Warning: the following chapter has bad words, political charged topics and general smart ass behavior by Lucas. Please don't read if you are offended by topics often bantered around by politicians in America.
A Season in Purgatory
Chapter 58
Lucas stepped into the room, anxiety clearly written on his face. "What's going on?"
Silence descended over the room, as Karen and Dan immediately stopped talking. Lucas walked fully into the room, confronting them both. "What are you trying to hide from me?" Lucas demanded, having already been on the end of his parent's deceit before. It was barely a month ago when he'd found out that Dan had helped save his life after the car accident. This confrontation was shaping up much the same way, half truths whispered in the dead of night.
Karen's eyes shifted from Dan to Lucas, uncertain who to address first. "Maybe Dan needs to go so I can talk to you," she began, only to get cut off by a wary Dan.
"I need to be here, Kar. You know that," he emphasized, letting the tone of his voice convey the strength of his conviction. He needed to be present when Karen told Lucas about the baby for so many reasons. He needed to show the boy that he wasn't running away and that he was finally taking responsibility for his actions. And a smaller part of him wanted to be there to protect Karen from what ever violent reaction the situation created. Dan wanted to love his son but there were many days when he didn't trust the boy at all.
Lucas finally stomped his foot like an errant child. "I want to know what's going on," he demanded, moving toward Dan. A sound at the door drew his attention away from his father for a moment. He turned and saw Brooke hovering in the doorway. Karen immediately grew upset seeing the girl in her house. "Lucas, I thought you were aware that the rules state no overnight guests." It was obvious from her pale yellow flannel sleep pants and tank top that Brooke had settled in for the night.
Lucas rolled his eyes at his mother's attempt to assert some authority over his life. That power had vanished as soon as Dan had walked back into their lives. "Brooke is just hanging out with me. I wasn't sure you'd be coming home tonight," he dryly replied, noting that his mother was spending a lot of time away from the house after work. She was just as prone to sneaking around as he was these days.
Brooke walked swiftly to Luke's side, not liking the anger she saw in his face. "Maybe you should walk me home, Lucas," she suggested, trying to find a way to get him out of that room. Karen was nothing but a toxin in Luke's life lately, she mused.
Dan decided that it was time to take charge of the situation. "Brooke, we need for you to go home," he said, moving her towards the rarely used front door. He could feel the tension that was building around her and could see the near panic on her face. Taking a key off his gold key ring, he handed it to her. "You can crash at our house tonight. Nate and Haley should be over there, but take this key just in case," he kindly explained, knowing that things at her house must be totally out of control to garner that kind of reaction to his suggestion that she go home.
Lucas could tell that his mother was not in a mood to suffer Brooke's presence, so he nodded slightly toward the door. Whatever was going down here was not something he wanted to subject Brooke to. He walked her to the door and gave her a quick kiss. "I'll catch up with you later," he murmured for her ears only. Once she was off the porch, he slowly turned around, closing the door so he could face his parents in private.
"Okay, just tell me. I can't take any more half truths and lies. Just tell me what's going on." He wasn't prepared for any more emotional battles but he realized that in his family, constant battling seemed like the norm.
Karen's hands were shaking so hard she could barely hold onto the cup of tea Dan handed her. She wasn't sure this was the time to tell her son, but he apparently had decided otherwise. Getting a reassuring look from Dan, she set the tea cup down and turned toward her son. "Lucas, I need for you to come over here and sit down."
He persisted in leaning back against the front door. It seemed safer for him to be near an exit for some reason. Like he knew he'd need a quick escape once he found out what his parents were hiding from him.
Dan took a more direct line. He walked over to where Lucas stood and dragged him over to sit next to his mother. Jerking his arm away from Dan, he turned toward his mother in anger. "I'm glad you've got your personal bodyguard on call tonight."
Karen ignored his tone but was nonetheless upset about the entire situation. It was rapidly growing out of control. Taking a deep breath, she turned toward her son and smiled. "We have some news we'd like to share with you. I'm not sure how you are going to take it, but we need to all sit down and discuss it like calm, rational, adults."
Lucas snickered at her words. He'd just turned 16 and now she wanted him to act like an adult? He'd spent most of his life sheltered by his over protective mom and now he was suddenly a rational adult? Then a worse thought crossed his mind. "You aren't getting married, are you?" It was his worst fear and the most likely scenario based on both Dan and Karen's touchy feely behavior at the moment.
Dan looked over at Karen in surprise. He wasn't sure what it said that his son's first thought was that they were getting together. Perhaps he and Karen had not been as subtle with their relationship as previously thought.
"No, Dan and I aren't getting married," Karen slowly began, reaching out to touch her son's knee reassuringly. "However we do have some news that involves all of us and that will have a great impact on the future."
Lucas leaned back against the faded couch, wary about his mother's comments. Nothing that involved Dan could have a positive impact on his life.
Glancing at Dan, Karen finally found the strength to move forward. "Luke, I'm pregnant." The simple words hung in the air between them for a moment. Lucas leaned back into the couch, shocked into complete and utter silence.
Growing uneasy with the pervading silence, Dan plunged into the conversation. "We wanted to tell you as soon as possible," he elaborated, seeing that his son was barely processing his words. Dan put his hand on Karen's shoulder in an attempted show of solidarity.
"Lucas, we know this is a big shock…" Karen's words were cut off by Luke.
"Are you going to keep it?" he suddenly asked, looking up at his parents with a look akin to sadness crossed with fury.
Karen's hand automatically rose to cover her stomach. "Lucas," she admonished, "this is not an 'it'. This is your little brother or sister."
He abruptly stood up, knocking throw pillows off the couch with startling vigor. "No mom. It's not. As far as I'm concerned 'it' is not related to me. "It" is a devil spawn." His words caused his mother to wince and Dan to grow even more protective of her. Dan stepped in front of Karen and got into Luke's face. "You are going to stop disrespecting your mother right now," Dan threatened, taking a step closer to where his oldest boy stood his ground.
Lucas almost leisurely raised his hand and shoved his father backward. "You don't have any right to tell me what to do," Lucas shouted, getting in the older man's face. It was his house. The same house that Dan had failed to visit for most of his life and now the man thought he could walk in and tell him how to behave?
Disregarding her own safety, Karen maneuvered herself between the two men, pushing them away from each other. She turned toward her son, knowing that she'd just delivered devastating news. "I know that this is an unexpected situation, but we need to focus on what's best for the family right now."
Lucas turned his attention away from Dan and toward his mother. "Family? What family?" He felt incredulous that his mother would include Dan into their family just because he'd joined his sperm with her egg. He felt like the floor was falling out from underneath him. It was one thing to eat a meal with the guy but including Dan into his life on a regular basis was more than he could handle.
"There are times in life when you have to adapt, Lucas," Karen explained, knowing that this was one rule that she'd lived by. "Dan and I are doing the best we can given the situation. We need you to help us."
Shaking his head in wonder, Lucas' tone was biting. "Maybe I could have helped you on the birth control issue, mom," he said, knowing he'd hit a sore point when both adults abruptly looked away from him and toward the floor. "Did you forget all those lectures you gave me about birth control? Or were you just too stupid to use a condom?"
Dan looked up at his son in anger, but more at himself than at the boy's rude questions. He'd spent countless hours going over birth control with Nathan, emphasizing that sex was okay as long as he didn't get a girl pregnant. While he and Karen had been careful, there were times that the heat of the moment overruled their common sense. He could only surmise that it was one of those moments that resulted in their impending bundle of joy. In some ways, Lucas was right. They obviously didn't learn from the first and second pregnancies.
Lucas smirked at his father's discomfort and moved in for the kill. "This is what, the third time you've knocked someone up? I guess you are a very slow learner." Dan took a menacing step toward the boy. Lucas refused to back down at this point. Even as an absentee father Dan had loomed like a specter over Luke's life. Sex had become a scary proposition for him, knowing that any girl he touched might end up like his mother. It was hard to get hormonal when intimate contact scared you.
"Lucas," his mother began, intent on cajoling him. He turned away from Dan and cut his mother off. "You have no idea how embarrassing it is to have an unmarried mom who is pregnant when you are sixteen." Lucas had been the victim of lifelong gossip in Tree Hill. He couldn't imagine how bad it would get once the kids at school found out that his mother was sleeping around at her age and getting pregnant.
Lucas shook his head and looked over at both parents in disgust. "Have you considered getting knocked up by someone who actually takes care of his kids?" Lucas asked, nearly enjoying Karen's wincing reaction to his harsh words. "I mean, there aren't many women who get pregnant twice by the same dead beat dad."
Karen had had enough. She stood up and walked over to her son and pushed him down on the couch. "I've had enough of this behavior, Luke. I know you are in shock, but this is not all about you. There are other people involved, like a new baby. And we need to help bring him or her into a loving family."
He leaned back and glared at his mother. "I think the best thing for 'it" is for you to get rid of "it"," he explained, wanting to advise his parents on the best way to remedy this massive mistake.
Dan stood up and paced across the floor, taking in his son's vitriolic reaction. "I know that I've made some mistakes, Lucas. But I'm not running off and leaving this baby behind. I'm going to be a huge part of his life and I'm going to take care of him the way I should have taken care of you," Dan solemnly stated. "I'm going to be the best dad that I can be for this baby.
Sighing, Lucas shook his head knowing that Dan would always miss the major point. "I'm so glad that you've decided to be a good father to the demon spawn. And let's not forget about how you took care of Nate after his mommy died." Lucas summed up, staring deep into Dan's eyes. "I guess the only child that you can't care about or be there for is me." Luke's eyes betrayed how much this fact upset him. The idea that his father wanted to be a father only when Lucas wasn't in the picture. It was hard to not take that kind of rejection personally.
Dan lowered his eyes, knowing that the only way he could explain the reasons he'd stayed away all those years included the fact that Karen wouldn't let him see his son. Dan looked over at Karen with questioning eyes. Maybe now was a good time to tell Lucas that he had tried to get custody after his birth. That he'd wanted his baby boy so much that he'd taken his meager funds and hired a lawyer to help him gain joint custody of Lucas. And yet one look at Karen killed any interest Dan had in telling Lucas those things. He couldn't destroy their relationship just to assuage the anger his son had toward his father.
Sensing that there were more secrets lurking about, waiting to come to light from his parents was the final straw. Lucas stood up and made his way to the door. He pulled the front door open and then paused for a moment, before looking back at Karen. "You should really have aborted me, you know." His calm, sad words greatly upset Karen. "I would have been better off if I'd never been born. But you insisted on bringing an innocent baby into this world of lies and it wasn't fair. It would have been kinder to abort me and save me the pain."
Lucas walked through the door way, pausing on the other side for a moment. "You should probably abort this baby too and save "it" the pain that is waiting for it." Karen immediately started sobbing, unable to run after her son. Dan felt torn, wanting to chase the boy down and make him apologize to his mother, but instead turned to comfort her. Wrapping his arms around her, he gently rubbed her back and tried to calm her down. "We knew he would be upset Karen. He didn't mean what he said." Unfortunately, Dan was fairly certain that Lucas did mean it.
Lucas stumbled down the steps to the street. He couldn't bear to be around those two people any longer. It was like he was suffocating and imploding at the same time. He beat lightly on his chest, realizing that he couldn't get any air into his lungs to breath. A calmer state might have revealed that he was in the midst of a panic attack. But Lucas didn't slow down to resolve the panic attack, nor did he realize he was running down the sidewalk in his socks in the chilly fall weather.
He slowed down as he made it to the end of the block, where Brooke's car was. He found her lingering on the hood of the VW, still decked out in her yellow flannel pajamas.
She stood up and waited for him to walk the last two feet separating them. Lucas stumbled into her arms, finally showing his emotions for the first time that night. Brooke pulled him toward her, holding his body while he cried. The sounds coming from his body were primal, born out of a long suffered pain. Brooke let him sob on her shoulder for a moment, before getting him to a place where he wasn't so panicked or upset.
"I have to get out of here, Brooke," Lucas mumbled, knowing that Tree Hill was the source of all his pain. "It's like I can't breathe here anymore." Brooke realized that it had more to do with his family and their constant lies. "I can get you something for the pain if you want," she suggested.
Luke pulled away from Brooke and nodded at her. "I have about forty dollars on me, what about you?" Brooke searched through her red Birkin bag and produced twenty three dollars. "I'll call Tim's bro and set up a buy." She slinked away and pulled out her cell phone, leaving Lucas alone beside the hood of her car. He fought a sob that was building up in him and tried to find a way to push all the bad feelings out of his life. He just wanted the pain to end so he could be happy again. Brooke walked back over and rubbed his shoulders.
"We're all set. We just need to find a safe please to stay." She had doubled back to Luke's room after Dan had kicked her out and grabbed her purse. It had been a good idea, seeing that she needed her car keys to make a quick getaway.
She pulled him up off the sidewalk and opened the car door. Getting him settled, she watched as he went for the hidden gin bottle stashed under the seat. Closing the door, Brooke knew that they were going to have one hell of a ride tonight.
Replies, reaction and Karen hate are always appreciated. I know this is a politically devisive topic, at least in the Puritanical States, but it's part of the story. A wounder bear is a dangerous bear and Lucas is pissed. He's always had a way with words and he knows just how to hurt Karen. That said, I love replies, so feel free to let me know how you fell. Thanks to Tanya and BandBabe for their encouragement. I might just get a new chapter written some day. Go Wings!!!!!!