Written For GringottsPrompt Bank:
A-Z AU: Squib!Sirius
Bambi: [animal/creature]: owl
"A Squib," his mother says in disgust. "I might have known. You always were such a disappointment."
Sirius sniffles, rubbing furiously at his eyes. He cannot, will not cry. "Give me a chance!" the boy pleads. "I can be a wizard!"
But it's too late. He watches, heart breaking, as his mother blasts his name from the tapestry.
…
"What's your name?" the man asks, kneeling down and taking Sirius by the hand.
"Sirius. Sirius Black."
"Black?" The man frowns. "I suspect your family wouldn't want you wandering around Muggle London."
"I don't have a family anymore," Sirius sniffs, and the tears he's been holding back fall freely. "I'm a Squib, and Blacks are not Squibs!"
"Tell you what. You can come home with me. You're about my boy's age. Remus would enjoy the company. At least until the Ministry can figure out what to do with you."
Sirius hesitates. His mother has always told him not to talk to strangers, especially not in this area. But his mother isn't his mother anymore, and he's hungry and afraid, and he can't help but to take the man's hand.
…
"You'll write to me, won't you?" Sirius asks, his voice trembling. "You won't forget about me?"
Remus wraps his arms around his best friend. "How could I forget you?" he laughs. "I promise I'll write you."
...
Lyall Lupin detaches the letters from the owl's leg. "Remus wrote us," he announces. "There's even one just for you, Sirius."
Sirius looks up, a grin on his face. He eagerly grabs the letter, tearing the envelope open.
Sirius,
Hogwarts is amazing! The castle is huge! You'd really like it. The staircases even move! Isn't that crazy?
I've already made friends. James and Peter. I've told them all about you of course. James says you sound nice, and that your family is full of tossers.
Classes are pretty boring so far. More notes than wandwork, but we're learning the Levitation Charm this week.
How are you? I miss you like crazy. It would be even more fun if you were here.
Write soon!
-Remus
Sirius jumps to his feet.
"Where are you going?" Hope asks. "You're going to be late for school."
"I wanted to write Remus."
"After school," she says.
Sirius heaves a defeated sigh. "Yes, ma'am."
…
Sirius,
I can't believe it's nearly summer already. I hope you haven't missed me too much.
I have loads to tell you when I get home. There's this girl, Lily. James fancies her, but Lily says she'd rather eat frog liver than even look at James. Pretty brutal, right? But I'll tell you more about that later. Can't put anything incriminating in writing.
I'll be home soon. Take care.
-Remus
Sirius feels a twinge of jealousy. He wonders if Remus tells his friends stories about him, the way he tells Sirius stories about them.
He tucks the letter in his pocket and sighs.
…
"You didn't write me back," Remus accuses.
"I've been busy," Sirius mutters. "And maths isn't nearly as exciting as magic."
Remus laughs, sitting on his bed and pulling out a book.
"Summer homework?"
"No. Professor McGonnagall gave me a book to read. She says I show a lot of promise."
"Lucky you.
…
Sirius stays behind when the Lupins take Remus to the station. Remus had been disappointed ("James and Peter would love to meet you!"), but Sirius can't stand the thought of watching Remus leave him again.
…
Sirius,
I met your brother today. He doesn't seem like a tosser. I told James, but he reckons I'm wrong.
Professor Slughorn has a thing called the Slug Club. Lily was invited. I'd like to get an invitation. James says we should crash one of the parties. But that's just James. I bet you two would be best mates if you were here. He's bonkers, just like you!
Well, I gotta go. I have a History of Magic essay to write.
-Remus
…
Sirius,
Still no Slug Club invitation. It's coming, I'm sure.
I saw Regulus practicing Quidditch when we were sneaking around the grounds. He's pretty good. I'll bet you anything he'll be on the Slytherin team next year.
How's school? You never talk about any of your friends or anything. I bet you're popular. Don't worry. I won't get jealous. I know you won't replace me.
-Remus
…
"What's wrong, Sirius?" Hope asks, sitting beside him on the porch.
"I miss Remus," Sirius answers because he can't talk about the jealousy that is eating away at his insides.
She ruffles his hair affectionately. "He'll be home for Christmas, love. Don't worry."
…
Sirius,
James asked Peter and me to spend the holiday with him. Mum and Dad said yes! I'm excited.
Before we leave, James is set on sneaking into the Slug Club Christmas party. I dunno. I might do it.
Did I tell you your brother is in it? Apparently Slughorn saw him flying. He thinks Regulus might become a professional.
I hope you have a good holiday. I don't know when I'll be able to write again. James says we'll be pretty busy.
-Remus
…
Sirius unwraps his gifts, trying to look cheerful for the Lupins. This Christmas, he's all that they have.
He tries not to think about Remus and his new friends. Tries not to think about Remus watching Regulus so much. But it's all he can think about.
…
"We crashed three parties before Slughorn realized," Remus laughs. "James even stole a bottle of wine! It was hilarious!"
Sirius looks down at his notebook, sketching absently.
"I thought you'd find it funny," Remus mumbles.
"I have a lot on my mind."
"Relationship troubles?"
Sirius' cheeks burn. "You could say that. They don't really know, so it's not really a relationship."
"Whoever it is, they would be lucky to have you," Remus says, clapping his hand against Sirius' shoulder.
Sirius offers a small smile. "I'm not so sure," he sighs.
"Cheer up. It's the summer! No time for sadness."
…
Sirius,
You will never believe what happened! Regulus asked me to go to a Slug Club party with him. I accepted. James says I'm a traitor. He's joking, of course. But he doesn't like your brother much.
The party is this Friday. I'll tell you all about it in my next letter.
…
Slowly, the letters all turn to Regulus. Regulus is an amazing Seeker. Regulus told a funny joke last night. Regulus wants to meet at the Astronomy Tower tomorrow night.
Sirius crumples the letters, tossing them into the bin.
It should be him, not his brother. He's the one who knows Remus' big secret and loves him regardless. He's the one who makes Remus laugh on the bad days. He's the one who knows that Remus hates matching his socks. He does, not Regulus.
It isn't fair! If he hadn't been a Squib, he could be there. He could impress Remus and make him fallin love.
But he's just Sirius. Just a Squib. Nothing special about him. He's far too plain for Remus to ever fancy.
…
"Paris?" Lyall asks with a frown. "That's a long way, Sirius. And we'll only see you on holidays."
Sirius shrugs. "I wish to further my art education," he says simply. "It's one of the finest art academies."
"And one of the most expensive."
"I have plenty of gold from my parents over the years. I can still access it. I can do it," Sirius insists. "Please."
"You're like a son to us. And Remus loves you," Hope says softly.
"Remus will be fine. He has-" Regulus' name sticks in his throat, and Sirius feels like he's choking. "He has other friends."
…
"Are you excited?" Remus asks. "Paris! I'm actually a bit jealous."
"Yeah," Sirius says with the best grin he can manage. "It's a change, at least."
"Maybe Regulus and I can come visit you during the holidays," Remus offers.
Sirius feels the old familiar acidic churn in his stomach. "I'm not sure that I could handle it," he admits.
"Why?"
Sirius leans in, pressing a quick kiss to Remus' lips. "Be good, Remus. Be happy."
…
Sirius receives fewer and fewer letters from Remus until, finally, they stop coming.
At sixteen, he decides not to return home.
…
Remus,
Your father told me that you brought Regulus home. I'm happy for you. It hurts, but I'm still happy.
I was coward for years. I should have told you, but I chose to be a coward. I remained silent and let jealousy eat me alive.
Paris is lovely. I met a girl named Marlene. She's beautiful and smart. Really, she reminds me of you.
I think about coming home sometimes. But I don't think I can manage it. I'm still a coward, it seems. One day, maybe. When I'm braver.
Take care. Be happy.
-Sirius
…
"Is that an owl?" Marlene asks, brows raised. "In the daytime?"
Sirius recognizes Persephone in an instant. She drops a slip of parchment on the table.
Sirius,
Here are all the letters I never sent you during my silent period.
-Remus
Confused, Sirius examines the parchment. Is there more to it that he can't see? Is Remus simply telling him that he hasn't written at all over the years?
"Look!" Marlene cries, pointing at the horizon.
A second owl swoops in, dropping a large bundle of letters before Sirius. A third follows, then a fourth, until Sirius is afraid the patio table might break from the weight of all the letters.
"What is that?" Marlene asks, rising to her feet, her wide eyes on the mess of parchment.
Sirius grins. "Something magical."