Ok, so I'm doing my best to keep everyone happy and I decided to post one long chapter and two short chapters. Five chapters based on one night just seemed a little much. Hope you are all pleased! Thanks for your input!

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Refugee

Chapter Fourteen

"The lunatic is in my head.

You raise the blade, you make the change.

You rearrange me 'till I'm sane.

You lock the door

And throw away the key.

There's someone in my head, but it's not me."

-"Brain Damage" by Pink Floyd

For the next hour, her words resounded through my head like a broken record. In fact, I hadn't spoken a word to her since. The four of us were outside, each smoking a cigarette and getting carried away in conversation. I was surprised to find that Jimmy and Katie were getting along as well as they were, even seemed to be flirtin' with each other. Molly and Merle were talking about their preference of Jack Daniels over Crown Royal, but I could tell that Merle was more interested in what was going on with the brunette talking to his best friend.

"Hey, Molly!" Katie called out across the yard.

Molly whipped her head around and took a drag of her cigarette.

"Would you be upset if we left?"

"You're leaving already?"

"Yeah, um, well...you know..."

Molly winked and shook her head. "Yeah, I know. Go on, Promiscuous Polly."

Katie and Jimmy giggled out loud like two school children. Enough to make me wanna vomit, and by look on Merle's face, him too.

"Hey, Merle, Daryl, I'll catch you guys tomorrow." Jimmy called out as he headed to Katie's car parked on the side of the road. Katie rushed over to Molly and gave her a tight hug before she scampered off herself. "Happy birthday!" They called out of the window before disappearing down the street.

"Damn. I guess they couldn't wait." She said, stomping on her cigarette with her red heel.

"I'ma head out too. See what the ol' lady's up to." Merle took the last sip from his cup and reached his hand into his pocket, pulling out his keys.

"Hell no." I answered. "You've had more ta drink than all a us combined. Yer ass ain't drivin' nowhere tonight." Without hesitation, I walked over to him and yanked his keys right out of his hand.

"C'mon, now. Gimme my keys 'for I whip yer ass. Ain't in no mood ta play games tonight." He slurred most of his words, but years of experience made it easy for me to understand what was said.

"I ain't givin' you yer keys. You can be mad all ya want, but it ain't happenin'."

"Gimme my fuckin' keys, dickhead. Don't make me kick yer fuckin' teeth in in front a the birthday girl."

I didn't respond, but instead turned on my heel and walked inside to look for a place to hide the keys. Should'a paid more attention to the sound of rushing footsteps behind me, 'cause the next thing I knew I landed face-down on the hard concrete of my porch. I stood to my feet quickly in a sudden fit of rage and turned around to find Merle stumbling halfway down the steps.

"The fuck is wrong with you? Chill the fuck out. I ain't lettin' you drive nowhere. Go inside and calm the fuck down. You'll thank my ass tomorrow mornin' when yer ass ain't dead in ditch." I could feel my heart start to race.

I glanced down at Molly, who was still standing in the yard, with both hands covering her mouth, looking scared half to death.

"I'ma tell you one more time ta gimme my keys boy, or I'ma paint the goddamn town red with yer blood."

"I'ma tell you one more time. You ain't getting' these goddamn keys till you wake up tomorrow mornin'."

And just like that, he swung. He swung and hit me pretty damn hard in my mouth and I could feel my lip begin to swell immediately as I stumbled into the wall. The familiar taste of copper dropped on the tip of my tongue.

"Merle, quit!" Molly called out, rushing to my side.

"Listen, sugar tits, you need ta be runnin' on inside now. Ain't tryin' to ruin yer day for ya."

I was surprised that she stood directly in between my drunk, dumb-fuck brother and I. "I'm not playin' with you, Merle Dixon. Don't you lay another hand on him."

Without another word, Merle shoved her to the side and she landed hard on her bottom. Immediately, he looked as if he regretted doing so but I didn't give him much time to think.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" I shoved him back, sending him falling backwards down the stairs. I was pissed, but also thankful that he didn't hit his head on the concrete. "I don't know what the fuck yer problem is, brother, but just 'cause some girl didn't feel like fuckin' you tonight doesn't mean you get to act like a little bitch and take your anger out on everyone else. Go the fuck to sleep. I'm done with you tonight." And with that, I helped Molly off of the ground and into the house. Merle ended up falling asleep right where he lay within minutes.

"I'm really sorry for that. He shouldn'ta put his hands on you. You alright?"

"I'm okay." She chewed on her lip for a moment. "I have a brother. I know how it is."

"You do?" I asked, fixing the two of us a cup of iced water.

"Mhm. Danny. Four years older than me, which means I was pretty much a punching bag for most of the time I lived at home. Used to play football with him and his friends in the front yard every Saturday afternoon too. It always got pretty rough."

"Still," I took a swallow and handed her her own glass. "Should'a never touched you tonight."

She hopped up casually on the counter behind me and told me to turn around and come closer. I did as she asked and positioned myself in between her two legs and was gentleman enough not to peek at what she had under her short dress. But you know like hell I wanted to.

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I watched as she dug her small hand into the cup and pulled out a medium-size piece of ice and pressed the tip of the cube onto my swollen lip. I winced in pain at the initial chill, but after a moment or two it felt much better.

A good two minutes had gone by and neither of us had said a word to each other. My lip was still a little sore, and I figured the less talkin', the better. Be honest. Not like you'd know what the hell ta say anyway. She stood still with the piece of ice still pressed to my lip and the cup underneath it as the water began to drip consistently faster.

I found myself lost in my own thoughts. Ain't never had a girl take care a me in my whole life. Hell, not even my own mama wanted to give me a comforting touch. This is the first time I had ever felt what it was like to be soothed by a woman and I sure like it.

At the same time, it scared me to death.

"That feel a little better?" She asked, dropping the small remaining piece into the cup.

I nodded my head and licked the coolness of my lip. She looked down at me and I stared straight back. For the first time, I found myself able to look at her and not allow my anxiety or shitty self-confidence ruin a perfectly fine moment. Her emerald green eyes glared at me, and her dewy skin looked like a thousand diamonds underneath the kitchen light. She looked softer than silk, and I had an overwhelming desire to touch her.

I stroked my shaky fingers up and down the smoothness of her arm, and it caught both of us off guard. I watched the accelerated rise and fall of her chest as she breathed right in front of me and her nostrils began to flare with what I figured was excitement.

She didn't say a single word, but grabbed my hand instead and cupped it to the side of her face. Swiftly, she lowered her head and nuzzled into the rough callousness of the palm of my hand. My heart sounded like a loud drum in my head, and I swallowed a large amount of desire for the girl sitting in front of me.

Suddenly, the house was so quiet I guarantee you could hear the sound of a pin drop.

I lowered my gaze to her lips and lightly licked my own. It was blatantly obvious that I was thinkin' about kissin' her, but I didn't care. I took my time, lowering and inching my face closer to hers until I was met by that sweet cherry lip balm that I had been dying to taste again. She proved to be eager for my tongue this time, as she didn't hesitate to open her mouth and invite me in. My heart began to race faster than a speeding bullet as I heard a light sigh escape from her mouth. The corner of my lip was starting to hurt like hell again but I quickly reminded myself I couldn't give a fuck less.

I dropped my hands to her hips, caressing her soft, tanned skin as she sucked forcefully on the tip of my tongue. I kissed all the way from her lips, to the salty skin of her neck, and finally stopped at the tip of her collarbone where I gently flicked my tongue in the shape of soft circles. She moaned again, though this time much louder, and I felt myself harden under the pressure. Suddenly, my head started spinning and I began to panic, just like I always do. I'ont know what the hell I'm s'posed to do with myself and all these stupid, goddamn thoughts. Regretfully, I pulled away and hung my head. Succumbing to the deep, dark pit of over-analyzation.

Molly sat still, her chest still panting and the flustered skin of her neck and mouth now looked a rosy shade of pink. She furrowed her brow in confusion, and immediately looked as if she was about to cry. I felt like a true asshole. Especially when she jumped down off the counter and ran out the front door all the way to her house.

I settled my hands on my hips and hung my head, staring blankly at the ceiling. I was surprised I hadn't fallen over yet as the moonshine had now quickly and suddenly caught up to me. I felt like throwing up. Because I drank too much, because I made my friend cry, and because for the millionth time this week, I had fucked up a perfectly good moment that had the potential to take me outta this shit hole of life, even for just a moment.

I stumbled to the master bathroom and firmly gripped the cold, porcelain sink. I forced myself to stare at my reflection, and whether I liked what I saw or not I refused to turn away. I first noticed my split lip, then a few droplets of blood stains on my navy blue button-down. I noticed my blood-shot cerulean blue eyes. Then I stared a little harder. I noticed a grown man who had never felt the love of anyone but his own brother for his entire life. A man who, deep down, had a lot of love to give but was scared to death of giving it to the wrong person. So he seemingly sabotages his own shot at happiness every single chance he gets.

The last thing I noticed was the man I didn't want to be anymore.