Chapter Eighteen

The new day dawned at approximately 8am the next day. The sun peeking over the tall skyscrapers of the city and starting to make its way ever higher, the rays shining through the densely packed buildings, bouncing off the shiny surfaces and glowing down onto the streets. The cold night air melted away, the day slowly warming and the night's events all but gone from the world and the minds of man. In a still-darkened room on the first floor of a hospital, however, the events of the past twenty-four hours still played over and over again in one man's mind. Guilt gnawing at his soul as he stared blankly at the lone figure in the bed before him. He was still. Frozen in place like a timeless accolade to the past. They both were. Neither man moving. One too lost in his thoughts to even recognise the need for movement. The other, slowly dying as his organs failed him.

Flack's skin was now almost as white as the sheets that surrounded him, the patterned colourings of the bruising faded. Every now and then would be a small area taped over with bandages, underneath a nasty blackened-purple patch that would be bloody and raw. A bandage would round his head to cover the patches on his scalp and a ventilator was secured into his mouth, giving him his last few hours of life in this world. An IV led from one of his hands to a drip at the side of the bed, providing the essential nutrients that his body would soon no longer be requiring.

Sid stared dumbly at the sight before him and didn't even blink. His mind was wracked with guilt. Had he had a hand in this himself? He had certainly been a part of Emerson's work more than thirty years ago. They had experimented together with the most outrageous of ideas, concocting strange and developmental therapies and drugs that would never have been allowed on the market for public use. If only he had known back then what kind of man Emerson was, or would become. But then again, he had known. He had always had that little voice nagging in the back of his mind, and that was why he had left. He had known something wasn't quite right, an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach was all he could recall. But if only he had said something back then...

The door opening made him jump and his eyes moved to stare at the figures entering the room. A younger man with an older. One walking and one not. One well, one tried and pale looking. Adam and Mac.

"Thank you, Adam," Mac murmured as he was pushed into the room and over to the side of the bed.

"No worries, boss-man. Think I'll go grab a coffee. See if I can find Danny," Adam replied as he hurriedly left the room.

Mac stared down at Flack, so silent, so unmoving, so...almost dead. He slowly reached out and took hold of Flack's icy hand. It pained him to be up in a chair, to not be asleep in bed but he needed to be with Flack. If this was his friend's last day on Earth then he wanted to see him. To be with him.

"Sid," Mac said as he looked across at the man sat by the window.

"Mac," Sid replied without blinking, without moving.

"When was the last time you slept?" Mac asked, noticing the lines that covered the doctor's face and the dark shadows under his eyes.

"I don't remember," Sid replied honestly.

"Jo told me that you and Hawkes worked a double shift, then you both went up to Boston, then over to Hamilton County and then you came back down here and went straight back to work at the lab," Mac said knowingly.

"You're the one who should be resting, after what you've been through. I am perfectly fine where I am," Sid replied almost curtly.

Mac watched Sid for a while but the older man made no attempt at more conversation. Mac turned his attention back to Flack. His good, brave friend, dying so another might live.

"How is he?" Mac asked.

"No improvement so far," Sid replied. Then he closed his eyes, partially to avoid more conversation with Mac, and partially to take a moment from seeing his friend, both his friends, as they currently were.

There was nothing to be done. That was it, plain and simple. No more that could be done to help Flack fight this virus that was surging through his veins and poisoning his body. He had failed, Sid knew that. He had failed and would always blame himself for the rest of eternity.

"Jo contacted his family. His parents and Grams are away in Seattle visiting family but they said they'd hurry back. I don't think she managed to find a contact for Samantha," Mac said quietly, interrupting Sid's thoughts.

"Mmm," Sid made a noise of acknowledgment, eyes still closed.

A silence pervaded throughout the room, broken only by the quiet beeping of machines and the sound of the ventilator as it pumped air into Flack's dying lungs.

"This isn't your fault," Mac said after a while as he watched Sid carefully.

Sid's eyes casually flickered open and he stared at Mac bitterly, and then his gaze moved across to Flack and his expression softened.

"I knew what he was like," Sid said, his voice plain and unemotional. "I knew what a monster he was even all those years ago, and I did nothing to stop him."

"You were just a kid back then," Mac replied. "Young and naive of the world. I can understand why you looked up to him. He has a...a certain charisma. And his basic principles are still true, if not a little flawed."

"Flawed?" Sid muttered in disgust, a wall breaking in him and his eyes staring angrily at Mac. "How many men has he destroyed in his mission to put the world to rights?"

"He recognised the fact that man will always hurt man, that there will never be peace on Earth, that warring seems almost essential to every nation's existence," Mac sighed. "Those things are true. But he went the wrong way about trying to solve them. Cutting people up, dissecting their brains, tormenting them with disease and viruses won't cure the world of anything."

"He destroyed two of my friends, Mac, and there are probably more we don't know about. When I think of how much good Chastaine and Fremont could have done with their skills and knowledge...it sickens me that they were led so far astray by him," Sid said loudly.

"Calm yourself, Sid," Mac said softly as he took a look at Flack, who hadn't moved an inch, and then back at the angry M.E.

"Sorry," Sid murmured at once as he too gazed at Flack. "I suppose I am just tired."

"How long have you been here?" Mac asked.

"Ever since I thought I'd discovered the antidote. Hawkes and Doctor Mick Fry helped and we thought we'd cracked it. It was killing the bad cells in the lab sample. So Mick and I rushed over here with it and injected it into Flack's IV. There was no time to see if it was a permanent solution. However it seems nothing has changed," Sid said bitterly.

"This isn't your fault," Mac repeated as he held onto Flack's hand tightly, his heart breaking at the thought of losing his dear friend. Flack who had been so brave he'd enabled Brody to escape unharmed as well as him. For Mac knew he would be dead if it hadn't been for Flack taking Brody's place.

"Then why do I feel like I killed him?" Sid asked earnestly, his eyes full of sorrow. "I couldn't find a cure. And now, now it's too late."

Mac choked on his words, suddenly unable to say anything to reassure his friend. It wasn't Sid's fault at all, it was Emerson's and Mengele's if you traced the evil back far enough. But the thought of losing Flack was too much to bear and Mac found his words lost before they even reached his mouth. The two fell into a strained silence again as they both stared at Flack, as thought expecting him to suddenly miraculously wake up.

"You should go home and sleep," Mac said again as Sid yawned.

"I'm not going anywhere," Sid stated firmly. "It's the least I can do to stay...I owe that poor boy that at least. If he dies, I'm going to be with him till the end."

Mac nodded and then once again they sat in silence listening to the beeping and the ventilator. The sun was higher in the sky now, and it beamed jollily in through the window, lighting the room in some sort of ethereal glow. A sign from God perhaps. Suddenly, a high pitched whine emanated from one of Flack's machines and then Mac and Sid's eyes locked together in terror as the door burst open and two nurses sprinted forth. It was time.

Danny stood not far from the edge, but far enough to be hidden from sight and felt the wind breeze through his hair. Tears still fell from his eyes but there were less of them now, as though the well that held them all was slowly drying up. He felt empty, alone and scared. He remembered this feeling well, it had been the one that had shook him to the core, the one that had sunk deep into the pit of his stomach and remained there for days afterwards, it was the one he'd been left with after Louie had died. A brother lost at the hands of evil, at the hands of a maniac who thrived on violence. And now Flack, a brother in every sense of the word, lost at the hands of evil, at the hands of a maniac who thrived on violence. Danny shut his eyes against the cold sting of the wind but didn't move. Flack was dying, he only had a few hours left until his body shut down completely and here he was, standing on the precinct rooftop, trying to ignore it all. But Danny knew that it would never work, pretending something wasn't happening had never worked for anyone in the whole existence of space and time. But he just couldn't face it. Not Flack. Anyone but Flack.

"Hey," a voice said softly behind him. "Thought I'd find you up here."

"Lindsay," Danny murmured without turning around.

"Is this your new place, hmm?" she asked as she walked closer.

"Didn't realise I even had an old one," Danny replied as another tear dribbled down his left cheek.

"Yes you did, right here," Lindsay smiled as she snaked her arms around him from behind and simply held him.

"I said that, didn't I?" Danny asked quietly as the cold wind bit into his skin, numbing his extremities, despite the sun glowing brightly in the sky.

"You did," Lindsay replied as she nuzzled against his back. "So how come you're here?"

She felt Danny choke against her and the vibration run through his back and into her arms.

"Hey," she soothed as she held him tighter.

"I can't, Linds...I just can't," Danny cried as he leant back into her and let her support him.

"Can't what, Danny?" she asked, despite the fact she knew what he meant.

"I can't see him like that, so weak and so frail. So ill..." Danny cried softly.

Lindsay nodded to herself and then hugged Danny tighter, the two of them staying like that, a moment's pause in the city that never slept, the city that never paused for thought.

"You have to say goodbye, Danny," Lindsay finally said, knowing that if he didn't her husband would regret it for the rest of his life.

"How do I do that?" Danny asked as he turned and looked into her soft, brown eyes. "How am I supposed to say goodbye to him?"

"I..." Lindsay started.

"He's my best bud, Linds," Danny carried on. "He's always been there for me. Long after Louie was and long before I ever met you. It was always Don. We did everything together, we got each other through after 9/ll. For the last ten years he's supported me no matter what fuck-ups I've made. When I shot a cop, when you found my DNA on that cigarette, when Louie died, when I...when Rikki..."

Danny found he couldn't continue, he didn't want to upset his wife by acknowledging what an asshole he'd been in the past. But that was just his point. He had been an asshole; he'd even been one to Flack most of the time. But the tall detective had never once let it bother him; he'd always stuck up for Danny at work, laughed together out of work, and held him when he cried.

"I miss him..." Danny suddenly spluttered into his wife's shoulder. He hadn't even realised he was leaning against her again.

"I know," she soothed. "We all do."

"I can't lose him, not like this. Not after the fight we had...not as well as Louie..." Danny sobbed.

"Sid thought he'd found an antidote, it might be okay," Lindsay whispered into his ear.

"But he said it hadn't worked. That Flack is getting worse. Lindsay...I don't...I can't...it just...I..." Danny lost his words as he was overcome with emotion, crying in his wife's arms.

Lindsay could only hold him there; no words of hers could make this right. The team was losing a member that was its very heart and soul, its wit and bravery. And nothing would ever be the same again.

"Danny, my phone is ringing," Lindsay murmured as she moved a step back to answer it.

Danny stared at her with red eyes, face blotchy and hair a mess. He watched as her face changed and then she stared back at him. And he knew the time had come.

Hawkes sat in the lab staring through a microscope at a sample of something he was working on. A sample of Flack's blood. He shivered at the thought of that. It didn't sit right that he was analysing a part of one of his friends. That of a man who was so much younger than himself and yet who would now never see another dawn. Life was unfair, he thought bitterly. But he'd always known that, ever since his sister had died had he known that life was unfair. And then after what had happened to his girlfriend, to a woman he'd loved but lost due to the world being such a cruel place. Well it seemed quite obvious that life was unfair. But still, it always seemed to shock. And he wasn't sure how any of them would get over losing Flack.

"Hey," Jo said as she walked in and saw him there. "I heard you were still here."

"Hey," Hawkes said without looking up.

"Hawkes?" Jo said as she came over and gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

The doctor jumped and then looked up at her.

"Oh, Jo. Hi. How long have you been there?" he asked, his brown eyes twinkling innocently.

"Just a minute," Jo replied and then sat on a stool beside him. "What you doing there?"

"Oh, just keeping an eye on this antidote that Sid formulated. It should be working; I don't understand why Flack's condition hasn't improved," Hawkes said in frustration.

"Hawkes," Jo said kindly. "We both knew that this was a long shot and so did Sid."

"But the cells were dying," Hawkes stated. "Look they still are," he said, gesturing to the petri dish he was looking at.

"That's just one tiny sample," Jo said sadly. "We have no idea how this will work in the human body and there wasn't time to find out."

"But he's gonna die!" Hawkes shouted angrily and then stood up, breathing hard.

Jo watched him for a moment in silence wondering how to calm him. Inside she was feeling just as angry and upset as he was. There was nothing any of them could do. Only Sid might have had a chance but as it turned out he simply hadn't had the time. And now one of their own would be lost.

"Sheldon," Jo murmured as she stood up and gave the doctor a hug.

"I'm sorry, Jo. It's just...I've known Flack for so long. He's a friend," Hawkes said sadly.

"I know," Jo said kindly.

"And to be a doctor...to get him out of that place... and still not to be able to help. Just to have to sit and watch as someone you love dies is heartbreaking," Hawkes mumbled.

"He'd appreciate you tried," Jo said reassuringly. "You know he would."

"I still can't believe this is happening," Hawkes replied. "That monster deserves to die. How could he even think he was helping people? And the fact he called himself a doctor!"

"Some men's minds are just warped by their own self obsession. Emerson was one of them," Jo mused.

Suddenly her phone rang and she answered it while Hawkes went back to his sample.

"Hawkes," Jo said suddenly and the doctor looked up to see she had already finished her call.

"That was quick," Hawkes said in surprise.

"Put that away," she nodded at his sample. "We need to get over to the hospital now."

Hawkes gulped as he stared back at her for a moment in shock. The time was finally upon them.

"Mac, Sid, what's happening?" Jo shouted as she and Hawkes hurried down the corridor towards the two men that were waiting outside Flack's room.

"We don't know," Mac stated, worry evident in his voice. "The machines suddenly started beeping at us and then we were herded out by the nurses."

"Doctor Caramel and Doctor Fry went in about twenty minutes ago but we've not been told anything," Sid added.

Hawkes nodded and then sat down next to Sid and took the older man's hand in his own. Sid was looking ill, he'd worked himself too hard on finding the antidote and it wasn't healthy for a man of his age to not sleep for so long. Sid looked strained, tired and thin. His eyes stood out from his face and there was no colour in it at all. Hawkes felt Sid's grasp tighten in his hand as he held it and the two doctors sat ready together. Ready for what was to come.

"Jo," Mac murmured as he held his hand out to her and she came and sat on a seat beside his chair.

"I'm here," she whispered back and placed a hand on his leg.

"This is really happening," Mac said quietly to her in disbelief.

"I'm so sorry, Mac," she replied sadly and watched as a tear fell from his eye. The normally ever stoic Mac Taylor was crying.

"What's going on?" shouted a voice down the corridor and they all looked up to see Danny, Lindsay and Adam hurrying towards them.

"I met these guys as I was coming back from the canteen. What happened?" Adam asked worriedly.

"We don't know," Jo replied as the other three men seemed too overwhelmed to speak. "The doctors have been working on him for roughly twenty minutes."

"No," Danny muttered, his lips downturned and his head shaking in objection. "NO!"

"Danny..." Lindsay said sadly as her husband started backing away down the corridor.

"No. This isn't happening. I won't accept it!" he shouted, then he turned and ran.

Adam collapsed in shock into the seat the other side of Mac as Lindsay went after Danny.

"I don't blame him," Mac murmured as he looked back at Jo.

Jo just nodded her head in agreement and then moved to the edge of her seat to be closer to him. Neither of them cared that the team was there, that they would know. It was hardly important now, not with the imminent death of one of their own.

"I'm scared," squeaked Adam as he stared at the door.

"Don't be," Mac replied as he took his hand in a gesture most unusual for himself.

"Um..." Adam said awkwardly as he looked down at Mac's hand over his own.

"Jo told me you were the one who figured out where we were," Mac said encouragingly.

"Not that it's helped," Adam said sadly, gesturing to Flack's door with his free hand.

"Nonsense, do you realise how many lives you've saved because of your work?" Mac asked. "You're a hero, Adam. And I owe you my life."

Adam stared at Mac for a moment and then felt his tears begin to fall. Partly from his boss' kind words and partly from the thought of what was about to happen as soon as the door in front of him was pulled open.

"Hey," Lindsay replied as she came back down the corridor with Danny in tow, her arm around his waist as he leant against her.

"Lindsay," Jo replied as the two Messers sat down next to her.

"This is wrong, so wrong," Danny muttered. "He shouldn't be the first, not the first."

"No, that should be me," Sid replied gaining a tight squeeze from Sheldon's hand in protest.

"His family should be here," Danny continued. "It's not right."

"They're on their way," Mac replied.

"That sick bastard will pay for this. I'll make him pay," Danny stated venomously.

"He already is," Jo said softly. "By being in jail where he belongs."

"I don't understand why this is happening," Danny cried angrily.

"Because life is unfair," Hawkes murmured in response.

"He doesn't deserve this," Danny choked.

"None of us do," Lindsay replied, hugging her husband.

"It's like a bad dream..." Danny sighed.

"Except we'll never wake up," Adam said sorrowfully.

"Ahem."

All seven of them looked up to see Doctor Caramel standing before them as two nurses and Doctor Mick Fry exited the room behind him.

"You may want to go inside now," Caramel said and then turned back into the room.

All seven members of the team quickly followed him inside. Hawkes supporting Sid as they went in first, followed by Adam who was crying silently, then Jo pushing Mac in his chair and finally Lindsay who almost had to force Danny in. They stopped just inside the room and stared down at the figure lying on the bed. Two grey-blue eyes shone back at them and a mouth that curved into the slightest of smiles upon their entrance.