Chapter 10
Why I Stay
-Sometimes I wonder if what I'm doing is the right thing. If I'm trusting the right people. Can I even trust myself? I feel like I'm going crazy, thoughts running rampant through my mind. The fact that Damon and Stefan are vampires doesn't bother me. I trust them. The problem is, can I trust the danger that they will inevitably bring? Where there is one vampire, there's bound to be more. Can I chance my life, staying here in Mystic Falls? My heart is telling me to stay, but my mind is telling me to be logical, to run away. I know that I can only run for so long though. I can only run so far from my problems. Yet here I am, standing still in the face of danger. I stand by Damon, for he's drawn me to him. Whether it's his apparent charm or his sarcastic remarks. The spark of his eyes or the strange warmth of his smile. Perhaps it's the sound of his laughter and playful demeanor. I've never felt more comfortable and this is why I stay. I stay, standing beside danger and gripping its hand. I stand by the one thing that feels right in my life. An unknowing angel in the darkness.-
I pulled back my pen, eyes scanning over the cursive writing that I'd placed inside the small book. Other than this one entry, it was empty, the pages void of life. It was the first entry I'd placed here, the first entry I'd actually written in a long time. I couldn't help it though. I couldn't talk to anyone about it and this was currently the only thing I could think of to organize my thoughts.
-Perhaps one day, someone will find this and look back on it, remembering me.-
I closed the cover as I finished, pulling the elastic back around to keep it in place. I couldn't believe I was attempting to start a journal again, something that I had tempted when I was younger. I had originally started one after finding out that my father had had cancer, the disease slowly eating away at his body day by day. In the end, he didn't make it, the cancer walking away victorious. After that, I'd merely occupied my time with sleeping or working. My school work would be done and then I'd go to my job at the convenient store working for a few hours each week. It was how I afforded an apartment at the time, something that I was soon to obtain again.
"Hey, Kali, I'm gonna head back to the house," Jeremy called, passing by my classroom.
He seemed different today for some reason.
"I thought you'd head to the Grill?"
"Nah, I've got homework to do," he told me, before walking off, my eyes slightly wide.
Quickly, I scooped up my stuff, stuffing it into my bag. I ran after him, nearly dropping my papers.
"Hey, wait up!" I called.
He stopped, turning to face me.
"Homework? Really?" I asked skeptically.
"Uh, yeah," he said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Okay, what'd you do with Jeremy?" I asked, my lips twitching upward.
He just shook his head, before heading out, leaving me standing there in the hallway. He was serious. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't heard it myself.
"Wow."
T
Stuff a bite of chicken in my mouth, I glanced back down at the essay in front of me. I was having my students write an essay about what art means to them. If I had it my way, they'd just be doing art projects all year long. Unfortunately, Mr. Lockwood informed me of the curriculum and I was left with this. It was a simple compilation though, so it wasn't that bad. Heck, next week it'd be an essay on their favorite artist. I'd give them a break for a couple weeks after that though. My thing is, it'd take me a bit to get through them all.
"Having fun?" came the sound of Damon's voice in my ear, making me jump.
He laughed, sitting down across from me with a glass of bourbon in his hand.
"You're terrible," I cried, my face slightly red as I pointed a finger at him.
He just grinned, brushing it off.
"Oh, I'm sorry Andy, did I scare you?" he asked as though talking to a small child.
"It's Kali," I reminded him, stabbing my fork into my salad.
"Okay, Andrea," he grinned, taking a drink from his glass.
"Okay then, Dominic," I countered, using the feminine version and watching his lips twitch upward as I played his game.
"Touché," he chuckled, reaching forward and stealing a slice of chicken from my salad.
"Hey, that's mine!" I proclaimed, pouting afterward.
"Aw, poor little Kali," he chuckled, reaching forward and taking my hand in his, intertwining our fingers.
I looked at him strangely as he did this, wondering what was going on. He just tugged me forward, pressing his lips toward mine. I could feel him smirk against my lips for a moment, before I decided to kiss back, finding myself at odds with things. He then pulled back, keeping his eyes trained on mine. He then took hold of my other hand as well, pulling me forward a bit so that his lips met my ear.
"I think that sent a message," he whispered, kissing my cheek afterward.
I felt my face heat up, looking to the side shyly and he chuckled, squeezing my hand gently. In the corner, I could see Jason sitting there, watching with irritation at the scene before him. So, this was why Damon was playing around. I felt something tug at my heart as I realized this. Not that I minded him kissing me or anything, it was nice to be honest. It was just that it still felt like an act, knowing that it was to annoy Jason.
"Actually," Damon piped up, standing from his seat.
I watched as he came around the table, coming and sitting down beside me in the booth. He draped his arm around my shoulders, leaning his head against mine as he glanced down at the paper in front of me.
"Damon, what are you doing?" I asked in a hushed tone, eyeing him for a moment.
"Playing the part," he replied quietly.
"Oh…"
"Stop complaining and just enjoy it," he told me, kissing my hair.
"My not?" I sighed, allowing myself to lean back against him.
I was tired anyway and he was warm and comfortable. A good trade if you ask me.
T
Damon smiled to himself as she allowed herself to lean against him, resting her head as she stared down at the work in front of her. He had to admit, it was nice, feeling her against him. The warmth of her back soaking through his leather jacket and into his skin. Her body was far warmer than his. After all, he was of the undead, so he was naturally cold. Coffee was the only thing that actually warmed his body, yet here she was, doing the same thing. She was keeping him warm and that was another reason he was keeping her close. He liked feeling the warmth that her body gave off.
"Is he still watching?" she asked, closing her eyes for a moment as she snuggled against him a bit.
"Yes," Damon nodded, watching the man out of the corner of his eye, a smirk pulling on Damon's face as Jason glared over at him.
"You know, you're not as bad as everyone makes you out to be," she said, catching his attention.
"And why is that?" he asked curiously.
"Well, you can actually be nice when you want to be, gentle even," she murmured, crossing something out on the paper in front of her, making a small note on the edge. "You're actually nice to be around," she said honestly, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Jason was livid and yet Damon couldn't help to look down at her, eyes softening. It was just sad because once he got Katherine back, all this would be gone. The thought of it was actually a bit unsettling, making him shift in his seat.
"You okay?" she asking, glancing up at him.
"Yeah," he nodded, laying his cheek on top of her head and closing his eyes.
He took the time to inhale her scent, breathing out a moment later. She was intoxicating, the smell of her shampoo hitting him. It was a mixture of lilacs and roses, something calming.
"New shampoo?" he asked casually.
"Yeah," she nodded. "Although, I don't know why you're smelling my hair."
"Bored," he said simply, taking the pen from her hand and making a few corrections on the paper.
She rose an eyebrow in question as he did this, watching him. He flipped the pages, scanning over them, making a few more marks. Once he was done, he set the pen down, bringing the bourbon to his lips.
"What? No, 'Thank you, Damon, you're so helpful'?" he asked, smiling down at her.
She just shook her head, a small smile on her face.
"What? You want another kiss then?" she asked.
"Don't mind if I do," he said eagerly, leaning down and capturing her lips with his own.
T
"Thanks for bringing me home, Damon," I smiled, leaning up and kissing his cheek.
I saw the smirk on his face as I did this, shaking my head.
"Any time," he grinned, effortlessly pulling my bike from the back of his blue Camaro convertible.
He then brought it up, placing it beside the house along with my helmet. I still didn't understand why I kept wearing the thing though.
"And thanks for helping me with those papers," I said.
"Finally! A thank you!"
I laughed at his childish antics.
"Before I forget," he started, turning me around to face him.
I went red when I felt his lips on mine, my eyes going wide.
"Perfect."
"D-Damon, y-you don't have to keep doing that," I told him. "Jason isn't here anymore," I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck.
"Do I look like I care?" he asked, a crocked smile on his face, my mouth going slightly slack.
This time, I couldn't tell if he was just playing one of his games with me or if he actually meant it.
"Damon," I started, but he just turned around, walking back to his car and hopping in.
"Later," he called over his shoulder, waving as he drove off.
That left me standing there, mind confused. What was I supposed to think?
T
-What does one do when they don't know what to think? When their left standing there with their mouth hanging open; speechless. How am I to tell him that it means something more?
He always seems to play these games with me. Games full of joking and laughter, sly remarks, and clever retorts. I know he won't hurt me, but how do I know when he's serious? It's like things have a double meaning, like he's hiding behind them. Could I possibly be over analyzing this? Then again, how can I over analyze my own feelings?-
I looked down at the page, wiping my face. I was tired, but I need to get this out. My mind then went to Damon's kiss.
-He kissed me, but he knew there was nothing to gain. There was no reason to keep pretending. It makes me wonder if he's just trying to humor me. Is this just another one of his games? I can only pray that it's not. As much as I love rubbing it in Jason's face, I've come to realize that I actually like Damon. I would hate for all of our fun to be a sham. I enjoy his company far too much for that and his kisses…-
I pause for a moment, eyes watering slightly.
-They make me feel special, like I actually belong. It like I'm actually doing something right for once. Could it be possible that I've become fond of his affections, no matter how real or fake they may be? My heart tells me of happiness. My head tells me of heartbreak. Will the voice of my heart be the victor or will I find myself picking up the pieces once more?-
T
I peddled my way down the sidewalk of town, the wind blowing my hair behind me. Today was the fifth, also the weekend. Today was Stefan's birthday and I felt the need to buy him something for his birthday.
I felt my pocket vibrate, keeping one hand on the handlebars, my other digging my phone out. A chanced a glance down at it.
You coming tonight?- Damon
"Coming where?" I rose an eyebrow.
Where?- Kali
I placed my hand back on the other handlebar, gripping my phone tightly as I stood up on the peddles, glancing around at the shops on the strip.
"Hmm…"
I crossed the street, dismounting my bike as I came in front of a store. It was technically for men's apparel, but I figured I'd be able to find something.
The Grill. Caroline's throwing a party- Damon
And why should I come?- Kali
Because I'll be there- Damon
I rolled my eyes, wrapping the lock around my bike and heading inside the store.
Cocky much?- Kali
Right after that, my phone started to ring. I flipped it open, knowing exactly who it was.
"Yes, Damon?" I answered, walking up to a rack of clothes.
"Are you seriously going to make me beg?" he joked.
"Hmm…maybe."
"Come on, it's a party. Come and have some fun with me," he said. "I'll buy you a drink," he sang, trying to bribe me.
"Nope," I shook my head.
"Aw, why not?" he whined.
"I don't feel like drinking tonight," I said simply, eyeing a nice dress shirt that was hanging.
I checked the size tag.
"Too small," I said to myself.
"Huh?"
"Nothing, Damon, just talking to myself," I told him.
"You know, that's a bad habit," he teased. "What if I agree to dance with you?" he offered, catching my attention.
I paused for a moment, pretending to think about it.
"Well, you are a good dancer," I mused.
"Very true," he agreed. "In fact, I'm glad you noticed."
I let out a sigh, walking down another aisle. I wasn't going to try and get him a pair of pants because I'd probably get the right size. That and I wasn't about to ask Damon about it. Shaking my head, I walked over to the display shelf, something catching my eye. It was a sleek leather wrist watch.
"What are you doing anyway?" Damon asked.
"Well, since it is your brother's birthday, I figured I'd take the liberty of buying him a birthday gift," I told him.
"Aw, no gift for me?" he teased.
"Nope."
"You're so mean to me," he joked.
"You know you love it," I laughed, gesturing for the cashier to pull the watch for me so I could take a better look.
"Only because it's you."
I shook my head, looking over the watch. The band was sturdy, crystal strong. There was also a three year warrenty, so I figured that would come in handy since Damon and Stefan could get rather rough with each other at times. They were brothers, so I knew it was bound to happen. Vampire strength didn't help either.
"You still there?" Damon asked.
"Yes, Damon, I'm still here," I nodded. "I'll take this," I said to the cashier, pulling the phone away slightly.
I then spotted something else. It was a rack of men's sunglasses, an idea forming in my head. I remembered Damon telling me a few days ago that Stefan had broken his sunglasses during one of their little spats.
"So, just the watch then?" the cashier asked.
"Um, no, these too," I said, pulling a pair sleek black Ray-Ban's.
I figured Damon would appreciate it, but if he broke them, I'd kill him.
"What? He's getting two presents?" Damon asked.
"No, Damon, I'm getting something for myself," I said, easily lying through my teeth on that one.
"Ah, so you're buying me boxers then?" he concluding.
I swear, he just loved to joke with me.
"Yes, Damon, I'm buying you boxers," I nodded. "In fact, they've got these lovely little hearts on them."
"Oh, nice. I hope they're fashionable."
"Oh, yes because you'd just love to model them for me," I snorted.
"You know, that's actually not a bad idea," he said thoughtfully.
Great, what had I just dragged myself into?
"Look, Damon, I gotta go," I told him, digging the money out of my pocket and placing it on the counter. "Can you put those in a case please?" I asked, referring to the sunglasses. "I'll meet you at the Grill later."
"Alright," he sighed. "Talk to you later, Kal," he replied.
"Bye, Damon."
T
Damon smiled to himself as he walked into the Grill, readjusting his leather jacket as he went. So far, he didn't see Kali, but that wasn't saying much. After all, the place was packed. If she was there, it'd be hard to spot her among all of the other humans in the vicinity. He'd already made his mark, so now he was just waiting for Sheriff Forbes.
"Hmm…" his eyes scanned the room, flicking over the faces.
Men, women, teens. Black, white, Hispanic. There were so many. Then, he spotted a familiar face. Jason.
"This'll be fun," he grinned, slowly walking toward him.
T
"Hey, Stefan!" I called, waving at him.
He had a blond girl with her, her hair long and straight. She was pretty, that was for sure. That and he looked like he was having fun, shooting pool with a smile on his face.
"Hey, Kali," Stefan greeted, moving forward and pulling me into a hug. "Lexi, this Kali, the one I told you about," he said to his friend.
She smiled at me, holding out her hand. I took it, shivering slightly at the faint chill.
"Nice to meet you, Stefan's told me all about you," she smiled. "And Damon," she added, making my brows furrow.
"Huh?"
"You're good for him," she told me. "Maybe eventually he might actually stop being such a moronic jackass."
"Um…" I was really sure what to say to that, just giving her a strange look.
Stefan mouthed the word vampire and then I understood.
"Oh yeah, before I forget."
I pulled his gift from my bag, holding it out to him. It was wrapped up in a little square box, the blue ribbon around it showing off my handy work.
"What's this?" he asked, holding it in his hands.
"A birthday present. What's it look like?"
I had a smile on my face as I said this.
"Well, go on, open it," I said, urging him to unwrap it.
He did so, gently tearing into the wrapping, removing it and allowing it to fall onto the pool table. Then, with a curious look, he opened the box. I could hear the hinge of it creak as he opened it, watching as a small smile formed on his face.
"Kali, this is…" he started, trying to find the right words.
"Put it on," I told him.
He did so, latching it to his wrist, looking it over a few times.
"Thank you," he smiled, moving to give me a hug.
I smiled back, grabbing up the trash and throwing it away. I then saw Elena heading toward us, nodding to Stefan.
"I'm gonna get a drink," I told him, slowly moving through the crowd to the front of the building.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Damon. He was talking with Jason, neither looking very happy.
"Damon?"
I walked forward, gripping the strap of my bag. Jason still made me uncomfortable. Seeming to hearing me, Damon turned his head, a smile forming on his face.
"Ah, Kali!" he clapped, walking over to me and pulling me into a hug. "I was wondering when you'd decide to join me my darling," he grinned, wrapping his arm around my waist and guiding me over to Jason.
I stiffened against him, feeling Jason's eyes on me. I hid my face against Damon's jacket, gripping the back of it with my hand.
"Well, don't you look nice," Jason said smugly. "Still with this prick I see."
I narrowed my eyes at him, getting up the courage to walk forward, Damon's eyes on me the entire time.
"Oh, talking about yourself again I see," I stated, locking eyes with him.
I watched as he twitched, his hand curling into a ball. His anger problems obviously hadn't changed in the last five years.
"I'm sure he's already bed you then if you're this protective," he chuckled.
I felt myself shake upon hearing his words, my eyes watering slightly. Before Damon could say anything on the matter, I let my hand loose, slapping Jason straight across the face. A very visible red mark was made, his face twitching in response.
"Bastard!" I hissed, taking a couple of steps back until I bumped into Damon.
He just stared down at me, a look of pride on his face at me slapping Jason. I couldn't shake what I was feeling though, wiping my eyes.
"I'm sorry, Damon, I made a mistake in coming here tonight," I told him, before digging into my bag and pulling out a rectangular box.
I placed it in his hand, closing his fingers around it.
"Hopefully, this finds you in a better mood than I," I told him, making my way through the crowd.
I was going to go home, get away from all of this crap. As I was leaving though, I saw Matt talking to Liz Forbes. I shook my head as I saw Caroline in his arm, obviously drunk.
"Kids," I sighed, unlocking my bike and mounting it.
I then clipped my helmet under my chin and pushed of, Heading out into the night toward home.
Okay everyone, that was chapter 10. I hope you liked it. What do you think of Damon's little game? Kissing Kali in front of Jason without her realizing it? Let me know what you think? What was your favorite part? Favorite line?
REVIEW AND MESSAGE PEOPLE! It keeps me writing. IDEAS WELCOME!