The dead men are on a mission this is the train ride to said mission. I will have a story up about what happened on it and maybe even a third. Valduggery (No sappiness) and ganith (slight shudderkin :3). Ravel isn't in this one and the last elder is… whomever you want to see. Comment your person (doesn't have to be from the books) and their personality (which elder/ both that they get along with) and I'll tell you who the new elder is! I have noticed the Italian sanctuary didn't get involved in the war so they are on ok terms with the Irish. Oo and Valkyrie is 26!
The dead men were on a mission. They had flown from Dublin to France and they were now waiting for their train to Italy. There had been problems when they had booked the tickets. The more mature dead men (namely ghastly, skulduggery, Anton and kind of Larkin) insisted they book a privet carriage because "We're going to be in the carriage for nearly a day. Skulduggery's pill only lasts for 24 hours and it would look suspicious that 7 men are travelling with a woman who looks like she's only 21." The council gave up and let them.
"When's the train coming?" Valkyrie asked impatiently.
"It should be here in a few minutes. Why?" shudder answered.
"I hate waiting!" Valkyrie announced grumpily.
"Are you 6 or 26?"
"God I'm old!"
The men looked at her shocked. "Valkyrie the youngest of us is 411. You're not old."
"To you I'm not but for normal people that's practically middle aged!"
Hopeless burst out laughing, "You've spent your days since you were 12 with a skeleton! You're not normal!"
Valkyrie scowled at him. "Stop you're causing a scene."
Dexter pretended to look shocked. "No witty come backs? No death threats? What have you done with Valkyrie Cain?!"
She sighed, "Vex if you don't be quiet I will put the pictures on global link."
Dexter paled and glared at her. "You said you deleted them!"
"Oops I lied."
Skulduggery chuckled wrapping an arm around Valkyrie's waist. "That's MY Valkyrie Cain."
"As funny this is our train is here." Shudder said before Dexter could reply.
"Finally!" Valkyrie exclaimed dragging skulduggery towards the train. The other six followed behind laughing at the odd couple.
When they had found their compartment they sat down (think of the train compartments in Harry potter with seats on each side). Valkyrie sat at the window, skulduggery sat beside her, Anton beside him and Larkin at the door seat. On the other side Dexter was at the window, Saracen beside him, then Hopeless and Ghastly was leaning against the wall in the corner.
When the train was finally moving Valkyrie stretched and tucked her knees up to her chin. Saracen watched her do this and laughed.
"What?" she asked innocently.
"Your weird! Why did you stretch and then curl up? It defeats the reason to stretch."
Valkyrie laughed, "I was cracking my shoulders and legs."
The others scrunched up their faces at the thought.
"Don't you feel so satisfied when you crack your knuckles?"
Skulduggery shook his head. "Only you, you odd girl."
"The odd girl you can't keep your hands off of."
Dexter watched them and sighed, "I need to get laid."
Valkyrie laughed and kicked him on the knee.
"Hey!"
"What?" She asked sweetly, her eyes wide and innocent.
Dexter scowled, tried to kick her but she had curled her legs back up and fell off his seat.
"You're mean."
"I didn't knock you off the seat! You fell off trying to kick me."
Anton nodded from beside skulduggery.
"She's right."
"But SHE kicked me!"
"Who's she the cats mother?" Valkyrie asked glaring now.
"That's it you're spending too much time with skulduggery!" hopeless announced.
Skulduggery looked mock hurt and Valkyrie just stuck her foot out to poke Dexter again. He grabbed her foot and pulled her down beside him.
"Guys people are looking." Ghastly warned.
"Are they? So they are. That's nice!" Skulduggery said waving to the people happily. They scurried away hearing laughter coming from the carriage.
Half an hour later Valkyrie woke up and looked around.
"How long have we been travelling?"
"Um nearly an hour why?"
"Because I'm BORED! I want to go for a walk."
"I'll go with you if you help me find the food stand." Hopeless said.
"I'll go too!" Saracen added opening the door.
"Bye!" Valkyrie said happily giving skulduggery a peck on the lips.
"If you find the food stand get us tea!" ghastly called after them.
They wandered around for a while until they came to a few stalls.
"Lads I'm going in here ok?"
"Cool we'll get the drinks. Want anything?"
"Coffee!"
They nodded and went over to the food part while Valkyrie stepped into a newsagent.
She noticed that a few people had been watching them as they went around and understood why. She would have been suspicious if she had seen a young woman going around with a group of (slightly) older men but there was a difference between suspicious and rude.
"Are you ok dear?"
Valkyrie spun to see an old woman standing behind her.
"Yeah I'm fine just looking around."
"Are you sure? I saw the men that were with you. Are you in any trouble?"
The woman had a slight French accent and her grey hair was in a wispy bun.
"No they work with me. We're heading to Rome with a few others."
This was a lie of course but she couldn't tell anyone where she was really going.
"Oh ok. Where are you from? I don't recognise your accent."
Valkyrie shrugged, "I'm Irish."
The woman nodded and Valkyrie saw Saracen and Hopeless laughing from the entrance watching.
"So what's your name?"
"Valerie. My names Valerie."
"That's a lovely name! My names Margaret but my friends call me mags."
"It was nice to meet you Margaret but I have to go."
"Oh alright then."
"It was nice to meet you."
Valkyrie glared at the two men. "Your such asses!"
"And yet you love us." Saracen said flinging an arm around her.
Hopeless threw his arm around her on the other side and said, "Yeah Valerie! You really do love us."
Valkyrie scowled, "Nice to know Sam, Harry."
They both froze; she slipped out and ran laughing back to the carriage.
When she got there the others looked up and simultaneously said, "What did you do?"
"When do I ever do anything?"
"All the time." Larkin muttered.
"Oh yeah!" she explained why she had run in and about half way through hopeless and Saracen showed up.
"So who's the youngest?" Valkyrie asked.
All men opened their mouths.
"Other than me."
They all closed their mouths again.
"Me." Hopeless said grumpily.
"Aw little baby hopeless!" She teased.
"Your younger than me!"
"But I'm a girl so I'm more mature."
They discussed this for a while until Valkyrie stood.
"Swap with me." She said to skulduggery.
"What?" he asked startled.
"Swap with me. I'm tired."
"How will swapping with me help you sleep?"
"If you swap I'll show you."
Larkin laughed. "Can you show me too?"
Valkyrie hit his arm, "Dirty bastard."
He chuckled and high-fived Saracen.
Skulduggery sighed and stood up. Valkyrie grinned and kissed him before grabbing a furry black blanket and sitting in his seat. Once he sat she lifted his arm and curled into his side.
"Start being loud and you won't make it to Italy." She warned.
"She's still sleeping? Did one of you drug her?"
"Shut up! She's just tired."
"Jeez skul what were you two doing last night?"
"Dirty bastard." Valkyrie muttered not opening her eyes.
The men jumped and looked at Valkyrie.
"Dex go poke her. See if she's alive."
"Dexter don't poke me unless you want to loose that hand."
"So you're awake? If you're awake open your eyes."
Valkyrie sighed and glared at Larkin, "Better?"
"No. Close your eyes again."
She sighed and sat up. "Why would you think I was drugged?"
"You've been asleep for 6 hours in a row…"
"I told you already. Valkyrie can sleep for 11 hours in the day and still complain about being tired." Skulduggery sighed.
Shudder shook his head, "That's not natural."
"Did you really time how long I was asleep?"
"We couldn't talk and you were literally out cold."
Valkyrie froze and narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?"
Hopeless laughed and shook his head. "Your too paranoid."
"But am I wrong?"
Larkin smiled and jumped on her.
"What the hell! Rover larkin get off me now!"
Larkin moved back and looked at her. "How do you know my first name?"
"There is a reason I'm a detective Larkin."
"Who told you?"
"No one. I noticed that one: you sign your name R. Larkin and two: the others kept making sly jokes about how you can't stay one place at a time. Oh and they said you and dex picked dogs names."
"What amazing teacher taught you that?" skulduggery muttered to her pulling her back to him.
"First of all eww and secondly our names aren't dog names!" Dexter said.
Skulduggery smirked and kissed Valkyrie deeply.
"She's still our little sis pleasant."
"Stop fighting over me guys. I know I'm irresistible but no fighting."
Larkin smirked. "I don't know Val, I like mine strong and silent." He quickly jumped shudder and kissed him.
Dexter groaned and took Valkyrie's blanket putting it over his head. "You guys suck."
Ghastly groaned and looked up. "What's going on?"
"You've been asleep the whole time?!"
"Uh no?"
Valkyrie started laughing hysterically.
"What's happening here?" ghastly asked confused.
"I have no clue."
Valkyrie stood up and walked straight out of the carriage. Skulduggery and ghastly glanced at each other before bolting out of the room and following Valkyrie.
"Fancy seeing you here!" she said happily when they found her.
"Are you ok?" ghastly asked.
"I was bored. And I'm hungry."
"Do you have money?" skulduggery said.
"No but you do."
"Sneaky."
Valkyrie smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek, "Will you please feed me?"
"Fine. Stay here with ghast."
"Thank you!"
Ghastly watched skulduggery leave and turned to Valkyrie.
"You have him wrapped around your little finger."
Valkyrie laughed, "Ghastly I've got all of you wrapped around my little finger."
When they got back ghastly looked over at Valkyrie and said, "Guys do you know that Valkyrie thinks she has us wrapped around her little finger?"
Shudder nodded, "She does."
"You think?" hopeless asked calmly.
Shudder nodded again. "She practically runs this place. Since we joined again she has had the final say in practically everything."
"Don't forget that I'm the only one who can make the jesters behave." Valkyrie added smugly.
"Hey we're quiet happy being jesters!" Saracen said his arms around Dexter and Hopeless.
"If you start a threesome I'm moving carriages." Ghastly muttered.
"Aww Ghast! What are you worried tanith would find out?"
"No I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to join."
Larkin put up his hand. "I'd swap with you Ghastly."
"Ah now rov! Your hubys right there!" Valkyrie scolded.
"Would you like to join Val?" Hopeless asked smirking.
"Nah not my kind of thing. What about you Anton?"
"I think I'll sit this one out thank you very much."
"This one?"
By the time they arrived in Italy they had all slept (except skul) and skulduggery had his façade up. Valkyrie bounced ahead jumping around them happily.
"Why are you so awake? It's irritating." Dexter grumbled.
"It might have something to do with the 6+ hours she slept on the train." Ghastly said sleepily.
"It's morning! It's not my fault you decided to talk all night!" Valkyrie said, "Anyways if I'm grumpy when we first meet the Italian council it won't be as funny."
"We're meeting them straight away?" Larkin asked.
"I don't think they understand how tiring it is to sit in a train for a whole day." Saracen muttered.
"Your all gone soft." Valkyrie declared sadly.
"You always complain!"
"I'm allowed. I'm cute when I complain. Only me and Larkin are allowed."
"Why is Larkin allowed?"
"Larkin's complaining raises moral and he understands my type of complaining."
Larkin grinned and moved towards Valkyrie. "Really?"
"Don't you dare… Larkin get away from me!"
He quickly jumped on her wrapping her in a bear hug.
The Italian sanctuary had sent a car to collect them and by the time they arrived everyone was awake.
"Who are the elders here anyways?" Valkyrie asked.
"The grand mage is Violet thorn. The two elders are Venom Oak and Lynx Doom. Both male."
"Are they very serious? Because I need to know."
"Why? You're going to act the same way no matter what."
"Do you know how many people have treated me like a child just because I'm young? Too many, at least if I know I can plan ahead."
"I always act childish and I'm ok." Hopeless said happily.
"That's cause they've heard of you from the war. I'm just that one that's saved the world a few times." Valkyrie said waving her hand dismissively.
"Well to answer your question I've only met the grand mage and she seemed nice. Not too strict but she knows when to be serious." Skulduggery said getting back to the point.
"Do any of you know the others two?" Valkyrie asked looking around.
"I know Venom." Dexter said.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"What's he like?!"
"Oh right. He's cool, one of us."
"One of us?" ghastly asked.
"A messer. A man-child. A 'jester'."
"Oh thank god!"
"And Lynx?"
Everyone shook their heads.
When they arrived they were led to an empty waiting room and told the elders would be there soon.
"Ah so it isn't a Irish thing." Valkyrie said.
"What?"
"I've always wondered if all the sanctuaries made people wait or if that was just ours."
Skulduggery nodded, "It's more of a international agreement."
"It makes them look late."
"That it does."
They sat there for half an hour talking until the elders came in. Violet had honey coloured hair and violet eyes. One man had short black hair and bright green eyes and the other flaming red hair and deep blue eyes. They stood up straight away and Valkyrie could see the annoyance in the black haired mans eyes. She could tell he hated being treated like royalty and decided he was probably Venom Oak.
She bowed as low as she could and grinned when she heard a groan.
"Thank you for coming dead men." Violet said.
"Ah vi do have to do this? Can't we skip the formalities?" The black haired man asked.
"Fine. But if the administer asks we did it." She said addressing the dead men for the last bit.
"Of course grand mage!" Skulduggery said happily.
"Oh come on skulduggery, don't start that."
"What is he starting your highness?" Valkyrie asked equally happy.
"Dammit the stories about you two are true." The dark haired man muttered, "Miss Cain, dead men, I'm Venom Oak, this is Lynx Doom and this is of course Violet Thorn."
"Hey how come Valkyrie only gets her name said? Why are we only 'dead men'?" Larkin complained.
"Your only 'dead men' because they like me better." Valkyrie said smugly.
"Should we leave and let you sort this out?" Violet asked.
"Oh no this is your fault. You have to deal with this too."
"Oh I'm so sorry your highness we'll be quiet!" Valkyrie chimed in.
Venom sighed and looked over at Dexter. "Are they going to keep this up the whole meeting?"
"Try asking very nicely. And maybe add a compliment for val."
Valkyrie sat up on the table smirking and crossed her legs.
"Will you please stop? We're all friends here aren't we?"
"I don't known are we?" she asked her smirk becoming a full out grin.
"I see why you're a dead man now." Violet said wearily.
"What can I say? Except thank you violet."
"So we're ok now?"
"Of course elder oak!"
Venom scowled and crossed his arms. "Your mean."
Valkyrie laughed and draped her arm around his shoulders. "I'm so sorry Venom!"
He smiled straight away and hugged Valkyrie. "Wonderful! It's a pleasure to meet you Valkyrie!"
Valkyrie grinned and looked at ghastly who was shaking his head disbelievingly as she added another man to her army.
"What's wrong ghast?" Hopeless asked.
"She did it again. She just did it again."
"What's he talking about?" Venom asked confused.
"Ghastly has only discovered Valkyrie's mind control."
"Mind control?" violet asked looking confused.
"Venom was just annoyed with Valkyrie for calling him all the 'proper' titles and then she smiles and puts on her charm and he's hugging her and grinning like a school boy."
The elders all looked at Valkyrie who was trying to hide a grin. "I didn't do a thing! I just apologised! That's just my natural beauty and charm!"
"That's sneaky. Very sneaky."
"It's not my fault I'm irresistible!"
"It's not nice to take advantage of them like that though. They are only men." Violet said sadly.
"Well I have to deal with them some way."
"Do you really do that?" Venom asked.
"Sorry venom. But I never actually did anything."
Lynx coughed and everyone looked over.
"As amusing this is we really should tell you why you're here first."
"Of course! Go ahead Mr. Doom." Skulduggery said.
"You are here because there has been trouble with a sorcerer up in the mountains. He has killed all our agents we sent up except one who informed us that he was allowed to go free in order to say that this sorcerer will only speak with the dead men."
"Dammit, I wish you lot would stop pissing people off." Valkyrie muttered grumpily.
"Hey! It might be you!" Larkin protested.
"I don't know any Italian blokes forget about having pissed any off."
"What am I?" Venom asked mock hurt.
"A man-child."
He opened his mouth to argue. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow and he closed his mouth.
Dexter and Saracen grinned at him. "What did you expect from Valkyrie Cain? She's a dead man."
Venom just shook his head and muttered something about no respect.
"Does that mean you want us to start addressing you formally again?"
"Now, now don't get hasty."
They stayed talking until the Italian tipstaff came in and said the elders were about to be late for a meeting. Violet let out a string of Italian curses and ran out of the room. Venom and lynx followed telling them they would send someone to show them their rooms.
A few minutes later a young handsome mage walked in and started talking in Italian to them.
"Ciao il mio nome è Arsenio nero. mi mostrerà le vostre camere qualcuno di voi parla italiano?" (Hello my name is Arsenio ('manly, virile and strong'. Pronounced ahr-SE-nyo) black. I will show to your rooms. Do any of you speak Italian?).
Skulduggery, Anton and Larkin raised their hands. (All Italian will be bold)
"I'm Skulduggery Pleasant, these are my friends Anton Shudder, Dexter Vex, Larkin, Hopeless, Saracen Rue, Ghastly Bespoke and Valkyrie Cain. Sadly only three of us speak fluent Italian."
Valkyrie stared at skulduggery. "You speak Italian?!"
"You are miss Valkyrie Cain?" the man asked.
She smiled, "Call me Valkyrie. And your name is..?"
"Arsenio black. I will show you to your rooms. I believe you have asked for 6 rooms?"
"Yes. As I don't sleep I won't need one and some of us are sharing." Skulduggery said glancing at Larkin and shudder.
Larkin grinned and wrapped his arm around Anton's waist. Arsenio smiled and nodded walking out of the room.
"If you'll come this way."
They followed him down corridors until he stopped outside a row of doors.
"You can pick from one of these. We guessed you would be more at ease sleeping near each other. The elders would like to speak to you Detective, after your settled."
Skulduggery nodded, "Where should I meet them?"
"They will go to you. Whom will you be rooming with?"
"I normally room with my partner. Anything they want to tell me she can be told as well."
"I shall speak to them. And which room will miss Cain be staying in?"
On hearing her name Valkyrie snapped her head to them.
"Yes?"
"Which room do you want?" skulduggery asked.
"Hey I want first pick!" hopeless said.
Valkyrie shot him a smug smile and pointed to the grey door with black carvings around it.
"I'll take that one. Why were you saying my name Mr. Black?"
Dexter grinned and watched Arsenio freeze and blush muttering something about confidential.
"If my name is being said I deserve to know."
"I'll explain later Valkyrie. You're scaring the poor lad." Skulduggery said.
"Not my fault he can't handle a few questions." She muttered grabbing her bag and going into the room.
Saracen and hopeless were holding onto each other laughing so hard they were silent.
"Is she always so um how do you say it? Uh…"
"Scary?"
"Grumpy?"
"I was going to say full-on..."
"Well she's that too but it's just that she hates not knowing things."
He nodded and left.
Skulduggery stepped into the room to see a very unhappy Valkyrie sitting on the bed.
"I'm sorry my dear. Do you want to know now?"
She sighed and lay back making her top ride up her stomach. "I just can't believe that you can speak Italian. That guy was really annoying. Like what was with him saying my name and then refusing to tell me anything!"
"He said the elders would be coming to talk to me and asked where I would be staying."
"And?"
"And I said I'd be staying with you whatever they want to say to me they can say to you. He asked what room we would be in and that's when you heard your name."
"Ok. So do you know what they want?"
"Not a clue. Do you know your t-shirt has ridden up?"
"No I didn't. Is it bothering you?"
"Of course not." He said his mouth barely touching her stomach. He placed his hands either side of her and started gently kissing her. She squirmed and groaned as he pinned her legs and moved towards her mouth. He kissed her and stood up.
"You look a bit ruffled miss Cain."
"Do I? I wonder why?"
"I wouldn't know but if the elders are going to randomly walk in I doubt they want to see you lying there with your top nearly off and looking ruffled."
"Ah yes. Well I'll be back in a minute." She said standing and moving into the bathroom with her bag.
She came back with a new top and her hair down and brushed.
"I tried to plait it."
"I'm guessing the main word is tried?"
"Yeah I know."
"Do you want me to do it?"
"You can braid hair?"
"Yes. I went to a boarding school and it was a boy and a girl per room so I used to help whoever shared with me."
"Will you do mine?"
"I asked didn't I? Come here."
She went over and he combed and separated the hair.
"What way do you want it done?"
"I don't mind. Do what you want."
He laughed lightly, "You sure?"
"Not like that!"
He laughed again and started braiding her hair into a crown around her head.
"Done."
Valkyrie reached up and lightly felt it. "It's perfect. Thank you."
"Of course it is I did it." He replied smoothly.
She laughed and slapped him.
Page break.
It was half an hour later when the elders came. Valkyrie had been messing with some energy throwing it back and forth on the floor. Skulduggery had been reading and when they had knocked he had opened the door. Valkyrie quickly got rid of the energy and stood up. Venom nodded to her as he walked in.
"Does she have to be here?" violet asked.
"Anything you can tell me you can tell Valkyrie." Skulduggery said calmly.
"Does she know Italian?"
"Enough. What's so important that you don't want to tell her?"
"It's to do with this sorcerer. We think he might be after her." Lynx said pointing at Valkyrie.
"And why would you think that?" skulduggery asked.
"This man told the agent to say ' he will only speak to the dead men including their pet world breaker'"
"And of course this is referring to Valkyrie." Skulduggery said anger steeping through.
Valkyrie who had been sitting watching them looked sharply at skulduggery and moved over to stand beside him.
"Tell me what's going on now. It obviously involves me and I'm not in the mood to wait until you decide it's dangerous enough."
She crossed her arms and watched them calmly waiting to see the first crack. Venom was the first to look away.
"I would answer her. She can handle it." Skulduggery said his hand on her shoulder.
"Fine Detective. Tell her." Violet snapped.
Skulduggery nodded and told Valkyrie. By the end of it she looked disgusted.
"How could you try and hide that? If he's after me I need to know!"
Venom looked at her sadly. "Do you really?"
"Despite what you think I don't care what people call me anymore. There are only so many things I can be called before it stops mattering. I know what I did and I already hate myself."
Violet sighed. "Fine. You can head out in the morning."
She swept out of the room. Venom and lynx nodded to them and followed.
"That went well! No one got punched." Valkyrie said tiredly walking to the bed.
Skulduggery sat on her bed and waited for her to change into her pyjamas.
"Do you remember when you used to make me cover my eyes with my hat?"
"Yeah." She said sitting down beside him and putting her head on his shoulder. He pulled her onto his lap and lifted her up.
"How about you get under the covers before you fall asleep?"
"Mhh I'm ok here." She said burying her head in his ribcage.
He laughed and pulled the covers back moving so he was sitting against the headboard. Valkyrie slipped off his lap and waited until he had taken off his hat, jacket and tie before curling up on his chest.