Chapter six

As the Christmas break approached, Ron did ask Harry about going to the Burrow even though he was no longer with Ginny and hadn't been for a couple of weeks, but Ron figured he'd ask. Like he expected, Harry said no, he was going to use his break time to study but to say happy Christmas to his family for him. Ron already knew that would be the answer, and just like Hermione, no one knew how to handle this new Harry Potter and Ron wasn't sure he wanted to, Harry wasn't the friend he used to have, it was like a whole other bloke, very indifferent, very cold, very uncaring. Hermione knew it all started when Sirius died, but she always thought after some time Harry would eventually be how he used to be. But losing his parents, then losing a father figured because that's how Harry came to think of Sirius, it seemed to completely close off any real emotions from her friend so now Harry was emotionless and she wasn't sure if she could stay close friends with someone like that.

Harry had been in the library on Christmas morning when a house elf handed him a note from McGonagall. Harry scowled as he read the note but packed up his bag and headed down to the great hall. He didn't smile, he just sat down, dropping his bag beside him and waited.

'Everyone needs a break Mr. Potter, everyone also needs to celebrate,' Minerva said as all staff and the few students stared at Harry.

'I have nothing to celebrate and I don't appreciate being made to come here when I did not want to.'

'I'm sure your parents would like to think you might be enjoying this day, they always enjoyed Christmas, naturally Sirius was always with them.'

Harry's face hardened, 'I didn't know my parents, so to me their strangers I just happened to be related to. I would appreciate if you would stop bringing Sirius up all the time.'

'Harry,' Minerva sighed, 'It's been two years since he died, you need to move on.'

'I fucking know when he died, I was there if you remember. I can't do this,' Harry didn't care that he was probably in trouble, he just grabbed his bag and ran from the hall leaving a stunned silence behind him.

'So his problem is still the loss of his godfather?' Filius asked.

'Yes, I think there is more to this though, something Harry refuses to say. His hurting right now and nothing anyone does can get Harry to talk about what he is feeling,' Minerva sighed again then decided to change the subject, so she turned to some of the other students who had been shocked at Harry's attitude. They started to talk about what the students might want to do once they finished at Hogwarts.

A few weeks after Christmas, Harry like usual was sitting at the Gryffindor table eating breakfast while reading one of his books when Ron sat down across from him.

'You caused this Harry, so tell me what happened?'

'Um,' Harry kept reading for a minute then looked up, 'Sorry, did you say something Ron?'

'Bloody hell Harry, yes, I said something, what happened between you and Ginny?'

'That was ages ago,' Harry could see Ron wanted more, 'She said it was over, so nothing has happened or is happening and hasn't for a long time, so I don't get what this is about. Can I finish reading now?'

'She's gone, left, did you know that?'

'I haven't seen Ginny at all since we broke up, so to answer your questions, no, I haven't. Why don't you write to your mum, I'm sure she knows everything,' Harry looked back down at his book until it was pulled away, 'What?' he snapped.

'She never went home, no one knows where she is or anything, not even why she left. The last couple of weeks she's been a little quiet, so I need you to concentrate on something other than blasted work.'

'Look,' Harry sighed, 'the last time I saw her she wanted sex, so we did. Then after, she broke up with me, that's it, now that was about two or three weeks before Christmas. That was what, six weeks ago, about that anyway. We haven't spoken or seen each other since that one night, so I don't think any of this concerns me, it must have something to do with someone or something else,' Harry grabbed his book and started reading again.

'You're a real bastard you are…mate,' Ron said loudly as he got up then stormed out of the great hall.

Harry shook his head but he knew it was better for Ginny that they were no longer together, he couldn't give her what she wanted, he couldn't give her the love she expected. After losing Sirius, no one would get love from him again because he didn't have any left to give, it died when Sirius died. So Harry went back to what he was doing, he continued reading missing the looks from students and staff.

Nothing much changed at Hogwarts except now everyone seemed to leave Harry Potter alone. Some knew he didn't like to be disturbed, others didn't want to get yelled at. Hermione and Ron always sat with their other friends and talked but they had stopped talking about Harry and why he was like this. Hermione had a sneaking suspicion as to one of the reasons and that was Sirius. Harry was finally grieving for the loss of his godfather, something he never had a chance to do before now and he didn't know how to cope. But Hermione thought there was more to it, all to do with the death of Sirius. She wasn't game enough to bring up any subject with Harry let alone bring up his godfather, so she remained quiet but occasionally watched him when they happen to be in the library together.

As their final year was coming to an end, the seventh years were all studying hard. Naturally some harder than others, like Hermione and Harry, but even Ron hardly stopped studying. Students nerves were getting to them, so a lot of calming draughts were given out by Madam Pomfrey but also some students would just faint through nerves and stress.

The tests for the N.E.W.T.s started and over the next two weeks Harry never stopped studying until he had to do that test. When it was time, Harry did his written test, writing more than most students and finishing before Hermione and no one ever finished before her, until now. Then Harry would do his practical, he would nod when he was done then leave the great hall. He'd hear all the other students talking about how they think they went but like always, he never joined in.

'So Harry, do you think you got O's especially with all the studying you did, which was all the time?' Ron said stiffly.

'All O's,' Harry said confidently before returning to what he was reading.

'So if you got all O's, why are you still studying?'

'You never stop learning,' Harry replied but never looked up from the book.

Ron scowled then went back to his other friends who were on the other side of Gryffindor tower. 'It's going to be great fun working with him.'

'I'm sure once he's an actual auror he'll lighten up. But have you heard anything about Ginny, she's been gone for months?' Neville asked.

'No one has heard anything from her, just that one letter asking dad for money, then nothing. I know Ginny loved the git, but I don't get why she had to leave.'

'None of us do Ron, it's so unlike Ginny to run away like she did, she's a fighter.'

'I know Dean, maybe she'll come home after some more time, that's what mum's hoping for.'

'Since it was a while after she broke up with Harry, maybe it doesn't have anything to do with him,' Seamus said.

'No, it's because she loved him, that's why she left, maybe she thought if she didn't see him she might get over him quicker. I don't know, I just wish I knew where she was,' Ron sighed.

The friends continued talking, Harry continued reading and Hermione continued to watch Harry. Something about Ginny leaving so suddenly kept nagging at her until she had convinced herself as to the reason and even though she hoped she was wrong, she didn't think she was. She wasn't going to bring it up with anyone until she had proof, if she ever found proof, something she wasn't sure she could do. Maybe if Ginny returns, she might get the answer, but until then she'd just keep watching and listening.

On the last day of Hogwarts, Harry packed his trunk, made sure he had everything, shrunk it and stuck it inside his pocket, then headed down to the great hall for breakfast. He sat at the Gryffindor table, dished up and started eating, again missing the looks he received from staff and students.

'Are you heading straight home when we get off the train?' Hermione asked as she sat down.

'I'm not going on the train, I'm going to apparate home after I go talk to Aberforth.'

'It's the last time we'll all be on the Hogwarts express Harry, you'll miss it.'

'Not much to miss, bad memories and bad food.'

'Please don't bite my head off, but the way you are, it's to do with Sirius, isn't it?'

Harry closed his eyes, his jaw tightened before he finally looked at his friend, 'I'm just different Hermione, that has nothing to do with Sirius,' Harry turned back to his breakfast, 'And I don't want to talk about him.'

'You don't want to talk about anything,' Hermione sighed then moved away from Harry and dished up her own breakfast.

The students leaving for the last time were asked to wait until all the other students left the castle. Once it was time, Filch opened the doors and let the parting students leave. Every student and staff member was lining a path to the carriages and all applauded as the seventh years walked towards the carriage. As Harry moved down, not even smiling like the others, Hagrid pulled him aside and hugged him.

'Not so hard Hagrid, you forget how strong you are.'

'Sorry Harry, but I'm going to miss ya.'

Harry sighed, 'I will too, you were the first magical person I met, my first friend,' Harry hugged him again, then felt a heavy hand on his head, 'Hi Grawp.'

'Harry,' the large giant stared down at him, 'miss Harry.'

'I'll miss you too my big mate. Don't scare all the new students though. You've done good with him Hagrid, something I never thought would happen.'

'He's a good boy, but I better let you get into a carriage.'

'Yeah,' Harry hugged Hagrid, then gave Grawp a hug to his legs before walking away. He saw Professor McGonagall watching him, so he gave her a small smile, nodded, then climbed into the first carriage he came to. Once everyone was seated, the thestrals made their way down the long drive, out the gates and down to Hogsmeade station. Harry climbed down and saw Hermione, Ron, Neville and a few others standing near the train. Harry gave them a nod, then turned and walked away.

'Harry, you're missing the train.'

'I'm not going on the train Ab, I just wanted to come see you before heading home.'

'I'm glad you did and I expected a visit on the weekends.'

'I had to study.'

'So I was told, actually I was told that's all you did, even to the point where your girl left you and left the school.'

'She wanted all the touchy feely stuff, I didn't see the need. But she'll be better off with someone else, my life is going to be dedicated to work. Anyway, I just stopped by to say thanks, for everything Aberforth. You saved me and my friends and helped wherever you could,' Harry stuck his hand out and shook the old bar man's hand, 'I'll never forget it.'

'I do what I can Harry, but try to have a life not just work.'

'Work will be my life and that's what I want,' Harry gave Aberforth Dumbledore a nod, then left the dark pub and apparated to his home ready to start his life as an adult in a job he thought he'd be good at, making sure the wizarding world was always safe and never had to go through another war or another Voldemort. He didn't want anyone to go through the pain of losing someone, and Harry was determined to stop that from ever happening again. When he stepped into his home, he unpacked his stuff, took his photo album out and placed it beside the bed, then sat there staring at Sirius. 'I miss you so and now everything is over, it's worse. Why did you leave me Sirius?' Harry angrily wiped the tears from his face before getting up and heading out to stock up on food for his home.