Here is a new chapter!

My current plan is to work on Night Cry next and try to alternate stories, but I still might work on the next chapter for this story first...all depends on my inspiration, my time, and the avalibity of my coauthors/betas.

This chapter is a major change in the story. I hope everyone can find time to review so I know how people feel about it and where everyone hopes the story will go. I read every review and every PM. and even if it doesn't seem like it, I take all suggestions under consideration.

I hope everyone enjoys this!

I want to thank everyone who is reading, especially those who review and contact me. and anyone who has helped me with the writing process.

Eric landed in front of a large house. There was almost no lighting around it. Eric had night vision; I on the other hand could hardly see anything. He put me down, but held me tight. I didn't want to go anywhere, but probably couldn't have even if I tried. There was a box with a keypad on the door where the handle should have been. Eric punched in a code using his vampire speed and the light on the box lit up green. The door clicked open. He moved and swooped me up. I was getting used to this and adjusting to being carried quickly.

Eric wasn't big on nightlights or any lights around the house apparently. I was a little nervous as I could barely make out any silhouettes of the furniture of the room. We walked to a hallway and entered a room. He flipped on a light and I saw we were in a study. I hardly had time to marvel at his bookcases before he opened up a closet door. I was wondering what the hell he was doing.

"Eric?"

"Shhh…Its fine, lover." He hushed me.

We walked in and he shut the door behind us.

Once more, he put me down and kept his arms around me. He moved his fingers along the corner where the two walls met and began to move the panel of the side wall. It was a fake wall. There was another door with the same type of keypad. He punched in the code, pushed the door open, and lifted me. He kicked the door shut and walked me down a dark staircase. We came to yet another door and went through our door routine.

My head was killing me and I wanted to clean myself and sleep. I felt dirty after that creep put his hands all over me. I cringed and Eric looked down at me. I smiled back at him weakly. I was too drained to speak.

He turned on a light and I saw a beautiful room. This place looked like a studio apartment. We walked past a small kitchen into a living room. I had no time to pay attention to the full layout and décor of the room, before we passed under an archway and Eric laid me on his bed.

He sat beside me and I felt so much better to be lying down. I almost wanted to cry. He stoked my hair and gently began to unwind my scrunci. I laid back once my hair was free and reached for his hand before he pulled it away.

"Please" I whispered.

I needed him. I needed his touch to get rid of the memories of that sicko.

His eyes peered into mine. He was so intense and I just wanted him more.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice thick.

"Yes." I nodded.

We rolled me on to my back and he began to kiss every inch of my face, my neck, my throat…

I started playing with his beautiful hair while pulling his face close to my body. His hands roamed my body and pulled my clothes off. I wanted more of him. It was like each brush of his fingertips was cleaning off the slime I felt on me. I started to roll his shirt up and he pulled it off. His jeans and boxers followed suit. With in moments we were naked.

His body covered mine and he didn't stop kissing and caressing me. I was very ready and needy by the time he slid into me. My legs held his hips against mine. He balanced on one forearm, with his other wrapped around me. We were trying desperately to make our bodies one.

His pace was slow and steady. I ran my nails over his back. He felt so good. I began to get noisy with my moans and whimpers.

"Eric."

He scraped his fangs over my throat. His thrusts increased and I came around him.

"Again. Give me your pleasure again." He said hoarsely.

"Oh….my god…"

He kept his eyes on mine. I was practically screaming before I came again. He kissed me hard and licked from the vein on my neck.

"I love you."

We stopped.

The words had left my mouth before I could stop them.

Oh god. Oh my god.

I wanted to take them back. How could I have said that?

The look on Eric's face scared me. He was surprised but looked like a wolf who had just caught his prey.

I was done for.

I had said IT.

"Say it again."

I froze. I couldn't do this. I couldn't love Eric Northman.

"I know it's true….I've had your blood. Now say it."

I was breathing very heavy.

I couldn't go back now.

"I…love you."

He smiled and pressed into me.

"Hhmmm" I moaned.

"Mine!"

His thrusts were hard and fast. His fangs plunged into my neck. He came quickly, but stayed inside of me.

He kissed me again and was ready for more.

"Mine…mine..mine…"

I don't even know if he realized he was mumbling this as he moved in me. I held him close and enjoyed the pleasure he gave me.

I was his.

We made love a few more times. I had lost count. Eric only pulled out of me once to reposition ourselves. We held each other until I had to attend to some human needs. He lead me to an adjoining bathroom. There was a sink, a toilet, a closet, and a sliding door that was closed. I wondered what was behind, but was too tired to check. I finished and went back to the bed.

Eric was cozy under the blankets. I crawled under with him and he held me. I was asleep in minutes if not seconds.

I woke up, but couldn't tell what time it was. Eric was sleeping so the sun must have been up. A small light was on in the corner of the room. It wasn't when I fell asleep, so Eric must have flipped it on for me. I noticed for the first time that there was a curtain on the archway between the bedroom area and living room area. It was drawn and I wondered if this was Eric's way of asking me to stay in the room.

I walked to a small table by the end of the room and saw two covered trays and a piece of paper. I grabbed it and read the note quickly. Eric wanted me to eat, rest, shower, and amuse myself with the newspapers and magazines he left on the shelf in the bathroom. I thought it was weird for him to have reading material in the bathroom since unlike humans he didn't sit down in there and read. I just brushed it off. I had bigger things to worry about.

I turned back around and studied Eric for a moment. I didn't think I could ever get used to how beautiful he was. Lying there in slumber, his face relaxed, his golden hair fanned out on the pillow, he looked so young. One could never guess that he'd been alive for 1000 or more years and carried so many responsibilities on his shoulders and memories of lifetime after lifetime in his head.

He had saved me the night before.

I stopped and my heart stilled. I realized I wanted him there, even when I didn't need saving. I didn't want a life without him. I didn't want to go back to hoping to see him and getting butterflies every time I did. Or debating going to the Fangtasia because I didn't want to seem obvious or hitting on a vampire is crazy or because I worried he'd reject me.

I don't know how this happened. I got too close and got attached. I told him I loved him and said I was 'his'. I needed to stop thinking about this…just not now.

I walked to him and reached down to softly kiss his full lips, smoothing back the hair from his forehead. Then I pulled the covers up over his shoulders and went to take care of my "human needs."

I noticed that sliding door again and wondered what was behind it. I don't know how Eric would feel about me exploring, but it seemed like he took steps to keep me in this part of the bathroom and the bedroom : closing the door, drawing the curtain, leaving me food, turning on a light, writing a note, and offering reading material.

I decided to try out the shower. It wasn't as big as one would assume, but it was very nice. I could easily fit Eric inside with me. I took a moment to think about this and shook my head. I was such a nympho sometimes.

The door was glass and frosted. There was a rack with soaps and two large, round shower heads on each side. I only needed one and left the other off. I was curious once more about the shampoo, conditioner and body wash Eric had. It didn't really seem to fit his personality. I wondered if I didn't know as much about him as I thought I did or if these weren't bought solely for Eric.

I turned the cold water down until I almost got scalded. I felt so good by the time I finished. I dried off and grabbed a robe hanging on the back of the door. I think Eric and I were comfortable enough to share clothes. I went and ate, actually enjoying the silence. At home I always had a fan on at night or the TV during the day and I played music a lot. Working in a bar leads you to enjoy quiet and after the past few days – mostly last night – I needed it.

I did dig through the reading selection Eric had and was pleasantly surprised. I settled for a recent copy of Time Magazine. I wasn't always in love with the regular columnists and their views, but I knew I'd find at least one enjoyable article.

I don't know how much time passed, but I decided to go in the bathroom and mess with semi-wet hair. I brushed it and put it in a comfortable ball. When I exited the bathroom, Eric was sitting on the bed with his feet on the floor, wearing only his boxers.

I smiled and walked over to him. He pulled me on his lap, so my legs were draped over his. We kissed.

"Missed you." I said against his mouth.

He kissed me again.

"Are you mine?"

"Yes." I said a little more confidently than I would have when I first woke up. Maybe Eric just needed this phrase and these words. Maybe because he was a vampire and maybe I enjoyed them a bit too.

He looked into my eyes and I started to feel nervous.

"I need you to be mine in all ways."

I was lost. How wasn't I his?

"I don't understand."

"We aren't really together. You asked before about how I'd treat you with other vampires. I don't like it. There is your life with humans, my life with vampires, and then us. I can't be split in three ways."

He cuddled me against him. I didn't know where he was going, but I was scared I was about to lose him.

"Eric, plenty of couples balance different parts of their lives-" I started before he interrupted me.

"It's not the same for us. You could have died last night. You are not safe when you aren't with me."

"It was one time."

"Two times!" He said sharply. "And I'll have you remember one of those vampires got away. What happens next time when I can't get there? When they just stab or shoot you?"

I teared up at the memory. I was still scared and he had a point. But was I really a regular target?

Or did it even matter? All it takes is one time.

"I can't do this." He cupped my face. "I can't lose you. I can't have you, but not have you. You can't be mine only when it fits into your schedule."

His voice was soft. I wanted to protest. He sounded hurt. He sounded like he really didn't want to be without me and as angry as he was about me being attacked, he feared my mortality.

I was planning on telling him he couldn't quit my job for me and telling him that it's unacceptable for him to do so. But now I didn't have it in me.

"What do you want?" I whispered.

"You." He stroked my cheek with his thumb. "I want you to be mine. I want you to stay here. And I want you to accept me for who and what I am. This must be all or nothing"

I nodded. I didn't really understand all of what he was saying. I kept thinking this was crazy and maybe I needed to get out. If Eric was human, I would have left without another thought. What he seemed to be asking for and doing bordered on unhealthy.

"Look at me." He pulled me away from my thoughts.

"I know I'm upsetting you. I shouldn't have to just feel it; you should tell me."

"I'm scared and I don't understand." I told him the truth.

"Trust me."

He made it sound so simple. I didn't want to speak. I didn't have enough grasp of my thoughts to do so anyway.

"That's what this is ; you trusting me." He paused and I knew something big was going to come out of his mouth. "I don't just want you all the time. I want you to embrace my dominance."

My jaw almost dropped. Where the hell was he going with this? How did we end up here?

"I want you to be mine and I want to own you." A small noise came out of my mouth, but he ignored it. "I want you to yield to me 24/7."

"Wait a minute…are you talking about…kinky stuff?" I asked.

"Yes and no. We will be very "kinky", but your submission won't stop just because the sex is over."

I knew what he was talking about. I just didn't expect to have this conversation.

I looked around the room, seeing the drawn curtain over the archway.

The note had directed the activities he wanted me to do, the way he wanted me to spend my free time while I waited for him to wake.

These were very subtle ways of controlling me.

And then there was the fact that we had gone through several security doors to get in here. I couldn't get out on my own! I suddenly felt trapped and wondered if at my age one could develop claustrophobia.

My head was reeling….

He was talking about owning me, and dominance? He was pulling me into some horror slash trashy adult novel. I stared at Eric with my mouth open.

"Wait, Eric, just, wait," I stuttered. I pushed against his chest and stood up, aware that I only did so because he'd allowed it. I took a couple of steps and turned to face him, and I saw that he had also stood up. As he approached, I put my hands up and backed up a step. As if he understood my need for space, he only squeezed my shoulder as he walked by, and went to stand in front of the covered archway.

What, did he think I was going to bolt? Where was I going to go?

I felt a rush of panic as I realized that I was effectively trapped, but then I looked into Eric's eyes and saw that I had nothing to fear from him. His blue eyes were soft and warm and I could find the slightest bit of anger or agitation coming from him.

Finally I found my voice. "I don't understand, Eric," I told him. "What do you mean, you want to own me? I've already given you every part of me – my heart, my body, my love. That isn't enough?"

Couldn't it be enough? Shouldn't it?

"Again, yes and no," he replied. "I cherish those things and am humbled that you give them to me, but it isn't enough. I need you here, with me ; every day, all the time. I want to know what you're doing, what you're thinking, how you're feeling."

"I always tell you those things, Eric," I said, shaking my head in confusion.

"But you are not always here," he explained. "You do things, see people every day, that I don't know about. I worry and know that you would be safer here."

"OK, so you want me to live with you?" I asked him.

"Yes, I want you to live with me, but there is more."

"Eric," I said, "I am an independent woman. I can take care of myself. I don't..."

He cut me off with a harsh voice. "Are you to independent to trust me? To let me take care of you? To commit yourself to me?" His brows had come down over his eyes and he was starting to look angry.

"Of course I will commit myself to you!" I tried to reassure him. "Eric, I've already done that! I have no other men in my life and I don't plan on going anywhere! What do I have to do to prove that to you?"

I wanted to talk about my job and about how far I'd come – mostly on my won. How I moved away from home and kept myself afloat. I wanted to tell him that while my family was always there for me, I took care of myself. That everyone got so used to coming to me with their problems, no one was there to help me with mine and I got through it all. I was a caretaker and a helper, not the other way around.

His eyes gleamed for a second, like he thought he had just found the prize at the bottom of the cracker-jack box.

"Give yourself to me, Dina. Every part of you. Every minute of every day. That is what I want." He folded his arms and looked at me expectantly

For the first time in my life, I thought I was going to faint. Just have some information and emotional overload and fall over. I rubbed my forehead hard.

"Eric…I…"

"Do you want time to think?"

"Yes."

I needed that. I was going to go home and take a bath and maybe even drink – god knows I rarely did it and probably shouldn't reach for a bottle when making a life altering choice, but fuck – I was at my wits end.

"That's fine. I'm going to go get you some necessities and food, after I run a small business errand. I'll be back in a few hours." He turned and started to leave. I opened my mouth to speak. "Please stay in the bedroom and bathroom area. I'll be back soon, lover."

He winked and walked out.

I should have stopped him. I was honestly more afraid that he might just tell me I couldn't leave. I'd rather be unknowingly locked up here in peaceful ignorance. I sat on the bed and started to think. I kept stopping to pace and go to the bathroom. I washed my hands, I climbed in the shower and kept my hair dry while scolding my body. I cried.

I tried to rationalize leaving Eric. I was...in love with him. There was no denying this and no fighting it. But he wasn't like me. I was nonviolent, kind, felt sorry for nearly everyone, and could not keep up with his politics. He was also immortal and I don't want that. I'm not suicidal, but I defiantly don't think this life is worth living forever. I wanted babies. I wanted peace and a relaxed simple life. I was tired of the excitement. I was just tired.

My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I didn't know how I went from who ever I was a few years ago to this. Here I was still in school - years behind graduating - working at some bar and dating someone a lot older than me!

Dating.

Could I even call this dating?

I don't think we'd ever gone out anywhere but his bar.

My life wasn't going where I wanted it but I gotta be honest - I don't really have a future with him. I won't have babies. I can't marry him. he's not keen on me working or going to school anymore.

He talked about not knowing the people I was around, but I didn't bother to ask him to spend time with me and my friends. He wouldn't even give them a chance. He'd hate it. It would be awkward. I didn't even care if some felt uneasy with him. I'd defend him

God, can I really leave someone I would defend?

I'm losing my mind.

But its a moot point. I'll never have to defend him.

I'll live in his home and…be with him 24/7. Do nothing but be his and only have to worry about us.

And if Eric lets me keep up with some of my life, I get to field questions about who I'm dating. A vampire. A 1000 year old vampire. One who still hasn't met anyone in my life. Didn't that just make me and my life look awesome?

No one would understand how I was with Eric. He didn't mistreat me, he didn't hide me, and I didn't want to hide him. But by all appearances no one could tell this.

Maybe I really missed a public life. Where I didn't sleep most of the day so I could stay up for most of the night. Where I could trot my partner out in front of my friends and at parties. Maybe I still had this sick fascination of going to my 10 year reunion and showing that I've done some cool things, I have someone who many people want, and I'm happy.

I didn't want to give into superficial goals or outside social pressures - but I think that's what some of this was…

I was starting to feel ashamed of myself. Was I this shallow?

Or this immature? To want some princess' day in the sun?

Was I still the nerd (ugly duckling) who wanted to become the prom queen (beautiful swan)?

I sighed.

I honestly couldn't say I wasn't a little turned on. And while I understood Domination/submission (D/s), it was academic for me. It was never a lifestyle I was investigating and considering for myself. Did I have it in me to submit? Would I feel less of what I am now?

I didn't want to lose him. I truly didn't.

I curled up on the bed and smelled his scent on the pillows. What was I going to do?