Chapter 5

Whispers. That is what I heard as I walked through the group home. Everyone was whispering about the new girl. Whispers that I had grown terribly accustomed to. They never ceased and they were hardly true.

"Where did she come from?"

"Why is she here?"

"I heard she's a murder magnet."

"They only put the worst in room 13."

"I wonder what happened to her parents."

"I heard that her biological dad kept her locked up."

"She must be really insane."

"I heard she killed a guy."

"I wonder if she will shoot us too."

The words melted together until they just were on a continuous loop in my head. I should have been used to this by now. I should have been able to let it roll off of my skin like a wave on a shore, but it didn't. It never has. Words cut deeper than any knife could.

I held my head up, acting as if nothing they said affected me. Pretending like I hadn't heard a word of their rumors. My legs carried me through hallways and past living spaces until finally I made it to the door that led to the outside courtyard. I had seen it from my room. It held lush green grass and tall oak trees. The trees had caught my attention right away. They reminded me of ones I had climbed as a young girl in the first group home I had stayed at.

I stopped at the base of the largest tree. It was tucked into the corner and felt safe. In my hand I clutched my journal and a pen. My eyes wandered up into the thick branches, trying to sort out a path. My feet were steady as I found holds for them and soon I was far enough from the bottom that I felt I could let my guard drop. I sat down on the thickest branch and let my back rest against the trunk.

A sigh of relief escaped from my lips and my head laid against the rough bark. I closed my eyes and felt tears spring to them, but I pushed them away. Shaking my head, I opened the journal that I still had a tight grip on and flipped to the first blank page.

"Dear Dad," I wrote, "I never thought I'd have to do this again. I thought that when you adopted me, it was final. Who knew someone could mess with a finalized adoption? Not me, that's for sure! If you can't tell, I'm laughing sarcastically right now. Sorry, I didn't mean to make light of the situation. It shouldn't have surprised me though, I should be used to the boulders of pain life throws at me. I miss you. I know, I know, it's only been a few hours, Jes! Get a grip! But I do. I miss you more than I had when you were locked away in some underground torture chamber in North Korea."

I paused in my note writing and remembered back a few months. How had it been only a few months? It seemed like a lifetime ago. I feel like I had grown so much in just that short amount of time.

I continued on, "You probably thought I didn't even know about North Korea and the torture chamber, right? You told me it all had been a mistake and that the injuries you encountered were from some angry guys you had helped put away. You may be able to lie to suspects, but you aren't very good at lying to your daughter."

"I am still your daughter? I'm scared that Susan Wright will win. I'm scared that she is going to take me away from you forever and even when I'm an adult there will be no way for me to get to you because Susan Wright will be just like him. She will be exactly like her brother. She will lock me away and throw away the key. I'm terrified. They won't let me call you. I want to call you and they put a monitor on my cell phone. I can't call anyone without a chaperone."

I huffed, thinking about all of the rules they'd placed on me, "I'm also not allowed to leave without permission from the director or his minions. They are minions. They're all brainwashed. I hate it here. Rumors are already circulating about me. Apparently, I've been placed into the bad kid's room. I'm a bad kid? I guess so, otherwise I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have been born to two psychopaths and I would never have had to leave you. Obviously, I've done something wrong to deserve this punishment."

Tears stung my eyes as I thought of what I'd right next, "I really miss you, Dad. I miss you so much that it hurts to breathe. I want to come home. I want to finish decorating the Christmas tree with you and I want to sit on our couch to watch White Christmas... But I can't. None of that will ever happen again and then I'm back to square one. I miss you, it hurts to breathe. I love you so much, Dad. I don't say it nearly enough, but I do. It's stupid to even write this, you probably will never get this letter. I can't help it though. I need to do something. Love, Jes. Oh, p.s. I found this amazing tree. That's where I'm currently writing from. I'm hidden inside the large branches and I almost hope I fall out and end up in the hospital. We can blame it on Susan! :) That would be a real treat!"

I laughed easily as I closed my journal and held it to my chest. I could make it through this, I had to make it through this. My dad was fighting for me so I needed to fight for him. I climbed down from the tree after sitting in it a little while longer. Before entering the building again, I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath.

Seven hours, twenty-three minutes, forty-two seconds since Jessa had been taken from me. It was like someone had torn me to pieces. I was to go about my normal routine, which meant Five-O headquarters and shuffling through old cases. Susan Wright's lawyer was going to contact me with more details.

A lawyer. I needed a lawyer. I hated lawyers and now I had to trust one to win this battle for me. I didn't know any lawyers. Well, except for-

"What do you want, McGarrett?" Came the gruff voice.

"Listen, I really need your help. It's important." I said to none other than Odell Martin.

He grumbled, "It's always important with you. You still owe me for last time."

"I know and I'll owe you the rest of my life if you do this one thing for me." I was on the verge of begging.

"Lay it on me, McGarrett."

I let out a sigh of relief, "I need a lawyer."

"No, absolutely not. Remember? One time deal." Martin demanded.

"I know, but this- this is real. My daughter was taken from me and I need a lawyer to win the trial. I need a good lawyer. Someone I trust. Please."

There was a long pause and for a moment I thought he had hung up, "Fine, I'll do it."

"You will? Thank you! Come to my office in an hour and we can get to it. Thank you, Martin. I owe you big time." I stated.

"Yeah, yeah, just add it to the tab." And with that he hung up.

I let the phone slide out of my grip and my head fell into my hands. I had a lawyer and yet, I still felt like I couldn't breathe. I had never been very dependent on anyone. Maybe my Aunt Deb, but that had been a long time ago. Ever since the first day I met Jessa, we had been dependent on each other. We had become a family and now that family was being threatened.

"Hey." Danny knocked on the opened glass door of my office. I lifted my head up, "We're going to get her back, Steve. We have to. There's no way the judge won't rule in your favor."

I nodded my head and he left. I'm not sure how long I spent staring at the picture of Jessa on my desk. It was one from Thanksgiving. Her face was lit up as she tried to make a touch down. It was one of my favorite pictures of her. She seemed truly happy and it always made me smile. This girl, who the world had taken so much from, could still smile. It was a wonder.

I pulled out a piece of paper with my letterhead on it. "Dear Jes, I never thought that in a million years I would have a teenage daughter right now. I never could have imagined the joy that you would have brought my life and now that I've had that joy, I won't let it go so easily. You are my everything. You are my family. You are my daughter."

"I was always so reckless in the cases we worked on. Always dodging bullets and knives, not caring if I got hit or not, but since you have come into my life I am more careful. I no longer act without thinking because doing that could very well cost me the thing I am working so hard to hold on to right now. You." I paused in my writing. Why was I even doing this? I never shared my feeling like this. That's not who I was or am.

"Every time we go out in the field now, I take every precaution to be careful. I finally understand why Danno got so upset with me at times. I was a reckless idiot. I thought I was strong, I mean I know I have always been strong. But you, Jes, you are my strength. You keep me from jumping head first into a gun fight. I keep hoping that when I go home, you'll be waiting for me on the couch. Sitting there, catching up on your newest "favorite" television show, and waiting for me to come home so that we can have dinner together. But I know that as soon as I walk into the house, it will be empty. Void of your laughter, your happiness, you."

I stared at the words I was writing, "Sara Croft won't give me the information on where you are staying. I'm half tempted to hack into her files to find it. I'm sure Kono has already done it. I should just ask her. You said I couldn't stop the system? Then I'll die trying. I'm fighting for this, Jes, I'm fighting for us. Just hold on a little while. We'll beat this. I promise. I love you, Jessa Mae McGarrett, my daughter. Keep your head up. Love, Dad."

I stopped and mulled the last part over in my head before adding, "p.s. Please don't do anything stupid or dangerous while you're not under my care. I really don't want to get a call to hear that you're in the hospital."

I laid down my pen and carefully folded the pieces of paper together. I unlocked my top drawer and laid it next to her Christmas gift. I had gotten her the Calamity Jane vinyl signed by Doris Day. She had been searching for it for years, or so she said and I just so happened to know a guy who was in to buying collectible records. It was in perfect condition, but in order for me to keep is a Christmas present I had to keep at the office. I smiled at the nosiness that was Jessa and suddenly I felt like everything would be alright. She would be back, I just knew it.

I know it has been well over a month since I have updated. I can't apologize enough for that! I hope this chapter somewhat helps you forgive me! I am just about finished with school so I should have much more free time to write and update my stories! Thank you all for your patience and your continued support. What did you think about this chapter? Reviews are always welcomed!

See you soon,

Theatrefreak10