Author's note:warning, this chapter is a bit angsty. Ha ha. Anyway, enjoy. Oh, and a very happy new year to everyone! Sorry this chapter took forever, I've been real busy with school. Apologies!

Matt

YES! Mello and I are roommates! What are the fucking odds of THAT? Out of all these people, I actually got roomed with Mello. I knew yesterday was a good start to a great year, I knew it; and now its proven. I was more than happy when I moved my stuff into his, our, room on Saturday morning. Mello was quite the opposite though, not that I expected anything else. The atmosphere wasn't what I was expecting either; things got awkward after 5 minutes even though I was trying my hardest to fill up all the silent gaps between us. That's when he started on the 'rule setting'. Gah, rules ruin all the fun. "Chill, Mello, I'll behave," bored of listening to this bullcrap, I cut him off halfway through the third rule. This seem to make him even angrier.

"Rule number three, don't fucking interrupt me."

I sighed. There was no getting through to this guy, was there? I guess even perfect people have their flaws, like being stubborn, or headstrong, or really bitchy. But all those just made him even sexier, so that was just fine. Damn, I could feel my stomach rumbling, and that only meant one thing: "Wanna go for lunch? I heard there's pizza today." I thought Mello would be excited; I mean, it's PIZZA, everyone loves pizza, but he didn't even budge from his position in the bed. Just stared at me with this clueless expression on his face, so I had to get him out by force. He followed me obediently, surprisingly, until we exited the stuffy room, where he pulled out of my grip roughly.

"Matt, stop fucking around."

"I'm not. It's not good to skip meals, Mello." I didn't think he'd listen to that excuse, but he actually listened to me and followed me down, albeit still frowning sourly. What a nice change of attitude for a change. And it was all going great…until we ran into Duncan. Not that I had a problem with him or whatever, it's just the little time I have with Mello outside the room, and he was starting to open up to me too, I think. I would've grabbed Mello and ran away, but Duncan already spotted us. "Oh, Duncan. Hey…" I hope that didn't sound too fake.

"Hello, Matt." Well, if I was afraid of myself sounding forced, then Duncan definitely needed to start worrying about how he sounded too. "Why are you with Mello?"

God, do I have to explain everything? "We're roomies now anyways so…"

"So you're gonna eat with him today?" I sure hope so.

"Uh—"

"Oh no, of course not! You go ahead with Duncan, Matt. I see my friends." Fuck. Mello walked off without another word, not bothering about the awkward situation he was leaving me in.

"You don't have to look so uncomfortable around me, Matt," Duncan said, hurt present in his voice.

"That's not—I'm not, Dunc."

"Good." He walked towards an empty table and set his things down, looking up at me. I guess that was my que to go over. I sat down opposite him, losing my appetite when I felt his intense gaze on me. Damn it, he can't be angry at me just cos I almost rejected him for Mello, right? I mean, I like both of them equally! I just…like Mello a little more. And wasn't that natural? Duncan knew that from the first time we ever spoke to each other so why did he seem to have a problem with it now? "I wouldn't advise you to get your hopes up, Matt," he mumbled suddenly.

I looked up, confused. He was bent over his lunch, but he wasn't touching it. "What the hell are you talking about—"

"I know you two are roommates and such, but don't expect you to end up with him. Or for him to like you. So you should really just forget about him," he replied a bit too quickly, still staring down, hunched over the table.

"Where is all this coming from, Duncan?" my eyes widened. I always knew that was true, but I didn't EVER expect to hear it from Duncan, never. My hands were starting to shake with…with pure confusion.

"I just…I just wanted to warn you, Matt…" I could tell Duncan was getting agitated to, he was speaking through gritted teeth and he wouldn't even look up at me. I didn't get it. He always seemed to encourage me with my love for Mello, so what the hell was happening. I was speechless until it finally hit me; he wanted Mello just as much as I did. He was Jealous. Jealous because I got to be with Mello 24/7 from now on and he's barely spoken one word to him. I wouldn't be surprised, lots of people in the school would be envious of my position; obviously Duncan was no exception. But if that was true, he could've just told me instead of sprouting all this shit to hurt me. If that were the case, we'd be fighting a war between ourselves, but I'd rather have heard it to my face than have him beat around the bush.

"You're jealous? Is that what this is, Duncan, jealousy?" I scoffed.

Anger flashed across his eyes as he finally turned his gaze to me. "Jealous! Why would I be jealous of Mello?!" he exclaimed. Ok, that was… not what I meant. Duncan must have seen it in my eyes or read my expression, because he seemed to realize his mistake. But the problem was, he didn't try to correct himself, he just glared at me even harder. "He…he…" he stuttered, having trouble finding something to say. "Someone like Mello will never end up with a person like you! Don't even bother, Matt," he spat, standing up. Casting one final glare at me, he left the cafeteria.

I couldn't bring myself to go after him, what was I suppose to do at this point anyway? Ask him what he meant? Why he was so pissed? Apologize? Why, I knew his words were true, sadly. I knew it long ago, from the moment I first laid eyes on Mello. But, God, I didn't need to be reminded, especially not by my supposed good friend. That's just harsh. I glanced up at the table Mello was seated at, the one filled up with the 'cool' kids, the kind Mello'd actually go for. Christ, I thought this kind of drama ended along with high school. I left for the room while Mello was still down in the canteen. I really needed to cool my head, calm down for a bit because I really think I was gonna cry any moment, no joke.

Throwing myself onto my bed, I did the best thing I could think of at the current situation; video games. They'd clear my head, or at least distract me enough for me to believe that. I wasn't expecting Mello to get back so soon though. Seems like today was full of the unexpected. *Sigh*.

"Will you turn it down? Its fucking annoying," he said halfway to his bed. That sucks; the noise was the main distracting factor. But with Mello in the room now, there's no point anyway. He stayed silent for awhile after that, not his usual silent, it was an awkward silent. Maybe he was hoping I wouldn't listen to him so we'd have something to fight about, and when that happens he can go complain to the dorm head about how we're not suited for each other. Shit, I was getting too worked up. But I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, Mello obviously hates me, rooming with me must seem like a punishment to him. He sure showed it. "Hey, uh, Matt?"

"Mm?"

"You seem kinda...gloomy."

Damn, he noticed. I thought I was doing a great job at hiding it. Well, I can't exactly tell him what happened, can I? "Aw, you care?"

"Wh-what? No, you moron. It was a bit too quiet so I thought something happened to you," he mummured.

"Hah, so you do care! Well, since you're so worried, I'll clear your little head. I'm just too engrossed in my game, that's all." He 'tsked' irritatedly and placed his hands on his narrow hips.

"Uh, whatever. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be going out later, so you'll be alone." I nodded slightly. There was nothing else I could do; though I really did not want to be alone tonight. But no amount of crying and begging I did would convince him to stay in, I knew that. And I'd appreciate a little alone time anyway. The atmosphere in the room was unusually tense, not to mention awkward. It was broken, though, when Nick knocked on the door.

"Mello, it's Nick."

"Yeah, coming," Mello shouted back, but he didn't sound as enthusiastic as I expected. Maybe he didn't want to leave. Maybe he wanted to stay with me tonight…Argh, forget it. There's no point thinking of such things; I knew it wasn't true. "Er, you gotta wait awhile!" He hopped off his bed as Nick shouted back a response. Taking his shirt off, he bent over to the closet to get out a suitable shirt. I stared, naturally. I couldn't help it, you can't blame me! Well, perhaps I was staring A BIT too obviously cos Mello noticed. No point trying to hide it now. I continued staring, more cheekily this time. "Mind turning away?" he mumbled, though I'm sure we both knew what the answer would be.

I nodded, a grin forming on my face. "How could I miss such a brilliant opportunity?" He sucked in a large amount of air, like he was trying not to get angry. But instead of retaliating, he just took off his pants and continued changing. He bent down real low to the bottom drawer of the dresser to get his pants out and I almost came right there and then. Hot damn, that was a fucking nice view. "Damn, so Nick gets to see this every day?" I whistled. He was a lucky guy, that Nick. ANYONE would kill to be in his position; I am no exception. Mello whipped his head around to stare straight at me, narrowing his eyes.

"What. The hell are you talking about?" Playing dumb won't help you here, Mello. Everyone already knows 'your little secret'. I shrugged and flipped myself over, enjoying the upside down view of him.

"Nothing, nothing."

"I'm sure," he said, running his hands down his front. He stared into the mirror for awhile before announcing his leave. I didn't know how much I wanted him to stay until he said that, like all my emotions were triggered with that one sentence. I almost stretched out my hand to grab him, but I held myself back, thankfully. The door swung open to reveal a very excited Nick, who smiled warmly. He pushed his way into the room and waved at me.

"Hey, guys. Oh, Matt, wanna come with us?" he surprised me with the sudden invitation, and Mello looked pretty stunned too. "It's just a little gathering, and some guys you know'll be there, you'll fit right in!" I weighed out my options in my head; if I declined the offer, I'd have to spend the rest of the long night alone with only my video games to entertain me. Of course, that wouldn't have been a problem before I met Mello, but it seems like ever since he stepped into my dull life, it'd opened my eyes to a few thing I'd been seriously missing out on; like social interaction. But then again, would it be awkward if I went? Maybe it would turn out like Scott's party, maybe it would turn out like all the other parties I've ever been too. Though, maybe it wouldn't…

Mello was giving me a serious death glare, daring me to accept, and I guess that was when I made up my mind. "Why, Nick, I'd LOVE to go. Thanks for the invite!" I replied, following them out the door. A pissed off Mello walked ahead of both of us, mumbling angrily to himself. Man, he hated this that much?
Nick must've noticed my crestfallen face cos he turned to me. "Don't mind him, he's like that." Easy for him to say; he's not the one being hated. Out of courtesy, I smiled back. We reached the guy's dorm room, and it turned out to be some dudes from one of my classes. They gave most of their attention to Mello, but they were really friendly to me too. Huh, maybe tonight will go along better than expected. Mello pulled Nick away so I was left alone with everyone else who kept forcing drinks on me. The stuff was pretty strong too, made me really dizzy.

"Come on, Matt. Drink!" they kept saying. Seems like everyone was trying their best to get wasted, or at least just a little bit drunk, that is, everyone except Mello. Yeah, I wasn't anywhere near him, but I still kept looking at him. Shit, what was wrong with me? I really needed to, or at least TRY, to forget about him. But all the alcohol was getting to my head, and I couldn't really think straight anymore. I was so afraid I would just walk over to Mello and embarrass myself, so I had to find something (or someone) to distract myself with. I looked around the messy room, across the floor and my eyes finally landed on a figure by the couch. I walked over to it and saw an awfully familiar face staring up at me.

"Heyyy, you're…Mick?" he hiccupped, giving me a silly grin.

"It's—it's Matt…" I replied, taking the empty spot next to him.

"Oh, yeah~ I'm Mark."

Oh, yes. That was the guy that…oh…I stared at him hard, feeling jealousy bubble in my chest. He was oblivious and continued sipping at his plastic cup. "Tell me, Mark," I leaned forward. That caught his attention and he turned to me.

"Hmm?"

"How was it like?" Shit, what was happening to me?

"What?"

"How was it like fucking Mello?" What the fuck was I saying? It was the alcohol, the beer. I would've have asked that out loud if I was sober!

Mark's face grew red as he gaped at me, not answering.

"Really, I wanna know. Was it good?" I gave him a predatory smirk and he seemed to slink further into the sofa.

"I don't know..."

"Don't be shy. Just be honest here. I won't eat you."

"You-"

Suddenly, someone started clinking a spoon against a glass to get our attention. We spun our heads towards where he was standing on a table. He looked like he was about to say something until someone else shouted:"lets play truth or dare!" There was grunt throughout the room, but no one objected; probably all to drunk to. Instead, they started to form a circle on the floor. I spotted Mello getting down beside Luke and pushed through the crowd to get beside him. He frowned when I sat next to him but didn't say anything.

"Hey Mello..."

"You smell like alcohol," he wrinkled his nose.

"You smell like strawberries," I mumbled, burying my face in his ear. Crap where was I getting all this confidence from?

He pushed me away roughly and turned to Luke, grabbing him by the collar and kissing him hotly. I wish he knew how much that hurt me. Well, actually I'm sure he was only doing that because he KNEW I couldn't stand it. Tsk. Even after they broke apart, Luke was still all over him. I couldn't just sit back and take it all in! So I joined in. Mello looked pretty pissed at both of us and attempted (but failed miserably) to push us away. I slid my hand under his shirt while kissing his ear, moving down his neck. Luke, not wanting to lose out, let his hands roam over Mello's legs and thighs, straying a little higher until Mello finally had enough. "Can someone spin the goddamn bottle and start the fucking game!"

"Well since you're so eager, why don't you start off, Mello?" one of his short friends spoke up. Everyone looked anticipatingly at him.

"Fine, fine. Truth," he sighed.

"Losing your virginity!" Chuck exclaimed immediately, like he had that question planned all along. "We want the details!"

A slight blush tainted Mello's cheeks as he diliberated whether he should answer. Everybody got even more excited and leaned forward to hear everything.

"Ok, fine. Since you guys wanna know so badly," he began, "Here's how it went. When I was 14, I had a roommate. I think his name was Noah. And…well, you know." An awkward silence followed afterwards, probably cos everyone was trying to picture the scene in their heads.

"How did he look like?"

"Um, kind of brown-orangey hair and brown eyes. Pretty cute."

"What kind of person was he?"

"He was quite a nice guy. Popular…smart?"

I cleared my throat. "Uh, he was your…roommate." He nodded. "How did things turn out between both of you after that?"

"We didn't start dating, if that's what you meant. We just carried on as usual until he migrated to Australia." Of course that's what happened. God, what was i expecting. And you heard him; the guy, Noah, he was cute, smart, popular. Seemed a lot like the type Mello'd go for in an instant. Not some dopey old gamer like me. Duncan was right, sadly, so right. I should forget about it, all of it. And the only way I knew how? I drank. Can after can; I wanted to forget about my feelings, I wanted to forget about my life, I wanted to forget that Mello was beside me, watching me the whole time. I wanted to forget.

It'd be much easier that way.