A loud sleepy sigh escaped the woman lying in bed in an apartment on Strawberry Street. She had woken some time ago from a rather frightful dream, more of a memory really. Weeks ago her own mortality was thrust into her face. If that fact alone wasn't enough to stir her, what her future self had told her was. In a future that was now nonexistent, she had woken up alone. Not alone because she was physically alone but alone because her beloved friends were dead. Death. It was something they faced regularly given their line of work, however they had never had to bear witness to it before.
Watching herself die was something that her mind wasn't prepared for by any means, add to that the fact that she had lost her right hand and it was the one two punch. The knockout blow came with the knowledge that not only most of her guild mates but Natsu and Happy were dead. Sighing once more Lucy visibly shook with the memory of it all.
For weeks now she was finding it hard to sleep and it was taking its toll on her. Sadly though the day time didn't offer any kind of solace. Over time she became used to the antics of her two most beloved partners, however lately something was off with them. At first it was odd to her with the amount of time they tried to spend with her. Given normally they spent a lot of time together but lately it seemed like they were attached to her hip. She didn't mind, because if she was honest with herself, she needed them with her right now. The knowledge she did lose them bearing weight on her to the point of panic.
It didn't help though that when she finally mustered the courage to ask what was wrong she got some lame excuse. Did Natsu not trust her enough to feel like he could tell her? Then again she was no better. When he would ask what was wrong with her lately she would shrug and just tell him she was tired. It was true but not the whole truth. It seemed like the only nights she was able to get some real sleep had been when they had damn near begged to spend the night.
Sure she would protest trying to save her dignity, but really she didn't mind. Having the pair with her only helped ease her mind that they were really there. However, if she told them that she was sure to be teased. Knowing Happy he would then tell someone at the guild and they would join in the teasing. She could take it better if she knew that Natsu might actually feel close to the same as her. But, she could almost bet on the fact that he either didn't understand or didn't look at her in any kind of light that was remotely romantic.
The happenings during that first week of July had only solidified her own feelings. Prior to that she could have still been in her own denial and just shrugged off her thoughts. Now though the memories of his actions during the games and then when she was caught and how he interacted with her future self, it all formed a huge bubble of emotions. She blushed 20 shades of red remembering his 'help' at her nakedness. Sighing heavily she buried herself in the covers of her bed once more. Knowing him he was actually trying to be helpful nothing more.
If she wasn't thinking about death then it was about her unrequited feelings. Natsu and Happy's clingy behavior wasn't helping matters at all. If she ever bothered to tell Natsu he would probably not understand. If he did by some chance the likelihood was that he in no way shared her feelings and it would cause them some great awkwardness. She wouldn't be able to bear it if they became like that. He would probably try to distance himself, that or she would feel the need to. So rather than risk their amazing friendship she will keep quiet. She would rather be happy with friendship than miserable and alone. Well she would never really be alone, she would have Fairy Tail, but it wouldn't be the same without her partners to laugh with.
Sighing heavily for the thousandth time that night she rolled over in an attempt to go back to sleep. Maybe this time she could find some rest and clear her mind a bit. Taking one last look at the darkened sky through her window, Lucy fell into a restless slumber.