(Rachel's POV)

I woke up around 9am and got dressed in my jeans and my pink jumper. I brushed through my hair and walked downstairs, Poppy's room was empty as it usually was but her window was closed, I went inside and made sure her windows were locked before I took the keys back to my room and put them in my drawer.

I walked downstairs and looked around for Poppy, she wasn't in the living room or the kitchen...I went in to the pool to find that empty but the doors at the far end were wide open. I went outside to see Poppy sat in the middle of the grass just picking at the grass. I went over and put my hand on her shoulder.

"Are you going to come and have some breakfast?" I asked

"I'm not hungry" She replied

"Come on, I'll make whatever you want"

Poppy didn't say anything and continued to pick at the grass. I took her hands pulling her up and made her go inside. I couldn't help but notice she'd covered her wrist with some sort of sweatband, It was black and pink checked and she didn't put as much pressure on that wrist, it made it clear I hadn't imagined what I'd seen last night...She sat at the kitchen table not saying anything...

"What do you fancy then?" I asked

"I'm not hungry" She insisted

I sat down next to her.

"I know with everything that's been going on neither of us have been eating properly which is ridiculous considering your dad is a fully trained chef, but we're going to start..." I told her

She didn't say anything.

"What happened to us being completely honest about everything?" I asked

"I don't have anything to be honest about"

"Okay...Poppy I've seen your wrist. Do you want to tell me what happened?" I asked

"Yeah I trapped it in the door" She told me

My phone rang in the other room and it gave Poppy an excuse to make a run for it. I went and picked up the phone.

"Hi Lara just hold on a minute" I held the phone away from my ear a moment "Poppy! Come back!"

She clearly wasn't coming back down to talk. I went into the living room and put the phone back to my ear.

"Hi, sorry about that"

"No problem...Trouble with Poppy?" Lara asked

"No, its just yesterday I thought we were getting somewhere and now its like the barriers have slammed back down on me. She's not eating properly...And I saw bruising on her wrist, when I asked her about it she said she trapped it in a door. Could you maybe speak to her about it at your next session?" I asked

"That's the thing...Apparently you called my office this morning quite early and cancelled all Poppy's appointments..." Lara said

"I didn't get up until 9 and I haven't called anyone..." I stopped as realisation hit me "Ohhh no, she promised she'd start being honest with me..."

"Ask her again, straight. I'll set up a session for sometime tomorrow...Call me if you need me"

(Poppy's POV)

This was such a horrible feeling and I didn't know how to cope with it. I felt like I couldn't breathe or explain it and I felt like I was suffercating...I heard footsteps and Rachel calling me.

"Poppy!"

"Go away!" I yelled

I went over to the window and tried to get it open but it was locked. Crap! Rachel didn't knock she just came straight in. She seemed disappointed...

"Didn't think it'd take less than 24 hours for you to break that promise...Well try" Rachel said

"You don't get it!" I yelled "You don't get it..." I repeated myself quieter this time

"Then tell me...Help me understand? We're trying to help...Adam, Lara...Me but, you just push us away"

I didn't speak for a little while then I just looked at the floor. "Nevermind it doesn't matter..." I mumbled

"See? I think we're getting somewhere and then you just shut me out again. When are you going to learn that you can trust me? You need to let someone in" She told me

"Where the hell did that get me!?" I yelled "You want the truth! I spent 14 years of my life with a psychopath! 10 of them I raised myself, taking that shit day in, day out! Em was the only person I had the only person I trusted! Her death was my fault! I came here! I forced her to go to Waterloo road! I fought for her to live with us when she was happy with Kim! I let her out of my sight! I shouted at her about the stupid DNA test! And I let her die thinking she was my sister!"

"Blaming yourself is not going to bring Em back and its not healthy..." Rachel said

"So what? It should have been me laying mangled on that road...Not her..." My voice was calm but the rest of me was far from that