Brief author's note: Just a disclaimer that I do not own Supernatural, but if I did, this would be all of Season 9. And just as a warning, I may or may not have the Impala twerk.

Kevin Tran was a normal boy. Just kidding. But nevertheless, he liked to be as average as he could be. It was a beautiful day, and Kevin happened to be taking a stroll down the street, enjoying the sunshine. Of course he was being followed. And of course he was just about to be kidnapped by the king of hell.

Typical day.

Crowley snuck stealthily out of the bushes, the foliage contrasting well with his red, polka-dot suit. He had a small button pinned to his chest that said "The Twerking Terror"

"Oh, look," Kevin said in a high-pitched voice. "It's Crowley! Hello, Mr. Crowley. How has your day been?"

Crowley wasn't taking any of Kevin's girly, conversational crap right now. He proceeded to hit Kevin on the head with a frying pan. The boy crumpled to the ground. Crowley grinned. He whisked Kevin off to a dark room.

When Kevin woke up, only two things registered in his mind.

It was dark.

And it was a room.

It was a very dark room.

He was about to scream for his mother to come save him when a blinding light flashed in his eyes. He could make out the faint outline of a stage in the distance. When more lights turned on, he actually did scream.

It was Crowley. And he was wearing nothing but a glittery bra and yoga pants.

"YOUNG KEVIN!" he roared.

Kevin started to cry.

"YOU MUST LEARN TO TWERK."

And with that, Crowley begin to shake his large butt to some very obscene music. The music got faster and faster, and Crowley began to hardcore twerk. Kevin was appalled. He wasn't even allowed to booty pop in front of his mother. But he kept on staring at Crowley. The way his butt moved looked so...cool.

After about 45 straight hours of twerking, Crowley decided to have a water break.

"Young one, you should join me."

Kevin began to shake uncontrollably. Twerking was tempting, but it looked hard.

"I will teach you my ways. But first, you must wear this." He threw a thong at Kevin's face.

"Ewwwwwwww."

"Wear it or I will destroy everything you hold dear."

Kevin gulped, glancing at the black fabric. This was so wrong.

"Doctor, I told you, I am experiencing a mental breakdown!"

The man glanced at Dean. "Sir, I am sorry, but I do not see any signs of mental illness or..."

Dean was so done with this.

He couldn't believe it. First his brother and angel crush cornered him, and now the doctor didn't believe him. This twerking thing left him weak. Now he was seeing Cas's butt wherever he looked.

"I'm hallucinating."

"What do you see?"

"I...I...I see my brother and my friend. They're twerking."

"DID YOU JUST SAY TWERKING?"

The doctor ripped off his lab coat to reveal skintight jeggings. Just as he was about to start dancing, Dean pulled out a gun and shot him 265 times in the chest. He ran out the door, ignoring the nurse's screams. When he saw his Impala, he smiled.

"Let's get out of here, baby," he whispered.

But the Impala clearly had differant ideas...

Oh my god, what the hell am I writing.