A/N: I'm back! Sorry for the long break, things have been hectic. But then, what else is new?

Thanks for all the feedback and for always encouraging me to persevere. Love you guys!

Oh and this chapter is based on the events of the episode Freedonia, if you're confused. Don't worry about the timeline matching up with the show's, I'm probably going to mess around with it some.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Will, I am so sorry."

Will grits his teeth. He's irritable because of her blunder, but he's more irritable that she's wasting his time apologizing so much. He continues power walking to his destination, the VP's hotel room, without looking at her. "Donna, it's fine. You messed up. We'll fix it. It's not the end of the world."

"I completely understand if you want to demote me. You know, take me out of the public eye. Or fire me. Anything!" She's practically begging for some sort of reprimand. She hates herself for what she did, and she needs him to hate her too. It'll make her feel worse if he minimizes it.

"Donna, what?" He finally sends her a look. "Don't be ridiculous. You accosted a chicken, you didn't, you know, accost a child."

"I know, but-"

"Donna. I've got work to do. You've got work to do. And you'd be a lot more helpful if you helped us deal with what's next, instead of being stuck on this."

She's brought up short. She bites her lip, conflicted. "I'm sorry."

"I..." He exhales in frustration. It's really impossible to stay mad at her. Especially lately - she isn't necessarily showing, but she's been resting her hand on her stomach in a way that's been making people talk. It evokes something strangely tender in him - as if she didn't have that power already. "It's okay, Donna."

"I just got so mad at him." She says plaintively.

"At... The chicken suit guy?"

"No, at Josh!" She flicks her hair out of her face irritably.

Will gives her a critical look. "At Josh?"

"This was his doing. It's got his stupid, impulsive spectacle showmanship written all over it." She says bitterly. "I just... I wasn't mad at that guy. He was just a proxy."

Will furrows his brow. He isn't sure why her actions suddenly bother him more than they did a minute ago. "He really gets under your skin that much?"

She rests her hand on her stomach, looking resigned. "Like nobody else."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"So, J." Amy drawls.

Josh jolts. He hadn't noticed her slip into place beside him. He's watching the pre-debate coverage, and they're replaying the clip of Donna accosting the chicken suit guy he'd sent her way. He realizes now that it might have been slightly antagonistic, but he hadn't meant to send him to her, and he has to admit the clip is pretty funny. He's watched it several times now. He likes how intense (and slightly unhinged) she looks. It reminds him of the Donna he knows - abundantly passionate, sporadically impulsive, and frankly adorable. It also helps that he likes looking at her and knowing that they've got their own secret.

He draws his eyes away from the screen. "What?"

"I've got a question for you."

"Okay, shoot."

"At least, I think you'll know the answer."

"What is it?" He asks impatiently.

"Is Donna Moss pregnant?"

If he'd been drinking, he would've done a spit take. "Um, what?"

"C'mon. I've got a hunch."

He splutters. "How could you possibly have a hunch from that?" He gestures to the TV, which had just stopped showing the image of Donna accosting their hired chicken man. "She's wearing a heavy coat, and-"

"I saw her in Connecticut last week. She wasn't even really showing, because of course she isn't, but she was doing this." Amy places one hand on her abdomen. "It seemed, I don't know... Maternal."

Josh can't pretend he hasn't noticed it too. He loves it. He feels heat and panic rising up inside him. "Maternal?" He repeats incredulously.

"Uh-huh." She says matter-of-factly. "It's a woman thing, you wouldn't know."

"That's ridiculous."

"J. Come on."

Josh accepts defeat with a sigh. "Fine. Your womanly instincts or whatever are right. I do happen to know that, yeah... She's pregnant."

"Wow." Amy inhales deeply. He could be imagining it, but his ex-girlfriend seems almost gleeful with this new knowledge. "So who's the unlucky bastard that knocked her up?"

Josh whips around to glare at her. "Unlucky? What the hell do you-"

"Calm down, fito. I meant unlucky because you're going to break his knee caps."

Josh settles down, embarrassed at his display. "Oh."

"So, who is it? Who ruined poor sweet Donnatella's good virtue?"

"Amy, please."

"Have you kicked his ass yet? Or at least tell me you've hired someone to do it."

Josh smiles wryly. He can't believe he's having this conversation. "I haven't, actually."

"Why not?" She puts a hand over her heart. "Don't tell me you approve of whoever knocked up your gal Friday out of wedlock?"

"I can't say that I do approve of him, actually."

"So you do know who it is?"

"Will you quit prying? It's none of your business."

"I'm glad she still tells you things. I thought maybe with different campaigns, something was troubling the waters." She watches happily as they loop the clip one more time.

Josh can't pretend he didn't expect some form of this when Amy came to prep the congressman for the debate. She loves to antagonize him, in a strangely half-affectionate half-resentful way, and there's no subject she loves to prod him on more than Donna. She certainly loved to when they were dating. "Amy..."

Just then, Bram stops by and chuckles at the screen. He says, "You've got one feisty baby mama, boss." and claps Josh on the shoulder before continuing on his way, not knowing that he's just set off an explosion in his wake.

Josh's chin drops to his chest. He can feel Amy's neck slowly pivot toward him, and her eyes bore into him, but he refuses to look up. He waits for the inevitable fireworks.

"You're kidding me!"

"Amy..."

"No fucking way."

"If you'd keep your voice-"

"I should've known! Oh my god, I should've known." She gives him a devilish grin, relishing how uncomfortable he is. "Congratulations, J."

He sighs again. "Thanks."

"Wait, no." She back pedals rapidly. "You're on separate campaigns, there's no wedding ring... Oh, Josh."

He hates the pity that's seeping into her voice. "Don't."

"How did this happen?"

He attempts a feeble smirk. "Um, the usual way?"

"Josh." She reprimands. "I'm serious. You guys were... Are... Together?"

"Well, we aren't now." He tells her truthfully. He hopes the pain doesn't show in his voice. "And... I guess we never really were."

"You're going to have to explain a little more."

"It was just the one time." He admits. He hates that in technicality, they'd really only been a one night stand. It feels like he's wading through a tattered years-long marriage. "I mean, really three times. Wait, four if you count the morning after when-"

"Oh god, shut up." Amy screws up her face in disgust. "C'mon, I know we've been broken up for a while, but I still never want to hear about your sex life. Especially not with her."

Josh bows his head sheepishly. She had a point. How many times had she expressed fear (even in the form of pointed taunting) of a night like that one taking place while they were together? "Right. Sorry."

"It's okay." She relaxes slightly. "Go on."

"It was after she quit. Right after I joined... Well, started this campaign. She let herself into my apartment because she needed a place to stay in DC, and she thought I wouldn't be there."

"I've always thought she was a resourceful lass."

"Yeah, well. I let her stay. We were pissed at each other and it was awful, but then... I guess..."

"One thing lead to another." Amy fills in for him. "Got it."

"Right. And-"

"Wait." Amy holds up a hand to stop him, her eyes wide. "Josh... Did you leave the White House because of her?"

He rears back. "What?"

"Don't look at me like that. Did you leave the White House, did you start all this-" she gestures around her, "-because she left you?"

Josh folds his arms, wishing he had a better line of defense. "That's insane."

"You're insane." She counters easily.

He looks away from her. "I guess... I might've stayed, if she hadn't..."

Amy lets out a long, low exhale before he's even finished speaking. "Wow."

"What?" He says defensively. "It's not that big a-"

"You're changing national history for her, J."

"I am not-"

"Does the Congressman know his entire campaign is based on the fact that a girl left you?"

He glares at her. Her familiar antagonism actually adds a layer of comedy to his otherwise completely depressing situation. "He doesn't, actually."

"A girl you never dated, at that."

"Let's not tell him."

She smiles. "He deserves to know."

Josh feels himself relaxing. For some reason, he and Amy's familiar dynamic is coaxing the truth out of him more easily than anything else has. She knows his feelings for Donna more intimately than anyone else, after all, even if they'd never talked about them openly. "Maybe."

Amy puts a hand on his shoulder and gives him a bolstering shake. "Okay. Go on. You and Barbie finally did the deed, about eight years and seven wasted months of my life too late, and then-"

He rolls his eyes. "And we agreed it wasn't the right time. We were on different campaigns, things still weren't all the way right between us, due to a long list of things I don't fully understand and which you probably don't care to hear, and-"

"But she was pregnant."

He nods. "Bingo."

She whistles. "Well, damn, J, if it only took you one night, I should be thanking my lucky stars you never knocked me up."

He laughs. It feels ridiculously good to laugh about this with someone - anyone. Even if it's his ex-girlfriend who he usually can't be in the same room with for more than five minutes before picking a fight. "Maybe you should."

"You're going to be a dad." She says, awed.

"I know." For the first time, she catches a trace of excitement in his voice.

"That's amazing."

"Yeah."

"Terrifying."

He nods emphatically. "Yeah."

"I'm sure you'll be good." She says considerately. "Though, I could never really see you as a parent."

He realizes, strikingly, the many differences between her and Donna. "Me either, for the most part."

"What did you do when she told you?"

"I told her I wanted to be involved. That I was all in. And then... This is where things get ugly."

"They weren't ugly before this?"

"I proposed to her."

"You're kidding me."

"That was pretty much her reaction, too."

"She said no?"

"Obviously."

"Hm." She considers this. "You know what? At first I was surprised, because that girl loves you like crazy, but she's also not one to be dragged along. I've underestimated her before, but... I really respect that she said no."

"Well, great." He says sarcastically. "I'm glad you're having some sort of feminist idealization for her right now, but on my end it sucked."

She comes back to their conversation. "Yeah, of course it did. You thought everything was perfect, finally, and then..."

He sighs. "Yeah."

"You've gotta understand what that looks like to a woman, J."

"I know that now. I just..."

"Yeah. I know." She purses her lips. "She still hasn't come around?"

"No."

"She will." She says reassuringly. "She has to, right? She 'gets' you." She recalls that awful conversation she'd had with Donna years earlier. It was then that she'd realized that she could never really hope to have with Josh what Donna did. She got back together with him anyway, of course, maybe to try and drown her doubts. Maybe to prove something to herself, or to Donna. None of that matters anymore. Donna had been right - at least, back then.

"Not so much, lately."

"I mean, you wouldn't do that for any woman. Imagine if you'd gotten me pregnant while we were dating. You wouldn't have immediately proposed to me, right?"

She knows the answer, but the guilty look of evasion in his eyes confirms it. "Amy, I..."

"Don't. It's okay." She says brusquely. Now, she really is thanking her lucky stars she never got pregnant with his child, as tempting as the image of a baby with dimples and curly hair had once been for her. "I'm just proving a point here."

"I wouldn't have." He admits. "I'm sorry, but we just weren't there."

"I know." She says. "But, listen, we dated for a while and you still wouldn't have popped the question if push came to shove. You spent one night with her and suddenly you're ready to commit your whole life. Doesn't she see how much that means, coming from you?" Because I do, she doesn't add.

"No." She can see the wheels in his brain turning. "Maybe I should try explaining it to her that way."

"Maybe." She smiles softly, watching him contemplate the matter with the intensity he usually only devotes to polling data and ad buys. "Do you want to know when I knew you loved her?"

That snaps him out of his fog. "What?"

"For the longest time, I tried to convince myself that it was one sided." She confesses softly. She's never told him this before, but she thinks maybe it's time he knows. He watches her cautiously. "That, you know, she was in love with you, but you weren't in love with her. You just wanted her. I thought if you just fucked her, maybe, you'd get it out of your system. Or maybe we could just move on, if she was out of the picture."

He continues to watch her, brow furrowed. "Amy..."

She shakes her head, indicating that she doesn't need his explanations. "It was stupid, I know. I never really believed it, that's why it kept bothering me, but I had to keep telling myself that. It was a self preservation thing, or a pride thing, or whatever. Anyway, do you want to know when I knew you loved her back?"

She can tell that he's biting back dozens of other questions and comments, but his curiosity for this answer overrides them. "When?"

"On the day of the CODEL attack in Gaza."

She sees pain flash across his face, followed by surprise. "But I didn't see you that day. At least... I don't remember." He admits. "Did I? It was kind of a blur."

"No, you didn't. That's the point." He looks confused, so she presses on. "I came to see you, that day. After the news broke. When I heard that Donna was in the car, I came to the White House. I, in what I now realize was some serious self absorption, thought I would come over to comfort you."

"You did?" He seems surprised, as he always does, by any indication that she actually cares about him.

"Yeah. But when I got there, you were gone. I walked around the West Wing for a while, because someone let me in, and finally I saw CJ and asked her where you were. She looked at me like I was insane, and she just said..." She pauses, reminiscing. "'Amy, he's in Germany. He left hours ago'."

Josh continues to look taken aback by this revelation.

"I felt so stupid."

"I... I guess I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You were where you needed to be."

He shrugs. "Yeah."

"That's when I knew. Because the President was having an international crisis, the staff was in all hands on deck mode, and you took a ten hour flight to be by her side, away from it all. I felt like an idiot for not seeing it before."

"You're not an idiot."

"Thanks." She bumps his shoulder with her own, attempting to regain her usual aloof and jocular demeanor. "Now, c'mon. I can tell you're dying to ask me something. Spill."

He looks somewhat guilty, but also somewhat relieved. "You said you realized that I loved her 'back.'"

"Yeah."

"You think she loves me?"

Rarely has she seen Josh so vulnerable and hopeful. "I know she does."

"Well, how?"

"I asked her."

Josh feels his pulse increase, and he reflexively leans forward. "What did she say?"

"She didn't say anything." She can feel his disappointment, but she just smiles knowingly. "Her silence said a lot more than anything else could've. Trust me, J. It's a woman thing."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Later that night, Donna is finally getting ready for bed. The debate is over, her coworkers' laughs at her expense have thankfully receded, and she feels herself on the brink of collapse. That's when her phone rings.

She checks the caller ID and answers the call with a definitive glare. "Hey, asshole."

He doesn't say anything for a minute, as if he doesn't know what she's referring to, which she finds odd. "Oh! The chicken thing."

"Yes, the chicken thing." She repeats scathingly. "Your stupid stunt that turned me into a national laughing stock."

"Hey, I didn't tell you to engage the chicken."

She splutters. "But-"

"And, what's more, if I didn't use my best strategy moves, like that one, on you, then you'd be getting preferential treatment. And I know you don't want our ambiguous personal relationship to interfere with our work, now do you?"

"No." She admits, frustration starting to color her cheeks. "And our relationship isn't ambiguous, it's-"

"Whatever. Listen, that's not what I called to talk to you about."

She sinks down onto the edge of her bed in shock. He hasn't been this direct or dismissive with her in months. Ever since the proposal he's been cowed and deferential. "But I'm not done."

"Too bad. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." She answers, still baffled by the direction of this conversation.

"Good. The chicken shucking didn't wear you out too much?"

"You don't shuck a chicken, Josh. You shuck corn."

"Whatever. Listen, I saw Amy today."

She freezes. "Amy Gardner?"

"Yeah. We had a good conversation about you."

She feels years old mortification overtaking her. "About me?"

"Yeah. She figured out you were pregnant."

"She what?"

"Yeah. Something about woman's intuition or whatever."

"Woman's intuition?" She echoes incredulously.

"Supposedly. But, she didn't get confirmation until one of my staffers had to come over and give it away."

She feels her head spinning like it had when he proposed. How are they so frequently, and so totally, out of sync lately? "Your staffers know?"

"What?"

"Your campaign. They know about us... About me?"

"Of course they do. I told them last week."

She tries valiantly to keep herself together. This really has been the terrible day to end all terrible days. "Don't you think that's something of a problem? Your staff is huge! They could leak this, they could make it about me to get ahead, they could-"

"They wouldn't do that." He interrupts. "I wouldn't let them."

"Josh, I appreciate that you think that, but-"

"And I only told four people. They can handle it, I promise. I just want them to be aware in case of damage control."

"Damage control?"

"Yeah." He says as if this should be obvious. "I'm surprised you haven't told your campaign. Will, at least. If it gets out it'll be bad for both of us."

She hates that he's right. She hates that he'd specifically pointed out Will, too. Her guilt intensifies. "I know, but..." She presses a hand to her forehead, dizzy.

"Listen. That's not why I called. I called because Amy and I had a good conversation about you."

"Did you?" She manages faintly. This is all too much for her to handle.

"Yeah. I told her everything that happened between us."

"Of course you did." At this rate, she's hardly surprised.

"About how she's known I've been in love with you for years, etcetera. But she pointed something out to me that I think is worth repeating."

"What?"

"If I'd gotten her pregnant - or anyone else for that matter - I wouldn't have proposed. Even though I'd been dating her for months. Because, listen, you know me. In my panic mode I always look for escape routes. I want less commitment, not more. You've gotta agree that this means something."

"Josh..." She trails off. Slowly, she slides from her bed onto the floor.

"I'm serious."

"This coming from the woman who frequently insinuated that I was stupid, ambitious, and constantly trying to steal you from her."

"She doesn't think that about you. And besides, she said she really respected you turning me down. Now, I don't fully agree, but..."

"What were you doing with Amy Gardner, anyway?" She asks, hoping to redirect the conversation.

"She helped prep the congressman for the debate. Which, strong showing, right? But I can gloat about that later. We talked about you, then she duct taped me to a chair. But that part isn't important."

It seems pretty important to her. "And then did what to you?" She asks dangerously. She knows she has no right to be jealous, but she is.

"Nothing. She just wanted me to shut up."

Now that, Donna can understand. "Whatever."

"Donna, c'mon. Don't you think this means something?"

She closes her eyes, and clutches the bridge of her nose with one hand. "I have to go." She says dully.

"Donna." He repeats plaintively, but she's already hanging up her phone.

She sets it on the ground with one trembling hand, and before she knows it she's crying. Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's her god awful day, maybe it's both. She cries until she's short of breath, hunched over her knees. For some reason this phone call has pushed her over the edge.

There are so many things that she's feeling right now, and she's not sure which one is causing the tears. First, she feels guilty for failing yet again to tell Will. Second, she feels shame and embarrassment that a handful of people on the Santos campaign know her secret, and she feels profoundly sad that they know it before her parents and closest friends do. Third, the idea that Amy fucking Gardner is being understanding and helpful to Josh in this situation while she's being cold and distant makes her feel itchy and insecure in a way that she hasn't since Amy and Josh last broke up.

Fourth, she feels torn because she wants so desperately to believe that he's genuine, but can't because she's overwhelmingly afraid of the possibility that he isn't.

Just when her sobs are starting to die down, her phone rings again. She looks down at the caller ID, fully expecting to send Josh to voicemail, but the name on the screen makes her heart soar. She wipes her tears and hastily tries to compose herself.

"CJ?"

"Donnatella Moss! You made for some good television today. Didn't anybody ever tell you not to engage a chicken?"

Donna laughs, amazingly. CJ is possibly the only one who could do that for her right now. "I missed that lesson in spokesperson school, apparently."

"Ah, well, now you know."

"I guess so."

"Listen, I'm calling because I have this really crazy question. It's totally off the wall. Honestly, please forgive me if I sound crazy, or if I mortally offend you, but-"

"What is it?" Donna interrupts with a sinking feeling.

"Are you possibly... Pregnant?"

Donna sighs. "How'd you know?"

"Oh my god, I knew it! Call it a woman's intuition. I'm CSPAN stalking you and I noticed some patterns."

"Should I be flattered?"

"Yes. And, holy crap! This is huge."

"Yeah." Donna agrees.

"Not to sound self absorbed, but why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. You seem so busy now that you're the COS, and I just..." She gives her only half the reason.

"I'm never too busy for this! Tell me everything."

"CJ..."

"Unless you don't want to. I totally understand." She sounds slightly disappointed.

"No, I do." Donna assures her.

"In person, then?"

"That sounds good. I'm in the district next Monday, how's that?"

"I'll make time if I have to snub a handful of powerful and well armed countries. It's a date."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think :)