Back in my Arms Again

by Angel N Darkness

Brenda returns to L.A. pregnant and alone because her husband died. Will old love find its way back? Will she let anyone help her through the guilt and pain she felt? Will Dylan make her see that it was always her and him that belonged together?

5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hehehe… So here we go with another chapter… Okay this chapter is short but everyone keeps wondering what Brenda is hiding so in this chapter it will all be revealed… This chapter has no dialogue just Brenda's thoughts… A special thanks to Agent Smurf for typing this up for me!

Disclaimer: I don't own BH 90210!

Brenda woke back up shortly after Dylan shut the door to her room. She didn't open her eyes in case Dylan came back. She wanted some time alone and to think now that she was finally done crying. She knew that before long she would probably start crying again but for as long as she could she wanted to have a clear mind.

She knew that she was going to have to tell everyone the other reason she had come home. She knew that there was no way in hell she was going to be able to keep it from them. Plus if she really thought about it she didn't want to keep it from them. She was going to need all of their support.

She let the pain she felt wash over her as she thought about Brice. She still couldn't believe that as close as they had been that she hadn't know his father was one of the most dangerous men in London. Hell she didn't know that his family was one of the most dangerous families in London.

She knew in her heart that the accident that had killed Brice hadn't really been an accident at all no matter what the authorities said. She knew that Brice had turned his back on his family because of her and that his family didn't take kindly to people wanting out of their lifestyle even if it was the son of the head member of the family. She knew that she was going to have to keep an eye out so that her and her baby would be alright.

So yes in so many ways it was her fault that Brice was dead. Not just because he was heading home from his lovers house to her but also because he gave up the lifestyle he was raised for so that he could be a good father. She knew that Brice would have given anything and everything up just to be there for their child and her even though they weren't in love. Now she just had to find the courage to keep on living. She also knew that she would have to stop blaming herself. She couldn't help but wonder if there would be a time where she wouldn't blame herself for Brice's death even just a little bit. Right now it felt like she would blame herself until the end of her days.