He had to get away.

That was his only thought as he raced from the room, from his mother's confusion and Emily's grief and Ian's prying stare. He couldn't do it, couldn't be strong anymore.

So, he ran.

He ran until he couldn't run anymore. Until he'd left everything behind him and he wasn't sure he was ever coming back.

"You can't escape it," a voice said matter-of-factly from behind him.

Derek shut his eyes tightly as if he could wish himself away from the conversation.

"The only way out is death," Ian continued, appearing in front of him as if he'd always been there.

"I'm not in the mood, Doyle," Derek said, turning to face him, cocking his fist, ready to fight him if he had to.

Ian held his hands up in surrender, but he was still smirking.

Derek's hurried departure found them in the nursery – a place he had been only once before, on the worst day of his life. Derek smiled down at the infants, but it was bittersweet. He reached out a hand to clasp one of the baby's reaching fingers. "They can see us, can't they?"

"They can," Ian confirmed. "Because they were so recently spirits themselves. They'll forget how, though, with time." There was a long silence between them, full of soft coos and tiny cries. "She and I were expecting once," he said, interrupting the silence.

"What?" Derek said sharply, looking up at him incredulously.

"The day I was arrested at my compound, she was pregnant. She didn't know I knew, but I did."

Derek felt his heart plummet and he wasn't entirely sure why, whether it was because she'd been pregnant with his child or because she hadn't told him. "You're lying!" he accused.

Ian shook his head. "I've nothing to gain from telling you lies. I don't know what happened to the child, whether she kept it...all I know is that she wanted a baby and I gave her one."

"She would never have brought your child into the world," he snapped.

"She offered to get me out, did you know that?" he said, almost apropos of nothing. "If I'd agreed, I think she would have stayed with me, raised my children. You'd never have known her, never had the chance to fall in love with her...you're lucky I was an incredibly foolish man."

"You're lying!" Derek said again, louder than before, more emphatic.

"Much as you're loathe to admit it, she loved me. I wasn't a good man, but she saw past all that to the good inside. She wanted to be with me, to be a family, to bear my children. But I was too prideful, too stubborn to give her that. If I could do it all over again, I would never let her go."

"Then why did you?"

"What?"

"Why did you let her go? If you loved her as much as you claim to, why didn't you accept her offer? If she loved you as much as you say, you should have said yes and never looked back." He was shouting now, but he couldn't help it. She meant everything to him and he spoke about her like he'd never meant anything to her.

"Death gives you a lot of perspective," Ian said, almost sadly. "If I'd known then what I do now, I would have held tightly to her."

Derek scoffed. "It doesn't take death to know she's the best damn thing to ever happen to a guy like you or even me..."

"Then why did you let her go?" he replied smartly.

"That's different... If it had been up to me, she never would have left, but it wasn't. She was hurting after Rosie's death and she never quite recovered. I can't say I blame her – she lost the most important person in her life. She said she needed time apart to heal and that time slowly grew into a chasm neither of us could cross. I guess I couldn't give her what she needed."

"I'll tell you one thing," Ian said firmly, "If you wake up, don't let go of her again."

Emily wished she were anywhere else, was anyone else.

The silence that passed between her and Fran seemed to echo through eternity until she wanted to scream just for something to break it.

"I have a grandchild?" Fran asked, sinking into the chair beside the bed with a cutting hope in her eyes.

"Had..." Emily whispered, looking anywhere but at her.

"Had..." Fran repeated, slowly digesting that one word. "Oh, Emily."

"Don't..." Emily said, choking on the word. "Please."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Emily shook her head, blinking too often. She couldn't do it, couldn't have this conversation.

"Derek never mentioned you were expecting," she continued on regardless.

"No one knew. And afterwards, well, it was just easier to keep it that way. Less painful to not have to constantly be reminded."

"I would have been happy for you, been there for you," she said, almost hurt.

This was why she hadn't wanted to tell anyone. "It's not about that, about you – it was about us, our baby...our grief. If everyone knew, it was real. We didn't want to constantly be reminded of that pain. So, we kept it to ourselves."

"That's why you left?"

"It was part of it. I didn't ever really recover from it and I didn't want to drag him down with me. He could move on better without me."

"Oh, honey, Derek never got over you." Then, she paused, a thoughtful look crossing her face. "Is that why he gave you power of attorney? Because of the baby?"

Emily nodded. "He wanted to be there for me, for his child." She saw her opening then. "He shouldn't be DNR...he wouldn't want that."

Fran nodded slowly, thoughtfully.

"You'll do whatever it takes to save him?" she pressed. "Right now?"

She nodded again. "Take good care of him," she said from the doorway as she left.

Emily looked down at him, stroking his face softly. "I will."