A Season in Purgatory
Chapter 55
Students filed out of the high school, taking advantage of the last vestiges of sun the late fall day was giving them. Fall was moving toward winter, hinting at the cooler weather and shorter days to come.
Brooke leaned against the giant oak tree in the quad, waiting for Lucas. Having missed the first half of school, neither she nor Lucas was eligible for after school activities. She knew she couldn't go home but she hoped that she and Lucas might waste the rest of the day together. Together was always better than facing the world alone, she cynically thought.
A hand slowly grazed her shoulder, causing Brooke to shriek. Ignoring the curious stares of the students that milled around them, Brooke turned to see a concerned Nate.
"God, Brooke. Why are you so jumpy?" His eyes searched hers for a moment, genuinely disturbed about her reaction. "You squealed like a scalded pig," he said, before realizing that she was probably still upset about the incident with her step brother.
Taking one steadying breath after another, Brooke leaned back against the ancient oak tree, trying to regain her balance. She hated being touched, especially when she wasn't unexpecting it.
"It's no biggie, Nate," she said, downplaying her reaction by looking at the ground to avoid his probing expression.
He saw through the pretenses she was attempting to erect. "You thought I was your creepy step-brother, didn't you?" Nathan asked, seeing how badly he'd frightened her. Her small frame was still shaking despite the calming breaths Brooke was forcing down.
She looked up at him, seeing the hurt in his gentle blue eyes. "No, Nate. I didn't think you were him. I'm just really high strung since that night." And every night she was forced to stay in that house with her stepfather. The threat of her stepbrother had morphed insidiously into that of his father.
Nate dropped his backpack in order to grab her tiny hand. "I'm worried about you, Brooke," he softly admitted. "You're drinking nonstop, you've stopped hanging out with old friends…" his voice trailed off at the angry response his words garnered.
"Old friends like Peyton, who is spreading lies about me or old friends like you, who've moved on to better things?" she crisply questioned, nodding over to the edge of the quad, where Haley stood watching them. Brooke could feel the girl willing Nathan back to her side like a loyal spaniel.
The fact that she questioned his loyalty hurt, especially after all the times he'd helped her out lately. "I don't know why you are mad at me for spending time with Haley when you've all but formed a suicide pact with Lucas."
She moved away from him, huffing indignantly at his comments about her relationship. "We are not a suicide pact. He just understands my problems."
Nathan considered her words for a moment. "I understand your problems, Brooke. But instead of talking to me, you isolate yourself with Lucas. You're hardly ever in class or at cheer practice." A part of him felt like their friendship was slipping through his fingers.
Brooke unconsciously wrapped her arms around her waist, always prepared to protect herself. "I just don't want to be around people right now. It takes too much effort to fake being me."
He seemed taken back by her words. "Why do you have to fake being you? I kind of like the real Brooke," he gently reminded her, wishing she'd stop being the popular stereotype she'd become.
Sighing, she looked up into his concerned, nonjudgmental eyes. At the end of the day when everything in her life had fallen apart, she knew she could trust Nate. "Because I don't like the real me," she admitted, feeling slightly liberated by the truth of the moment. "I spend most of my day feeling stupid and dirty, like I'm worthless."
Nathan stared at her in shock, not sure that he'd ever considered that Brooke carried such pain and self doubt. "No one could ever think you were dirty or worthless, Brooke."
She slowly sank onto the concrete bench next to the tree. "My mom thinks that. So does Peyton. My own father doesn't care if I need him," she explained. "That's why Luke understands me. We both know what it's like to deal with parents that don't care."
"I'm not defending Dan and Karen but I think it's a stretch to say that they don't care about Lucas," Nathan declared. He couldn't say that his father was involved with Lucas but he knew that his father had watched him over the years.
Lucas stepped out from behind Nathan, dragging a reluctant Haley with him. "Of course it's not a stretch to say they are putting their hormones before their kids, otherwise we wouldn't be walking in on them naked," Lucas caustically replied, still horrified that his friends had seen his mother in such a situation.
Seeing the train wreck about to happen, Haley attempted to stop the conversation. "Lucas, Nathan can't stop Dan and Karen from being together," she began, only get cut off by her friend.
"Together," Lucas incredulously said. "Together? Haley, if you have to resort to using euphemisms you'll never loose your virginity."
Haley unconsciously took a step backwards toward Nathan.
"Harsh much," Brook commented, giving Lucas a nasty look. "Virgin bashing isn't cool, Lucas." Her meager attempt to stand up for Haley wasn't appreciated, by the look of death that Haley gave both of them. Of course half of their classmates were standing around listening. Brooke wouldn't want that many people to know she was a virgin either.
Nathan angrily moved past Haley and shoved his half brother backward. "If you want to fight, I'll be more than happy to kick your ass, but I'm sick of you taking your anger out on Haley," Nate said, referring to the night in the Café when Lucas alluded to the entire room that Haley was sleeping with him.
Haley quickly stepped in between the two brothers, determined to avoid another fight. Besides, she didn't need Nathan fighting what had obviously become her battle. Ignoring the gawking cliques of students, she turned her attention toward Lucas. "If you want to be an ass like Dan, that's fine. But don't ever speak to me again like that or you'll lose a friend."
Lucas stared at the ground, listening to Nathan protest as Haley dragged him toward the parking lot. Sighing, he looked over at Brooke, expecting to get yelled at. Being yelled at was the only thing he did well anymore.
"You screwed up big time, Luke," she simply stated. "That was a really horrible thing to say to your best friend." Brooke didn't know many virgins, but she was fairly sure it wasn't contagious.
He leaned back against the old oak tree, feeling the bark as if he'd donned a medieval hair shirt. "I know. It's like I can't control what comes out of my mouth." Brooke gave him a sympathetic look as she walked him toward her car.
"Not to mention that Haley's an easier target than your mom or Dan." He couldn't fool Brooke. She knew who the real focus of his anger was.
Luke's shoulders sank even more, realizing that his words were decidedly misplaced. "Is there anything short of leaving town that would make this better?"
She considered his words seriously for a moment. "There are days when I think the only sane thing to do is leave town." They walked to her car in silence.
Keith warily approached Dan, who was standing at the center of the Rivercourt, looking very out of place in his grey worsted suit.
"Thanks for meeting me, big brother," Dan greeted him, his best sleazy salesman smile plastered on his face. The smile warned Keith that something was up.
"What have you done now?" Keith skeptically asked. Dan, for all his bluster, always ran to his big brother when his life was falling apart.
Dan moved over to the bleachers and dejectedly sat down. Keith silently followed, knowing that his brother must have screwed up big time. "Is this about Luke's weekend disappearing act?" Dan and Karen had called him late Friday night, frantically searching for Lucas. Karen let him know earlier that day that she'd finally found Luke, but Keith couldn't help but worry. Lucas had always been a good kid. The changes in his behavior were striking to those who really knew him.
Hedging, Dan actually looked a bit sheepish at his older brother's words. "He sort of stumbled over something that upset him."
"What did he stumble over?" Keith asked, confused about the various pieces of information he'd been given. He knew that Dan and Karen were hiding too much of the past from his nephew. He could only assume that Lucas was finding out information he didn't like.
Color flooded Dan's face, as embarrassment a rare state for Dan Scott. "Well, he kind of stumbled over us," Dan explained. Seeing a blank look on his brother's face, he elaborated.
"Nate and Lucas walked in on Karen and I at the beach house and we weren't exactly talking" he admitted, happy that he could finally share what was going on with someone. Dan's personality didn't exactly lend itself to making friends. Deb's death led to a self imposed isolation that he'd never really broken.
Keith looked incredulously at his younger brother. "Lucas walked in on you having sex with his mother?"
"Well, not really," Dan explained. "We were kind of in the naked afterglow." Keith winced at his brother's words. "It wasn't a good situation," Dan concluded.
"That's probably the understatement of the century," Keith commented. "I knew the two of you getting together was going to hurt Lucas.
Dan looked up at him in surprise. "We thought we were being discreet," he insisted.
Keith sighed in frustration. "It's Tree Hill, Dan. There are no secrets in towns this small." He was angry at Karen. No one had any expectations that Dan Scott would do what was best for his son, but Karen should have avoided Dan all together. She should have known better.
Dan shifted to damage control mode. "What's done is done. We just need to find a way to calm Lucas down," Dan decided. He was too close to mending all his past sins to blow it because a teenage boy was upset. He just needed time to show Lucas that he really wanted to get to know him and be a father to him.
"Are you going to break things off with Karen?" Keith asked, shaking Dan out of his reverie. Keith couldn't conceive of them actually trying to resurrect their past relationship with Lucas standing in the way.
Dan thought about his brother's question. "I don't want to stop seeing her," he honestly admitted. "For the first time in eight years, I'm totally happy."
"Is your happiness worth your son's happiness?" Keith asked, not sure if Dan was capable of putting anyone above his own needs and wants.
"Is it my fault that the kid can't let things go?" Dan angrily said, frustrated that this was the one deal he couldn't sell.
Keith smirked at his brother's words. "Oh yes. I forgot that you've been a father to him for what now, two months? I'm sure that Luke's totally forgotten the 16 years you ignored him," Keith countered, knowing that Lucas would not let go of his pain after only a few months of Dan trying to be a part of his life. "Especially in light of you having a relationship with his mother."
Dan kicked at a tuff of grass under his shiny black shoe for a moment, considering his options. "It's not like we're in a relationship," he argued.
"Dan, you know Karen doesn't sleep around, contrary to the rumors you spread about her 16 years ago. If she's sleeping with you, she's got feelings for you," Keith concluded. He'd dated her for six months without getting that far.
Leaning back, Dan frowned at the implication of a relationship. "I honestly don't know where this is going, but I want to be with Karen and I think she wants to be with me." He liked the idea of living with Karen and getting both his sons under the same roof. He could focus on his family and not be so preoccupied with the son he left behind.
Keith shook his head. "You need to sit down with Karen and figure out where this is going. I would also suggest that you consider talking to Luke. He probably feels betrayed," Keith said, getting to his feet. "I need to check on Anna before her lunch break is over," he said as they walked toward their cars.
Dan pulled himself out of his own problems long enough to ask about his sister in law. "How's the pregnancy going?"
"She's just getting through the worst of the morning sickness. The doctor says things are progressing normally." Keith remembered how dreadfully sick Karen had been with Lucas. She's spent most of her pregnancy throwing up. Keith was happy that Anna seemed healthier and stronger than he remembered with Karen. With Deb and Karen's pregnancy problems, Keith felt very lucky that his wife and child were doing well thus far.
Dan reached out and grabbed his older brother's arm. "I'm really happy for you, big brother. I know you've always wanted a kid."
Keith stared at Dan for a moment, before moving away. "I always had a kid, Dan." He watched silently as his brother drove off, knowing that he had a lot of work to do to make this situation right.
A chapter! I got in earlier than expected from my trip, so I decided to post. Comments, thoughts and bad karma for Dan are gladly accepted. Or maybe you could just send that to Mark S.
Thanks for reading!