ned." Josh says, smiling dryly.

This is the first part of the conversation that alarms Matt. "Wait, it isn't?"

"She's, um... She works for the Russell campaign."

"She what?"

By now, all four of them are practically bearing down upon him. "It gets worse."

"Oh boy."

"She's one of their most visible spokespeople."

All four mouths drop. He can watch the wheels turning in their heads as they mentally go through Russell's spokespeople. Ronna gets there first. "Tell me it's not Donna Moss."

Josh looks at her sheepishly. "Um, bingo?"

"Which one is she?" Bram asks.

Ronna runs a hand over her forehead, obviously distressed. "The really pretty blonde one."

"Oh no."

"Yeah, exactly."

"She looks like a Barbie doll."

"Or the Virgin Mary."

"Or someone's daughter, all sweet and innocent, that Josh preyed on."

"Hey!"

"I'm just saying that's how the press will spin it."

"She's good at her job, too! She's crazy likable. All Bambi eyes and good comebacks."

Josh can't help but agree with her, there. "I hate to break it to you, but..."

They stop talking and stare at him. "It gets worse?"

"You guys are getting good at this." He attempts feebly.

"Josh..." Matt remembers a certain Bambi-eyed blonde from his time working with Josh at the White House. "Wasn't Donna Moss your..."

"She was my assistant. For about eight years."

If these were the summer months, his staff would all be at serious risk of bugs nesting in their wide open mouths.

"Was she still... When you..."

"That's the silver lining! She was not my assistant when I got her pregnant. See, that's as bad as it gets, okay? It's done getting worse, and now we can deal with it like rational adults, and-"

"But she worked for the Russell campaign when you got her pregnant?"

"Oh. Well, yeah, I guess that's true."

"And you were working for this one?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god."

"It's not that bad!"

"It's bad enough."

"Look, it probably won't leak, and-"

"Are you still together?"

"Are we..." Josh's face falls. "Oh. No. No, we're not. I should've mentioned that."

"I guess that's a little better. Less consorting between campaigns-"

Matt notices his campaign manger's abrupt change in demeanor. "Could you guys give us a minute?"

Bram, Ronna, and Ned are pretty much all cut off mid sentence. They stop suddenly, still charged with momentum. It takes a minute for them to process the request. Matt watches them expectantly.

"Of course, sir." They retreat meekly.

After they close the door behind them, Matt strolls slowly into the center of the office and takes a seat on Josh's desk.

"Are you, uh... Is this a more personal version of the lecture, sir?"

Matt folds his arms. "Are you okay, Josh?"

"Am I... Okay?"

"I heard the same rumors on the Hill that everyone else heard. You guys weren't nothing to each other."

Josh's eyes widen. He didn't peg the Congressman as the type to remember such arbitrary DC gossip. "No." He says softly. "No, we definitely weren't."

"What happened?"

"It's... Complicated." His head drops. "I asked her to marry me."

"After she told you she was pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"Well, God, that was stupid."

Josh can't help but laugh. "Oh yeah, sir. I've since come to realize that."

"That makes it seem like you were only proposing because-"

"I know. Trust me, she certainly made that clear to me. She was pissed."

"I'd imagine so."

"And now we're... We're..."

"Did you really want to marry her?" Matt can't help but ask.

"Yeah. Yeah, I really did."

Matt reaches out tentatively to put a hand on Josh's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Josh."

Josh smiles bitterly. "S'okay. It was stupid."

"Yeah, a lot of things about what you did were stupid. But I think I can hold off on the lecture for now, yeah?"

"Thank you, sir."

"Don't let it reach the press." Matt warns, standing up off the desk. "And if it does... We'll deal with it, okay? This is your campaign. We wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you. We'll stand by you."

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She picks up after three rings. "Hello?"

"Hey. It's me."

"Oh. Hey, you."

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm good."

"You're taking it easy?"

"I'm certainly trying."

"Donna."

"It's not easy. But I am trying, I promise. I'm even working on some meditation exercises."

"Seriously?"

"No. But I'm closing my eyes more, in between tasks. Does that count?"

He laughs. "Close enough. I hope it's not while you're walking."

"I've only drifted into the street a couple times."

"Oh, well if it's only a couple."

"And you? Taking it easy?"

"I don't have to."

"I'll take that to mean that you're three red bulls and fifty sleepless hours deep."

"You know me too well. You're eating?"

"Actually eating peppermint ice cream as we speak."

"I thought it got stuck in your teeth in a way that you find annoying."

"Yeah, well. Cravings don't really care about things like that."

"Hey, you wanna go out with me this week?"

"Oh, this week's no good."

"Okay, another week."

"Hm, another week isn't good either."

"Really?"

"Really." She pauses. "I like it when you call."

"I do too. I'm heading into an event right now, so I'll..."

"Yeah. I'll talk to you later."

He hangs up, a dull sinking feeling in his chest. He can't keep from straying back to the thought that's been plaguing him for some time. Maybe her adamant refusal not to be with him has nothing to do with the fact that she isn't sure of how he feels, but that she is sure of how she feels - and she doesn't love him back.

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Helen Santos stands backstage during her husband's speech. Usually she watches him while he speaks, even if it's the same stump speech she's heard a dozen times. But tonight, she isn't quite as enthralled. She's distracted by her husband's campaign manager, and the conversation she had about him earlier.

"No way. No way, Matt!"

"I'm serious."

"He proposed to her?"

"Apparently."

"The cute blonde girl that I'm constantly seeing on CSPAN?"

"The very same."

"I mean... I can't say I'm entirely surprised that he knocked someone up, but a proposal..."

"He seems pretty broken up about it, Helen."

"Josh? No way."

"I know you're not his biggest fan, but-"

"But what? Say nothing about how he's jeopardized the entire campaign with his reckless stupidity?"

"Helen, you're being over dramatic. He hasn't jeopardized anything."

"Yet."

She strolls toward Josh, who is having more success following the speech than she is. A cat like grin spreads across her face as she considers the best way to start this conversation.

She won't pretend that she and Josh haven't had their differences in the past. And, well, the present. He pretty much upended her life. And now that his is being upended... Shouldn't she at least get a little fun out of it?

"So, I hear you're gonna be a dad."

He immediately clenches his jaw. "Yeah. What about it?"

"Nothing! You just never seemed domestic to me, that's all."

He merely sighs.

Well, antagonizing him is no fun if he's not going to respond. "And the girl. She's cute." He still doesn't say anything. "Also not someone I'd picture you with, but you know..."

"I don't know, actually."

"I heard you proposed."

For one of the first times in her life, she sees Josh Lymam completely immobilized. He isn't moving, or fidgeting, or pacing. He's totally still. Through gritted teeth, he manages, "I did."

"Well gee, can't help but wonder why she wasn't swept off her feet." She drawls sarcastically.

That's what snaps him. He whips around suddenly and says, "Shut up."

She reels back in surprise. "Excuse me?"

He appears to immediately regret his words. "I'm sorry. I just... Look, I know you don't like me."

She doesn't say anything.

"And that's fine. I know this whole thing wasn't exactly what you wanted for your family. And I can take whatever the hell you have to say about me. Honestly, I can. Make fun of my strategy, of the way I handle the campaign, hell, I don't care if you make fun the way I talk, or act, or look. Take your pick. There's plenty to razz me about, I know." He's remarkably intense as he stares at her. "But do not - please - do not talk to me about this. Ever. Again."

She's taken aback by the raw quality of his voice. "Josh, I... I didn't know."

"Didn't know what?"

"Matt said you cared about her, but I didn't... I didn't think..."

"You didn't think that was possible, did you?" He asks dryly.

"That's not what I was going to say."

"I know you think I'm heartless. That I yanked your husband away from his family for my own personal gain. I know you think I'm nothing but politics, and the only thing I care about is winning. But, ma'am?"

"What?"

"You really don't know me that well." His voice is deadly quiet. It's robbed of his usual fire and gusto.

"I... I guess I don't."

"So I'd appreciate it if you left my personal life out of whatever problem you have with me. Because it's not fair."

She finds herself nodding. "Okay. I-I will. I can do that."

He takes a deep breath, and turns suddenly away from her. "Good."

Eventually, she says softly, "I'm sorry."

He doesn't say anything for another minute. The dull roar of the crowd is the only thing they hear. "Due respect, ma'am... You have no idea what this is like."

"What what's like?" She asks, giving him a cautious glance.

"To want to spend the rest of your life with someone so badly... And only with that person. To be so invested..." He struggles to find the right words, his voice catching painfully in his throat. "To see your entire future with someone who doesn't see a future with you."

She swallows. "Josh, I'm..."

"I just... I have no intention of being a dead beat, okay? This means something to me. Everything, actually. My entire life..." He trails off. "And she... I didn't propose to her on a whim, okay? It was stupid, I know, but this isn't a game to me."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me."

He gives her half a twisted smile. "I just really needed to explain myself to someone today. You were closest."

"I really am sorry, Josh."

"No, it's okay." He shoves his hands in his pockets, not making eye contact. "I'm sorry... Obviously, you didn't catch me on a great day."

"That's okay." She says quickly. After a moment, she adds with a soft smile, "You know, I bet she doesn't deserve you."

He shoots her a furtive grin. "You don't believe that."

Her smile grows. "No, I don't. But I thought it would be a nice thing to say."

"It's okay, I don't believe it either. And... Thanks."

Later that night, Helen ponders the strange conversation as she and Matt get ready for bed (at long last). "So, Josh kind of snapped at me today."

Matt freezes halfway through unbuttoning his shirt. "He what?" He turns to face her. "What did he say? I'll kick his ass."

Helen laughs. "No, that's okay. I deserved it."

"Seriously? What'd you do?"

"I started teasing him about the pregnancy."

Matts face falls. "Helen, you didn't."

"I know, I shouldn't have. I just like getting under his skin, because he so frequently gets under mine, and-"

"And I'll assume you were successful?"

She sighs, collapsing onto the bed. "Too successful. He actually loves her, would you believe it? And he really cares about the kid."

"I told you."

"I think I may have misjudged him, Matt."

"Yeah, well, you weren't the only one. I think we're all learning a lot about him this week. Him especially."

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Things are kinda dark right now, but I thought the scene of Josh telling his staff would be a nice moment of comedy. Also, I always thought the Helen/Josh dynamic was interesting, because she seemed to sort of hate him at first but then warmed up to him eventually. I thought it was worth exploring.

Anyway, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!