Chapter 7 – The Object of affection and The Girl

Aisha went to bed when she arrived back at the Hanged man. She took her trousers and her shoes off and de-laced the front of her tunic so that it wasn't constricting so much. The mage shook her head slowly when realizing that that was how Isabela always wore hers. She crawled underneath her flee-bitten blanket, hoping that it wouldn't take too long for her to fall asleep. She turned to her side, pulled her legs up and hugged them to herself. It felt like little shards of her soul was missing, little silly things that nobody would notice but her. The parts that could regulate emotion, that could smile and laugh and not have everything hurt. Those parts were missing, they had probably been lost in the Fade and they were never coming back. Aisha didn't want to sleep; she didn't want to open herself up to the possibility of more nightmares. She didn't want to scream and to wake up and realize that she was alone. She was always alone. So Aisha stayed awake, humming to herself and silently praying a Rivain-prayer that Isabela would come home.

Isabela did come home, but several hours later, quietly opening the door and sneaking inside. She sat down on her bed and while looking at Aisha's seemingly sleeping figure took her boots of. She mindlessly scratched the red patches where the rough leather had created irritated skin while she kept watching Aisha. Isabela couldn't help but wonder what she had gotten herself into.

Zevran, an assassin had killed her husband, Aisha's father, with a single stab to the back of the head. It had been seemed so simple and Isabela had felt stupid for not having the guts to do it earlier herself. Isabela wanted to scold herself for how she had been towards Aisha afterwards, and how the future-pirate had acted those following days. She had been so caught up in being free that she lost complete focus. She had thanked Zevran profusely by dragging him into her bedroom and staying there for days, completely ignoring her friend who was now an orphan. After Zevran had left, Isabela had also left Luis' estate wanting to secure ownership of the Siren's call, but when Aisha had wanted to come along Isabela had refused saying it wasn't safe to bring her along when they didn't know what they were facing. Isabela had only been gone for about a week, leaving Aisha safely at home, but when the pirate returned Aisha was nowhere to be found.

As Isabela continued to stroke her slightly aching legs, Aisha was awake but pretending to be asleep and in similar thoughts. She thought about the killing of her father and how Isabela had… slept with that elf. How she hadn't wanted Aisha with her when going after the ship. Aisha didn't want to blame Isabela for leaving her, her intentions had been good and none of them could have known that Luis had sold Aisha just before his death.

Aisha opened her eyes wanting to look at Isabela, and hoping that she wouldn't notice that the mage was awake. Isabela was on the bed, her bare legs spread out, the bandana and necklace were for once also off and she was simply lying down on the bed. One arm was resting on the pillow above her head and the other was draped across her stomach. She wasn't asleep yet, her breathing wasn't deep or slow enough but she was close. She suddenly sat up and started tinkering with her tunic; Aisha quickly closed her eyes and resumed her pretending to be asleep. There was some movement and the sound of fabric being tossed on the floor and then a soft thud as Isabela lay back on the bed once more. When her breathing was calming and slowing, Aisha dared once again to open her eyes. The sight that met her eyes almost made her cough out loud. Isabela had apparently found the night too warm and had removed her clothes completely leaving her equally curvaceous and muscular body visual for anyone who wanted to see. And Aisha wanted to see. She couldn't stop looking, her eyes roaming over the form of the sleeping pirate and feeling her heart beat speed up when reaching to her bosom and then travelling further and reaching the juncture of the pirate's legs. Aisha felt an unfamiliar trembling starting deep inside her and she pondered how long it had been since she had felt like that. Then it occurred to her that she didn't even know how many years it had been. How many years had it been since that summer that Isabela had shown the mage how touches and kisses could mean so much? What pleasure could feel like? How long had it been since Isabela had unknowingly ruined Aisha for anyone else? Had made Aisha hers without wanting or meaning to?

Aisha didn't know what she wanted; she just knew that she had to do something. She was still on an emotional rollercoaster, never aware of where her emotions would take her next. And now she had arrived here, at arousal, wanting, yearning, needing. Trembling fingers reached the hem of her tunic and pulled it off her body in one swift movement, she quickly took of her small-clothes as well and then stood up. She usually didn't enjoy the feeling of vulnerability that came with being naked but right then it felt perfect and just right.

Her legs were shaking but carried her on quick steps. One, two three. Three steps was all it took and then she was there, hovering over Isabela's sleeping form. This was when Aisha's bravery faded. What was she doing? She couldn't just take all her clothes of and crawl naked into Isabela's bed! Aisha would have turned back to her own bed if it hadn't been for the pounding in her abdomen that just wouldn't stop.

She sat down softly on the bed, relieved that it didn't wake the pirate up. Then she slowly laid her body down, next to the pirate but with her back to her. Without daring to breathe she took Isabela's arm, the one that had been resting on her stomach and draped it across herself. Isabela moaned softly in her sleep but didn't wake up and let herself be pulled to the side until she was spooning the former tranquil. Isabela muttered something else and then suddenly pressed herself against mage, forcing her on her stomach and draping one long leg over Aisha's waist and pulling her close; one of the pirate's hands settling over Aisha's breast in the process. Then the pirate sighed as if pleased with the position and resumed her deep sleep.

Aisha didn't know what to do. She was trapped under Isabela who was almost lying on top of her and there was no way of getting free without waking the sleeping pirate up. Aisha didn't know what she had been planning but getting stuck in this position hadn't been it. Isabela smelled of the sea and tar but also faintly of an unfamiliar perfume which, it eventually occurred to Aisha, must be the perfume oh whoever had invited Isabela into their bed earlier the same evening. After a few moments of fervent thinking the girl decided to remain where she was rather than waking Isabela up. She was at least comfortable where she was, and there, with Isabela on top of her and with an arm and leg holding her possessively close Aisha almost felt safe.

…

It was early in the morning when Hawke decided to go for a walk. She cherished the early hours when no one else was up yet, and the air was somehow cleaner. She softly kissed the cheek of the elf that was sleeping next to her and then put on her clothes and left.

Outside the air was just as fresh as the champion had hoped and she took deep, greedy breaths in the clean cool air. She walked with brisk steps toward the exit of the city, wanting to take a walk in the mountains before breakfast. She needed the reprieve from the busy life in Kirkwall and the stress of constant battle.

…

When Isabela started waking up the first thing she did was notice how warm and sweaty everything was. Then the pirate had to smile as she felt the flush, female body next to her. It wasn't often she fell asleep after getting what she wanted but it wasn't unheard of either. She wondered silently who was next to her but decided it didn't matter. Instead she started lazily moving her hand up and down the girl's side, stroking a naked leg and relishing in the satisfied hum that escaped from the girl in her arms. Without opening her eyes, she moved away from the girl just enough to be able to press her on her back and then carefully pushed her legs open with her hand before laying herself in between them, smiling with glee when she noticed how wet her companion was. The pirate slowly lowered her face as well, searching for the girl's lips…

"Naishe," a whimpering moan escaped from the throat of Isabela's unfamiliar bed partner and at once the pirate's eyes flashed open. In less than a second she was aware of where she was and who was lying underneath her, Aisha, with lips slightly parted and needy, docile eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Isabela hissed and immediately got off the girl, pulling her blanket which was on the floor to cover up her body, a movement which was not like her at all, "go back to your own bed!"

Aisha, now also fully awake, stumbled up and ran to her own bed, also taking her own blanket and covering her naked shame. She couldn't believe that touching her had been so repulsive to Isabela that she had almost yelled at her.

"I'm s…sorry," she stuttered, "I… don't know what came over me."

Isabela swallowed once then sat down on her bed and reached for her clothes, started dressing.

"It is fine," she said, trying to sound light, "just… don't do it again. It would feel wrong, like diddling a sister."

Aisha swallowed back tears and instead of replying started putting on her clothes as well. She felt rejected and had had one of her worst fears realized – Isabela did think of her as a little sister. No wonder she could have so casually thrown her aside all those years ago when all Zevran had to do was wink in Isabela's direction.

Aisha had no idea what was actually going on inside the pirate. Isabela had to be really focused to not let the slight shaking of her hands show, she didn't want to show Aisha the effect she had had on her. She did not think of Aisha as a sister and diddling her would not have felt wrong. But Isabela couldn't do it. She could have casual sex with nearly everyone left and right, anyone who came in her way and who was good looking and fun. The problem was Aisha, cute, warm little Aisha, whom would most likely receive Isabela with open arms; Isabela felt nothing but carefully guarded affection for her. But love… love was not for everyone, and especially not for her. She would gladly protect and care for Aisha for as long as she was able, but only as a sister. She couldn't cross that line with her, the thought terrified her. No, Isabela couldn't have casual sex with Aisha, and the pirate had nothing else to offer.