'Sup?
Genre: Comedy/Vaguely Romance?
Characters: Captain Scarlett, Nisha
Nisha's Worst Nightmare
Nisha's eyes widened in horror. Law clattered to the hard packed dirt of Lynchwood's main street as her fingers lost their grip. A quiet, breathless, 'no' escaped her lips.
Her Echo buzzed to life, an all too familiar voice on the other end. "Admiring the posters I put up, eh Nish?"
Her eyes darted over the wall of the courthouse. It was completely covered in them. "H-how? Why?" Nisha finally managed to choke out.
"The how was pretty easy, it's really just all the material I've been threatening you with for years. With a few addition from that… excursion we took into the Sands a few months ago. If you want the technical details, my cybernetic eye isn't just for show. It also takes pictures, and oh do I have a lot of them." Scarlett cleared her throat. "As for the why, well, that's very simple. Remember that little stunt of yours, hiring mercenaries to burn down my ship and slaughter my crew? Shame on you."
Nisha's eyes took in the collage of images. Most were a scandal in their own right, and here were a hundred of them, at least, all pasted to the side of the Lynchwood courthouse.
"Still admiring?" Scarett's voice crackled through. "See that one on the bottom left, with you wearing only your hat and holster? With that look in your eyes that says 'I've been a bad sheriff, punish me Scarlett.' That's one's my favorite. I've even got a framed copy of it hanging up in my cabin. Right across from my bed."
Nisha's cheeks burned, and her fingers curled into a fist, her knuckles turning pale as she pictured Scarlett's neck in her hand. "If I ever catch you around here again…"
"You'll what? Punish me? Throw me in that biscuit tin of a jail? I'll break out. Hang me? You wouldn't, because I know that you get off on hangings, and you wouldn't give me the satisfaction. Shoot me? Not torturous enough. Try and humiliate me like I just did to you? Not bloody likely, I've got no shame as is."
She couldn't see her face, but Nisha was sure Scarlett was grinning ear to ear right now.
"You know," Scarlett said. "On second thought, maybe I like the one of you with the silk scarf wrapped around you better. It's more dignified. Plus, that was when you had short hair, before you looked like a frumpy soccer mom. Not that I don't love all of your looks, but still, I have preferences."
Nisha pulled her Echo from her belt and dropped it onto the street. She quietly breathed in, counted to three, and then slammed her boot down onto the Echo. There were a few seconds of silence.
Scarlett's barely contained laughter crackled through. "Did you just try to destroy your Echo rather than listen to me? Or even just turn it off?" Scarlett's voice came filled with heavy static from the damage. "Oh, that's rich."
Nisha brought her foot down on the Echo again. Scarlett gave up and burst into laughter.
"Look, before you break it, I should warn you to check the other side of the courthou-"
Nisha brought all her weight down on the Echo. There was a quick crackle of static as it broke into fragments, then blissful silence. It took a few seconds for Scarlett's last words to sink in.
Nisha started to walk towards the other side of the courthouse, then broke into a run after a few steps. When she reached the other side, her rage rendered her speechless for the second time in a day.
Plastered across the entire side of the building was a giant photograph of her and Scarlett, deep in the middle of a kiss. Scarlett had her hand around the back of Nisha's neck, and Nisha had both her arms wrapped around Scarlett, pulling her tight. Across the bottom of the picture, in large, flowing cursive, was written: "Love, Scarlett. Your bestie with benefits."
A/N: In case you haven't figured it out by now I'm "a filthy Scarlett/Nisha shipper" as my friend puts it.