Mello

Mr Stephen's eyes followed me as I left.

I ran into the school courtyard away from him, trying to escape from the mess I created, and that was when I bumped into Matt. I stood dumbstruck as he walked up to me with the same small grin upon his face, but something was different. He didn't look smug at all. He looked...the complete opposite. I attempted to wipe the tears off my face before he saw them, but it was a little too late. He stopped me, trapping me in a corner.

"Hey" His voice shook as he spoke and the pain in his eyes grew with every word. He was the one hurting here, I convinced myself, I had the upper hand. I was in a better position. But before I could convince myself any further, he threw me off course.

He had caught me with Mr Stephen.

I've been trying to hide it from him, from everyone, for so long, and he had caught me. Of course I saw it coming. Only an idiot wouldn't have. However, I wasn't prepared one bit. I wasn't prepared to see that expression, that pitiful expression. I almost burst into tears again I front of my worse enemy, or who should've been my worst enemy. I wasn't prepared for this confrontation. I wanted to hit myself for being so careless, so stupid. The worse thing was, I didn't even have any argument. I couldn't even find it in myself to push Matt away, insult him, tell him to fuck off and mind his own business. I couldn't.

I just couldn't.

I didn't even realize that I cared about his feelings this much. He was throwing threats at me, tone so icy cold, and I just stood there taking it all in.

"Come on. Smile for me Mello. Its just a date. After all the shit you put me through, this is the least you could do," he spat, leaning a bit closer. I wanted to hit him, I should have. But I held back. Maybe it was my fault after all. I started this mess. I screwed with everyone's feelings, fucked everything up. That's what I always do. That's what always happens. And I did feel apologetic, really really apologetic, but the words would not form. The only thing I could do was stare at him helplessly.

I'm sorry.

I truly hope he saw it through my eyes.

...

The days leading up to the weekend were filled with gloom. I hardly spoke to Matt, preferring to keep to myself instead. He didn't make much of an effort to speak to me either, not that I expected him too. He was probably just as broken as me.

Saturday came pretty fast though I was praying it would never come. As a pathetic attempt to clear my head, I went down to the cafeteria. I scurried over to the table Nick and the others were already seated at and tried to get in as quietly as I could, but they noticed me.

"Hey Mello. You've been looking real glum lately," Sebastian commented, nudging my shoulder.

I forced a tight smile, pushing hair out of my face. "No, I'm perfectly normal."

"You've got bags under your eyes. You haven't been sleeping well, have you?"

I felt my face gently. Yea, I haven't slept well at all. Spending most of my time trying to avoid Matt, spending nights out or in the library studying didn't leave me much room for sleep. "Th-that's not it."

"Well, whatever it is, you look like you need a break," Nick cut in, placing a hand across my waist. "What about...you know, we all go out for a good time later tonight. That'll help, right?"

Before I could respond, someone came up behind me, hugging my neck. "Sorry, guys, but Mello's already got a date. With me." It was Matt. He smiled, but it was fake and his voice came out tight and low. Everyone around the table looked at us, mostly in disbelief. They've probably heard enough stories from me to know that I hated Matt.

"R-really?" Nick asked, unhooking his arm from my waist. I bit my lips together and nodded slightly. I knew I couldn't protest anyway and I didn't have a energy to. "O-oh ok. You guys have...fun, then."

Matt then let go of me and walked off, leaving me in the middle of a hundred and one staring gazes. And not in a good way. "Really, Mello? What's with the change of heart?" Luke frowned. "I thought you hated him, big time."

"Y-yea...but...he-he became ok. After I got to know him a little." I could tell from their faces that they didn't buy it. Sighing, I waved them off. "He just asked, and I agreed, ok?"

They stopped asking after that. There was silence, but it wasn't the type of comfortable silence I was accustomed to, it was the kind of silence you could drown in. So I left. But I didn't want to go back to our room; Matt was probably in there, seeing as he didn't have Duncan to hang around with anymore. But on the other hand, there was so many people around and I really wanted to be alone right now.

I walked back to our room and cautiously opened the door. Matt was sitting on his bed staring at his lap. He seemed to know it was me without looking up. "Hey. Mello."

I didn't reply.

"You probably hate me, don't you? Forcing you out on a date like that and then embarrassing you in front of your friends."

I didn't know how to answer that. A long time ago, I would have shot straight up and screamed yes! But, now, I honestly don't know what I feel for Matt anymore. I didn't reply again.

He chuckled softly, though I didn't know why. "Well, the concerts at 8. We've got to get a move on around 6."

"...ok," I finally said.

"You don't have to linger around the doorway like that, you know." Looking up at me, he shifted on the bed.

"I know that…"

He stared at me expectantly. Sighing, I walked over to my own bed and laid down on it, turning away so that my back faced him and I was facing the cream colored wall. I laid still for a long time to give Matt the impression that I was asleep. He must have bought it because he stopped talking and left me alone.

Silently counting the minutes til it was time to go got me pretty drowsy but I didn't allow myself to fall asleep. It would be awkward if Matt had to wake me up after all that. In the end, I ended up getting up at 5 and dragging myself to the shower to take a long bath. When I came out of the steamy enclosure, Matt was sitting up on his bed and smiled at me. "Hey. We should be heading off soon."

"Yeah, I know."

He took a shower and changed before announcing that we had to leave. As we left the room, only then did I realise that I didn't know how we were going to get to the concert hall. Matt seemed to have everything planned out though, leading me to the carpark. He had already rented a car; a bright red beauty with the style only a celebrity could master. We got into it and began to drive off. The journey was a quiet, peaceful one. Matt had wound down the windows to let the cool breeze in and the road was pretty forrested and deserted leading there. It was only when we entered the main highway that they traffic increased drastically. I suppose most of the traffic was caused by Cheetars' fans going to watch the concert, like us. And it was a good thing we left earlier too; we only got there with 10 minutes to spare.

There was already a long ass queue stretched from the main entrance to the driveway and lots of people were trying to squeeze their way through or attempting to sneak in through the back door. Matt took my hand, surprising me, and pulled me to the queue. "Don't wander off Mello. There's a lot of...maniacs here. They'll snatch you up the first chance they get."

Already, I could feel someone's cold hand on my ass. I pushed closer to Matt, blushing. Suddenly, there was a surge forward and everyone was pushed forward. I stumbled a little and tripped, falling onto my hands and knees. When I looked up, Matt was no longer in sight. Panicking, I tried to get up before the heaping mass if people trampled all over me.

"Whoa, are you ok?" someone called out. I looked up and found a boy standing next to me. His hand was outstretched, offering me something to grab on to pull myself up. I took it and got up quickly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you."

"I'm Matthew," he smiled. He must've been my age, if not a little older. His tussled hair was sleek black, styled with gel so it shone under the light.

"Matthew? Really?" What a coincidence, he and Matt have the same name. "I'm Mello."

"Yo! Matt, what are you-oh..." some boys ran over yelling. They stopped mid sentence when they saw me.

"Hey guys I was just trying to get into line and I met him," he gestured to me.

"H-hi," his friends greeted. I smiled back.

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my wrist shakily. Turning around, I came face-to-face with Matt. "Jesus, Mello, there you are! I thought I lost you." He panted as he spoke, his face flushed.

"Sorry...I couldn't find you either and I got scared."

Matt's eyes darted from me to Matthew and his friends, still holding on to my hand. Matthew frowned and whispered something to his friends. "Well, we'll be going now Mello. See you in there, I hope." They waved and walked off. Matt was still glaring at them after they disappeared into the crowd. I knew what was coming next.

"Who are they?" Bullseye.

"Just some kids I met when I was looking for you," I mumbled.

"Really. Ok come on, we can go in now." Matt led me to the front of the queue and handed his ticket to the ticket collector. We made it through the entranced and instantly, the lively atmosphere hit me. Teenage girls and boys filled the hall and some were seated up and down the aisle, already cheering and waving banners in the air. I suddenly felt really out of it. I didn't know a single Cheetars song; I didn't even know the band. Matt seemed pretty excited though, like a little puppy. Seeing this side of him made me smile. After all, the only thing I've ever seen him genuinely happy about was his video games, and a long time ago...me. "I'm so glad we made it in time. Come on, we're on row E. Seats...10 and 11."

We got to our seats and got seated. We were pretty near the front. Just as we sat, the opening of some song started playing. The audience went wild. The lights around the hall were shut off so only the giant spotlight remained on stage. One by one, the members of the band emerged from the stage. As they stood together at the front of the stage, the front row seaters made wild grabs for them.

"GOOD EVENING, LOS ANGELOS!"

...

The first half of the concert went on for about an hour and a half. After that, there was a half an hour interval. Most of the crowd disappeared outside to get drinks or snacks while the rest of us stayed in our seats. Matt offered to get us some drinks.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks."

After he left I was left alone. Sighing, I looked around for something to do when I noticed someone familiar walking towards me. "Mello! What a coincidence! I can't believe I managed to find you," Matthew called, jogging over to my seat.

"Oh hey, again. Where are your friends?"

"I ditched them." I smiled though I was used to these types of gestures.

"They'll get lonely. You're a terrible friend."

"Don't say that," he pouted, "I was afraid you were lonely." He looked around, then turned back to face me. "Where's that red headed dude?"

I didn't really like how he referred to Matt but I answered anyway. "He went to get a drink."

Matthew smirked. "I see. So that gives us a but of time then."

"Time? For what?"

He continued smiling as he pulled me up. "Come on, I'll show you!"

He led me out the other entrance from the back of the building where there was no crowd at all. "M-Matthew? Where are we going?"

He didn't answer me but kept running. Finally, we stopped by a huge oak tree next to a small garden shed I never knew still existed. "What are we doing out here?"

Before I could register anything, he had pushed me up against the tree and kissed me. He was taller and stronger but when I tried to push him away, he compelled and stepped away from me. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, gasping.

"Sorry, it was worth a shot. It's because of that kid isn't it? He your boyfriend?"

I shook my head, slowly uncovering my mouth. "No...he's not."

"So...you have one elsewhere or something?"

I shook my head again.

"Then what's the problem?"

I didn't know either. I've never been like this before. Ever since the incident with Mr Stephen, I've been avoiding any sexual contact, even with Nick. I don't know why. Was it...because of Matt? Because I didn't want him to get upset again?

No, no fucking way. Why was I letting Matt change me so much? This was too much, too damn much. For a few minutes, just a few minutes, I wanted to lose Matt. I wanted to clear him from my mind.

"I want to forget..." I mummured, grabbing Matthew by his shirt collar and pulling him closer.

"I can help you forget," he whispered into my neck.

"Then help me forget."