Author's note:

In the Comics between 2009 and STID the Enterprise first encounters the mirror universe and later Jane T. Kirk and her crew. In the last issue before STB they also get a glimpse into the Prime universe. The comics "To boldly go" tell the story after STB during the construction of the Enterprise-A. Kirk then commands the USS Endeavour and they meet the Borg for the first time...

Chapter 5: The first step

Very early in the morning Jamie was sitting on the floor in front of a panorama window on the observation deck. Her hands were wrapped around her knees. She was tired, hadn't really slept. She was so absorbed in the thoughts that had kept her awake she didn't notice Commander Spock sitting down next to her.

"I have been thinking about our conversation last night."

Her head flew around.

"I am sorry for startling you", he apologized.

"It's alright." She rested her chin on her knees and let her gaze wander to the deep space they were currently drifting in. "So... did you tell the Captain who I am?"

"No."

She cocked her head while still letting it rest on her knees. "Why?"

"You are right. It is better this way. The strange thing only is that I was in a similar situation when your mother first came on the ship."

Jamie smiled slightly, but said nothing.

"I could destroy the letter addressed to you, so you would never receive it", Spock suggested, half-heartedly as she realized immediately. It would change the timeline - which neither of them wanted.

Jamie chewed at her bottom lip. "He knew there would be no David..." she slowly started. She didn't want to talk about the letter, but couldn't stop herself either. "Don't get me wrong, it's no bad letter. I don't exactly mind knowing all those things... But it got me pretty rattled and made me think about... a few things..."

Spock remained silent.

"The Ambassador kept tabs on Mum and Dad. He was hoping they would get together and start a family, but... a lot was different. In the end, the Ambassador actually thought they were on a better path. Only, that path meant that there was no David. He would have been born in 2261. But here, in this universe, Mum and Dad started barely dating by then." She shook her head smiling. "It's funny, actually. In the other timeline Jim Kirk didn't become Captain of the Enterprise until 2265, but he knew Mum much earlier and she got pregnant - but it didn't work out for them. She raised David on her own. In this reality, he - all of you - stumbled on the fast lane when the Narada showed up. Dad got the Enterprise in 2258, but he and Mum met later, under other circumstances and started a serious relationship not until... well, about now... 2263..." She stopped herself, not wanting to say too much... more.

"Their relationship will hold?" Spock asked though he knew how dangerous it could be to know about the future. He appreciated her being so careful in that regard.

Jamie simply nodded. "I'm actually glad that she's not on the ship right now. At least the Guardian saved me from accidentally screwing something up between them."

"Dr. Marcus will return from the conference right in time for the Captain's birthday."

"I better be gone by then", Jamie said, thinking not only about Carol Marcus, but once again about the upcoming events on Yorktown and Altamid. In two days the Enterprise would dock... and she should be gone by then. For a brief moment she was tempted to tell Spock, that Carol would soon find out that she was pregnant.

Spock nodded. "Do you think she would not believe that you are an alternate version of the Captain?"

"I'm not sure. I don't want to risk it. And I hope the Guardian won't either and open the portal for me." She sighed. "So what now?"

"Now you take one step at a time. Maybe the first thing you need to do is to step out of the shadow of someone, who did not exist in this timeline. Because you do. This is your life and you are on a very important mission. You are letting yourself be paralyzed by the thought about what has happened in the other reality. He lived there and he died there. But you are here. This is your universe."

A strange feeling came over Jamie. She knew Spock, well the older version of this Spock, all her life. And yet, now she was seeing a side of him she'd never noticed before. In this moment, he wasn't the uncle, who had helped raising her - here, he was a friend trying to help. And she suddenly felt stronger.

Crossing paths with James Kirk was unavoidable, of course. Jamie decided to take a leap forward and, holding a cup of coffee, sat down at the table he was having breakfast alone. She just needed to be careful not to blow her cover. "Hi."

He looked up. "Hi."

She took a sip of her coffee. "Not bad, but also not good", she commented and put the cup on the table. Actually, she was more of a tea person like her mother. But walking around with tea might have looked suspicious.

"Yeah... maybe we're getting something better at Yorktown."

Jamie nodded slowly. "I'm really sorry for barging in like that yesterday."

"You mentioned some portal."

She tilted her head and winked. "Yeah, well, spoilers... You will find out for yourself. I don't want to mess with the timeline... here..." And there was that very thin line again...

Jim Kirk held her gaze, then finally nodded. "I guess it's better not to know what some other me has run into. Or all other parallel versions, that is."

She stared at him in surprise and tried not to let it show. She was glad he didn't quiz her about her life and work. And she was also a little bit - okay, quite - shocked that these words struck right in the middle of that tornado of thoughts which didn't let her go.

"When we first met ourselves from another reality it was quite amusing. There was a Jane Kirk." The Captain slightly chuckled. "But other encounters weren't that much fun, even dangerous."

"How many other Kirks did you meet?" she asked curiously - genuinely curious, because it occurred to her that she had never really talked with her father about the other versions of himself he had met over the years. Suddenly she realized that it must have taken quite a toll on him. Or Spock. Oh my, she hadn't even asked Spock in their conversations, how he...well, felt, about his older self and the differences in their lives.

"Three, I guess, but I stopped counting after the second time. "

"Do you..." she trailed off and hesitated to really ask. "... ever wonder if everything is right? The way it's meant to be?"

"Are you kidding?" Jim laughed. "The mind meld with the older Spock on Delta Vega and seeing his reality's future was one thing, but a dark, evil version of myself or a female one... now the second time... and only a month ago strange glimpses in the universe Ambassador Spock came from... I wouldn't even know where to begin."

Jamie froze. The Ambassador's reality. The incident with that Enterprise had been, from this point of time, only a few weeks ago. And Altamid, the destruction of the Enterprise, the crew splitting up during the rebuild and the first encounter with the Borg were right around the corner. She was getting now a pretty good hunch why the Guardian of Forever had sent her here.

"I take it you haven't met that many other versions of you... well, us, I mean?"

"No, only heard about, but never met." She stared into her coffee cup. She felt suddenly very stupid that she'd let herself so thrown so very off balance by that letter about David.

And, God, it was really, really weird talking to her own father, who was thinking he was sitting opposite to a female version of himself from a parallel universe - and not his daughter from the future. But then again, when did the Kirk-Family ever do anything normal?

"Well, gotta go, Alpha shift's starting", the Captain suddenly said and rose. "See you later."

"Yeah..." Jamie looked after him and was not sure what to do next. These last few weeks she really wasn't herself.