Voices. They were somewhere near by, low and rumbling. Men. Men were speaking. Beeping. Soft, but steady and unrelenting. Some sharp, sterile smell. It was unpleasant.
Pain. It flooded her suddenly and totally, and it was everywhere. She tried to move, but a particularly tender spot at the base of her skull kept her head immobile. A tiny moan escaped her lips. The voices ceased. Footsteps, crisp and swift, growing louder as they drew near. The deeper voice spoke again, far closer now.
"She just moved."
The tenor replied, polite and kind, but strained. "Mr. Malfoy, I don't think- I understand you're under a great amount stress, and obviously grieving, but she-"
"Narcissa, can you hear me?"
A tentative hand reached out to touch the one resting limply in the sheets. The fingers reached out eagerly.
"Mort?" she croaked pitifully. The hand was immediately retracted from her searching fingers.
Narcissa's eyes flickered open, and she glanced around blankly.
"Wherem'I?" she mumbled, nearly incoherent. The MediWizard smiled, surprised but evidently relieved.
"You are at St. Mungo's, Mrs. Malfoy. How are you feeling?"
"Bad," she moaned emphathetically.
"Of course. You had quite a nasty accident."
Even in the disoriented haze, rage filled her. "It wasn't an accident!" The words were disappointingly weak, as she'd intended to shout them.
"I know. I know it wasn't, Narcissa." Lucius moved into her line of sight.
"You… do?"
He nodded tightly. "Yes."
"Then what…?"
"Beatrice is on her way now to Vila Nova de Gaia, in Portugal. She'll live with our grandparents until she's married. I understand that you wouldn't wish to… see her."
Narcissa's eyes widened, stunned. "You believed me?"
"Of course I did. Beatrice admitted to hexing you after it became clear innocence would not keep her in Wiltshire. Terentia wished to show support for her; she's en route to Portugal as well."
She was feeling better already. She rather hoped she didn't look too pleased, especially not when Lucius looked so decidedly unwell. His usual icy paleness looked pallid, the ever-present dark shadows beneath his eyes seemed more defined than they normally did, and his immaculately tied hair had worked itself partially free and strands fell raggedly around his face.
She wriggled slightly into a semi-sitting position, freezing when Lucius reached out to help her. He let the hand fall away, and she forced herself upright with a soft groan.
"Why does it hurt so much when I-" she stopped suddenly, hand resting on her sore middle. "The baby. Is my baby alright?"
There was no reply. She looked desperately at the Healer, who was standing quietly in the corner of the room, overly involved in some charts, eyes averted. Her head snapped quickly to Lucius, whose gaze was on the mattress upon which she lay.
"They tried their best." The words were slow, forced out with difficulty. "It wasn't enough. The baby… it's gone."
For a moment, she didn't breathe. She wasn't conscious of the fact she was shaking, only Lucius's words, echoing over and over in her head. Gone. Gone. She was only dimly aware of the fact he had continued talking.
"…Said there was minimal damage to you, and it should only be slightly more difficult for you to conceive again, but to wait about a month before attempting- are you alright?"
Her teeth were chattering, and her eyes had a far-off look in them. "My baby," she whispered, trying to ignore the aching emptiness that seemed to be growing inside of her. For the third time since she'd woken, he reached out to her, this time to offer sympathy.
Narcissa snapped.
"Stop touching me!" She cried, jerking violently away, hardly aware of the pain the sudden movement caused. "Just stop it! I hate it when you touch me!"
He seemed taken aback, and when he replied, his voice was infuriatingly controlled. "I understand you're upset; our child-"
"No! Not our child, my child! My baby didn't mean anything to you other than an heir, you insensate monster, and it wasn't to be our child until it was born! I'd decided to love it anyway, even if you were the father, I didn't care, because when it was inside of me it was my baby, not ours! And your bloody sister took that away from me, because obviously I wasn't miserable enough living with you!"
There was silence for a moment. "I'm sorry you feel that way," Lucius began, but Narcissa cut him off once more.
"You're not, so don't lie! You aren't sorry about anything, ever!"
Lucius didn't attempt to respond. He rose silently and exited the room swiftly, not turning to glance back once. Probably bored of my complaints, she thought bitterly.
"Erm, Mrs. Malfoy?" She looked up quickly; she'd forgotten the Healer was still in the room.
"Oh. Hello." Narcissa replied dully.
"I-ahm, I'm sure it isn't my place, but your husband seemed rather distraught the entire time you were incapacitated."
"Of course he did; if I died, he'd have to go through the troublesome process of interviewing women for a new wife." She settled herself down and closed her eyes. "I'm rather tired," she announced needlessly.
"I'll just let you be then," the Healer murmured, ducking from the room.
…
When she returned home, several days later, the house was alarmingly still. It didn't usually bustle, not even close, but she hated the absolute stillness.
"Is your father in?"
"No. He isn't." Lucius frowned slightly, but Narcissa continued to press him.
"Will he be back soon?"
"No. He and my mother decided that they would rather live with the girls for now."
Narcissa stared at him, aghast. "You mean we've got to live here alone?"
"Most married people do." Irritation was creeping into his voice.
"Well, most married people actually like the person they're married to," she muttered under her breath, not really intending him to her, but not caring that he obviously did by the glare she received. "Can I have Bella come stay here for a weekend?"
"Of course. I'll be in my study if you need anything."
"But it's Monday- don't you have to go to work?"
"I work from home, Narcissa." He sounded a bit exasperated. "As I've worked since we've been wed."
"Really?" She hardly cared that he was home each day when she thought he was not, but supposed that explained how he'd found her after Beatrice had pushed her. "Well, that's nice. I'm going to go write to Bella now." Finish writing, actually, she amended silently, remembering the half finished letter in her bedroom. Although- she took a steadying breath- that letter's contents were no longer pertinent, as she was no longer pregnant.
"Are you alright?" He'd obviously noticed the deep, trembling inhalation.
"Fine," she replied curtly, striding of before he could see the pain in her eyes. But when she got to the desk in her room, the letter wasn't there. Confused, she looked around, and found it lying on the floor, slightly creased.
Clumsy elves, her mind offered in explanation, and she hardly gave it a second thought as she tossed the paper in the small trash bin.
…
"Cissy! Narcissa! Ah, there you are- Roddy, you can probably give those to the elves."
"Could you fucking pack anymore?" Rodolphus grunted irritably, heaving the trunks into the room. "We're here for two bloody days, not weeks!"
"Language, darling, when we're in the company of others. Cissy, how are you? Where's Malfoy?" Bellatrix grinned, embracing her younger sister and patting her hair.
"Oh, he's around somewhere… Rodolphus, she's right, Finny will take those up to the guest room. Bella, you look wonderful." Narcissa watched her glowing sister enviously. Bellatrix spun, laughing brightly.
"You flatter me, really Cissy."
"Yeah, you do- I told her just this morning she was getting fat." Rodolphus called obnoxiously. Bellatrix shot him a murderous glare, and he grinned. "You know I'm only teasing, love," He took her by the waist and kissed her. "You are, without question, the most beautiful woman I've ever met."
Bellatrix kissed him back, and Narcissa cleared her throat uncomfortably. With a giggle, Bella pulled away.
"My baby sister, go find your husband, won't you?"
Narcissa nodded in agreement, ducking from the room, hearing Rodolphus say, strangely,
"How long d'you think we've got?"
"Three minutes, tops."
"That's enough time for me."
Narcissa moved away as Bellatrix responded with something that sounded like 'selfish pig' but perhaps wasn't. They'd begun kissing again, causing the words to become rather muddled. She'd never been in Lucius' study before, but knew it was beside her private little room. The door was closed when she arrived, so she knocked briskly.
"Yes?" The door opened, and Lucius appeared.
"Bella and Rodolphus are here."
Something from his expression led her to believe he was less than excited by this news. "Indeed. I'll be there… shortly."
"They're waiting now." Best to get him involved in some conversation or another as soon as possible, so she could have Bella all to her self.
"Very well then." He followed her through the corridors, but when they reached the room where the newlyweds had been left, Lucius stopped her.
"Is there a problem?"
"Wait here." Lucius growled, stalking forward. Narcissa frowned, more confused by the odd noises coming from other room than strange behaviour of her husband.
"Bellatrix! Rodolphus!" His sharp tone caused Narcissa, still in the corridor, to jump slightly. "Have some dignity!"
"Oh c'mon Malfoy," Bella's whine was breathy.
"You are acting like hormone driven teenagers. It's revolting. Get off my table and wait a few hours until you can go to bed and do whatever the hell you'd like. Lestrange, stop that!" There was a bang and Rodolphus swore loudly, and Bellatrix moaned in protest. "Now, do you think you can behave like civilized adults, or do I need to separate you two for the rest of the day?" His tone was sneering.
"You know Malfoy, I'll bet you're really boring in-"
"My house, Bellatrix, my rules," he interrupted loudly.
Narcissa stood in the hall, mildly horrified. It was, after all, her sister in there. She strode in once certain the scene was all but finished; Bellatrix still sulked, and Rodolphus stood half behind his wife, hands jammed firmly in his pockets and he slouched in a peculiar way. The expression on his face was one of intense discomfort, and he shot Lucius frequent looks of loathing.
"Bella, I'm sure the men have catching up to do- won't you come sit outside? It's a lovely day."
For most of the afternoon, Bellatrix bubbled on about her marriage. It was impossible to listen without envy to the sheer joy in her usually-bitter sister's voice. Eventually, though, she steered the conversation to Narcissa's own relationship.
"Are you and Malfoy getting on any better, then?" she asked, sipping her tea.
"No," Narcissa sighed, "and I doubt we ever will."
"I'm sure it can't be that bad-"
"It can!" It came out in a rush- the miserable nights, her pregnancy, Beatrice's attack; everything. At the end, Bellatrix was silent for a moment.
"Well..." she said slowly at last, "we're going to have to do something about this, aren't we?" The rhetorical question was distinctly threatening.