No one spoke for the longest time.

The signed contract stared at them.

The Hobbit had excused himself for the time being and the Company took the moment to begin discussing his lack of family to travel with him.

"Well," Gloin began. "Bombur and I are already married, so we're both out." Bombur nodded his agreement.

"As am I," Balin interjected. "I could keel over any day now. And Fili and Ori are out, saying that they are still underage."

"We're almost of age," Kili protested.

"Not for another few years and that won't help our Burglar," Thorin reminded him. "By our laws he must travel with family, which he does not have. He wishes to go," Thorin pointed at the contract. "Meaning he has to wed someone among us. So other than those who have already backed out for the obvious reasons, who is willing to take him as their spouse? There are eight of us who are eligible."

"Why not just let him choose?" Dwalin asked.

They looked at him.

"We may uphold our own laws and if he is to come, he will be subject to them, but not at the cost of his freedom."

Gandalf smiled at him.

Dwalin ignored the Wizard. He only said what he believed true.

Dwalin considered himself an honest dwarf and a noble warrior. He couldn't, in good conscience, let Bilbo be forced into a marriage he did not want.

"Send for the Halfling," Thorin ordered. "And let him choose."

"There'll be no need for sending anyone. I'm right here," Bilbo said. He bit his lip and he looked at Dwalin. "If marriage be the only way I can offer my services, minimal as they are, then I'll marry Mr. Dwalin, if he does not object."

The room stared at him. Even Dwalin felt taken aback.

"Dwalin?" Balin asked, breaking the silence. "Excuse my rudeness, but why my brother?"

"Yeah, why not Fili?" Kili added.

Fili spun his head around to his brother and slapped the back of his head, blushing.

"Or Dori?" Ori chimed.

Dori choked on his tea.

"Or perhaps Bofur?"

Bofur blushed, pulling his hat further down, trying to hide his face.

"None of you thought to ask my opinion on the matter until Mr. Dwalin suggested it!" Bilbo snapped at them. "I thought if, as he is kind enough to ask what I thought or who I would choose, he would perhaps be the better choice among the lot of you! At least he doesn't try to make decisions for me!"

Thorin turned to Dwalin.

"Well, I've no reason to decline," Dwalin said, "If the Hobbit will marry me."

Thorin looked at Bilbo again, waiting for him to change his mind.

"Very well," he said when no further objections came to light. "Balin, if you would compose a marriage contract for Dwalin and…Master Baggins…that will suffice for now until a proper ceremony is performed."

"If I could get a scrap of parchment, I will do so immediately."

"I'll show you to the writing desk," Bilbo offered. Balin followed him.

Thorin sat beside Dwalin. "Are you sure you're comfortable marrying the Halfling?"

"A little shocked he chose me," Dwalin admitted with a shrug. "Not unlike the rest. I've nothing to complain of. It's his choice."

"But is it yours?"

Dwalin shrugged. "I'm not particular either way. He wants to go. I'll help any way I can. Personally, I think he's safer here."

"He'll be bound to you by our laws. Not his. It is unusual for a marriage of convenience to happen."

Dwalin looked at Thorin. He smirked. "You and I know that. So does Bag—Bilbo, I wager. At the very least he understands it. He wants to go and he will be subject to our laws if he does. This is just the first he'll have to adhere to."

"Dwalin," Balin called. "Thorin, you might as well come to…and Gandalf."

Thorin and Dwalin walked side by side. Gandalf followed them, ducking under the banisters so not to hit his head.

"Now, everything is in order, and an official ceremony will take place once the mountain is reclaimed," Balin said. He looked at Bilbo and Dwalin. "Last chance, lads," he said. "Once it's signed, that's it. No backing out."

Dwalin glanced at Bilbo. He seemed a little pale, but other than that he was resolute.

Dwalin took the quill first.

From hereon forth, by the Law of Durin the Deathless, and by Thorin II Oakenshield, the Son of Thrain the Son of Thror: King under the Mountain, the two foresworn are hereby wed.

He signed his name. He handed it to Bilbo. Bilbo read the contract, perhaps for the second or third time before signing his name.

The quill passed back to Balin, then to Gandalf, and lastly to Thorin, who sealed it with a wax insignia.

"Congratulations on your marriage," Thorin said, though he sounded far from joyous. He left the room.

Balin patted Bilbo's head. "Welcome to the family, Brother."

Noise built up again slowly as the others came to congratulate them and celebratory music began to pick up.

Dwalin felt hands on his back. Bilbo shouted protests at the Dwarves pushing them toward Bilbo's room on the other end of the hall.

"Enjoy yourselves, lads," Bofur said, grinning. He winked and the door closed.

Dwalin growled, crossing his arms. Bilbo sat on the bed, pale and tense.

"Relax," Dwalin said. He made no move from where he stood. "They mean well, but this isn't a normal marriage by any standards."

"So…same-sex marriages are odd?"

"No. It's not that. Dwarves rarely marry for convenience, as is the case with you and me."

"Oh. I didn't know same-sex marriages were…appropriate."

"Would we have wed if it wasn't?"

Bilbo chuckled. "I guess not."

"Look, laddie, we don't have to complete everything tonight. We're married now and that means we are equals. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do so if you don't want to consummate the marriage tonight, we won't."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Good. I'm not sure I'm quite…ready for that just yet. My head's spinning from the insanity enough as it is now. I mean," he managed a small smile. "I'm going on an adventure…with a group of Dwarves. And now I'm married to one. All in one night…" he leaned forward, placing his head between his knees. "I'm fine."

"Are you going to faint again?"

"Maybe. How are you not keeling over yourself?"

Dwalin shrugged. "I'm used to it, I guess. Life's always been fast paced for me and my brother. We're soldiers. We learned that we have to be ready to fight at any moment. Sometimes that means running out into the night in just your johns."

Bilbo laughed. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"I wasn't sure I made the right choice in a husband. It's an odd law, but you are right that I'll have to obey Dwarfish laws if I want to go. And I really want to go…Eru above! Husband…"

"Yeah, it'll take some getting used to."

"How are you not panicking?"

"No room for it," Dwalin said, finally sitting down in the chair on the other side of the room. "Like I said, I'm a warrior. I can't let things get to me. Otherwise, I'd be as chalky as you are now."

Bilbo blinked, looking up. "Am I really that pale?"

"Yes."

Bilbo groaned, leaning down again. "I think I was too rash."

"You all right?"

"Yeah…just…give me a moment."

Dwalin stood and approached the bed.

Bilbo jumped.

Dwalin raised his hands and reached into a pouch. "You're hair is a bit short, but not so short I can't manage one braid. They'll expect one in your hair and in mine in the morning." He pulled out two beads. "Would you rather I braid your hair now or in the morning?"

Bilbo looked at the beads. "Now."

Dwalin sat beside him and weaved a braid in the curls, clasping it together with one bead. Bilbo reached up to touch it. He pulled his hand away from his hair. "I can't say my braiding skills are great…I've never had reason to braid anyone's hair before."

"S'easier than you think," Dwalin assured him. He taught Bilbo how to weave the braid in his beard and how to clasp it with the bead. "See? Easy."

Bilbo nodded, dropping his hand from Dwalin's beard. He wrung his hands, as though eager for something in them. "Are you packed for the journey?"

"Yes. I almost forgot my pocket-handkerchief!" He chuckled. "I guess that sounds a little silly, doesn't it?"

"A little," Dwalin admitted. He stood and returned to the chair. "Try to sleep, Bilbo. We leave before daybreak."

Bilbo nodded, lying on the bed. He shivered a little, not daring to pull the covers over.

Dwalin approached after a while of watching. He tugged the blankets from under him and lay them over Bilbo.

The little guy wasn't half bad, pointy ears aside.