I placed the last journal on the shelf and wiped the sweat from my face. Sitting back on the couch thankful that all the boxes were unpacked. It had only been two weeks since I agreed to move in with Chloe but we were okay again and that thought made me calm down when I began stressing about how big of a step this was. Chloe was still at work and I didn't take the alone time for granted. Swiftly I got up and finished the beer sitting on the table, tossing the empty bottle in the trash. Flipping the lid off another one before I sank back into the oversized couch. My phone buzzed loudly resting on the coffee table next to the photo album I found at my brother's months back.
"Stopping to get something for dinner, do you need anything?" I smirked to myself as I read Chloe's text.
"Beer? Kissing? You? Not in that order! Hurry home (;" I hit send before propping my feet up on the couch and closing my eyes trying to take in the moment. Home was the last word that floated into my head before I drifted to sleep.
"What do you mean you don't KNOW what you did with it?" My voice squeaked as I stared at my girlfriend in disbelief. She sank further into the wall on the opposite side of the room. Chloe had the look of a small child being scolded and a puppy that had just been kicked. "I can't believe you Chloe!" Tears assaulting my eyes as I shook with rage. I'd never raised my voice like this. Sure we'd had fights but I'd never actually SCREAMED at her before. I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to find my grounding. Chloe was crying quietly now and I sighed as I closed the gap between us. "It's okay Chlo. I'm sorry babe. It's just a stupid necklace anyways." She sobbed harder as I tried to comfort her.
"No Beca! It's not some stupid necklace. It's the most important thing I own." Her eyes flooded with pain. She hiccupped and I couldn't help but laugh. "Stop." She whined as I twisted my arm around her and pulled her into my chest. "I never take it off. The one time I did I lose it." She sighed heavily as we both thought about the silver necklace with the pendant of compass rose on it. "You guide me home." She quoted it from memory. I smiled into her red curls.
"I'll just get you a new one Chlo." Feeling guilty now that I had freaked out so bad. "I'm sorry, I'm just stressed out and when I came back to the house and saw you weren't wearing it I panicked. I thought you were breaking up with me and I really can't handle that." Chloe pulled back her eyes swollen from crying.
"Beca Mitchell, are you kidding me?" Anger filling her voice. "You think I'd fucking leave you?" Now it was I who shrank away in fear. She stood up flailing her arms and yelling about how stupid and naïve she thought I was being, something about how were we ever going to last after college if I was so insecure about her leaving me. This stung and as soon as the words left her mouth she turned to me with a slacked jaw. "Beca I didn't mean that!" I scrambled to my feet and ran out the door leaving Chloe in the hallway yelling after me. I scrambled upstairs to the loft I shared with Amy. I slammed the door and heard a house full of groans from the other Bellas. When the door opened Stacie walked in with a blanket wrapped around her and a pint of ice cream. She sat on the edge of the bed until I sat and pulled my knees to my chest and took the ice cream. She rambled on about some guy she met at a party last week and then asked if I thought Cynthia Rose was into her. I ignored her question kind of in a daze. When the door creaked open I saw the redhead emerge from the dark hallway. "Can I talk to you?" Stacie looked back at me and grabbed the ice cream before running out the door giggling. I lifted my hands in defeat still holding the spoon. "Beca please look at me." I did as she asked because I couldn't ever tell Chloe no. Which I hated more than anything. "Can we just… forget all this happened?" When I didn't respond she smiled pathetically. "I have something for you." I looked at her unsure of what to say and noticed her necklace safely in its place. She handed me a small blue box and a letter. "Don't read that right now okay. Just… next time you're afraid I'm going to leave. Open the box." I flipped the lid open and took in the sight of a silver ring. Pulling it out to examine it closer I could see little music notes engraved on it. "You are my home." She said as I struggled to read the inside. The signature Chloe Beale smile lit up her face before she spoke again. "It's made out of titanium. I figured you don't wear a lot of jewelry and you lost your thumb ring when we had to change that flat tire on the way back from the airport at ICCAs because Amy ran over that board with the nails in it." She laughed loudly as I placed it on my thumb. Still completely speechless I just kept blinking at her. "Can I stay?" She asked innocently, I nodded and pulled the blankets back so she could climb in next to me.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I admitted bluntly as I lay there with her head on my chest. She hummed in happy approval as we fell asleep at the same time.
I rolled over on the couch and pulled the blanket up to my chin. Blinking when I realized I hadn't fallen asleep with a blanket on. The sound of an acoustic guitar floated effortlessly through our home, moments later Chloe's unmistakable voice joined it. I blinked again wondering when she learned to play the guitar. I laid there silently wanting to know what song it was that was tugging at her heart strings.
"May these words be the first
To find your ears
The world is brighter than the sun
Now that you're here
Though your eyes will need some time to adjust
To the overwhelming light surrounding us."
It was a song that I had never heard befoe but so far I liked it. Knowing that the original version wouldn't sound half as beautiful as Chloe's did. The acoustics in our apartment reminded me of the moment we sang together for the first time in the dorm showers. Chloe executed each chord and strum perfectly and my heart filled with pride listening.
"I'll give you everything I have.
I'll teach you everything I know,
I promise I'll do better.
I will always hold you close,
But I will learn to let you go.
I promise I'll do better.
I will soften every edge.
I'll hold the world to its best,
And I'll do better.
With every heartbeat I have left
I will defend your every breath,
And I'll do better."
My throat grew dry as I felt the compassion in Chloe's voice settle in my ears. This was probably the most beautiful piece that I had ever heard her sing.
"'Сause you are loved;
You are loved more than you know.
I hereby pledge all of my days
To prove it so.
Though your heart is far too young to realize.
The unimaginable light you hold inside."
I peaked over the back of the couch to the open bedroom door, Chloe's back was facing me as she stummed the intrument. I slowly stood and leaned against the door frame. Watching as Chloe sang and played with her eyes closed. The angle of the mirror lighting her features perfectly.
"I'll give you everything I have,
I'll teach you everything I know.
I promise I'll do better,
I will always hold you close.
But I will learn to let you go.
I promise I'll do better.
I will rearrange the stars,
Pull 'em down to where you are.
I promise, I'll do better.
With every heartbeat I have left
I'll defend your every breath.
I will soften every edge.
Hold the world to its best.
With every heartbeat I have left.
I'll defend your every breath."
I stood there as she played out the last chord; shaking my head in complete awe. "When did you learn to play?" I asked after a short moment.
"Jesus Beca!" Chloe jumped off the bed clutching her heart. "I learned in LA. I guess I kind of fell in love with it because it made me feel closer to you." She put the guitar down against the wall and walked over to me, snaking her arms around my waist and pressing her forehead into mine. "I'm sorry if I woke you up." She whispered, her lips hovering above mine.
"No, that was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced." Chloe pulled back at the sound of my words. Searching my face for something.
"It's Light by Sleep at Last." She finally muttered staring at my lips. "It's my favorite song because…" She trailed off, her eyes said she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell me or not.
"Tell me?" I pleaded wanting to know the story behind it.
"I heard it on one of my music apps on my way home from work one day when I was living in LA. I rushed home and packed everything I had. And drove back here to you. I heard it again the night I went to your brother's. I heard from Stacie that Jared was throwing a party. I knew you'd be there. I sat in his driveway listening to it before I went inside to find you. I just think of you… I feel you in here. When I hear it." She pointed to her heart. I kissed her lips and smiled at the taste of strawberry gum and gummy bears. I pushed her back on the bed and sat criss cross in front of her.
"I have some news." I admitted not even attempting to hide the pride in my voice. She propped herself up on her elbows. I rolled my eyes at the butterflies in my stomach. "We're expanding the radio station. Which means new equimpemnt and a recording studio." I paused waiting for it to click in Chloe's head. Rolling my eyes again when it didn't. "We're becoming a production studio meaning…" I wanted Chloe to figure it out.
"Beca! No way!" She jumped up into a sitting position, her face lighting up like fireworks. Her eyes narrowed. "Are you serious?!" The excitement rolling of her skin.
"Dixie Chicks serious." We both laughed at the Aubrey Posen quote. "But…" Her eyes narrowed even more as she waited for me to finish my sentence. "I have to go pitch this stupid idea to one of our investors in LA." Chloe's expression saddened quickly at the thought of me going to LA. "It's supposed to be this huge like four or five-day thing. Private jet, chuffer, penthouse suit type thing. Fancy black tie event and some other music type things." I stopped again debating on how to ask her if she would like to come. "Do you golf by chance?" She smiled and shook her head. "I didn't think so, neither do Stacie or Aubrey though. So I guess you all can just go to make CR, Jesse and I look good. Give us something to show off and brag about. What do you say?" She was staring with her mouth ajar. "Chloe Beale, will you please make me the luckiest woman to ever exist and accompany me to this amazing weekend?" She didn't speak but pulled my face into her own and kissed me passionately. I panted as we pulled apart for air. "In that case I got you something." I stretched over to the nightstand pulling out a little blue box, removing a necklace identical to her old one from the it's container. She sat extremely still as I removed the chain from her neck and put the new one there. Her eyes watching as I carefully removed the engagement ring from the silver chain. "Now, I'm not purposing. Not yet anyways. I thought it would look funny if you were walking around with a diamond ring on your neck and not your finger. I don't want anyone thinking that you aren't mine or something." I slipped the ring on her finger with a serious expression on my face. Feeling like tornados were twisting in my stomach. Tears in her eyes as she lifted the necklace from her neck. "Stacie said that your last one broke when you guys were at the beach and you couldn't find it, so I replaced it." Chloe blushed.
"I got you something also. I was going to wait until Christmas." Chloe turned to her own nightstand and removed a matching blue box. I was confused with her sentence knowing Christmas was over six months away. "It's simple, not an engagement ring but more like a promise ring." She paused before slipping it onto my ring finger. "It says I believe in you on the inside." A detailed arrow was engraved on the outside and I bit my lip as I stared at it. "This is my promise to never leave you Beca Skylar Mitchell. No matter how hard it gets. No matter how frustrating you are. No matter how moody and dark you become. I promise to give you everything I have. I will teach you everything I know. I promise I'll do better." The sound of Chloe singing flooded my memory. "You're my home." Chloe added before kissing my cheek. "Umm- on a less serious note." She said as she twisted her long thick curls into a messy bun. "I invited a few people over for dinner and drinks." Her eyes glistened in the soft bedroom lighting. "I hope that's okay." Chloe was always so thoughtful. I nodded and panic rose quickly when I realized what a mess I had made of the living room unpacking this afternoon. I ran out to the space and skidded to a stop when I realized the apartment was spotless, the picture frames full of the Bellas and Chloe and I were now hung on the walls and all of our records had been neatly placed on the shelves below the record player. "You were snoring so I knew that I could be as loud as I needed. When you sleep like that you could sleep through a nuclear war or something." Her face full of love as she took my hand in her own. "Plus, it's adorable as hell when you make those cute faces as you dream." I felt my face burn with a deep blush.
"You're such a weirdo." I laughed loudly and leaned in to kiss her. My attention quickly pulled away at the sound of the door swinging open.
"Stacie! You can't just barge in like that What if they were getting nasty on the couch or something?" Cynthia whined as her wife pulled her into the open room, Cynthia covering her own eyes with her free hand.
"It's not like I haven't seen Chloe's bare ass before. Or Beca's boobs for that matter. How many times did ALL the Bellas walk in on them? And in the most disturbing places." Chloe beamed as Stacie spoke, my blush growing darker and Cynthia just shaking her head trying to clear the images out of her head. "Remember that one time that all of us went to that movie festival at Barden and we came back to the house to find Chloe laying on the island in the middle of the kitchen and Beca was face first between her legs? Oh! Beca I wish I could have caught your face on camera." My mouth dropped at the blunt reality of my best friend's voice.
"Whoa, that's enough story time for tonight! Who wants a beer?" CR changed the subject to my relief. I rushed into the kitchen and pulled a few bottles out. "I brought cards. Where is everyone?" She looked around the otherwise empty apartment.
"Posen and Swanson were leaving the store a few minutes ago. Something about picking up food since I guess Aubrey thinks that none of us realize that a liquid diet isn't healthy." Stacie offered. "Who else did you invite?" She looked to Chloe now.
"Ashley and Jessica. They'll be here shortly." She pulled her phone from her pocket and swiped the screen open. "Allison and Kelsie are walking up the stairs now and Amy and Bumper can't make it but they said they'll be over for the next one." As she finished her sentence the door flew open and all of the missing friends walked in together.
"Does anyone not care about privacy around here?!" CR threw her hands in the air dramatically. Stacie leaned in to whisper something to Chloe who burst out laughing so hard her eyes teared up. "You didn't just say what I think you did!" CR shot a menacing glare at her lovely wife who just shrugged in return. Everyone greeted each other with hugs and cheek kissing. Even though I knew each and every one in this room on a very personal level I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Allison and Kelsie were completely entranced in telling a story about some surfing expidition they went on and I took the chance to sneak away. Silently closing the door the bedroom behind me I sat on the edge of the bed focused on nothing but my ragged breathing. I didn't hear the door open or close again.
"Hey Mitchell. Are you okay?" The tall blonde sat next to me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. I almost laughed as I thought about my first year at Barden and how Aubrey Posen had seemed to make it her life mission to ruin mine. I stared at the ring on my hand and counted to ten in my head before responding. If Chloe trusted Aubrey with her life I know I could also, besides the woman didn't give up on me and she sure didn't walk out when everything blew up all those months ago.
"I'm just a little overwhelmed. I know you all. You're more of a family to me than you could ever realize. Stacie is my best friend; Jesse is pretty up there also. I've known Allison since I was fifteen and you wouldn't believe the debt I owe her metaphorically speaking. Kelsie has been around almost as long. Jessica and Ashley are like those annoying clingy little sisters and Cynthia is well… Cynthia. Then there's Chloe. She's my everything. And I have you." I looked sideways at the blonde who understood what I was trying to say without forcing me to actually say the words. I appreciated that more than I think she knew. "I remember it all." I smiled slightly because it felt good to no longer live in completely confusion on what thoughts were real and not.
"We all love you. Remember that, even if it's in our own stupid ways. We also understand and we don't want to make the night stressful. Just have some fun and relax. No pressure from anyone." Her words were kind and I leaned into her as a way to say thank you. "Okay aca-bitch enough of the mush. Let's go." She stood grinning ear from ear and I couldn't fight back a small smile as I followed her to the group. Which had now made a circle in the living room around a bottle of whiskey. Everyone turned to me expectantly as I sat beside Chloe. Her eyes shifted quickly from me to the yellow cup on the table. My eyes narrowed as I looked at each face in the group.
"No." I said flatly. Everyone seemed displeased before Chloe slid off the arm of the chair into my lap.
"Maybe if we get her to drink enough." She offered the thought playfully and the conversation turned into an argument about what card game to play.
"I think Beca has some news to tell everyone. Well, I guess to tell half of us." Chloe chimed a few hours into the gathering. Everyone seemed to be pleasantly drunk and full of munchies at this point in time and all of my nerves had banished completely. I smiled widely with pride and love filled my chest with the support my girlfriend seemed to radite.
"So, first and fore most. The radio station is expanding and becoming a record label/production office." I paused for a moment and grinned at Jesse who was staring excitedly. "Meet the new finance cordinater." I pointed in his direction. Gaining gasps and awes from the group. "We're flying out to LA soon to pitch an idea to one of our investors. Not only are we going to be showing him plans for the new place but also getting his approval to host the music festival at the end of summer." I smiled again feeling satisfied.
"Beca! Tell them the rest." Jesse shouted drunkenly in my direction. "It's the best part." He whispered too loud in Aubrey's ear.
"While I'm there, I'm going to be announcing the charity that my family is opening. For research and treatment causes for those who have suffered brain trauma and memory loss. I'm hoping that it will be a great place to gain some respectable donations and launch something that can help people in need. Not just the victims but also the other people it affects." I turned to face Chloe and gauge her reaction which seemed to be a mix between excitement and utter love. "It will help those around the victims by providing therapy and other resources on how to handle the situation in a healthy and correct manner." I choked on the last sentence as it came out but took a big gulp of the beer in my hand to hide the moment. "Jesse, Aubrey, Stacie and Cynthia Rose will be coming with Chloe and I for a few days to experience it all with us because if it wasn't for them I don't know where I'd be right now. Actually if it wasn't for all of you." I corrected myself quickly, my voice ringing with pure honesty.
"To Beca!" Jessica shouted practically tripping over Ashley's leg as she jumped up thrusting her beer in the air. The whole group shouted eagerly in response. I smiled as Aubrey's eyes locked on mine. Remembering her words from earlier that night.
"No I think we need to toast to Chloe Beale. If it wasn't for her I would have never joined the Bellas or the world of acapella and I would never have been given the chance to meet any of you nerds." Chloe leaned into me and kissed my cheek. "This is just the beginning." I whispered to the redhead, fully believing it in my heart yet still so unaware what that statement meant.