I love the dead men and I always wanted to do a story about what it would be like if hopeless and Larkin were alive. Hopeless is described as a man with one name and many faces so I feel that Derek is being sneaky and that hopeless is a shapeshifter. Larkin was harder, people have said that he can heal himself (like darquesse but it's a rare adept gift.) but he forgets this at times. He can also control plants and animals. This means when hopeless shifts into an animal Larkin can control him.
Valkyrie grinned. It had been 6 months since Larkin and Hopeless appeared back from the dead. They had to hide when serpine started hunting them during the war so hopeless shifted their reflections so they were more realistic. They had hidden and when the war was over the men had tried to find the others but they were still being hunted. Skulduggery and Valkyrie had seen them running from the guys that the two of them were tracking.
When skulduggery saw Larkin after they had taken them down he had pulled out his gun.
"Who are you." He has said it with cold fury in his voice.
It had shocked Valkyrie because she had never seen him before.
"Skulduggery? Is that really you? Please say it is. Please." The man had begged.
"You can't be. I saw you die. I went to your funeral. I watched Anton mourn for years."
Valkyrie was worried now. "Skulduggery who is he?"
When she spoke the man looked at her. "You're Valkyrie Cain?"
"I asked a question."
"Larkin."
"How do you know skulduggery Larkin?" Valkyrie asked while skulduggery stood beside her stiffly. She had heard that name before but she couldn't figure out where.
"I worked with skulduggery during the war."
That's where she heard it. The others were always talking about Larkin and hopeless.
"Your Larkin? I thought you died."
"That was what we were going for but we got delayed finding our way back."
Skulduggery finally moved. He punched Larkin in the jaw.
"Took you bloody long enough!" He roared.
Larkin stumbled and laughed "I've got another surprise for you skul. Hopeless come on."
The big black dog that had laid down beside Larkin jumped up and bounded towards skulduggery changing as he did. when he was in front of skulduggery he was a man with shaggy black hair, blue eyes and a delighted smile.
"Bloody shapeshifter." Skulduggery muttered.
The man, hopeless, turned to Valkyrie and bowed "it's a pleasure to meet you miss Cain."
Valkyrie laughed "That was cool!"
Skulduggery stepped forwards "You need to go to the sanctuary."
After they were cleared they told Valkyrie and skulduggery everything that had happened and why they never contacted them.
"You've been on the run for over 100 years?"
Larkin laughed "It does sound ridiculous doesn't it."
Valkyrie, who had taken an instant liking to the two crazy men smirked "I just hope the others reactions are like skul's. I think you can still see the mark!" She leaned back against skulduggery and he moved slightly to let her. Hopeless and Larkin glanced at each other and smiled. (They wouldn't have been there to see them grow close so this would be pretty big.).
Valkyrie smiled sweetly at skulduggery "Can I go call the others?"
He sighed "Can you wait until we get back to your house?"
"I'll just tell them to meet us there! Ghastly had a spare key!"
"You want four rowdy men in your house alone?"
"Anton and Ghastly aren't as rowdy as the others. It's grand."
"I hope they find your photo album."
"I think we should wait until I make you bring us to my house. But I'm calling to tell them to cancel any 'appointments'."
"Fair enough."
Valkyrie grinned and bounded out of the room. Hopeless looked at skulduggery wistfully.
"What?" Skulduggery asked.
"You haven't been like that in a long time."
"Valkyrie Cain's like that. You love her or you hate her. You should be happy she likes you, she's not a person to cross."
"I can see that, but it's something else. Your relaxed with her. If anyone else was to lean against you you'd move." Hopeless said watching skulduggery.
"When she started speaking you focused only on her." Larkin added.
Skulduggery shrugged "I've known her for a very long time. And I knew her uncle before that. Gordon Edgley."
*"My ears are burning." Valkyrie muttered as she walked back into the room.
"Good! There's absolutely no reason to talk about you if you don't even know that we're doing it!" Larkin exclaimed.
Valkyrie sighed "I see why he's friends with you now. Are you done talking nonsense?"
Larkin grinned while hopeless changed into a black dog again (I'm thinking a cross of a German shepherd and a sheepdog.). He charged at Valkyrie but she put out her hand and said "HEAL!" sternly. Hopeless barked but didn't move.
"Did you just train hopeless with out powers?" Larkin asked astonished.
"I have a German at home."
Hopeless shifted back and scowled. "No fair!"
"Of course it's fair it's me." Valkyrie said smugly.
Hopeless jumped and tried to tackle Valkyrie to the ground but seeing what he was doing she side stepped and knocked his legs under him.
Skulduggery tilted his head and said "I hope you realise that she has had to deal with Dexter Vex and Sacren Rue for years."
Hopeless got up muttering about being beat by a 26 year old. Valkyrie walked over and helped him up but once he was standing she knocked him down again and sat on him.
"Continue your conversation." She looked at hopeless. "I might only be 26 but I have beaten my fair share of grown men and women. I don't like people complaining about me beating them."
"I'm very sorry can I stand up?"
"I don't know it didn't sound genuine.."
That's how the two elders found them. Larkin, Valkyrie and skulduggery having a conversation while Valkyrie sat on hopeless and hopeless sulked.
"Do you have to make a fool of every man you meet?" China asked.
"I haven't made a fool of Larkin!... yet" Valkyrie said standing and bowing deeply "grand Mage Sorrows, Elder Bliss."
Bliss sighed "Detectives. So is it true that another two of you have risen from the dead?"
"What can we say, we're hard to put down.." Valkyrie said "not that I haven't tried to kill Sacren and Dexter."
"I'm touched that I'm not on that list…" Skulduggery started but Valkyrie interrupted him,
"Your dead. If I was annoyed with you I'd let xeana have you."
Larkin and hopeless watched skulduggery and Valkyrie before turning to the elders.
"I'm Hopeless, this is Larkin." Hopeless told them everything while skulduggery and Valkyrie stood, Valkyrie against skulduggery waiting. When they had finished they said their goodbyes and to Larkin and hopeless's surprise China gave Valkyrie a small hug before sweeping out of the room.
"Did you just hug China Sorrows?" Larkin asked shocked.
"I'm good friends with China."
"Not surprised. Your both beautiful and deadly." Hopeless muttered.
"What can I say? I'm a very impressive person." Valkyrie grinned "Now come on! I want to see the lads faces!"
Skulduggery and hopeless started walking to the door but Larkin hesitated.
"Come on Larkin, shudder will want to see you after all this time." Skulduggery said kindly, "he's missed you."
Larkin lit up at the last bit "He has?"
"Your reflection saved him. He nearly killed serpine after."
When they got to Valkyrie's house the men looked shocked.
"Damn girl even your house is impressive!"
Valkyrie smirked but kept walking towards the house.
"How does a 26 year old afford this?"
"Her uncle left her his house and royalties in his will. He died when she was 12."
They went into the house. Skulduggery seemed to be here a lot because when he walked he picked up Valkyrie's coat and hung it up and then put his beside it.
"Valkyrie?"
"Kitchen!"
Skulduggery walked down the hall the other two behind him. Now that Valkyrie had her jacket off you could see her muscles.
"All of the lads have clothes here, do you want to change?"
"Sure."
Valkyrie walked out of the room and came back with an armful of clothes.
"I just took one of everyone's. If you need more just tell me."
The others took the clothes and she went to the fridge.
"Uh Valkyrie? Where will we change?"
"First of all you can call me Val and second skul's going to show you."
"Am I?"
"You are. I need to make food for three people and I haven't made stuff for more than one in ages."
"True. Fine come on."
Skulduggery walked ahead and once Valkyrie was out of earshot hopeless laughed.
"You're so soft with her! If someone had done that before you wouldn't have moved an inch."
Skulduggery stopped outside a room and opened the door.
"I haven't 'gone soft'. Now get in and get changed. Oh and hopeless if you don't stop eyeing up my partner I will shot you."
"Not gone soft?" Larkin asked.
"He doesn't know her."
"And you do?"
"I've known her since she was 12 and being hunted by serpine. She didn't want to leave this world once. She was only a child and she went into serpine's castle to save me when I was captured. So yes I have a soft spot for her."
"She sure as hell knows how to make an impression anyways." Larkin said.
"I've seen her grow up and I've seen her stay and fight where so many others would run, so I will shoot you hopeless."
Skulduggery walked back to the kitchen.
"Hey what's up?" She asked.
"Nothing just telling the lads about my amazing partner." Skulduggery said walking up.
Valkyrie grinned but kept her head down over what she was cooking.
"Steak and veg?"
"I'm lazy. And all men like steak."
"That they do." Hopeless said walking in topless. "Do you have another one of dexter's tops?"
"Sure over here." Valkyrie said not even blinking at hopeless. "There."
"Val your steak."
Valkyrie cursed and ran to the pan.
"Language!" Skulduggery said.
"English!" Valkyrie shot back flipping the steak.
Larkin laughed as he walked in. Hopeless dragged the t-shirt over his head and leaned over to Larkin.
"Did you see how close they were?"
"Yes but skul said nothing's going on and I trust him."
When the others got there they had finished and were sitting in the living room. Skulduggery and Valkyrie sat on one couch Valkyrie snuggled down beside skulduggery.
Hopeless looked at them and rolled his eyes. Valkyrie jumped suddenly and ran out of the room. Larkin raised an eyebrow to skulduggery. He sighed.
"Valkyrie's powers are different to ours. She can shoot white lightning, make orbs or as she calls them bubbles of white energy and see other peoples auras and magic. She has probably saw one of the others."
Valkyrie bounded into the room and sat back in her place.
"I opened the door for them. It's Sacren and Dexter."
"You can tell who they are?"
Valkyrie nodded her eyes slightly unfocused. "Your aura is a swirling orange and a colour like Anton's…" she swayed slightly her hands grasping at the couch.
Skulduggery placed his hand on hers. "It's ok Val. Look."
She looked at his hand, her other one reaching out as if touching something else. She blinked and turned to Larkin "Sorry. I'm still trying to fix that."
"What happened?"
"When I focus too hard non-magic things start to blur. Skulduggery is made out of magic. I can only really see him when it happens….."
She turned to hopeless still holding onto skulduggery's hand.
"Your auras strange.. It's rainbow coloured… Can you shift please?"
"Um yeah what?"
"Anything you don't use often."
Hopeless shifted into a dove and Valkyrie nodded "Ok shift back."
He turned back and Valkyrie spoke "because you're a shapeshifter the animals you become most often affect your personality, when you became a bird your aura shifted the colours changing."
She blinked a few times and stood up. Skulduggery stood up with her and held onto her as she stumbled. When she could stand she left the room to get more food and call the others.
Skulduggery watched her go and turned to the other two
"You can't tell anyone about that. She trusts you."
"Skulduggery their here!" Valkyrie yelled from the hall.
Skulduggery strode out of the room and they could see him come up to her and wrap an arm around her and leaning in.
"Oh are we interrupting?" a familiar voice teased.
"Want me to send xeana after you again?" Valkyrie teased back no sign that she could have nearly passed out a minute ago.
Another voice laughed.
"Go into the kitchen and stay there. Got it?"
"Yes miss Cain." The two voices said together.
Valkyrie leaned into the room "guys stay here and be quite."
In the kitchen Dexter and Sacren were in a corner whispering and smirking.
"Anyone ever tell you it's rude to whisper?" Valkyrie asked sitting on the counter and opening a bag of crisps. "Or are we interrupting?"
Dexter burst out laughing "We aren't the couple here!"
"Oh who's the couple here then?"
"For detectives your pretty bad at figuring things."
"For ex black ops your bad liars."
"That was harsh. And you were one too."
"Yeah but I'm a good liar. I've kept lots of secrets."
Valkyrie turned her head quickly making Dexter jump.
"Aww did I scare you?"
"Yes. It's creepy when you do that suddenly then just walk out. Your worse than Sacren. At least he says something before hand."
"Well Anton and ghastly have come, so I'll be back."
She left and Dexter turned to skulduggery. "Who was here?"
"What?"
"There's three plates in the sink and you've been watching Valkyrie even more than usual."
"She was just practicing her magic again." He said listening to them walking in.
"Skulduggery!" Ghastly roared from the hall.
Skulduggery ran down the hall and saw Valkyrie on her knees hands over her eyes.
"KITCHEN NOW!" He roared kneeling beside her.
"Valkyrie, Valkyrie it's ok. Look I'm here. Deep breaths. Good girl that's it. Look see my hand. Take my hand Valkyrie I'll make it better." He said softly "I'm going to pick you up Valkyrie. Keep focusing on me. That's it."
He walked into the kitchen holding Valkyrie and put her on the counter.
"First aid kit now."
Someone put it on the counter and he opened it. There they were.
"I need you to hold her arms and legs."
They placed their hands on an arm and a leg each but when she felt people holding her she started trashing around viciously.
Skulduggery leaned over "It's ok Val it's us your safe."
She relaxed slightly but skulduggery sighed and quickly injected her. She went limp and skulduggery picked her up. "I'm bringing her to her room. Stay here."
Skulduggery left and the others slumped.
"She keeps straining herself." Ghastly said.
"What happened?" Sacren asked.
"I don't know she just started staring at me and then her eyes glazed over and she fell." Shudder explained.
Skulduggery came back downstairs.
"Valkyrie wanted to be here for this but I can't keep you out here forever so here it is…" He told them everything. By the end of it all of them were looking confused.
"Skul they're dead."
"We were very convincing." Larkin said from the living room door.
The men whipped around. Shudder punched Larkin.
"Why don't any of you punch hopeless!"
"Where's hopeless?"
A big black dog pinned Sacren on the ground and licked him.
"Hopeless shove off!" Sacren yelled.
Larkin laughed "Hopeless come on."
Hopeless jumped off Sacren changing into a man as he did. Anton stayed glaring at Larkin but her punched hopeless as he changed.
"Thank you."
Shudder grabbed the smaller mage by the collar and dragged him out of the room.
"We better make sure he doesn't murder Larkin…"
They stepped out and saw Anton pin Larkin against the wall and kiss him. They all moved backwards into the kitchen.
"I don't think Anton's going to kill him." Dexter muttered.
When Larkin came back in his shirt was ruffled and his hair was all over the place. Anton walked in looking just like he did when he left.
"Your not dead." Ghastly said. They had decided not to say anything.
Anton looked at them and shrugged. He then leaned over to Larkin and kissed him again.
"What gave it away?"
"You let Dexter and Sacren stand at the back and they didn't want to pretend."
Larkin grinned "Val's awake by the way."
"What did you do?"
"They didn't do anything. I just interrupted them." Valkyrie said from the doorway.
Skulduggery moved towards her "Your not meant to be out of bed." He said sweeping her up in his arms. "Come on."
"I don't have a choice you have litterly swept me off my feet."
"Good."
While the others watched skulduggery carried Valkyrie to her room.
"Well we won't see him for a while!"
"Ok I have to ask, what is up with them?" Hopeless asked.
"Ah yes the skulduggery pleasant/ Valkyrie Cain problem. You've noticed too then."
"They've known each other for a long time. They've saved each other, skulduggery knows everything about Valkyrie and Valkyrie knows everything about skulduggery. I mean everything, things we don't even know."
"Skulduggery said that they were close but they always seem to be flirting or like their in love."
"They don't see it as that. They trust each other completely. They think we're being ridiculous when we say it. I think they're afraid."
"Why?"
"Skulduggery has known Val since she was 12. They don't want people getting the wrong idea. And anyways skulduggery has always had a problem with age. He thinks it's wrong to go out with a sorcerer who still looks their age."
"And I'm a skeleton." Skulduggery said from the door his arms crossed. "Why don't you talk about an actual relationship? Like Larkin and shudder. You need to catch up on some insults for him."
"You've thought about it though haven't you?"
"Shudder.."
"I kissed Larkin in front of all of you. Why can't you just say it? She cares about you just as much."
"Because I'm a 400+ skeleton! She deserves more!"
"You're an Idiot!" Dexter said leaning against the counter.
"I agree but why are you yelling?" A bemused Valkyrie asked from the door.
"I feel like your not respecting my authority." Skulduggery said.
"I'm not. Now answer me."
Skulduggery shook his head and grabbed Valkyrie around the waist carrying her out to the hall. The others followed listening to Valkyrie's death threats and protests.
"Just say it!" Valkyrie hollered.
"No Valkyrie now please sleep before I have to make you."
"No! I can't! I won't! Put me down!"
Skulduggery sighed but kept going.
"Xeana! Here now!"
Xeana ran into the room.
"Larkin if you wouldn't mind.." Skulduggery said as he walked.
"Larkin if you control my dog I will fry you."
Larkin hesitated but Valkyrie was still pale and he knew that all the men cared deeply about her so he waved his hand sending xeana back to her bed. Valkyrie growled but stopped struggling.
"Traitors. That's one story for each of you. I have ones for you two as well." She said as skulduggery lifted her up bridle style to go up the stairs.
"That's mean dear Valkyrie. We only want to help you." Skulduggery said quietly as he carried her. She slumped into his chest.
"I don't like being weak. I have to be strong. I can't be strong if I can't even control my magic."
"Your magic is very strong Valkyrie. Others would have struggled much more. You are strong but you can trust us to help you when you need it."
"I trust them. I trust you skul. But your always strong. You never waver. I couldn't see but I knew that ghastly and Anton were there and would help because they're strong and would know what to do. Because I couldn't help myself."
"I couldn't help myself when you came through that portal but you knew what to do. You pulled me out of hell. You didn't waver once. Because you are strong. Now stay here or else." He finished laying her on the bed.
"Don't go. Please? Just until I fall asleep?"
"Of course."
The men watched as skulduggery quietly said something to Valkyrie making her slump into his chest.
"She's too stubborn for her own good." Ghastly sighed.
Shudder sighed and walked into the living room. The others followed him in. They caught up and discussed different things.
"What do you know about darquesse?" Ghastly asked a while later.
"We don't know much. Back just after that whole death bringer thing we got caught and we didn't escape until when skul and Val found us. That's what confused me about Valkyrie. She was a necromancer and an elemental last I heard."
"Yeah she was."
"What happened?"
"Valkyrie was darquesse. Darquesse was her true name but she was too strong and became her own person. She shared Valkyrie's head for years until she broke out."
"Broke out?"
"You have to understand that Valkyrie and darquesse are two different people stuck in one head fighting over control. Most of the time Valkyrie was in control but darquesse got out sometimes. After ravel betrayed us Valkyrie struggled to control her and in a moment of weakness she got through. when we separated darquesse from her she lost her magic. Or at lest until she managed to get caught in a magical explosion. It kind of filled her with magic and it kick started her surge."
"Valkyrie hid it from everyone?"
"No. Skulduggery knew and the remnants found out."
"Skulduggery knew and he said nothing?"
"He'd sacrifice the world to save her."
Hopeless shirted into a dove and started flying around the room.
Larkin leaned back and laughed. "I've had to deal with this for 100+ years. Enjoy."
Shudder sighed as hopeless fluttered around his head twittering. Hopeless dropped becoming a small black cat and curled up on a cushion. He then jumped becoming a dog, then a panther, then a tiger. He padded out of the room going to the kitchen.
The others followed laughing quietly.
"Anyone hungry?"
Shudder turned and walked into the living room muttering about 4 year olds. Larkin laughed and followed.
"We don't want to walk in on anything. Got it?"
"Shut it Dexter."
Skulduggery walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen.
"Is she ok?"
"She's fine. The attention seeker."
Ghastly started laughing so hard he leaned on Dexter to stop himself from falling.
"You big hypocrite!"
"I don't know what your talking about."
"Of course not."
Skulduggery nodded and sat down. A tiger walked into the room with a sandwich in his mouth.
"Hello hopeless." Skulduggery sighed.
The tiger meowed and sat down shifting into a person again.
"Why were you up there so long?"
"I was making sure she actually slept."
They kept talking and an hour later Valkyrie came down mumbling about a headache and coffee. She threw herself onto a couch and glared at them until she had a cup of coffee and painkillers.
"You should become the third elder. You could keep the biggest rouges in line with that glare." Ghastly muttered handing her some painkillers.
"I already keep the biggest rouges in line, I don't think a 26 year old would be very welcome and thank you."
Later that evening the others started talking about going.
"Stay over here tonight and go home tomorrow. I have enough rooms." Valkyrie said.
Skulduggery tilted his head "No you don't. You only have seven rooms… Oh."
"What oh?"
"Seven rooms all with double beds. She's making you share."
"Or hopeless could shift and sleep down here."
"There's only five because none of you are sleeping in Tanith's and I'm not sharing either." Valkyrie said strictly.
"Not even me?" Hopeless asked turning into a small cat.
"No. When it comes to you lot I always get my own room. Or tent.."
"Well who's sharing?"
"I think we should vote."
"Fine pick people to share."
Dexter laughed "Anton and Larkin!"
"Anyone else ok with sharing a room?"
"How about you and skulduggery?"
"Was that what you were shouting about again? " Valkyrie sighed.
"Never!"
"Anton and Larkin it is." Valkyrie said turning.
"No! We're voting remember."
"Everybody for Anton and Larkin?"
Three hands went up.
"Really ghastly?"
"I hated you lot being pushy on me so no."
"Hands up for Val and skulduggery?"
All other hands went up.
"Did you not hear me when I said I don't share?" Valkyrie muttered storming up the stairs.
"Nope!"
Bad ending. Like completely horrible. But I've always shipped shuderkin and if your wondering Larkin's first name is rover but only a few people know it and no one knows Hopeless's second name.