Sorry it took me a little longer to finish proof reading this chapter. Not gonna lie, I did spend quite a lot of time watching and re-watching and re-re-re-re-watching THAT scene from Friday's episode 3
Anyway I finally managed to do it, hope you'll like it ;) The last chapter should be up some time later this week :)

When Fitz finally woke up, opening his eyes with what felt like an inhuman effort, it seemed like he had slept much longer than the twenty minutes -thirty minutes tops- nap he had planned. Extending his arm to reach for his phone on the bedside table, he had the confirmation that it was actually past noon and he probably had time to complete two full sleep cycles.

Also, he finally understood what had managed to wake him up from such a deep slumber. He had three missed calls in the last five minutes. All from Jemma. And that information was more efficient than anything else to make him feel completely awake. Bolting up and then immediately resting his head back against the headboard when he felt a little dizzy from sitting up too fast -god he really needed more exercise if one night of sex tired him so much-, he swiped left on his phone to see if he had any other messages. But he didn't and apparently Jemma didn't leave a voicemail either so he decided to call her back. His guts were twisting at the uneasy feeling that if she insisted so much on calling him, it had to be something important. It couldn't simply be to tell him once again how much she loved him or thank him for the great night (which honestly would have been weird anyway).

"Oh hey Fitz! Is everything alright?" She asked the moment she picked up, sounding strangely relieved to have him call her.

"Yeah yeah of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Oh nothing it's just you weren't picking up and I don't know I …" She trailed off.

"Ah no I just I fell asleep after you left, didn't realize it was so late but hum … are you alright?" He asked, sensing in her voice that something was troubling her.

"Yeah … well I don't know I guess … Trip just left."

"Oh …"

"I just broke up with him …" She trailed off once more and she sounded sad. Could it be that …

"Jemma … are you regretting it?" He asked, his voice barely loud enough for her to hear because that was an answer he wasn't sure he'd ever be ready to hear.

"WHAT? NO! Fitz no, why would you … I told you I want to be with you and a few hours won't change that, it's just … Trip is a really good guy and breaking up with someone is never a nice feeling …"

"Oh yes of course I'm sorry I shouldn't have …"

"No I mean I get it …" She cut him off, her voice small and bitter. "I cheated on my boyfriend to be with you, why would you trust me? I'm obviously not a trustworthy person …"

"No Jemma please, that's not what I meant. I know it's not something you would usually do. I trust you I do ... it's just me, I guess I still can't believe this is real .. that I get to have a chance with someone like you …" He said almost pleadingly. God, it's barely been a few hours and he was already messing this up with his pessimism.

"Jemma?" He insisted after a long moment of silence.

"Yes … well I guess I'm going to have to make you believe …" She finally answered and Fitz relaxed a bit, a small smile tucking at his lips.

"Alright … I love you, you know …"

"I know you idiot!" She replied with an exasperated tone that was also filled with fondness and he chuckled happily.

"But Fitz that's not why I called, Trip will probably be home soon so listen to me!"

"Oh did something happen?" Fitz asked, getting worried once more.

"No not really it's just … I texted him earlier to ask if I could see him tonight, didn't want to drag this out, and he must have mistaken my insistance for … something else because he came to my flat to surprise me just after work and he was all flirty and affectionate and I was unprepared so I just blurted it out! Felt wrong to let him even just give me a peck on the lips after the night we spent together, I've hurt him by acting the way I did, I don't want to hurt you the same way …"

"Oh Jemma I know … I know you always want to do the right thing …" He replied, feeling his heart flutter in happiness despite their complicated situation. She really did love him. "So hum … how did he-how did he take it?"

"Not as bad as I thought I suppose … He wasn't exactly surprised, said he'd felt I was drifting away these past few weeks. Then he asked me why and I said I was in love with someone else … I just couldn't lie to him Fitz …" She said. Her voice sounded so small and distraught he wished he could be there to take her in his arms and comfort her.

"Oh and did you tell him who …"

"No!" She cut him off. "Didn't have the time to. He just nodded like I was simply giving him confirmation of what he was thinking anyway, gave me some kind of strange smile and just left. I was so stunned I didn't have the time to tell him it wasn't his fault and he didn't do anything wrong. And I didn't say anything about you too but I … he just had this knowing look and I'm not good at hiding my feelings and he's usually pretty perceptive so ... I think he might have understood on his own Fitz"

"Oh …"

"So that's why I called you. He's probably on his way home now so you might want to … I don't know I thought you might want a heads up or …" She sounded so stressed out and Fitz found it really sweet because she'd already done her hard part and wouldn't have to deal with Trip for some time so she was obviously stressing out for him, because she knew how important his friendship with Trip was.

"Yes yeah of course, thank you for calling me. I'll talk to him when he gets home, you're right I don't want to drag this out either."

"And are you going to tell him about …"

"...about what happened last night?"

"Yeah …"

"I don't know … If I don't tell him I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life, having lied to my friend, but if I do, it'll probably make him sad so … what? What's the best option?"

"It's hard to say. I always think you should stick to the truth but also try my best to never hurt anyone but in this case it feels like there are incompatible … Do you … do you want me to come, there's no reason for you to do this alone, it's something we both decided to do and …"

"No Jemma …" He cut her off. "Thank you really but I've known him for years, he should hear it from me first … I think ..."

"Okay … so what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I guess I'll decide when I see him."

In the end, the decision was made for him.

-0-0-0-

Fitz barely had the time to get up, take a quick shower and change clothes before he heard the front door open from where he was in his room, making his bed. With everything that happened with Jemma, it's only then that he remembered that Trip was probably a bit mad at him since he left the bar the previous night and he wondered worryingly what would be his attitude towards him. Well, obviously hiding in his room indefinitely wasn't a viable solution so he supposed he might as well get it over with sooner rather than later. So taking a few deep breaths to calm the thumping of his heart, he opened the door and walked into the living room.

Trip was just closing the door to the fridge, a bottle of water in his hand, when Fitz walked in. The tall man seemed to freeze for a moment when he heard his roommate walk into the room and that could have almost been enough to let Fitz know everything he needed to know. When he turned around, his expression wasn't hostile or even a little bit angry but it was far from its usual natural cheeriness. Not that it had to mean anything for him particularly, the man had just been dumped and he was coming home from a long night shift, he didn't have many reasons to be in a good mood.

"Hey" He simply said.

"Hey" Fitz answered cautiously.

"Feeling better than last night?" Trip asked, a strange kind of smirk at the corner of his lips.

"Hu … yeah yeah I'm alright … You?" He could have said that Daisy made him drink enough water to sober him up or that he's had enough sleep to feel better but he didn't really feel like going into details about what happened the previous night so he settled for a vague answer and a nod.

"Yeah yeah me too … well no I'm not great actually … Jemma just broke up with me …" He trailed off.

"Oh … oh …" Apparently having been warned by Jemma didn't help him know what to say without having to lie. The fact that he was starting to feel himself blush didn't help either so he settled for: "I'm really sorry Trip" which was sincere in a way because he was immensely happy to know that Jemma wasn't Trip's girlfriend anymore and now potentially his even though it may feel a little too soon to use this word, but he was truly sorry that it meant his friend would suffer for it.

And that's why he was more than surprised when he was cut off by Trip almost chocking on the water he was drinking as he burst out laughing. He'd imagined Trip reacting many different ways to everything he'd tell him today but an irresistible fit of laughter wasn't one of them.

"Damn man … you really are the worst liar I've ever met!" He finally let out once his laughter subsided. "I can't believe I didn't see it before …"

"What … what are-what do you mean? I'm not …" Fitz stuttered, chastising himself internally for looking so guilty with his stutter and the blush attacking his face.

"Fitz please … Jemma said there was someone else and for like a second I wondered who that could be because it's not like she sees a lot of people with all the time she spends working, and then it hit me … there is one person she's been spending even more time than with me these past few weeks Fitz ..." He finished with a pointed look towards his friend. Trip was always such an easy going, cheery person that you got used to seeing him smile and laugh and tell jokes all the time. Which made the rare few moments where he was dead serious, like at this precise moment, even scarier.

"Oh …" was all Fitz could say for a moment, his mouth opening and closing and then opening again several times.

"Well …" Trip let out after what felt like hours but was probably only a minute or even less. "Did you know?"

"Yes … she-she told me" Fitz replied, feeling strangely grateful that Trip was leading the conversation or he could have easily blurted things out in the worst possible way.

"And do you-are you …"

"Yeah … I'm-I'm in love with her, probably been since the day I met her actually, I tried not to I swear but I-I couldn't help it …"

"Wow …"

Obviously, Trip had been expecting him to somehow return Jemma's feelings but did not expect things to get so intense, especially considering it usually took a lot of goading for Fitz to admit he even just liked a girl. Putting his bottle back into the fridge, Trip walked towards the living room and pretty much let himself fall into the couch. Fitz almost reminded him to mind his posture but he supposed now really wasn't the time to tease his friend.

Fitz wondered if he should leave him alone to process those informations or follow him and finish telling him everything even though he still hadn't decided if telling him everything that happened was still the best course of action and the nicest thing to do. So he took a few steps into the living room as well but rested a little awkwardly against the wall facing the couch. Fitz usually didn't mind the silence, he'd gotten used to it when he was a kid and didn't have many friends, but in that situation, it was nerve-wrecking and he could feel his old ticks coming back, his fingers restlessly taping against his thigh. He was about to ask Trip if he wanted anything, a coffee, breakfast, him to leave and never come back, when he finally spoke again.

"I guess it shouldn't surprise me as much … someone as smart as she is, it's intellectual stimulation she needs, I couldn't give her that …" He started and some awfully petty voice inside Fitz's head wanted to scream that she seemed to appreciate the physical stimulation just as much and he hated it, especially since he knew Trip didn't mean it in a way that was meant to say she couldn't also be attracted to him physically. But he supposed that was what years of envying one's roommate's ability to speak to women did to you.

"And when you two get to talking about science or pretty much anything, it's like you're in your own little world … I should have known …" Trip added with a small amused chuckle and Fitz felt his chest tighten.

Was it really so easy? He wasn't even going to be a little bit angry?

"So you're not-you're not … mad at me? at us?" Fitz finally asked, trying to keep the shaking out of his voice but not succeeding completely.

"Mad? For what? Falling in love? It's not like you could control it and I get it I guess, Jemma's amazing! Obviously I'm not exactly psyched about it but I'll get over it and you talked to me about it first, that was the only thing I could ask of you really …"

It was in these kinds of situations that Fitz wished he had a better poker face. Not that he would have wanted to lie to his friend. Trip was obviously a prince and he thought too highly of his friend for Fitz not to tell him everything after all. But he just wished he'd been able to not blush and almost choke on his own saliva so that he could tell Trip about what happened in his own terms, hoping he could at least soften the blow a bit.

"Fitz?" Trip asked, immediately catching up on his friend's weird attitude and straightening up on the couch. "You did talk to me about it FIRST, right?"

Once again, he seemed stuck on a fish-out-of-water expression and it didn't help to see how Trip's eyes were narrowing and his whole posture was getting more tense by the second.

"Fitz?" He insisted after a few seconds, his voice significantly louder.

"I-I … we-we wanted to, Jemma she wanted to break up with you last night before-before you left but …" Fitz trailed off. How could you possibly find a good way of telling your best friend you slept with his girlfriend but really didn't mean to. Even to himself, it sounded ridiculous.

"Fitz, are you going to tell me WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED last night or are you really going to let me guess?"

Fitz didn't know Trip to have ever used his superior physical strength against someone else but from the way his friend was now looking at him, it felt like a real possibility and it made his heart race to know he'd managed to anger the coolest person on Earth that bad.

"We talked and I-I told her I loved her and before I knew what was happening, she kissed me and …"

"Oh so it's her fault I guess …" Trip cut him off sarcastically.

"NO! No … I kissed her back of course … and I could have pushed her away and I think I tried to but I … I couldn't and then …"

"… and then you had sex?"

"Yeah …"

Fitz wasn't even sure he actually said the word, he might have just mouthed it but from the way Trip fell back into the couch, an unreadable expression on his face before he looked away, shaking his head, the message went through anyway.

"Trip … I'm so sorry …" Fitz finally said after a long moment of silence, trying to push back the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. He didn't even know why he was crying. Out of shame? Guilt? Sadness at the idea that he might have just lost his friend? "I wanted to tell you, tell her so many times, I almost did several times but I wasn't brave enough and if she was willing to meet your friends, I thought she was serious about you and couldn't reciprocate my-my feelings so what was the point? But then … she surprised me and I know it's not a valid excuse, not by a hundred miles, but …"

"She didn't want to come …" Trip cut him off.

"What?"

Out of all the things Trip could have reacted to, Fitz didn't think he would react to this one first.

"She didn't want to come … kept giving me excuses not to come, took me three weeks to finally find a night where she'd be free, I thought it was just work keeping her busy but I get it now …" He trailed off. Fitz wasn't quite sure what to say to that. At least, things made more sense that way, but he was still waiting for the hammer to fall, for Trip to scream at him or punch him in the face. Which would have kind of reassured him because this apparent calm was more terrifying than anything. He could believe that Trip would have accepted their love had they done things the right way but even him wasn't forgiving enough to not get mad when learning his best friend had sex with his girlfriend.

"Well I have to say, I didn't think you could still surprise me after living together for five years but you just proved me wrong, didn't you?" Trip said before letting out a small humorless chuckle as he finally stood up. Fitz took an instinctive step back and only found himself hitting the wall.

"Trip …" He tried to cut him off but it looked like his friend had finally decided to talk and wasn't going to let anyone interrupt him.

"Thought you were this genuinely good guy who placed friendship above everything else but maybe Ward did rub off on you after all …"

Trip knew this was a sore point and he had to know comparing him to Ward would hurt and even though he probably deserved whatever Trip would throw at him, it made Fitz's eyes flash out in anger despite himself. He'd met Grant Ward when the man came to work at SciTech just a few months after he'd started himself. He'd befriended him and Daisy, who Fitz barely knew at the time. Ward's relationship with Daisy had soon turned into something else and the three of them became inseparable for a few months despite apparently not having much in common. And then one morning, they came to work and learned that Ward had been fired. He'd been spying on them for another company and feeding them every design Fitz had ever showed him using Daisy's secure email address. When they both went to his apartment during their lunch break, he was already packing and working on his next corporate spy assignment. And all he had to offer as a way of an excuse was that it was nothing personal and he did have a good time with both of them.

They'd both been heartbroken in a different way and they stood for each other at the hearing that would decide if they were in any way responsible for what Ward did and that was what brought them closer together. In the end, they both kept their job and moved on and Fitz tried to focus on the fact that he'd gained a very good friend in Daisy, but it would always remain a very bitter memory. And he knew he'd probably betrayed his friend as well but he couldn't accept being compared to a man like Ward.

"Trip no … you know it's not like that, it's not like I planned it or wanted it to happen like that I-I just lost control …"

"Or maybe you just took Daisy's word too seriously after all …" He continued, ignoring Fitz's words. "but when she said you should get back at me by making a woman scream louder than me during sex, I'm pretty sure she meant that you should find YOUR OWN FUCKING GIRLFRIEND for that!" He literally screamed at Fitz's face, making the young man stop in his tracks for a moment, half expecting to be punched in the face. But instead, he just shook his head in disgust, which was probably worse, and turned around towards the door.

"No Trip wait … we have to talk about this …" Fitz cried out, hating himself for how shaky his voice sounded as he ran after his friend and placed himself between him and the door.

"Fitz, let me through …" He said in a dangerously low voice.

"No please, let me explain, it wasn't like this …"

"Fitz move away, I don't want to talk to you or see your face right now …"

"I know I understand but …"

He didn't have the time to finish his sentence before Trip shoved him to the side with a lot more strength than was probably necessary and he ended up hitting the opposite wall. Before he could even react, Trip had walked through the door and slammed it back with a resounding noise. He considered running after him but he guessed that if there was anything Trip would like even less than talk to him right, it was probably causing a scene in front of all their neighbors.

So he just walked back to the couch, rubbing his shoulder where Trip had pushed him, not because it really hurt -honestly Daisy could have probably pushed him harder than that with the correct motivation- but just because he pushed him. The gesture was agressive and it meant a lot for someone like Trip. But even worse than the gesture, it was the look in his friend's eyes that made the tears that had been pooling in his eyes finally fall freely down his cheeks. It wasn't this disapproving look he had sometimes when he did something unhealthy or stupid, it wasn't annoyance or even anger, it was just plain disgust and it felt a lot like he'd probably just lost his friend.

The worse was probably that now he knew for a fact that if he'd been brave enough to talk to Jemma a few days ago, calmly, without waiting for things to get so intense, or strong enough to stop after one kiss -one single kiss in the heat of the moment would have probably been excusable-, then his friend would have accepted it. Things might have been a little awkward for a time but in the end they would have been fine.

But Trip had been his best friend for years, always taking care of him even when he didn't want him to and he couldn't lose him without fighting for him. So right now, he knew what he had to do.

-0-0-0-

Four hours had passed when Fitz finally heard the front door open. He was starting to wonder if he should call Daisy or any one of their friends to check up on him but then he would have to say what happened and he wasn't ready to go through that and hear more people being utterly disappointed in him, not right now when he already felt like he lost everything.

Just as he expected Trip to go directly to his room or remain in the living room and leave Fitz alone in his bedroom, the tall man knocked on the door and came in a second later without waiting for Fitz's answer.

Letting his eyes travel around the room for a few seconds, his eyes came back to where Fitz lay sitting on the ground at the foot of his bed.

"What the hell man, are you fifteen?" He asked after a moment of silence and what Fitz thought was the beginning of a grin tucking at his lips.

"Oh so because I'm a grown man, I'm not allowed to cry?" Fitz retorted, angrily wiping the few tears still clinging to his lashes.

"No because it looks like you're drowning your sorrow in Mtn Dew man!" He said, nodding towards the several empty cans littering the flour.

Truth be told, he'd wanted to drown his sorrow in something more manly and alcoholic like whisky or at least beer but they'd run out and he didn't have to courage to go out to get some so he'd settled for slowly giving himself diabetes or maybe a sugar rush if he couldn't get drunk. But for now, all he'd felt was that his stomach was full to bursting with bubbles and that he needed to pee every twenty minutes. So maybe he should just stick a big cushion under his shirt and fully experience what it was like to be pregnant. At least he'd get something instructive out of this awful afternoon.

"We were out of alcohol after the last party …" He simply answered, reaching for his latest can and finishing it in a few gulps before throwing it on the pile of empty ones. "And if I was fifteen, I would probably have beer because I grew up in Scotland and my mom was never at home …" He added because apparently he couldn't stop himself from correcting people even when he felt like shit.

"Okayyy … but what about the music though? Green Day sounds awfully cheery considering that you actually look like a character from a rom com right now …"

"Well I tried Adele and Sarah McLachlan but I just fell asleep and I don't think that's how you're supposed to react … And I was listening to Wake me up when September ends which is kinda sad but not too boring but then the rest of the album started playing …" He answered, feeling extremely annoyed that on top of everything his friend questioned the way he chose to treat his broken heart.

"Hey wait … what sorrow are you trying to drown anyway, you got the girl, I'm the one who's supposed to be heartbroken …" Trip said, pushing the clothes piled up on his desk chair and sitting on it. Apparently, he wasn't going to let him be sad on his own.

"No I didn't …"

"No you didn't what?"

"Get the girl …" Fitz said, looking up at his friend whose eyes had gone as wide as saucers.

"What? What do you …"

"I called her, told her I couldn't be with her if it meant losing my best friend …"

Again, of all the ways he thought his friend could react to this, hysterical laughter definitely wasn't one of them.

"Oh fucking hell man … you're so dumb …" He finally managed to say once the laughter died down.

"Well I'm glad to see my misery is a source of amusement to you …"

Well at least, he didn't seem so angry or disgusted anymore so maybe, sacrificing his chance with the woman who was the potential love of his life had worked. Which should have comforted him a bit but he felt too horrible and empty inside for that.

"Urgh come on …" Trip sighed, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Think about it for a minute … do you really think that the promise of not seing Jemma ever again will erase the fact that you had sex with her while she was still my girlfriend? In our apartment? While I was at work?"

"No of course I …"

"So what? You thought I'd forgive you out of pity?"

"I don't know …" Fitz cried out. It was all so messed up in his head, he wasn't used to it.

"So let me get this straight …" Trip started, speaking loud and slow like he was dealing with the village idiot. "You broke up with Jemma without the beginning of a proof that it would make me forgive you and you were potentially going to end up without either a best friend or the woman who was important enough to make you lose your best friend in the first place."

That sounded a lot like what Jemma said but for some reason he didn't see the sense in it. Until now. That's why you should never act on a rash decision without at least giving yourself a few hours to decide if it's really such a good idea. And now that Trip was saying the same thing and with the minutes passing, it felt more and more like he was,in fact, the village idiot.

"Oh fuck …" He finally let out. "fuck fuck fuck …" His voice was barely more than a whisper and he took his head in his hands, wishing the ground would open up under him and swallow him, putting an end to his own self-inflicted idiotic misery.

After a good minute of silence where Fitz started to wonder if Trip actually only came to see him to point out how stupid he was, he heard him let out a loud sigh and clearing his throat before saying:

"Well then go get her back before it's too late …"

Fitz's face shot up so fast at his words that Trip couldn't help chuckling over it.

"But what about you and …"

"I'll get over it … I liked her a lot but I didn't love her and she didn't either and that was never going to happen …" He said before sighing again and keep talking. "And if I'm being completely honest, I told myself several times that she had so much more in common with you than with me …"

"Oh …" Only someone like Trip could be so cool-headed in such a situation. "But what about … us …" He added, gesturing between the two of them with his finger.

"I'm sorry man … but you're really not my type …" He replied with a mock-sad tone before bursting out laughing.

"Ah ah hilarious Trip, really funny …"

"Oh come on I think I'm entitled to having a little bit of fun at your expense!" He said, playfully throwing one of Fitz's t-shirts at his face.

He was definitely acting quite differently from a few hours ago. There didn't seem to be any of that disgust or cold anger in his eyes anymore. Seeing them now, most people couldn't even have said that they'd been fighting just a few hours ago and even less than their friendship might have been in jeopardy. So could this mean that …

"But more seriously I forgive you, well no … right now I'm still pissed at you but I will, eventually, because deep down I know you're not a bad person, that you messed up but tried to do the right thing. I realized that you acting like a dick last night was actually to distance yourself from Jemma …" He said, chuckling with actual amusement. "Anyway I will forgive you sooner or later and if at this point I realize that you lost Jemma because of me and that you're miserable because of it, I will feel guilty … and I hate feeling guilty!"

Fitz felt a small smile tuck at his lips for the first time since Trip came into the room.

"Really?" Fitz asked in a small voice.

"Yeah …" Trip sighed. "I think you'll do a good enough job of punishing yourself anyway ... Now go get her before I change my mind …" He added and that was all Fitz needed.

Shooting up from the ground, he grabbed his wallet on the bedside table and was already halfway through the door with his jacket half on when Trip stopped him.

"I can't believe I actually have to intervene in this but you might want to take a look in the mirror before you go …" Trip said, rolling his eyes.

Looking at him in confusion, Fitz turned around and understood what Trip meant. The white shirt he'd put on after his shower was now stained in several places with Mtn Dew, his hair stuck up from all sides and his eyes were all puffy and red.

"Oh …" He let out before running back to his room, quickly taking off his shirt and putting on the first one he found in his dressing. If he had more time, he would have tried to see if one of his few suits was clean but Jemma didn't really seem to mind about these stuffs and she actually said once that she liked his t-shirts and cardigans. Then running to the bathroom, he tried his best to tame his curls with water and thought he looked almost presentable except for his ridiculously puffy eyes.

Maybe Trip would know what to do for that? Would it be pushing his luck to ask him about it?

"Hu Trip, do you know what I …" He started but was stopped short when he almost fell against his friend's chest. Somehow he'd managed to silently follow him to the bathroom and was patiently waiting for him with a slightly amused smile.

"Here, put this on your eyes for five minutes, it should help." He said, handing him two small ice packs.

"Thanks man …" He replied and as he blindly walked back towards the living room to sit on the couch, hitting the table and then two chairs on his way, he realized that maybe it would have been smarter to first sit and then put the ice packs on his eyes.

"And when I say thank you, I mean not only for this but for … everything, you're such a good person and … and really a much better friend than I deserve …" Fitz said, his voice a little shaky as it betrayed his emotions and hoping that Trip was actually still close enough to hear what he just said.

"Yeah well … don't go all emotional on me or we'll be here all night drama queen …" Trip replied and Fitz couldn't help laughing. "But since we're doing heart to heart things I wanna say that I'm sorry about comparing you to Ward, that was mean and I didn't mean it …" He added and Fitz shrugged.

"I guess I probably deserved it …"

"No you didn't … you're not like him … it's just … Jemma turned you into an idiot I think …" Trip said and Fitz could almost hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah … yeah she did …" Fitz replied with what must have looked like a pretty dopey smile because Trip chuckled.

"You really love her do you?" Trip asked and maybe it was just because he couldn't see his face but Fitz felt like there was no bitterness in his voice, just some sort of curiosity, and he could do with that. With time, maybe he'd even be able to talk to him about Jemma and he'd have that trademark fond smile he had when he was happy for his friends.

"Yes she's … perfect and everything I've ever wanted …"

"It's really all or nothing with you isn't it?" Trip said with a chuckle. "You've dated maybe three or four women since I met you and you've never been more enthusiastic about it than a man going to a wedding with his cousin and now I'm afraid you're going to propose to her next time you see Jemma …"

"Well now that you mention it …." Fitz replied with a teasing tone but if he was completely honest, he was now picturing her in a beautiful white dress and he kind of liked it. "God I can't believe I fucked this all up …" He added a moment later when he couldn't help replaying their phone call in his mind and feeling his throat contract at he vividly remembered the way she had cried.

"Well fix it then …"

"Yeah … yeah I'll fix it!"

-0-0-0-

It took Fitz five more minutes to look presentable and only twenty five minutes to get to Jemma's building. But it took him more than fifteen to go from the lobby to the third floor where her apartment was. He changed his mind at least five times concerning what he was going to start with to make sure she would at least let him talk and not shut the door immediately at the sight of him. Then once he'd finally decided, he was so nervous that his heart started beating worryingly fast and for a moment he thought he was going to be sick.

But then he reasoned himself. It's already been several hours and the more he waited to talk to her and tell her what a terrible mistake he made, the more time she had to get really really mad at him and realize he wasn't worth it after all. So taking one last deep breath, he finally rang her doorbell.

For one scary moment, he didn't hear anything coming from her apartment and wondered if she was gone. After freaking out on his own for fifteen minutes before taking the decision the ring the doorbell, he didn't think he'd be able to wait however long it would take her to come home. Fortunately, he finally heard some noise, a door opening inside her apartment it seemed and then very light footsteps getting a little louder as she got closer. He didn't really have the time to wonder if he should smile or not when she looked through the peephole to see who it was (would him smiling look like he was making fun of her or …) because he could only hear a small gasp then what felt like an eternity -but probably only lasted a few seconds- without any sound and then she opened the door.

She was wearing yoga pants, a large t-shirt that fell down her shoulder and showed what looked like the straps of a sports bra and he wondered if she really had the courage to actually exercise after the night they had or if those were just her comfy clothes. But he didn't dwell on that too long because her eyes were red rimmed, her brows were furrowed in confusion and anger and she had her arms crossed over her chest while staying a few feet away from him and the door. It broke his heart to see her in a such an hostile posture when she'd been in his arms just this morning, sighing happily as she buried her head in the crook of his neck. But it was his fault, all of it, and at least she'd opened the door so he would take this opportunity to try and fix things with her.

"Jemma I-I'm … I brought you this, I wanted you to have it …" He said a little lamely as he handed her the Doctor Who t-shirt he'd folded and put a little ribbon around and a bow on top. He knew it was a weak start, he wished he's had at least the time to wash it but his mouth suddenly fell dry and that was all he could muster under her seriously terrifying gaze.

"I don't want your gifts Fitz!" She let out in a breathless angry whisper as she took it from him and threw it back at his chest.

"Alright alright I get it I shouldn't have started with that …" He said, looking down at the wrinkled piece of clothes on the floor that probably only reminded her of their night together and what she thought she'd lost, before looking back up at her. "Jemma I'm-I …I'm sorry, telling you I couldn't be with you was the biggest mistake I ever made and I…"

"Oh so you changed your mind again, you think you can spend the night with me and then just …"

"No Jemma I swear it's not like that …" Oh fuck, now he was tearing up again. "I never changed my mind in the first place … with what I did to my best friend, I didn't think I deserved to be happy with you but I-I … I regretted this phone call the minute I hung up the phone Jemma."

She didn't say a thing but it seemed that her expression had changed a little, even though he couldn't tell if it was a good or a bad thing so he just barreled on.

"I love you Jemma, everything I told you last night was real and I wish I could just rewind time and stop myself from calling you. I could have dealt with my own misery but I can't stand the fact that I hurt you." And now he was crying for good. It's not like he was usually so good at hiding his feelings anyway but there had to be something else, maybe the lack of sleep or maybe she was just that special … "If you give me another chance, I swear I'll spend everyday trying to make it up to you and …"

"But how do I know you're not going to leave me again the next time it gets complicated Fitz?" She finally cut him off. "And what about Trip?"

"He'll forgive me … eventually. I think … I think he knows that what we have is special Jemma …"

"Oh we're special now?" She replied. Her tone was meant to be snappy and sarcastic but he was pretty sure he could hear a tremor in her voice and something had definitely changed in her eyes and her posture. It was subtle but it was there and it spurned him on because it was or never anyway.

"Yes Jemma we're special, you're special … you're magnificent! It might sound crazy or it might even scare you away but it's true, I never felt anything like that for anyone before, it's like we're … you're … you're my lobster Jemma!"

"What?" She repeated with an annoyed huff, looking utterly confused but he thought he could also see a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

"My lobster … you see hum …" He trailed off, realizing how weird that sounded out loud even though he'd found it kind of sweet when he saw that documentary a few months ago. Well now that he started it, he had to finish the story or she was really going to think he was crazy. "Lobsters, once they find their partner, they stay together for the rest of their lives and lock their claws together … like that …" He said, trying his best to mime two lobster's claws with his hands. (one more thing he should probably have rehearsed) "… and they walk about the ocean floors without ever letting go of each other so you see …"

"Stop it!" She cried out while hitting his chest with the palm of her hands.

"Yeah sorry that was ridi …"

"That's adorable!" She cut him off. "That's adorable and I don't want to find you adorable, I'm mad at you, you idiot!"

She kept swatting at his chest for a moment and he let her. Because he deserved her anger but also because her expression was slowly morphing into something softer until she wasn't really hitting his chest anymore but almost caressing it. "You're an idiot …" She added, a little weakly and he decided it was probably safe to take her hands in his. They were freezing as always and she looked like she was tearing up as well.

"I'm really sorry Jemma … and I really mean everything I just said …" He said before blowing softly on her hands to warm them up. "Can you … can you give me another chance? We can … start over if you want, go out to dinner tonight?" He proposed with a small smile on his face and an hopeful tone.

She looked at him for what felt like hours, studying his face and probably debating with herself if the ridiculous nerdy Scot in front of her was worth risking having her heart broken once more. But her hands were still in his hands next to his heart and she didn't try to remove them so he thought that was a good sign.

"Okay …" She finally said and now that was definitely a real sincere smile on her face.

"Okay?"

"Yeah … let's go out to dinner tonight." She replied before another more mischievous smile tucked at her lips. "You can pick me up in two hours, see you later Fitz"

And with that, she closed the door and he found himself staring at the golden 3F sign just next to the peephole and wondering what just happened. She wanted to go out tonight and give him another chance so obviously that was a good thing. But he couldn't help being a little disappointed. He'd kind of hoped that even though their separation had been quite short, their reunion would be a bit more passionate, that it would involve a bit of kissing at least. And now what? Should he go home? Maybe change into a suit or something? Or maybe just wait here, make sure nothing happens that would prevent him from coming back in time.

Fortunately, he didn't have too much time to ponder over this because the door reopened barely a minute later. And before he had the time to ask if maybe she'd forgotten something, she grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, closing the door behind him but not before she grabbed the t-shirt that still laid on the floor.

"Jemma?"

"I've had a horrible day and I'm exhausted. So I want to take a long nap and I want cuddles and even though I'm still really mad at you, I also love you, a lot more than you deserve right now, and you're really warm and I don't want to wait to be in your arms again, that would be punishing myself as well as you …" She said before pulling him until his face was only an inch from hers and he finally relaxed when he wound his arms around her waist and she seemed to melt into him, both hands on top of his heart where it was now starting to beat much faster. "… and I'm keeping the shirt!" She added, almost against his lips.

Chuckling, he pulled her even closer. "You can have all the cuddles you want and you can have all of my t-shirts if you like … all the Doctor Who ones, the ones with science puns and even the ones with monkeys and also …"

Her lips were on his before he could finish. The kiss was slow and tender and he could feel how tired she actually was, but it was infused with so much love and hope for the future that at the moment, it felt like it was everything he needed.

"You're a ridiculous man …" She whispered against his lips when they parted and it only made him smile.

"Yeah but I'm your ridiculous man?"

"Mmhmm …" She hummed contentedly before wounding her arms around his neck and kissing him again, more passionately this time.

Their nap lasted much longer than they intended. Even though Jemma got all the cuddles she could wish for and felt more rested having slept in his arms than she ever did before, they also spent quite some time kissing and having quiet conversations about all the things they didn't dare ask each other before. It was a comfort to know he hadn't been imagining things for the past two months and it was freeing to be able to tell her all the feelings he had for her that "love" didn't even begin to cover. In the end, they still went out to dinner. Fitz's hair was a mess because of the way Jemma had threaded her fingers in it, his shirt was wrinkled from having slept in it and he had pillow creases on his cheek but he didn't care at all because no one would see him anyway. Just like him they'd be blinded by the light radiating from Jemma Simmons.

Also, they most definitely didn't have lobster.