(Poppy's POV)

Most people had left, only the few closest to us stayed...Kim...Melissa...Phillip. I was in my room shoving clothes in a bag. I was in two minds whether to take the things Rachel had bought for me, I mean they were mine. They were my size, taste...But she'd bought them and it didn't feel right. I sighed heavily unable to decide. I got changed into some jeans, converse and a tshirt just packing the last few bits. I hadn't realised I left the door open and Kim walked straight in.

"Going somewhere?" She asked

Was there any point on lying? She was probably going to tell Rachel anyway I just had to hope I could get a head start...

"Yeah, I'm leaving...Rachel doesn't need me here causing her more heartache, she's been through enough"

"Isn't that for Rachel to decide?" Kim asked

"No. Rachel's a good person she'll always put other people before herself, including me even though I've been a total brat, I've pushed her away, lied to her, said stuff I didn't mean and now she's torn apart over Em because of me" I said

"How is Emily's death your fault?" Kim asked

"Because I shouldn't have got sucked in. That first day when Rachel recognised me we should have moved, because then Em would be alive and Rachel would have been spared all these crappy feelings. Its my fault"

"Emily's death isn't your fault and Rachel is a lot tougher than you think, she's dealt with a lot worse than you..."

"Even so, I'm just hurting her if I stay" I replied

"Don't you think its her choice?"

"She's young, she has Adam they can have their own family..."

"I think you're just running away from your feelings, but its your choice. Think about it..." Kim said finally before leaving me alone once again, she walked back downstairs...

I rounded up a few final pieces of clothing and other stuff then I closed my bag and opened the window dropping it out. It landed softly on the grass and I climbed out after it, winching myself down the drainpipe until I was far enough down it to jump. I landed in a crouched position and picked up my bag putting it on my back before I stood up. I looked up and stopped dead in my tracks...There leaning against her navy blue audi TT was Rachel. How had she gotten there so fast? She was like a ninja?

"Is that it?" She said "No goodbye?"

"How did you get there so fast?" I asked

"Nevermind that. Where you going to say anything? Or were you just going to disappear off into the night?" Rachel asked

"I'm just causing you more pain if I stay" I told her

"What did you think was going to happen if you went? Did you think I'd just let you go? That I wouldn't be out every day and every night searching for you? Because I would..." She said

"But all this is my fault and its tearing you apart..."

"Its tearing me apart because I loved Em and I love you! If I didn't care, I wouldn't be upset would I?" She asked

"I guess not..."

"Now I think you and me need to have a little chat inside and I'd prefer it if we used the door not the drainpipe..." She said

She put her arm around my shoulders and steered me inside.

"I've got her!" She called "We'll be upstairs if anyone needs us"

We went up to my room where I dumped my bag and laid on my bed, Rachel laid next to me and pulled me into a hug.

"First things first, I'm going to nail that window shut or move you rooms. Second, did you think of the trouble I'd be in if I walked up to your social worker and told her I'd lost you?" She asked

"Guess I didn't think of that..." I answered quietly

"I thought now you had Adam you could have your own kids?"

"I don't think I could handle a baby..." She admitted "However, I can handle a loving, bad tempered, silly, good hearted, VERY hard to keep track of teenager and I think from this second on this teenager needs to start being honest with me? Because I love her so much and I can't be there for her if she won't let me" She said

"You were so upset, I didn't want to off load all my problems onto you..."

Not once as I said all this did I look at her...I kept myself close to her looking away.

"Sweetheart I'm your mum that's what I'm here for and no matter how upset I am, I always have time for you" Rachel said softly and I could tell she meant it

"I'm just not use to having someone to talk to..." I admitted

"Well you had better get use to it because I'm not going anywhere...And I know sometimes you get bad feelings that make you want to hurt yourself, when you get those feelings I want you to remove yourself from the situation and come and talk to me no matter what I'm doing. Okay?"

I nodded softly and she held me tighter.

"Promise me one thing?" She asked

"Okay"

"No more running off..."

"Promise" I agreed