They rode through the night, stopping only to water and rest the horses and of course, check on Ezra. Seeing that he seemed to be able to get some needed rest, they left him alone. First light saw them pulling to a stop again, with JD repeating the watering procedure for the horses, as well as refilling their own canteens. Buck pulled out the cactus mash, ready to treat Ezra again.

"We should be home real soon now Ezra, and Nathan will fix this all up right for you. Ezra? Ezra can you hear me?"

"Buck, what's wrong?"

"He won't wake up?"

JD dropped the canteen and hurried over. "He ain't…"

"No, he's breathing, but it's real shallow. Sweating something fierce too."

"Think he was like that all night and we just didn't see it?"

"No, he wasn't like this. That was sleep. Or at least a real good rest. This is more."

"You think maybe he was hurt when he got thrown? Something wrong inside?"

"Hard to say. He may not have even noticed the way this was causing so much pain."

"How much more do you think he can take Buck?"

"Wouldn't have guessed he could handle as much as he has, so I couldn't answer that."

"Should we let him rest more or get moving?"

"Don't think we have much choice. Sooner we get him home, the better."

They picked up their pace as much as they thought he, and the horses, could handle. By midmorning, the landscape was more familiar and a short while later JD got the approval he wanted to race ahead home.

"Let Nathan know everything." Buck prayed the healer wasn't off on some other mission. "Tell them not to bother riding out. Nothing they can do here." JD was about to surge ahead when Buck called to him. "Tell them he's gone quiet, real quiet. Not sure that's good."

"Simply conserving my strength Mr. Wilmington." Ezra's faint voice startled them both.

"Oh thank God. Good to hear you Ez. You've been scaring us half to death here." Buck answered him.

"My apologies for the unintended side effect of my actions. I did not consider the consequences."

"You just keep resting Ezra. I'll see you when you get back to town."

"I thank you for all your efforts on my behalf Mr. Dunne. I have no doubt I did not make things go easy, and undoubtedly said things I shall regret when I can remember them."

"I wrote a few them down." JD grinned in relief to hear Ezra's voice. "Can't wait for you to explain them to me."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Josiah and Chris were waiting at the foot of the clinic stairs when Buck rode up. It was clear they were both forth forcing themselves to stay calm as they approached. "We'll get him upstairs." Chris said quietly.

"Where the hell is Nathan?"

"Relax Buck, he's upstairs getting stuff ready." Josiah moved closer to Ezra. He blanched even further on seeing the flushed face, clenched in pain and glistening with sweat. "Hang in there, son. Nathan's gonna fix you up. He'll get some laudanum in you and then –"

"No. No laudanum."

"Ezra, I know you don't like the stuff - hell it makes all of us nauseous." Chris responded. "But there are times it's needed, and this is definitely one of them." He'd encountered those spikes once himself and could feel for the gambler now.

"No!" he repeated with more strength than they would have guessed he had. "I can't."

"We'll talk to Nathan about it when we get you up there."

"No, Mr. Larabee. Chris. Please. I may well be unconscious by the time I am relegated to his care. Do not let him give me that – that –" he dropped his head back, exhausted by the outburst.

"Been a burden on you in the past, hasn't it?" Josiah realized what Ezra was trying not to tell them.

"In a world of experiences that I choose not to brag about, that is decidedly not my proudest story."

"Relax Ezra. We'll explain it to Nathan."

"Thank you." Ezra again worked on focusing on anything other than what was happening as they transported him up the stairs. His prediction had been right, and he was oblivious to all around him by the time they'd settled him in. Nathan took one look and reached for the laudanum, stopping when Chris grabbed his arm.

"He doesn't want it."

"Too bad, he needs it." Nathan pulled free.

"No. He really doesn't." Nathan was about to argue when he saw the look on Chris's face and understanding clicked in.

"Damn. He have a problem with it during the war?"

"Don't know. Don't know how bad it was either. But he's more afraid of that than he is of the pain, so I say we let him win this one."

"Not sure as I'd call it winning."

Buck handed him a small tin. "We've been putting this on him along the way. Pulp from the cactus – seemed to help some."

"Good thinking," Chris smiled. "That's some relief anyway."

Nathan nodded. "I'll treat him again. Gonna need you two in about 10 minutes to help keep him still when I start working on get those outta him." He looked to Chris and Josiah who both nodded.

"You can use all of us."

"No, Buck. You and JD need to rest."

"I'm fine, but you do need to check his leg when you've got done with Ezra."

"Already looked at it. It'll be fine. Buck, you're exhausted. You done right by Ezra, now let us finish this up."

Chris took his friend by the arm and led him out. "I'll be back in a couple minutes." He said over his shoulder. Wordlessly, he guided Buck down the stairs and outside. "He's right, you're done in."

"He needs –"

"We can handle what he needs. You gotta rest Buck."

"I should take care of the horses."

"Tiny's got that. Said he'd be proud to take care of Chaucer. I think Ezra's one of the few humans that Tiny likes."

"Tiny likes anyone who cares about his horse. So yeah – Ezra's one of his favourites." Buck's voice shook as he spoke. "Damn Chris, I've never seen anyone hurting like that. Every time we touched him – moved him. Damn."

"I can only imagine how he reacted."

"That's just it Chris. I don't think you can. Most of the time he was – almost calm." Chris looked sceptical. "Yeah, I know. But I don't know what else to call it. I mean sure, he yelled and cursed some along the ride back. But not nearly so much as you'd think. And for the rest of the time he was, well like I said, almost calm."

"Unconscious." Chris corrected.

"No, don't think so." Buck leaned against the wall and sagged slightly. "Don't know how he got himself through it, and the rest is just gonna be harder."

"He's tougher than he lets on you know."

"I know it now."

"Go. Get some sleep. Nathan already sent JD home. You can sit with Ezra later on."

"Vin out on patrol?"

"Don't worry about that Buck. Go to bed." Chris started back to Nathan's, then turned again. "I mean your bed Buck. Go get some sleep."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Josiah walked slowly down the stairs. Nathan had tried to reassure them that Ezra was now resting comfortably, but Josiah couldn't imagine how that was possible. Like the others, he'd encountered the pain from those cactus spines himself. Seeing how many Ezra had to deal with, not to mention the long ride home, he couldn't imagine any form of comfort existed in Ezra's world right now. But he was resting. And, in his usual fashion, appeared to be beating the odds.

Mrs. Potter waved from her window, summoning him over to the store.

"Good afternoon Mr. Sanchez. I hear the others have arrived back in town." He nodded, but she continued before he could speak. "I thought that had to be wrong, since I didn't see my wagon out back. I have deliveries to make at the end of the week and I trust they didn't forget they were to return –".

"Mrs. Potter, you won't be getting it back." Josiah interrupted, too tired to concern himself with manners.

"That can't be right. They assured me it would be returned. Mr. Larabee assured me."

"Madam, your wagon was destroyed when the horses bolted. Ezra was hurt. Hurt bad."

"Oh dear Lord! I had no idea. I'm so sorry. Will he be alright? I didn't know." She was nearly beside herself with concern and guilt, and Josiah immediately regretted his tone.

"Yes, Nathan thinks he will be alright, in time. I shouldn't have –"

"No Mr. Sanchez. I understand. I should've known there was a good – well in this case bad – reason. Is there anything I can do? Anything he needs, or any of you do?"

"No ma'am, we're fine." He stopped as a thought crossed his mind. "Although when he's feeling better, I bet one of your fruit pies would please him no end."

"Of course." She smiled faintly. "I really am very sorry. About everything."

Josiah reached over and took her hand in his, seeking to reassure her. "I know you are." He headed back on his way to the church, stopping first to check on Chaucer just so he could answer Ezra's inevitable questioned.

"How's Mr. Ezra doing?"

"He's better Tiny. He's going to be alright."

"Chaucer will be happy to know that."

"We are too." He started to walk away but paused when he spotted an item out of the corner of his eye. He turned back. "Tell me, that busted up old wagon out back there – are you willing to part with it?"

"Been using it up as fire wood. Not good for anything else."

"Wheels are good though, right?"

"Look to be. Why?"

"Because we owe Mrs. Potter a wagon. I've got lumber at the church…"

Tiny nodded his understanding. "You take the wheels then. She's a good lady. Always polite to me. You take those wheels.

"Much obliged Tiny." At least, he thought to himself, that was one problem that was easy to resolve.

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Buck hadn't expected to be able to sleep, but he was snoring almost from the moment his head hit the pillow until Vin came to wake him. "Nathan wants you over there."

Buck felt his stomach drop to his boots. "Is it bad? Did things go bad?"

"Don't know Buck. I just got word to bring you and JD over. Only got back a few minutes ago myself. Josiah filled me in. Are you okay?" He spoke as Buck pulled on fresh clothes.

"I wasn't hurt."

"Not what I asked."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, sure you are." Vin replied knowingly.

"It'll keep. Let's move."

Buck bounded up the stairs of the clinic, barely allowing his feet to touch the treads. He was stopped by Chris at the top, but relaxed when he saw the smile.

"He's asking for you. Nathan says he'll likely be drifting in and out, so don't worry if that happens."

"He's okay?"

"He will be. Right now, he's dead beat, and still hurting quite a bit, but it's better since we got those damn things out to him."

"You made that a lot easier on him Buck." Nathan volunteered from in the room.

"How the hell did I do that?"

"Keeping him soaked with the pulp. Softened them up and numbed the skin some as well. Most of them pulled out easy. Only needed to cut on a few of the deep ones in his chest. Likely won't even have any scars from all of this. That was real good thinking Buck." Nathan gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"Did I hear Mr. Wilmington's name being uttered?"

"Yes Ezra. I'm here."

"As am I. Will wonders never cease."

Buck pulled a chair closer to the bed. "You look rode hard and put away wet. And before that triggers any questions, yes Chaucer has been taken care of. Tiny saw to it."

"He is a good man. He cares."

"Yeah. You should be resting Ezra."

"Need to speak to you and Mr. Dunne."

"I'm here Ezra." JD hurried into the room, followed closely by Josiah who had gone to fetch him.

"We're all here now."

"I need to both thank you and to offer my deepest apologies."

"Save it Ezra. We didn't do anything you wouldn't have done, and there's nothing to apologize for."

"Mr. Jackson tells me you spared me considerable discomfort."

"Like to take the credit, but that was just dumb luck."

"I accept luck in any form it elects to present itself." He tried with no success to hide a yawn.

"Sleep. Everything else can keep till later."

"I spoke when I shouldn't have. I said things Mr. Wilmington..." He was fading quickly.

"So did I Ezra. Got a hell of a lot more to apologize for than you do." Buck's confession was unheard by its intended recipient, but Chris was close enough.

"Damn it Buck, what did you say to him?"

"It was nothing Chris." JD leapt in to defend him.

"Called him weak. Said he didn't have what it took to survive out here. Wasn't tough. Never been so wrong about someone in my entire life."

"I wouldn't feel too bad about it Buck." Josiah advised. "He works hard to maintain that image. Keeps people off guard. They don't see him as anyone to worry about, don't see them as a threat."

"That would be a serious misjudgment on their part." Nathan added.

Buck nodded. "We are beginning to figure that out."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

"When I said he could have visitors, I didn't expect you all to barge in at the same time." Nathan's glare did nothing to discourage the men clustered around Ezra. Nor did the patient seem the least bit put out by the invasion. Two days of sleep and solitude had left him bored beyond anything he could imagine.

"If they leave, I am following."

"You aren't going anywhere for at least another 48 hours."

"I failed to comprehend why I cannot recover –"

"In the comfort of my own featherbed." Five voices finished for him, including Nathan's. Buck remained out of it but added his opinion.

"Man has the right to his comfort, especially after all this. Ain't right for you to make sport of him."

"Easy there, Buck. Ezra knows we're just kidding." Vin replied.

"It's not funny."

"While I appreciate your defence of my rights Mr. Wilmington, I assure you the action is unnecessary. Only a fool would be offended by a simple statement of facts."

"Fact is, you've been to hell and back, and it ain't over yet. This is gonna be hurtin' him for a while. I don't see there's anything funny in that."

"Nobody does Buck" JD tried to settle his friend. "Ezra gets that."

"Mr. Wilmington. None of the blame for this is on your shoulders. I am fairly certain I have already expressed that to you."

"I know." Buck said quietly. "It's just – I said some pretty rotten things - no don't try to wave it off. I was dead wrong about all of it, and I'm sorry."

"Very well. Since you insist upon apologizing, I will accept it. If for no other reason than it will allow us to move on from all of this."

"Not so fast." Chris cut in. "Buck told us about some of the ride back, and I'll admit that I'm a bit confused."

"Then I shall endeavor to do everything within my power to alleviate any perplexities you may be coping with."

"You just have to talk like that, don't you? Okay, fine. Thing is, I have a good idea on how much those spines hurt. Been there a few times. Most of us have."

"It was decidedly not a pleasant experience."

"I think what he's wondering, Pard, is how you handled it so well."

"That's not meant as a reflection on you Ezra. I'd be asking that of any man who acted the way Buck and JD are saying you did."

"My recollection is that I screamed and cursed. Quiet loudly and with some degree of venom. Hardly exemplary behaviour."

"You had your moments, but most of the time it was like you just slept through it. Not passed out. Sleeping."

Ezra looked at the men surrounding him. At the genuine concern and curiosity they were demonstrating. Maybe it was time to let the walls down, at least a little. Time to trust them with a few of his secrets, since he already trusted them with his life.

"Not sleeping Mr. Wilmington. Meditating."

"What?"

"Basically, a form of self hypnosis."

"Like them fellas in the travelling shows do?" JD asked excitedly.

"No. They are not reputable practitioners of the craft. Although I am more than capable of re-creating their spurious actions if the need arises."

"What are you doing then?" Chris asked.

Ezra hesitated briefly before realizing there was no turning back now that he'd started. "Have any of you gentlemen been to New Orleans?" No one had. "It is a locale with seeing I assure you. A myriad of new and varied experiences. It was there I first was exposed to, well," he smiled, thinking back on the experiences, "to a great number of things. Relevant to this discussion is the practice of voodoo."

Nathan pulled up sharply at the word, and Josiah moved in a little closer. The others were at a loss to understand their interest.

"You can't be serious Ezra? That's not something to play around with."

"You are familiar with the practices Mr. Jackson?"

"Heard tell of them. Heard stories."

"What's this voodoo?" Vin asked.

"Devil worship." Nathan answered. They all looked stunned by the reply.

"No Mr. Jackson. That is a popular misconception. Yes, the religion has been abused by some throughout history to manipulate circumstances to their benefit. But then, which religion has not met that fate?"

"Amen." Josiah smiled.

"Rest assured, I have not been lured into the more macabre and mystical aspects of this faith, intriguing though they may be. What I did learn is the imminently practical skill of putting oneself into a trance."

"That's the hypnosis thing? JD asked, his curiosity racing.

"Yes, basically. In the most simple description I can offer, it allows one to separate the mind and body."

"Sounds dangerous." Chris observed.

"Sounds crazy." Buck countered.

"Perhaps, but it can be extremely beneficial. On one occasion it enabled me to convince a rather violently irritated gentleman that I had passed on to my final reward, thus negating his need to kill me."

"Unhappy customer?" Vin smiled.

"Something along those lines, yes."

"And that helped you with this?" Nathan asked, interested in spite of his better judgment.

"While the trance experience is not the perfect solution, it does allow me to become less acutely aware of pain or similar discomforts. I can, when needed, bring on a mild trance state to help me relax when slumber eludes me.

"Like when you're away from that featherbed of yours.?" JD grinned.

"Precisely."

"That's why you seem so out of it on the ride home? You were doing the sleep trick?" Buck could see the advantage even if he couldn't begin to understand how it worked.

"That, along with the ministrations and care you gentlemen were able to provide was what enabled me to survive the experience."

Nathan leaned back, a contemplative look on his face. "Is this something anyone can learn?"

"With practice. And considerable patience."

"That lets you out kid." Buck teased.

"Oh yeah, like you'd be any better."

"Those trances? Is there a way to put someone else into one?"

"If someone is sufficiently suggestible, yes, it can be done. But it is not something I would encourage. One could easily be taken advantage of by people with limited scruples."

Chris kept the thought to himself as he realized he couldn't imagine the Ezra he'd met four months ago making such a cautionary statement.

"Could you teach me?"

"Mr. Jackson, you wish to participate in devil worship?" Ezra grinned.

Nathan sheepishly grinned back. "I'm hoping it might help me settle folks down when they're hurt or sick. Especially in cases like yours, when I can't use more traditional treatments."

Ezra thought the matter over for a moment. "I am not certain how successful that would be. The patient would have to be able to concentrate and be open to the suggestion. You might find it more useful in helping people with ongoing pains or lingering problems."

"So, you'll be using this trance stuff for the next few days."

"I imagine, based on what I have been told, that I shall need to rely on the relief it can provide me. I suppose that will give you an opportunity to observe the practice first hand."

"Don't want to intrude on you any." Nathan replied, although he had to admit he was more than anxious to see the technique applied.

"There really is not much to be seen. But yes, if you think this effort would be worthwhile, I would be most willing to try to share my limited expertise. Of course, it will come at a cost."

Nathan looked at him with surprise. "You really plan to charge me for this?"

"Yes, but not in the manner you assume. I wish to be allowed to return to the comfort of my room."

Nathan shook his head, only partially to reflect his response. It was more amazement at the man's tenacity. Chris spoke before he could answer.

"Okay – make you a deal Ezra. You rest quiet here for today and tonight. If you're still showing no problems in the morning, we'll get you back to your own room." Nathan started to object to Chris's plan, but the look of gratitude on Ezra's face silenced him.

"That would seem to be an acceptable and appreciated compromise."

"When you're showing Nathan this meditation of yours, do you think I might sit in with you?" Josiah asked.

"Looking for another religion to investigate?" Chris asked, only partially serious.

"I can see this being a powerful tool in helping to commune with greater powers of any sort."

"Well," Vin added his opinion, "sounds a lot like some of the talk I've heard from Medicine Men over the years. I don't think making the effort would hurt any of us."

"Think I'll pass." Chris declined. "'sides, not sure I have the patience you were talking about. Pretty sure that'll count Buck out as well."

"I shall be most pleased to share the knowledge with any of you who expressed an interest. I cannot guarantee how successful it will be, but I agree it is likely to be a worthwhile experiment. However, I think planning for such an event should be put off, at least for a short time.

"I'm guessing that's your way of saying you're getting tired." Vin could see the reappearing lines of pain and fatigue on Ezra's face. Despite his insistence he was ready for company, they did seem to have overwhelmed him.

"Perhaps a short nap is in order."

JD moved closer to the bed. "Just one more thing Ezra. I know I wouldn't be much good at learning that trance stuff you're talking about, but I'd really appreciate it if you could take some time to teach me some of those curses you were shouting out. 'Gadabout lickfinger?' Can't wait to hear more like that. They sure sound a lot more interesting than the usual stuff I hear from Buck and Chris."

"Oh, dear Lord, what have I revealed? Well, as I said Mr. Dunne, I am always eager to share my knowledge, however disreputable it may be in this case, with hungry minds."

"Well if he's going to be able to get any rest, y'all better leave." He looked over to Buck. "That means all of you." Nathan insisted. He placed a bell next to the bed. "You ring this if you need anything. One of us will be close enough to hear."

Buck was the last to exit. He paused at the door, turning his hat in his hands as he tried to find a way to say what he was thinking.

"Need I reassure you again Mr. Wilmington?"

"No Ezra. I get it. I just wanted to say…" He hesitated for a brief instant. "Just wanted to say I'm right proud to ride with you Ezra." He turned and left too quickly to hear Ezra's response.

"The feeling is entirely mutual, my friend."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

The End

Thank you all for reading, and for the wonderful reviews. Your words soothe my soul and stroke my ego in all the best ways possible.