Chapter 3
Internal Scars of the Emotional Kind
She turned, hand gripping the sheet, her leg pushing outward. Her other hand pulled close to her body.
T
"Hey, you," he smiled, hugging me from behind as he kissed my cheek.
"Hey," I said softly, letting myself lean back against him.
It felt so nice to be in his arms, the heat from his body rolling off and soaking into mine, his lips against my neck.
"You're beautiful, you know that?" Jason asked, gently kissing my neck.
T
A prickling feeling went up her neck, traveling all the way down her spine and to her toes.
T
-How is she doing?- Stefan
-Good thnx- Elena
-Talked to Damon. He mentioned something about a Jason. Who's he?- Stefan
-Jason? He was Kali's bf- Elena
-When?- Stefan
-4-5 yrs ago. It was b4 she left- Elena
T
"Here, I got this for you," Jason grinned.
I looked down to find him holding a rose in his hand, a smile spreading across my face as I took it, smoothing the petals with my fingertips. It was so beautiful, the petals soft like velvet. Not to mention, they were one of my favorites.
"Jason, it's beautiful," I cried, turning around and wrapping my arms around him neck.
A moment later, he pulled me into a kiss, his hand coming up to rest gently upon my cheek. His other hand set pressed against my back, pulling me closer.
T
Her hand twitched, curling into the sheet, heart pounding. Any other person would have thought her dream a pleasant one if they knew what it was.
T
-What kind of person was Jason?- Stefan
-Well, he wasn't very nice- Elena
-He was first, but not 4 long- Elena
-The possessive type?- Stefan
-Yeah. I was little back then though- Elena
-Was he why she left?- Stefan
-Yes- Elena
-I'm sorry- Stefan
Elena heard Kali groan after that, turning her eyes toward the door.
"Maybe I should check on her."
T
"I love you," he whispered, holding me close.
I could feel his breath on my ear as we stood there, a shiver running down my spine as a burst of wind came through.
"I love you too," I whispered, biting back a smile as I looked up at him.
"Always?" he asked.
I nodded my head, pulling him into another kiss.
"Always," I promised.
T
Tears slowly slipped down Kali's face as she woke up, sitting up in bed, her arm sore and painful. The moment of passion in her dreams had ended, the reminder of what used to be, ripping away at her. They were memories, dreams that she hadn't thought of in the last few years. Yet, now they kept returning, popping up around every corner, rearing their ugly heads for all to see. She was supposed to be safe here now, so she didn't know why she was feeling the way that she was.
"Why…why won't they stop," she breathed, wrapping her arms around herself, body nearly falling from the bed in exhaustion.
From the corner of the room, a shadow moved, standing and watching for a moment before drifting closer to her shaking form. A hand stretched out within the darkness, placing itself on the side of her face. His name nearly slipping from her sweet lips as she looked on tiredly. It was his eyes that seemed to put her at ease though.
"Hush," he whispered, ice blue meeting greenish brown within the thread of moonlight. "Hush," he repeated gently, his voice calming her frazzled mind.
Carefully, he crawled onto the bed, moving close to her. His face was mere inches from her own, his hand moving around her and pressing against her back. He pulled her closer, pressing her head into his shoulder, her eyes clouding slightly.
"There we go," he whispered, stroking her hair gently.
"That…feels nice," she whispered, pressing herself just a bit closer to him, taking in his scent.
It was old, the leather hitting her first. He'd obviously had his jacket for a long time, the material cool and smooth against her cheek. There was the possible smell of old spice as well, the smell filling her senses. An earthy tone hit her nose as well, sending her for a slight loop.
"Go back to sleep," he whispered in her ear, slowly sending her back into the darkness of slumber as a sigh escaped his lips, her body slumping against his own.
He nearly found himself disappointed as he looked down at her, carefully laying her back onto the bed, her head slumping to the side like a child's. It had actually been nice, holding her. She couldn't fight back though, that is if she even wanted to.
He smirked for a moment at the thought, standing up from the bed.
"Are there no good memories to be found?" he asked quietly, skimming her cheek with his fingertips.
His head then turned away from her tired form after a moment, glancing around him, before finally disappearing.
The only trace of him ever being there, a mere feather on the floor as the bedroom door slowly opened.
T
I groaned as I woke up, turning in the sheets that surrounded me. Last night I had dreamed of Jason. The memories weren't terrible, but they weren't ones that I wanted to remember either. What was strange though was that I'd also dreamt that Damon had been here, here in the room with me. He'd held me close, petting my hair. I had set there in his arms, a feeling of comfort and security washing over me. I hadn't felt such a thing in years.
"I'm so weird," I sighed, carefully pushing myself up into a sitting position.
I ran a hand through my hair as I sat there, looking around me. I was in Jeremy's room, a faint smile pulling at my lips. He could be such a sweet kid when he wanted to be. It was then that I realized that it was Monday. Everyone was at school, including Jenna.
"Great," I groaned. "Home alone."
Just what I needed, stuck here by myself.
"Only one way to fix this," I said, talking to myself out loud. "Go for a walk!"
T
It was a bit crowded as I walked through town, my jacket hanging over my shoulders. It'd been so long since I'd actually walked these streets, memories coming back to me from my younger days. Memories, both good and bad alike. It was like watching video clips or going through one of those little flip books that you had when you were a kid.
T
"Daddy, Daddy, can we get some ice cream?" I asked, tugging on his sleeve.
He merely laughed, ruffling my hair with his large hand.
"Of course, but you have to make sure not to drop it," he told me, walking over to the ice cream vendor with me.
"Yay!" I squealed, grinning from ear to ear.
"What do you want sweetie?" he asked.
"Chocolate!" I exclaimed, jumping up and down.
T
I walked down the street, looking around me. The park was near, the grass green as ever as it swayed in the breeze, a little dance of sorts. It was so beautiful, the simplicity of nature.
T
"Alright, one chocolate, please?" he smiled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet.
"Here you go little one," the man said, handing the cone to me.
I was filled with joy as I smiled happily, running off elsewhere, my dad yelling for me not to go too far.
"Yum," I grinned, licking away at my frozen treat, my attention focused solely on that.
I had always loved chocolate, my one true weakness.
"Watch it kid," a large man said, shoving me out of the way.
As a result, I fell on the ground, my ice cream slipping from my hands. I could feel my eyes tear up as I sat there, staring down at my hands. The icy confection now laying the ground in a mess.
"Are you alright little one?" I heard someone ask, the sound of light footsteps making their way over.
Sniffling as I looked up. A young man was before me, crouching down as he held a warm smile upon his face.
"Don't cry," he said softly, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbing my eyes. "Why don't you take this instead?" he smiled, pulling a small piece of candy from his pocket, the wrapper shining in the sunlight.
T
I walked around, feet dragging the ground slightly as I took in the scenery. Everything was still the same, even from when I was little. Every bench, every tree, it was all the same. Right down to the worn patches of grass. Nothing had changed, not a thing in all these years.
T
"Th-thank you," I sniffled, taking the candy from his hand.
"Now, why don't we find your parents?" he suggested, holding his hand out for me to take.
"Okay," I nodded, taking it as he pulled me up, the faint chill of his hand making me shiver.
I ignored it as we walked down the trail, a few kids laughing as they played with each other.
"Kali? Kali, sweetie, where are you?" I heard my father call, a smile forming on my face.
"Daddy!" I called out, tugging the young man along with me.
"There you are," he cried, falling to his knees in front of me. "You scared me," he told me, patting my hair. "What happened to your ice cream?" he asked.
"I'm afraid she had a little accident," the young man told him. "I think she's okay now though," he smiled. "Right?"
"Mmhm!" I grinned, holding the candy out for my father to see. "See, Daddy, see?" I smiled.
"That was very kind of you," my father said. "Thank you for taking care of her."
"Please, it was the least I could do," he said, bowing his head, his hazel eyes staring down at me.
T
I stopped as I stood in the middle of the park, mouth hanging open slightly as it finally clicked. Those eyes, I'd seen those eyes.
"Impossible…" I whispered, eyes trained at the bench in front of me.
That was what, fifteen years ago? It just wasn't possible. The man had been Stefan's age. His hair had been different, same with his clothes. Those eyes though, those eyes were the same. There was no mistaking it.
"I must be going out of my mind," I muttered, shaking my head as I continued forward, only stopping every now and then.
It was the only thing that I could do to keep my mind off of things. Maybe I'd be better just thinking about Damon again like I had earlier. At least that one was more likely I suppose.
T
Elena looked down as her phone vibrated, pulling it from her pocket to check it.
-U want 2 hang out after school?- Bonnie
Elena looked up for a moment, watching the teacher, before turning back to her phone and replying.
-Cant. Have 2 check on Kali- Elena
A moment later, her phone vibrated again, catching her attention.
-Kali's back and u didn't tell me?- Bonnie
-I 4got- Elena
Immediately after, Elena looked up, facing the front of the class. Although, when she felt her phone vibrate again, she stifled a groan. She was getting annoyed. She was already slightly behind in this class.
-You okay?- Stefan
She suddenly felt embarrassed about getting so annoyed, looking over toward Stefan and nodding.
T
I let out a sigh as I sat down, leaning my back against the wood of the bench. I had managed to tire myself out, closing my eyes for a moment as I sat there, taking in the sounds around me. I could hear everything that there was around me. The birds, the children, the breeze, it all hit me, the sounds echoing in my mind. Sometimes, I honestly wish that I had never left here, leaving everything behind me. I'd missed the sounds and the feeling of being here, being here around the people.
At the same time though, I was wondering if actually coming back was such a good idea. Was it actually in my best interest that I had returned? Had I not left for a reason? I had left in order to get away from everything, and yet here I was, back again amongst everything else. I'd left to try and get rid of the memories that I'd made here. Perhaps I was just losing it?
"Wouldn't be the first time," I muttered, opening my eyes to look up at the sky.
I then heard the caw of a bird, slowly looking around in an attempt to locate it. After a few moments though, my eyes landed upon a nearby branch, the little black pest just sitting there staring at me.
"You know, I should take a rubberband and shoot you with it," I voiced, keeping a close eye on the thing.
It merely cawed again, before leaping to another branch.
"I really should shoot you after yesterday," I told it, pointing a finger at it.
It cawed again, suddenly swooping down and landing on the edge of the bench, it's beak coming dangerously close to my hand.
"And just what do you think you're doing?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in question.
It replied by pecking at my hand, a startled yelp escaping me.
"Nasty bird!" I cried, trying to move away.
It merely got closer, pecking at the bench this time, before hopping onto my leg. I just prayed that it wouldn't stab me again.
"Now what do you want?" I asked carefully.
It made no noise this time, its talons curling into the skin of my leg, its beak coming closer to my leg as if waiting for me to say something negative.
"Please, don't?" I asked, not wanting to deal with any further pain at the moment, my back still sore from yesterday.
I was actually shocked when it jumped off, moving close beside my hand, its head bobbing for a moment before brushing against my skin.
"What a strange bird," I breathed, shaking my head as I looked down at it, its dark eyes staring back. "Weird," I muttered, rubbing my arm for a moment.
T
Once the bell rung, everyone scampered off, moving to make their way home and away from school. That also left Elena and Bonnie talking by the lockers.
"So, she's really back?" Bonnie asked, pulling one of her books from the locker.
"Yeah, she is," Elena nodded.
"You didn't tell Kali about Jason though, did you?" Bonnie asked, looking Elena over carefully.
"No," she sighed. "I didn't."
"Don't you think that she might wanna know?" Bonnie asked, closing her locker, the sound of the lock clicking meeting her ears.
"Yeah, but she just got here," Elena told her. "It's not like I want to give her a heart attack her first week back."
"Well, you're going to want to tell her before she finds out herself," Bonnie pointed out.
"Don't worry, I will," she promised.
T
I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard my phone go off to the sound of Ashlee Simpson's, Love Me For Me. I'm not really sure why I ever made it my ring tone, but I did.
"Hello?" I answered, placing it up to my ear.
"Kali?"
"Elena?"
"Where are you?" she asked, worry obvious in her voice.
"I'm at the park," I told her, slowly standing up from my previous spot upon the bench. "Why, what's wrong?" I asked.
"Well, I kind of need to talk to you about something," she told me.
"Go on," I urged.
"I wasn't entirely honest with you," she admitted.
"What do you mean, you weren't entirely honest with me?" I asked carefully.
"Please don't get mad?" she begged.
"Elena, just tell me what's going on," I sighed, running a hand over my face.
"Jason's…not exactly gone," she finally told me, a silence falling upon us for a moment.
"What do you mean, Jason's not gone?" I asked stiffly, my hand twitching painfully at my side.
"Well, he sort of came back last year," she mumbled.
"And yet, you led me to believe that everything was okay," I breathed, finding my breathing a little more ragged at the moment. "You convinced me to come back here, after everything that had happened, and he's still here?"
I knew that it was wrong of me to take it out on Elena, but I couldn't help it, she'd lied to me. I mean, it wasn't as if it was something small or anything. No, this was far too big to simply ignore.
"You led me to believe that he'd left, that he was gone!" I choked out. "I didn't have to worry anymore…"
"Kali, I'm sorry, I just…I didn't know what to do," she told me.
I didn't want to hear it though, shaking my head.
"I've got to go," I told her, hanging up before she could say anything else to me.
T
"Kali? Kali?" Elena tried, looking down at her phone to find that Kali had hung up.
She couldn't believe it. Why did Bonnie even have to say anything to her? This is what she'd been trying to avoid, hoping to eventually break it to her another way. Now, she knew that Kali was an emotional mess, and it was all her fault.
"Elena, are you okay?" Stefan asked, watching as she pulled at her hair.
"I need to find her, I need to find her and apologize," Elena told him.
T
I couldn't believe it, Jason was still here, still breathing the same air as me. He was here. I'd gone to such great lengths to get away and now I was right back where I had started.
"I never should have even come back," I told myself, making my way inside the Mystic Grill.
There, I spotted Matt and Jeremy over in a corner, pool sticks in their hands. If it weren't for the fact that I was so on edge right now, I would have smiled.
"Jeremy," I called out, walking over to them.
"Kali, you're up," Jeremy grinned, moving toward me and wrapping me in a hug.
"Did you know that your sister was lying to me?" I asked, looking up at him.
"Lying to you?" he asked, the confusion evident in his voice. "What are you talking about?"
"Please, tell me you didn't know that Jason was still here in town?" I begged, feeling myself shake even more.
"Of course not," he shook his head, trying to understand what was going on. "Kal, what's going on?" he asked.
"Elena, she…she knew he was here," I told him, taking a couple steps back as I ran a hand through my hair. "She lied to me," I whispered. "Lied in order to get me back here."
At this point, I wasn't sure what was bothering me more, the fact that Jason was here in town or the fact that she'd lied about it.
"I'm sorry, Kal, I had no clue," Jeremy told me.
"I believe you," I sighed.
I'd noticed that Matt had been silent the whole time, eyes watching me closely.
"You gonna keep watching me or are to going to say hi?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in question.
"Heh, sorry," he said nervously, moving over and wrapping an arm around me.
"Always the quite one," I laughed, trying to calm myself down.
"Why don't I get you a drink?" Matt offered.
"Sorry, but you're still not old enough kid," I told him, moving to the bar my own self.
Perhaps I should have a drink, maybe level everything out?
"Water?" the bartender assumed.
"Um, no, how about a long island ice tea?" I suggested, sitting down on a stool.
"Someone's feeling bold tonight?" I heard from behind me, turning to find Damon stand there, a smirk on his face as he took a seat beside me.
"Sorry, but I'm not in that great of a mood right now Mr. Salvatore," I told him.
"Boyfriend trouble?" he assumed.
I narrowed my eyes at the question.
"That's none of your business. Besides, I have no boyfriend anymore," I him, standing from my stool and looking elsewhere. "I haven't in nearly five years."
"Someone's frigid," he snickered in a joking manner.
I nearly turned and smacked him for that one, but his eyes stopped me, freezing me in my spot.
"Don't even think about it," he told me, taking a step closer. "Besides, I was joking."
"You were only joking," I repeated lowly, blinking afterward.
"You don't take jokes very well, do you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in question.
"Not really…"
I heard him sigh after that.
"Here's your drink," he said, picking the glass up from the counter and holding it out to me.
"Thanks," I muttered, taking it from him.
I took a quick drink after that, eyes screwing shut as it burned its way down my throat. I coughed, leaning forward slightly.
"Okay, perhaps that's not such a good idea," Damon said, taking it from my hand and placing it back down on the counter. "Virgin sunrise for the lady," Damon ordered, a smirk on his face.
"Shut up," I muttered, sitting back down in my seat.
I didn't look at him though as I sat there, eyes still closed. I never did deal with stress very well and Elena had gone and made it worse.
"So…" Damon started, leaning back against the counter. "What's got your panties in a twist?" he asked.
I was too tired to argue with him about, so I just decided it'd be better to talk.
"Ever had someone you cared about lie to you?" I asked.
"More times than I care to remember," he told me.
"Ever been a time where the lie was so bad that it felt like you would suffocate?" I asked, turning toward him.
He sat there for a moment, contemplating whether to say anything or not. Not that I blamed him, I'd probably be wary too.
"Yes," he finally said, nodding his head.
"That's why I'm like this," I explained, burying my face in my hands. "I left…left to get away from everything."
"Go on," he said, coxing me to continue.
It was like his voice compelled me to continue, so I did without putting too much thought into it.
"So much happened between me and Jason, so much…crap," I sighed.
"Did he ever physically hurt you?" Damon asked, continuing to pry.
T
Damon watched as she flinched at the question, hands shaking slightly as her right went to grasp her left wrist.
So that was it, she'd had her wrist broken. It was all too obvious.
"Why'd you stay?" he asked, voice holding a tone of annoyance.
Since she didn't have her necklace on, he could compel her as much as he wanted to for answers. It'd just be easier for him if she was willing to spill, to tell him what it was that he was looking for. Surprisingly though, the answer that came next wasn't from being compelled.
"I don't know," she sighed. "I thought…I thought it was just an accident the first time," she whispered, though he still heard it. "He got drunk one night, came over angry."
"And your parents let him?" he asked skeptically.
She paused for a moment, hands curling.
"It was my apartment, so no."
This caught his interest, but he'd worry about that later. He already knew some of what he needed, he just didn't know everything yet, and what he hated most of all was being left in the dark about things.
"Continue," he pushed, glancing around him for a moment to make sure that he wasn't being watched.
If Stefan were to walk in and find him, it would ruin everything.
"He was just having a rough time. His parents getting a divorce didn't help matter either and he…" she paused. "He snapped."
"More like snapping your wrist?" he assumed.
Her head shot up in response, staring at him with wide, scared eyes.
"How?"
"I'm…observant," he told her, leaning forward and pressing the mixture of orange and grenadine into her hands.
A second later, the sound of Elena's voice met their ears, a faint hiss escaping Damon's throat.
T
"Kali, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jason," Elena apologized, taking hold of my hands and giving them a small squeeze.
I shook my head, standing up from my seat. I allowed my eyes to travel over to Jeremy, watching as he played pool with Matt. He looked somewhat content.
"I quit my job Elena," I told her. "I quit my job to come here because you asked me to."
"Kali," she tried, but I continued.
"You told me he was gone," I nearly choked out.
"I know and I'm sorry, but Jeremy needs you," she told me, voice desperate.
"And I need my sanity," I told her, pulling away from the hands that clutched at mine.
I carefully moved around her, passing Stefan as I went. His eyes looked sad for some reason. He didn't know me, so why would he be sad?
"Kali, wait, please?" Elena begged, but I shook my head.
"You don't understand Elena, I left for a reason," I told her, roughly running a hand through my hair, my bangs falling to the side. "I left because it wasn't safe for me here!"
She looked at me, eyes slightly wide. Did she not comprehend that? All the drugs, the alcohol, all the anger. That was why I'd left. I only came back because I couldn't bare the thought of Jeremy heading down a similar path. I wanted to try and take his pain away, fix the problem, end the drug and alcohol use. I couldn't bare letting him tear his life apart like that. He was just too young for that.
"I only came back because I didn't want to see him end up the same way," I said, pointing over in Jeremy's direction. "I couldn't live with myself if I let him destroy himself with all the drugs and alcohol," I cried, wiping at my face.
I knew that some of what I said probably hurt a bit, but at the moment, I didn't care.
"You have no clue, Elena, no clue," I told her, before turning back to the front and walking away.
I just walked away, leaving her standing there with Stefan. I didn't even notice Damon's departure as I went, pushing open the doors and letting them swing such behind me, the cool evening air hitting my face. What was even worse, I didn't realize who had seen me as I left. I didn't realize the trouble that I'd just landed myself in.
Okay everyone, that was chapter 3. I really hope that everyone liked it. I hope I'm not making Damon seem OOC or whatever it's called. As well all knew, Damon doesn't like being left in the dark and if something catches his interest, he goes after it. Same goes if he tries to use something against Stefan. Please, let me know what you think? IDEAS are ALWAYS WELCOMED.
I need REVIEWs to keep writing people, so PLEASE REVIEW and MESSAGE me with your thoughts, ideas, and feeling on this story/chapter? If ANYONE has any SONG IDEAS for me to use, I'd love to hear them. Thanks everyone!