A Season in Purgatory
Chapter 73
Haley glanced around the dark parking lot in concern, convinced Brooke had given her the wrong address. "This place is creepy," she commented, as Nathan pulled his SUV into a parking place in the worn parking lot.
They watched as a tattered neon sign blinked on and off, giving the place an extra special serial killer vibe. Nathan shrugged his shoulders at his girlfriend. "Maybe this is the only place that was renting rooms this late at night," he suggested. It was past midnight on Thanksgiving night and Nate felt like the day was never going to end.
Haley glanced around at the various cars in the parking lot for a moment. "Or maybe this is the kind of place that rents rooms by the hour. We did tell her to find some place that no one would think to find her."
Nathan reluctantly got out of his SUV. "This is definitely a place you wouldn't expect to find Brooke Davis," he replied, as he wrapped a protective arm around his girlfriend. He walked down the row of dilapidated rooms until he found the room number that Brooke texted him. He looked at Haley for a second and then raised his hand and knocked.
A few seconds later the door opened, revealing an exhausted looking Lucas. He stepped back and let the couple into the dingy hotel room. Haley looked around the room, concerned when she didn't immediately see Brooke.
Lucas nodded to the bathroom. "She's washing her face," he quietly said, looking helplessly at his brother and friend. He picked up a glass and took a swig, motioning them to sit down.
Nathan motioned toward his glass. "Do you think this is the right time to be drinking?" He could smell the alcohol several feet away. Nate was a bit disappointed that Lucas was hitting the bottle when he should have been supporting Brooke.
Lucas downed the rest of the drink and shrugged his shoulders. "Man, if ever there is a right time to drink, this is it," he numbly replied. Ignoring his brother, Lucas poured himself another drink and then sank into the tattered arm chair near the bed. He'd already swallowed a handful of Valium and Hydrocodone. Lucas was stressed out and needed something to coax his heart rate down to a livable level. He forced himself to relax, trying to forgive himself not being all that Brooke needed him to be. He took another drink, hoping that the alcohol would steady his frayed nerves so that he could help his girlfriend get through the night.
Haley looked around the worn room for a place to sit down and decided that the bed looked to be the cleanest option. "These are pretty nice sheets for such a nasty place," she commented to no one in particular.
"The sheets are mine but the owner is a nice guy," Brooke quietly commented, walking out of the tiny bathroom. "He always rents me a room even though he knows I'm under age."
Nathan ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "You stay here often enough to know the owner?" he asked. Brooke shrugged at his question. "I had to find some place to stay when I couldn't crash with you. This place is kind of like my home away from home."
She moved slowly across the room, as if she'd aged in a matter of hours since they'd seen her last. Haley motioned Brooke over to sit next to her on the bed. "We finished fixing the wall at your house," she commented. "If anyone goes looking for a bullet hole, they won't find one."
Brooke smiled at them vaguely, her presence so very dim from what they were used to seeing. "Thanks. I really owe you both for tonight," she softly said, looking over at Lucas. "All three of you, of course." He raised his eyebrows at the over sight, before downing his drink.
Haley rubbed her friend on the back. "Do you want to talk about it?" she softly asked. Brooke shook her head slightly, convinced she'd said way too much that night already.
Nathan moved in front of her and squatted down so he was at eye level with his friend. "Brooke, I think we need to go to the police." He didn't think rape was something he and his friends could responsibly handle.
Brooke looked up, panic written all over her face. "No . . . we can't tell anyone about this," she insisted, her voice rising with each syllable. Her heart started pounding in her chest and she felt what little control she had left slipping away from her. Her family would hate her even more if she accused her stepbrother of rape. She couldn't face anyone else calling her a slut or bringing up her less than stellar past.
Haley glanced over at Lucas, who seemed to be zoned out. She reached her foot out and nudged his leg, trying to get him to react to Brooke's words.
"Brooke, maybe it is time to get an adult involved," Lucas ventured, before a withering look from his girlfriend cut him off. He sank lower into the chair, silent recriminations running through his head.
"It's my life and I don't think talking about this is going to help me," she stated, even as her voice trembled. She was so tired. She couldn't recall a time she felt so worn out, not even when she'd gotten mono her sophomore year. It's like she'd invested all her energy into keeping secrets and now that they were out, she had nothing left for herself.
Haley gently rubbed Brooke's back, trying to offer any solace that she could even as tears streamed down Brooke's face. "You need to file a police report so that J.J. doesn't get away with this," she argued, disgusted by the idea that this creep could hurt someone and not be brought to justice.
"He's already gotten away with it," Brooke somberly said. "I have no proof, no D.N.A.. It's just my word against his." She considered going to the police in the months after it happened but unlike TV shows, there wasn't much the police could do without proof.
Nathan, still kneeling in front of her, gently grabbed her hand. "We can all testify that we saw him attack you and that he tried to rape you again the night of the cotillion." She smiled at him, knowing that both he and Lucas tried to get her to press charges that night. But she was too weak to do the right thing that night, just as she'd been too weak to fight off J.J. the night of the rape. She'd lived a life of nothing but bad choices.
"I can't do this," she softly replied. "If I go to the police and no one believes me then it's like being attacked all over again." She forced herself to breathe and to ignore the anguish she felt. She was on the verge of being overwhelmed with the lack of control that swirled around her.
Lucas finally reacted to all the angst around him. "No one is going to force you to do anything, Brooke. Whatever happens next is your decision." He ignored Nathan's incredulous reaction. Brooke had so very little control over her life in the last year and Lucas wasn't going to force her to do something against her will.
Haley tried to reassure Brooke. "Nathan and Lucas saw him attack you after Cotillion. I can back up their story because I saw how he tore your clothes and beat you up later that night." She felt the tide turning in the room. Haley feared that Brooke would shove this back down and ignore the chance to get help.
She reached out and hugged Brooke. "You need help, Brooke. You've stopped eating and going to school. You need to talk to someone and get help." Haley knew someone needed to do something here, but the resolution was beyond her sixteen years. Brooke had sworn her to secrecy which ruled out going to someone to get her help.
Brooke abruptly stood up and moved across the small room to stand by herself. "Talking about it might make you all feel better but it doesn't make me feel better," she explained, tired of this discussion already.
Standing up, Lucas moved to his girlfriend's side. "The main thing we need to focus on is getting Brooke out of that house permanently," he decided, fighting to focus on the words in his alcohol addled brain.
Nathan stood up and turned to face his friend. "I think my house is out, since Karen's spending so much time there." He hated that Karen couldn't see how sweet Brooke could be. But he also understood that Karen couldn't be stressed out right now, for the health of his future sibling. "I'm not sure if the beach house is an option either, since they've been spending time out there as well."
Lucas thought for a moment, fighting through a bit of inertia. He was finding it hard to focus on much of what was going on around him. "I think it's time we talked to Anna." He knew that Brooke trusted Anna and that she might be able to help them find a way out for Brooke.
The silence in the dining room grew as Karen stared incredulously at her future sister in law. "How dare you accuse me of getting pregnant on purpose," she spurted out, furious that this woman was judging her for a past she knew nothing about.
Anna ignored the pleading looks she was getting from both Dan and Keith. "Dan was going off to school and you were afraid that he was moving on to a life you weren't a part of. What better way to make sure he came back than to get pregnant with his child."
Dan moved in between the women, trying to stop this insane argument. "Anna, we were together for a long time before Karen got pregnant. And I was just as responsible for birth control as she was," he argued, hoping to disarm the anger he saw on Karen's face. "And as you can see, we've not gotten much better at it with age."
Anna turned back toward Karen. "What you fail to see is that Brooke gives Lucas unconditional loyalty. He knows that he's got someone in his corner that will support him and listen to him without lecturing him. Brooke gives Luke the loyalty that he's not getting from you."
Frowning at the woman's words, Karen shook her head in confusion. "I don't know what you are talking about. Lucas and I were inseparable until Brooke came into his life."
"No, you and Lucas were inseparable until Dan came into your life," Anna stated. "You've done some unforgivable things regarding Lucas," she said, nodding toward Dan. "No offense," Anna added, looking at her brother in law.
Dan shrugged his shoulders at her words. "No offense taken." He couldn't exactly claim the high road here, considering how he'd abandoned his own child from birth. Karen interrupted his contemplations. "Lucas needs to get over Dan's presence in our life and accept it," Karen coldly replied. She was tired of being judged by everyone in this town.
"That's why Lucas is so upset with you. You abandoned him for a man, just like Luke is leaving you for Brooke. Maybe you should just accept it and move on," Anna snidely suggested. Seeing that Karen was actually listening to her, she took a different tact.
"I know you live in fear that Luke will end up trying to find happiness from an unhappy home with Brooke, just like you tried to find it with Dan. I get that's why you hate Brooke, because you see her trapping your son. But that's why Lucas feels the need to protect her. It's like a stupid Greek tragedy where you enable what you sought to avoid."
Karen fought back tears, refusing to go back to her own years of teen angst. She moved closer to where Anna stood. "You have no right making judgments about me."
Shrugging her shoulders, Anna picked her words carefully. "I've been that unhappy girl in that unhappy home, desperate to get out. Just like you were and just like Brooke is. Someone needs to stand up for Brooke before you tear her to pieces. Brooke has made mistakes, but she's only sixteen. What's your excuse?" Anna quietly asked.
The room was deadly quiet, even Roy not knowing what to say to the recriminations bouncing around the room. Knowing she'd made her point, Anna moved a few steps back to gain some space from the woman she wanted to throttle. "It ends now, Dan. I'm not going to sit around and watch while Karen picks on Brooke." Keith smiled at his wife, knowing that her protective instincts had only grown stronger with the birth of their baby.
Keith moved his wife toward the door, knowing that needed to collect their son and go home before Anna and Karen went at each other. He turned toward his brother and softly said, "You need to consider letting Luke move in with us. I think everyone needs time to cool off before you two get married."
Looking at Karen, Dan knew that was an entirely new battle brewing within the family. "Keith, I appreciate your concern about Lucas, but we've got to learn to live together at some point. Allowing him to run to you isn't going to make that process any easier."
Keith shook his head at his younger brother, knowing that there were no easy answers to their family problems. But then again, there had never been any easy answers when his brother and father were involved. He turned and walked out of the room, intent on getting his family home.
Brooke stood with Nathan at the threshold of the door. It was growing late and they'd decided to call it a night and attempt to put the pieces back together the next day. Nathan pulled Brooke outside to get a moment alone with her.
Brushing her hair away from her face, he stared at her a moment. "I'm worried about you, Brooke," he softly commented. He felt so helpless and small in that moment. "I'm sorry that I didn't understand what you were going through. I'm sorry that I didn't dig deeper to find out what happened."
She sniffled a bit at the angst she heard in his voice. "I wanted to tell you, Nate. I just didn't know how to explain what was going on. I tried telling Peyton and she made me feel stupid and sleazy."
He grew angry at her words. "Peyton is a self involved bitch. She's too busy playing games to realize you were serious."
Brooke leaned back against the brick wall of the hotel room. "She didn't know what to say, just like no one knows what to say. I should have reported it the night it happened," she reflected.
Nate put his arm around her and pulled her into him. "You were fifteen, Brooke. Fifteen year olds shouldn't have to know when to call the police or not. You need to stop beating yourself up for everything you've ever done in your life."
She nodded at him, incapable of speaking in that moment. Nathan peered around the door, where Haley was deep in conversation with his brother. "Are you going to be okay with him tonight?" he softly asked, knowing that Lucas had been drinking.
Brooke smiled at the concern and reprimand in his voice. "He's had a rough night, Nate. But it will be okay and we'll all get on with life in the morning." It wasn't the best argument she'd ever made in her life, but it was all she had. The time for confrontation was coming. She couldn't let him go on like this for ever. But just for tonight, she'd let him seek his refuge.
Haley stared at Lucas with narrow eyes. "You need to stop drinking, Luke. It's getting out of control." He stared at her with glazed eyes, knowing that the pills and the booze were actually taking affect. "Do I look out of control to you, Hales?"
She fought the urge to slap him into reality. "The fact that you've nearly emptied that bottle and you are still in control speaks volumes, Luke." She was torn between taking Brooke home with her and staying the night to ensure that Brooke had some company if she needed it. But in the end, she had to trust that Luke could take care of his girlfriend.
"If you need anything tonight, call me," she instructed, hoping that he'd go to bed and sleep it off. She headed to the door to say good bye to Brooke.
A few minutes later, Brooke walked back into the room and closed the door, making sure to lock it and put up the security chain. She slowly turned toward Lucas and gave him a sad smile. "Long night." It was more a statement than a question.
Lucas stared at her for a moment before taking a long drink from his glass. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of him kicking back booze, wondering where he'd managed to find the booze and get it into the hotel room without her knowledge.
"Should you be drinking?" she casually asked, worried that she'd end up taking care of a drunk rather than receiving the solace that she desperately needed.
He took another drink, slightly annoyed at the tone in her voice. "You are starting to sound like my mom."
Brooked crossed the room and sank down on the bed across from the chair he was sitting in. "Maybe your mother and I see the same thing," she lightly replied, not wanting to fight with him. Not being able to fight with him on this particular night.
Lucas drained his cup before replying. "I'm just trying to relax," he said, reaching for the other bottle he'd brought from her room. He glanced at her disheveled, small form before taking a blanket out of her emergency bag and putting it around her shoulders. "Put this on, you're shivering."
She wrapped the blanket around her, happy that she finally had a chance to talk to Luke alone. She needed to know that he stilled loved her after everything he'd heard that night.
"Are you mad at me?" she asked, in a timid voice. She spent most of their time together evading both his questions and the truth. She was no better than Karen with her deceptions.
Lucas dropped his cup and moved over to sit next to her. "Why would I be upset?" he asked, not wanting to overwhelm her with his feelings of inadequacy.
She looked at his face, gauging his level of sobriety. "Because I didn't tell you the truth about the rape and what my stepfather was doing to me."
He sighed, feeling more tired than he'd ever felt before. "I thought you could tell me things," he quietly said. "I thought you trusted me."
She teared up at his words. "I wanted to tell you. But I felt so stupid and dirty. I didn't think you'd love me if you knew the truth," she confessed, feeling better now that she'd actually said that thought out loud.
"I'm not that shallow, Brooke, and I'd hope that you'd know that I'm not a conditional friend," he softly replied, pulling her hair away from her face so he could look in her eyes.
Her eyes brimmed with tears. "I thought Peyton wasn't that shallow but she told me I was being stupid about my stepfather. She said that I thought everyone wanted to sleep with me."
Lucas pulled her closer, realizing that Brooke needed support more than he needed answers. He knew she loved him, and on some level, that had to be enough. "Petyon is a bitch. She's incapable of dealing with anyone's pain but her own." His own heart ached at how he'd let Brooke down, how he didn't protect her when she'd needed him the most.
Brooke stood up. "I need to take a shower. I want to wash them off me," she quietly said, knowing that he'd understand what she meant. "Can we finish talking about this later?" she asked, knowing that they needed to get some sleep before they fell over.
He nodded, giving her a reassuring smile as she headed for the tiny bathroom. He walked over to the bag he'd packed in Brooke's closet and pulled out a bag of pills. He felt so stressed out, like a failure in life. All he had in the world was Brooke and he failed to protect her when she needed him the most. Just as he'd failed to stop Dan from moving in on his mother.
He tried to slowly exhale, like Dr. Andrews showed him, to no avail. Noting Brooke was still in the shower, he surreptitiously opened the bag and grabbed three pills. Washing them down with some tequila, he leaned back and waited for Brooke to come out. Maybe now he'd be relaxed enough to take care of her.
Brooke stood in the steam filled room, soaking in the solitude she'd found there. Her skin was red from standing under a scalding hot stream of water for nearly an hour and being scrubbed from head to toe. She hoped that Lucas hadn't fallen asleep yet. She really wanted him to hold her and tell her it was going to be okay.
Pulling her hair into a loose ponytail, she slid on some clean clothes and finally opened the door and walked out to the bedroom. She looked at the bed and found Lucas there, apparently sleeping. Sighing, she walked over to him and brushed her hand against his face.
Frowning, she looked closer, noting how his skin felt clammy. She looked at his chest and saw him struggling to breathe. His breath was irregular and his skin had a bluish tint.
"Lucas, I need to look at me," she said, panic creeping into her voice. She gave him a minute or so to react, before lightly smacking his face to get a reaction out of him. A sense of helplessness overwhelmed her as she took in the empty bottle of tequila on the floor beside the bed.
Grabbing her phone, she went to call Nathan before hesitating. Was this another bad decision? Nate had no idea what to do when a person was non-responsive. She stared at her phone for a moment before dialing 911.
Dan jerked awake at the sound of an insistent ringing sound. He sat up, staring at the clock beside his bed, wondering who in the hell was calling at three o'clock in the morning. Careful to not wake up Karen, who was sleeping beside him, he grabbed the phone off its cradle. "Hello," he softly said, waking up instantly at the voice on the other end of the phone. "I'll be there in a moment," he said, hanging up the phone and leaning over to find the clothes he'd discarded earlier that night.
Karen rolled over and mumbled "what's going on?" He placed a kiss on her check before heading for the door. "Go back to sleep, Kar. I'll take care of this."
That's one way to end a chapter, eh?
I know, It's been a while. I've decided that the story takes too long to write when all your beta's grow up and get real lives and don't have time to edit. If anyone is interested in beta'ing it might help me post chapters faster. I sat on this chapter for a month, not knowing if it hit the right notes or not. Thanks for reading and replying. All comments and criticism is appreciated.