Chapter Twenty-Seven
Six Years Ago
At ten years old, there wasn't much that Hinata Shouyou didn't like, everything was interesting and still new, a lot of it was even beautiful. Natsu, his almost year old sister, was especially beautiful, people even called her princess sometimes when they were shopping. He knew that Natsu wasn't a real princess, real princesses didn't throw rice and plastic cups, real princesses didn't scream until their faces were red and veins started bulging from their skin. That didn't stop Natsu from living in a castle, they even lived on top of a mountain.
The mountain didn't make their home special, it was the sights around it that made Shouyou so partial to it. If the mountain could provide them with this sight, then he would gladly invite the mountain to stay with them forever. Miss Sato said that mountains didn't like tea, the mountain said that it didn't like Miss Sato. He was inclined to agree.
Exploring was his life, something to fill the emptiness when he wasn't at school with his friends, the mountain showed him things that he liked when there was nobody around. He liked birds, even if they were kind of scary, one bird even had eyes that glowed the same as his hair. Shouyou liked that bird, he wasn't sure what the bird thought of him, just stared at him with bright orange eyes.
"Hoo." Called the bird.
"Hoo." Shouyou called back.
The bird blinked, he mimicked that too. He stared at the bird, returning its calls whenever it opened its beak. Owl, Miss Sato had told him, he liked owls. Owls were big and only opened their eyes at night, he thought that was really cool, he stayed up with the bird, wondering if it was scared of the dark or if it really liked the dark. He liked the dark, the stars came out during the dark. The owl didn't look up at the stars, just him, with big, reflective orange eyes.
He stayed with the owl all night the first time they met, helping the winged animal conquer its fear, because nobody should be scared of the dark. Miss Sato had yelled at him the next morning when she found him, he told her about the bird, with expansive wings and dirty white feathers. She didn't care about the bird, but her attention was pulled away from him when Natsu started screaming. Miss Sato released his arms, and he sat back down, staring at the empty nest, wondering when the owl, his friend, would return.
Mister Owl, as Shouyou had named it, had returned when the sun set that evening. Mister Owl did not stay long, he spread his big, dirty wings and swooped into the pitch black of the night; Shouyou wanted to join him, fly over giant trees and stare down at the glowing earth.
Flowers took up his time when Mister Owl was missing, there was something weird about flowers, some of them mimicked his hair, bright orange and curly. Others were too red to look at for long, but that didn't stop him from touching them. He stroked over the awkward edges, they squished under his fingers. He didn't like the flowers as much as he did Mister Owl, they didn't call to him, nor stare at him with big, friendly eyes. A lot of them had bugs crawling over them. He hated bugs. They were so crawly and strange, even if they did make him feel like a mountain when compared in size. He wondered if there were flowers living in his hair, or a big owl that would hoo if he listened closely.
Wanting an answer to his question, he raced into the house, avoiding the too close counter the in walkway. Shouyou wanted his dad, or his mom, but neither were to be found; he needed an answer, but only Miss Sato and Natsu were home, both of them sitting at the table, both of them quiet. He approached, wondering if Miss Sato would find his parents if he asked nicely, she didn't look up at him. Water was flicking off her chin, tears, he's not sure why Miss Sato was crying when Natsu wasn't.
"Miss Sato?" He asked quietly, half hoping that she wouldn't hear him and he could just sneak outside to wait for Mister Owl. She flinched when he spoke, and her chin cocked up right after, she stared at him with eyes that matched Natsu's almost perfectly. "Where are mom and dad?" He asked as politely and formally as he could manage, almost yelled when she didn't answer his question. He was being nice, the least Miss Sato could do is return the gesture and answer his question.
"They're at the hospital, Shouyou." He didn't like the way Miss Sato used his given name, it was supposed to be special, something only friends could use. Miss Sato wasn't his friend, she was mean. He almost griped at her when he remembered what he said, tried to calm himself down. "Are they sick?" His voice was screeching like Mister Owls, it made Natsu squirm in their caretaker's arms. Miss Sato glared at him for a moment for almost waking Natsu, but he wanted to know, his parents never got sick!
"They had an accident." She spoke quietly, firm enough not to be a whisper. Shouyou frowned at her words, recalling the last time he had an accident. Falling off his bike, going in the bed when he was sleeping, dropping his cup and the shattering making his legs bleed. "Accident?" He asked, because there were no bikes or beds or cups to be seen. Miss Sato made a weird noise when he asked that, then another, then her tears started falling faster, right onto Natsu's pajamas.
"Yuuki- Your dad... He's dead." Shouyou knows about dead. Dead gave Mister Owl food. Make flowers uncomfortable. "Okay." Miss Sato stared at him, and more tears fell onto his baby sister's shoulder. Dead was bad. Dead could be fixed, flowers come back all the time. He just has to sleep and they start getting fixed. The mountain showed him that, showed him that flowers came back if he waited. He just has to fall asleep.
All he has to do is wake up.
"Wake up, Hinata." His dad never called him by their family name before, just Shou-chan -Shouyou when he was mad- and nothing else. "Hinata." He didn't like it, prepared to tell his dad that his name was Shouyou. "Hinata." Louder, firmer, deeper. Not my dad. He opened his eyes.
Daichi was leaning over him, tan skin looking oddly nice in the morning light through the window. He was in Daichi's bed. He wasn't on the mountain. His dad was dead. Hinata swallowed hard, closed his eyes because he would cry if he wasn't strong. Accident. "I'm sorry." Accident. He should have stopped his dad from leaving, told him to stay with Natsu and not be dead. Accident. He should have done something. Accident. He should have been strong.
"It's okay." A voice that wasn't his dad's spoke, sounding half amused. His dad had the same tone when he had left, disregarding his question on Mister Owl. It's just a bird, Shouyou, birds don't like people. "Yes, they do." He gasped, wondering if the lava in his throat was coming down or going up. Neither, it settled there, making him suffer until he cried out. Wondered when it got so hard to breathe. Panic attack. He realized, but couldn't reach the pills, or his dad, or Kenma. Hinata cried, the tears rolling down his cheeks and leaving a trail of fire down his cheeks. "I'm sorry." He croaked to nobody, to himself, to his dad. Nobody answered, but the burning continued, pressured his body until he could feel his ribs start to crush.
"Dad." Hinata Yuukio. He hated that name. He loved that name. It made him weak and sad and happy, never strong. He was not strong. "Dad." He called out, asking for strength he would never have because his dad was dead. Accident. He should have stopped him, but he wasn't strong. He took Natsu's dad away because he wasn't strong.
"Hinata?" Daichi was back, was the weight on his chest that he had imagined. "I can't breathe." He hissed out, and the weight was half gone, but still close and still warm. "Help me." Because I'm not strong, but there was nothing to be done, he had stopped breathing because he wasn't strong. What was left of his vision was blurred with black dots, he was reminded to Mister Owl's murky feathers. Choked on a laugh that wasn't his. Wasn't strong enough for a bird. His hands were shaking where they had latched onto Daichi's shirt.
"Where are your pills?" Pills couldn't stop dead. Pills couldn't bring Natsu her dad back. Pills couldn't make him strong. He choked on his next empty inhale, hoo his throat mocked into the air in front of him. He wrenched one of his hands off of Daichi's shirt, it shook harder when there was nothing to grasp it, pointed his finger towards his bag uselessly. The pills wouldn't fix his family. Weak. Freak. Whore. He curled his shaking limbs into each other when Daichi's heat escaped him, ignored the unzipping of his bag, the rattle of too orange bottles. Mister Owl, he called in his head, but there was no screech in return.
Rough fingers pulled at his lips, pushing in gritty stones that his throat but did not go down. Heat cradled his neck, massaging with softness the weak don't deserve until his throat convulsed under it. Submitting. The stones hit his stomach, could feel them like lead had settled in his intestines. Fear had taken his vision from him and was working on making his lungs collapse. He fell into black heat and waited to see light, waiting for the rest of him to fade.
It happened slowly, could feel the emptiness in his breathing and was so, so sure it would have ended. The heat against him was great to be of this world but his eyes opened and familiar space blurred in front of him. His hands trembled in the heat that had swelled over his body. "Hinata." Not-his-dad called, the voice trembled like his fingers did. He blinked, and some of the blur turned into focused patches. Did it again. "Daichi." He whispered, voice hoarse and scratchy. Cleared his throat, tried again. "Daichi?" A question, why was he here, where was his dad?
"Are you okay? You blacked out for a second." It took him a small eternity to find meaning in those words, "Daichi." He answered, then there was humming, like the bugs he hated. He felt small instead of large now. A hill instead of a mountain. "I'm okay." He lied, and the humming ceased, but he didn't grow or shrink.
"How's your breathing?" That seemed like a stupid question, but since he was trembling and grasping onto someone he supposed he could afford to be asked stupid questions. "Fine." He answered, that much was true, drew in a breath for proof. "Fine." Exhaled into tanned skin. "Do you know why?" He's not sure why anything is, birds don't like people. Daichi wasn't an owl. "Just a nightmare." He admitted quietly, allowed to feel shame because he could feel now that he could breathe.
"Want to talk about it?" He did not. Shook his head into hard skin. "Why did you wake me?" He wanted to be mad, wanted to see his dad again but he couldn't be mad at Daichi, the older man had offered him safety without knowing the consequences. "You were screaming." That explains the lava searing into his throat. "Sorry." He offers without explanation, feels Daichi's chin bump into his head as he nods. "Want to work today?" He snorts, finding it somehow not annoying that Daichi would ask him that after he had just screamed the other boy awake. Finds himself nodding.
"Then get dressed." He doesn't remember getting undressed, or even changing into a t-shirt with unfamiliar boxers, but nods mutely and pulls away from Daichi's heat. Doesn't look up at the older boy, but can feel his gaze, just as hot as his body until he could feel his head start to sear, forcing him to glance up. Daichi's eyes are wet, dark brown like too familiar trees. "Sorry." He offers, because the strong do not weep. His captain smiles down at him, then a hot hand is settled on his shoulder, "You can't help it." He thinks that's supposed to make him feel better. It doesn't.
Nods anyway, a bottle is offered back to him, it rattles in his shaking hand. "Thanks." He gives without meaning, he doesn't want this. Daichi says nothing and exits the room with a bundle of fabric that reminds him to change. He grabs his big, tosses the bottle back into it, and picks up something that isn't clothing. He debates opening his eyes as his fingers glance over sharp edges, does it despite all the reasons not to. "Natsu." He gasps out even when there is air in his lungs, stares at the orange hair through wrinkled paper. Tugs at his blackened bangs, wondering if his dad- throws the picture back into the bag.
"Never, ever." He promises, never think about him. He doesn't need him, because even if he did, he couldn't be there. Tugs on shorts barely longer than his boxers, and grabs Daichi's jacket. Animal Crossing, is heavy in his pocket until he puts that in the bag too, Mister Owl is too familiar and the temptation to drown in a realm similar to his childhood is too frightening for him. Zips up the black material, ignoring the breeze he knows exists from memory and slides out of Daichi's room.
He tries not to stare at his captain when they're both tugging on their shoes, tries not to imagine what things he screamed when he kicks his toes into snugness. Shouldn't. He shouldn't ask, because Daichi's answers would be things he wouldn't want to know, and they couldn't be taken away. Hinata walks through the door when Daichi opens it, ignores the gaze that follows him with a too familiar sensation. Rubs at his eyes to dull the burn of a too bright sun, and trips over the steps. He doesn't curse, even if he wants to. Natsu shouldn't hear those words, even if she wan't around to hear them.
Looking back at Daichi is a mistake, because he's about to say that he's okay, but his eyes land onto something not Daichi. "Suga!" His captain's voice screams, breaking and sounding like shattering glass. Hinata jumps to his feet, approaching the figure he had just tripped over. "Suga-san!" He echoes, and the silver haired boy twitches, his eyes rolling under closed lids. "Suga." Daichi sounds pained as he speaks, moving to grasp at his friend's shoulders and shake him into wakefulness. Suga gasps as he's gripped, his lids flick open and his brown irises are noticeably smaller compared to the shocked white surrounding them.
Screaming has him flinching and jumping back, it fades into groans of torture until it's just sobbing. Hinata stares at Suga the same as Daichi does, glancing over the male's body in fear and confusion. He spots it before Daichi does, gasps loudly as bile shoots up his throat. Swallows it before it leaks from his throat, and darts forward, grasping at Suga's shirt, feels it squish under his shaking hands. "Suga!" He screams, tugging at the damp material, too dark red makes his fingers slippery.
"Hinata!" Forcefully pulls him back from empty panic, eases his grip on too red clothes. "Help me get him inside." It's low, a dazed request as much as command. He's never lifted anything heavier than Natsu before, but he nods, eases his neck under one of the older boy's arms at the same time Daichi does. They lift, but the height difference makes the process slow, and they tug a sobbing Suga into the bare light of Daichi's house. There's dragging, and Daichi hisses as he takes on most of the weight of their task.
Suga is settled onto the floor in the center of the room, he and Daichi both run off as soon as the silver hair is settled onto the hard ground, he grabs pillows from Daichi's bed, settles them under the other's twisted neck as Daichi emerges from the bathroom. "Suga." Daichi calls when he's close enough, a white box clenched between his tanned fingers. "Help me get his shirt off." The older boy is already tugging at the white turned red material, and he unbuttons from the top, idly wondering why Suga even bothered with all of these buttons. They meet in the middle, where he can feel liquid oozing under the surface of the thin school uniform.
They peel back each end of the shirt, Hinata finds in him not to flinch away from the pale, dipping skin, marked red and bleeding. Letting out a big sigh, ignoring the way his vision starts to flare with black, he looks up at Daichi, looking for instructions. "Get a towel from the bathroom." Daichi says at the same time he pulls his eyes from the wounds. He nods, takes off and pushes the bathroom door so hard it slams against the wall behind it. Grabs both towels from the rack by the tub, why do we wash towels if we end up clean, and sets them beside Daichi's shaking frame.
Daichi doesn't say anything as he opens the white box in his hands, pulls out a clear bottle and unscrews the lid. The smell is pungent and makes his head spin, but Hinata continues to wait for his next task, too shocked to think of anything else. The bottle is tipped over and poured onto Suga's body, it sizzles violently, slides down both sides of his hips and dragging blood with it. Suga's stomach jumps up, back arching when the liquid is poured onto him, but Hinata's eyes are drawn to Suga's face, paler than usual and contorted into pain. He's never seen Suga-san cry before.
"Wipe him down carefully." Daichi instructs. He pulls the towels away from his captain's side, balls up the material and dabs at the sizzling cuts on his teammate's stomach. How. It's too unreal to answer, and he's not sure he can even handle the truth anymore. "Now get under him, I'll wrap." It feels like fantasy when he thinks about it, Daichi wrapping Suga-san's wounds, Suga-san having wounds, with him cleaning sizzling foam and blood from under them. Finds it grounding as he does as he's asked, he doesn't want to be on the ground though.
The blood is cleaned from the floorboards, and both towels are wet. He glances up at the shaking frame of Suga, his stomach still visible, the injuries stick out and seem to draw in light, they're clotted over and blackened around the edges. "Mine." He flinches at the word, mine mine mine. He's not sure why Daichi says it, but it pulls his eyes away from clammy skin and he's left with arms full of heavy towels, not sure what to do with them. He tosses them in the garbage, they'd be useless now.
The wet plop of the towels landing in the garbage seems to pull Daichi from his daze, he grabs gauze from his little white box and wraps it around Suga's arched back, covering the quivering darkness of his stomach. The action seems to pull Suga-san from his blankness, the silver haired boy gasps loudly, and his teeth click together as Daichi pulls the gauze tightly before tying it off. "Suga!" His captain gasps when he's finished, the other boy blinks violently, soaking his lashes with tears. "It hurts." Hinata is left wondering why there wasn't a hospital around their town, why they'd have to drag Suga's blood soaked body onto a train if Daichi hadn't reacted, hadn't saved him.
"Suga!" Daichi says when Suga groans in pain after speaking, "Don't strain." He says more gently, and some of the tenseness in Suga's body seems to melt. "What happened?" Daichi sounds close to tears again. He draws back, realizing he shouldn't intrude on this moment. "I left here... Someone was waiting and they..." The words are few, but they speak infinitely, someone did this. On purpose. Had hurt someone who would never hurt anyone. "Who?" Suga's head tilts back and forth, "Too dark." Hinata flinches at the admission, and Suga's watery eyes land on him, too intense for Suga's usual friendly demeanor.
"He was laughing." He gags silently when he hears that, wondering who or what could be so sick to laugh as they carved someone. "Mine." He flinches from where he's perched over from Daichi's trashcan. "It says that." He's not sure what it is, but he's hands are shaking the trash can and Daichi is staring at him now. "He carved that into me." Hinata's heart freezes, but his brain races. There are people just like Grand King, like Kuroo, who claim others. Who feed on the weak. But Suga is strong, carried him, supported his best friend always.
"It looks like random lines." He says, because he can't think of anything else, and the silence was starting to ring in his ears. "It's Romanji." Daichi sounds like he might laugh, the random lines -cuts- were Romanji, they weren't random, and neither was the attack. I got someone hurt again. He could have stopped Suga, forced him to spend the night and this would have been stopped. Hinata doesn't cry, but his eyes burn and itch. "Should we call the police?" He asks, and the other two boys are silent, staring at each other thoughtfully. "They won't find him." Suga says, brown eyes focusing on him again.
"But-" He stops talking when Daichi's head starts to shake, not tremble but shake. "We'll find him, Koushi." Daichi promises, he vows, it's dark and truthful. Daichi promises revenge, Suga smiles at the use of his given name, and a tear rolls down his head and into his hair. "We shouldn't go chasing shadows, especially since one of us is scared of the dark." There's a laugh, he's stunned that Suga can make a joke right now, let alone laugh, as airy as it sounds. "The cuts are shallow, I'll be fine in a week or two." Daichi's head is shaking again.
"What if he comes back?" Suga frowns at that, "He said it was a message, I think it got delivered." Daichi looks like he might question everything in existence, but Hinata has the answers. Mine. Mine. Mine. They're spat into his brain, Who? He asks but nobody answers. A message to him, in blood, on his friend and teammate. He throws up into the trashcan. Grand King knew where he was staying, but had no reason to give him a message. Kuroo had already given him his message. Whore.
"We'll be late for school." He almost hits Suga, his fist collides with floorboards instead. "You should rest." His tone is soft despite the rage and fear that boil inside of him, Suga's laugh make him shudder. "I'll be fine, Shouyou." He doubts that to the core of his being, someone could hurt Suga, touch his carved stomach or carve into him again. "Please..." But the other boy ignores him. "Don't suppose you have another uniform to lend out, Daichi?" Hinata is scared of Suga-san as much as he's scared for him, joking and acting like nothing is wrong, like they didn't just find him on the steps of Daichi's house, bloodied and passed out. Mine. Daichi doesn't say anything as he leaves the room, but he can see the strain in his face to keep it blank.
"You're such an idiot." Is whispered like acid once Daichi returns, a white shirt and black pants in his hands. "You can't go to school like this." Hinata's almost confused at how different Daichi's words and actions are, helping Suga-san into a school uniform while commanding him not to go to school. He wonders if his nightmare had brought him into another world, where people go to school right after getting stabbed. He was probably there all night, he realizes bitterly, watching as Suga-san stands on shaky legs. Daichi's clothes fit the silver haired boy more than they do him, he's not sure why he notices when Suga should be wearing a hospital gown and a needle full of drugs.
"Aren't you hurting?" Suga's eyes land on him, he thinks he sees a flash of something in them. "Not really- kind of just burns, I guess?" The older boy's face is almost bashful, but Daichi frowns and disappears again, returning with a different bottle. They rattle in a way that his him flinching. "Here." His captain says, offering Suga the entire bottle. The silver haired boy laughs, and it piles rocks in Hinata's empty stomach. "Do you want food?" He's almost embarrassed to ask the question, not sure if breakfast will help or hinder the older boy's healing. "Is my little chef going to cook for me?" There's teasing in Suga's tone, but Hinata's ears close after the second word. My. Mine. Mine. Tugs those thoughts into nothingness, forces a smile on his face for Suga's sake.
"Rice and eggs?" It's all there is for food besides the mystery meat, but he doesn't need a reminder of how he couldn't stop Suga from leaving last night. "No goat for breakfast?" Suga asks, then he lurches forward, grasping at his stomach, a normal reaction to pain that Suga hadn't shown earlier. "Eggs are fine." Hinata is glad that his hands have a task, something to do while not focusing on the fact that he had gotten a teammate hurt. There was debate on who had done it while he measured water, Grand King, as he poured in rice. Kuroo, as he cracked an egg too hard. Someone else, as he pulled the mystery meat from the fridge. He made strips and pulled bentos onto the counter, lunch was a small repayment for getting Suga, someone who had done him no wrong, hurt.
He flinches when the eggs and meat start to sizzle, blood is pulled from the pan and he's shaking by the time everything is cooked. Piles half the pan's contents onto a plate and the other half into each of their bentos. Tell them. Hinata isn't sure why he hasn't. Grand King or Kuroo stabbed you. He needs an answer before he starts making claims, Grand King loved him, almost hurt his friend so he wouldn't make a move. "Wouldn't." He whispers into the eggs. Did Grand King think Suga lived here and attacked him? Grabs chopsticks and forks, prepared himself to look at his injured teammate. I'll give you a week to tell me. He's certain that Grand King wanted to hurt who he was living with. Mine. Grand King jealous. Live with me, that's what boyfriends do, right? Grand King hurting people to manipulate him. It would work. Grand King knew it would work.
Suga isn't where he had left him, he scans the room, finding both boys at Daichi's study area he moves forward and sets the plate and utensils on the table. Retreats back to the kitchen before his mouth can open. Kuroo could have done this. Something about Kuroo seems murderous, his gleaming eyes and- He swallows, pausing as he packs meat into an empty bento. You're mine now. Kuroo would only hurt him, only wanted his friend back, the one he stole. His heart hurts at the thought of Kenma hurting, more so at the thought of leaving him behind.
He glances over at Suga and Daichi, waiting for the moment they realize it was him the message was for.