Hey frands! I'm back! Sorry November was like a no update month, I was participating in NaNoWriMo! Buuuut I'm back for the most part. I have finals this upcoming week, so after that I'll be freeeeee! But then I'm moving the week after New Years for school, I'm so excited! But yeah, that's wassup with me right now (:

thank you so much JMDeaton for helping me out! We figured out some more cute fluff for the next chapter as well, so hold on!

Xoxo Em

I don't wanna be the first one folding

I don't wanna be the joker heart
Tell me, darling, will you understand me?
And not show me your cards?

'Cause I'm paper-thin
And you, you make me whole again

Hallow, Tori Kelly

Clary

Complete and utter chaos. Yelling, objects being thrown, threats and curses on the Morgenstern name. All of their angry faces jeer and laugh at me, telling me that I get what I deserve. That I've dirtied my lineage with demonic runes, slashed my credibility and that of my brother's. They're all here, too, and they don't do a damn thing to stop it all. They don't look hurt, or even slightly disgruntled.

Isabelle, Alec, and even Maryse are in the crowd laughing. They're snickering and Isabelle waves her hand at me mockingly, saying goodbye. Robert is the clearest. Right in front of me, he looks the happiest of them all, like he's won the lottery. I feel my stomach churn and the guard nearest to me shoves me to my knees in front of everybody.

"Clarissa Morgenstern, the Clave finds you guilty of high treason," Robert booms, his enthusiastic voice garbled and distorted. He knew he would win all along, and he dragged me to Edom and back to get his victory.

I'm going to be stripped of my runes.

When I turn to find somebody, anybody, I'm faced with something even worse than Robert, worse than my current fate - the only two men in my life that I care about.

They both stand there - Jonathan, standing - with impassive faces and judgmental eyes burning into mine. Jonathan strolls up to me and crouches, his hands resting leisurely on his knees, like this isn't a big deal.

"This is all your fault. You did this to yourself, Clarissa," he tells me sharply, cutting down any bit of pride I have left. "You've ruined the Morgenstern name."

With tears streaming steadily down my face - in front of the Council, in front of the entire Clave - I look on to Jace. He's smiling. It's a sick twist of his lips, nothing like the warm smile that keeps me grounded and feeling protected. He's mocking me with the rest of them.

"Poor, little Clary. You used to be so strong, what happened to you?" He cocks his head to the side and pouts a little bit before laughing, my brother joining in.

"Clary," they all start to chant.

"You stupid little girl," Robert hisses with pleasure.

Jace joins in with the others, "Clary!"

"Clary, hey, shh, it's okay," his voice pulls me out, and my heart feels like it's flying through space and time, crashing haphazardly into my waking body. I'm shaking, my body and hair soaked, with my hair stuck to my face, and my clothes clinging to my body; like they are a part of my flesh. "You're okay. It's okay."

Jace holds me close to him, his hand running up and down my back as my chest heaves against his with a sob. I take a deep shuttering breath in and wrap my arms around him, burying my face into his neck. He's warm and solid, and here. Thank the angel, it was just a dream!

I'm okay, I keep telling myself. A deep inhale and an even longer exhale expel the vivid images of laughing and blame. It's not my fault. I didn't ask to be able to create these new runes, or to be fathered by a psycho. I didn't choose to be different.

"Thank you," I finally tell Jace with a more put together voice. He pulls away and rests his heavily calloused hands feather light on my cheeks, dabbing away the moisture. I lean into them and sigh before I rest my hands over his and turn my face to kiss his hands. "What time is it?"

Jace hesitantly slides his hands down my face as he glances towards the window where the sky is still dark, but a lighter blue shows that it is already beginning to transition into day. It's still early.

"I'd say five," he tells me softly. "Do you want to try and sleep longer? I'll be right here."

"No," I answer quickly and kick the restricting covers off of my legs. I turn back towards him and softly tell him, "You can go back to sleep, it's alright."

"I'm awake," he shakes his head and sits up more, waiting for me to make a move. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and let my bare feet fall to the cold wooden floor.

I hear Jace stand behind me as I move to the bag of clothes Isabelle let me borrow and dig around for a moment. I pull out black yoga pants, a green tank top, and a grey hooded sweatshirt; I need to do something physical, I need to train or run, or something.

Without another word, I move to the bathroom and change before running a brush through my hair, - I don't know who's it is, but it's hot pink so I'm hoping it's Isabelle's - and wrap the frizzy mass into a bun. After I splash my face with cold water, I lean my hands on either side of the sink and let my head hang, stretching my neck out. When I look up, I'm met with empty green eyes and deep circles underneath, water dripping down my sallow face. I'm exhausted both physically, and mentally.

What's happened to me? I've grown weak. I've let them all into my head, and now I feel... nothing. The Inquisitor would love to see me like this, broken down and alone. Hopeless.

Pathetic.

The knock on the door makes me snap up straight and pull myself together. I grab the towel off of the rack and dry my face before turning to open the door. Jace stands there in similar training gear and a sad smile on his face. He doesn't say anything however, and just holds his hand out to me.

He leads me down the stairs silently, and out the front door. I don't know where we're going, but I let him take me away, if even for just a moment.

We walk for a long while, hand in hand and in silence. It's still early, just past five and the sky is turning an odd color, like sherbet spilling across the sky. It's cool out, but the rapidly rising sun is already warming my skin. The back dirt roads of Alicante are deserted and narrow, everybody still tucked away until the sun wakes them up.

"Where are we going?" I ask Jace quietly. He squeezes my hand and smiles down at me.

"You'll see, soon." I don't like that answer, and he knows it. He just smiles his shit eating smile and tugs me along without a care.

I know he's just as worried as I am too, though. I'm pretty sure that everybody is, which is why that nightmare didn't make much sense, even though it felt so real.

Robert is a loose cannon. We have no clue what it is he's getting out of this, or just how far he'll go to get whatever it is; but it's clear that this is a lot more personal to him. I don't know how to stop him, besides to tell the truth.

But what if the truth isn't good enough for him? Will the rest of the Council follow his lead, or will they listen to the truth? Jia, the Consul, is friends with Maryse. I know the Lightwood's mother has spoken with her about me, but all in confidence. She can't make any decisions just because she's friends with Maryse. Which in my opinion, should be the same with Robert, since he is her husband after all.

"You know that we'll fight this, right, Clary?" Jace asks me, his voice honeyed like his eyes that gaze down on me with worry. "If he tries to strip you."

I look down at our intertwined hands and squeeze tightly, while giving him a small nod. I know we will, and I know they'll all be by my side the entire time, - Jon, Jace, Isabelle, Maryse, even Alec and Max. Fighting their own father's will.

"Hey," he murmurs, stopping us and gently pulling me to actually look up at him. His hands come up to my cheeks like they have so often recently. It's become my favorite thing, being safely between his warm calloused hands, and staring into his comforting eyes. He leans down slowly and presses his lips to mine tenderly. With a hand on his chest, I kiss him back and let it all melt away. All of the worrying and tension and exhaustion, he takes it away from me and bares it himself. I pull away after a few moments and give him a smile; it's amazing how he can even do that to me. Jace is my safe space.

"Can we just forget? For a couple hours?" I ask him, desperately wanting to preserve and prolong our time together, because even though he keeps telling me that we'll fight this together, I'm still scared. And come to think of it, I was never really, truly afraid of anything before all of this happened. I was headstrong and impulsive, always ready to kill. I want that confidence back.

"Anything for you, sweets," he grins sarcastically and steps away, taking my hand up again. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Really? Sweets?" I scoff.

"No, that was weird," he chuckles as we come into the more rural areas of Alicante, where the trees are thicker and the small streams are more frequent. There really aren't any footpaths in this area, it's all just dirt or grass.

"Yeah," I laugh with him. At least he tried to lighten the mood. "Really though, where are we going?"

"Somewhere I used to go, when I was younger and my parents had things to do in town," he tells me after a moment of hesitation. His voice is soft and giving, sharing with me something important to him.

"Did you go there often?" I ask him.

"Every time we visited Alicante. I didn't like socializing with my parents' friends," he smiles fondly. "I haven't been here in years, though."

The terrain gets a lot more uneven the farther we go into the small forest that probably stems from Brocelind forest. It's beautiful though, with the morning sun filtering down through the canopy above, and the small animals scampering away from the sound of our footfalls. I even spot a little rabbit running in the opposite direction, as it tries to get away from us.

"It's pretty here," I murmur, wishing I had my sketchbook with me. "And don't make some cheesy remark about me being prettier."

Jace laughs. "You ruin all of my fun."

"That sucks," I smirk sarcastically, watching him fake annoyance and flip his hair with attitude; I laugh a little bit and squeeze his hand. "For you at least."

We walk for a few more minutes, our pace beginning to slow down a little bit. I can tell we're close, and I find myself smiling when I hear running water just up ahead. The light becomes brighter as the trees thin out again. The water is louder now and I can see it ahead, still shaded from the low angle of the sun.

When we step out from the small trail, Jace squeezes my hand and lets me savor the moment. It's absolutely breathtaking. There's a small spring of crystal clear water with the smallest trickle of a waterfall, and fauna growing everywhere; both, native to Idris and normal mundane flowers all growing together.

I pull Jace with me to the edge of the water and peer into the shallow pool, marveling at the shiny rocks scattered all across the light sanded bottom.

"Wow," I murmur, my eyes surely wide. I really wish I had my stuff.

"You're wow," he replies with a deep, dramatic sigh, gazing down on me with full eyes before they crinkle and he starts to laugh. There's the cheesy comment.

"Way to kill the moment," I laugh, and he bumps my shoulder with his before dropping my hand.

"You love me," he shrugs and reaches behind his neck to tug his sweater and t-shirt right off. I watch him as he crouches to untie his boots, his shoulders rippling as he takes them off and pulls his jeans down. I'm red in the face, staring at him stripping down to his underwear. And then he's gone with a splash, into the water.

I take a step back from the edge and toe off my sneakers near his things, and watch him glide across the small pool, the water gently waving with his arms. I pull off my socks as well and dip my foot in, jumping a little bit when it's warm rather than cold like I expected.

Jace comes up at the other side of the pond and shakes his hair out of his face like a dog. "Are you coming in willingly, or am I dragging you in?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I laugh and turn my back to him, self conscious all of a sudden. I take off my sweatshirt and top, fussing with them when they get caught on my loose bun and pulls it out, the rubber band dropping somewhere and letting the frizzy poof go. "Ugh."

"I like it when you wear your hair down," Jace tells me from the water's edge, having swam closer to me. His arms are crossed on the edge, watching me, but not uncomfortably.

"I know," I sigh as I pull down my pants, leaving me in my plain blue underwear and bra. I quickly cannon ball into the water, holding my breath as I go, and laughing when I reemerge to see Jace wiping the water away from his eyes. "It's frizzy though."

"It's natural," he says simply and swims closer to me. I immediately move back a little bit, keeping my arms crossed over my chest. It's hard to do while treading water.

"If you say so," I reply playfully and pull my hair forward - it's so much longer when it's wet, it probably reaches mid waist. I do like that. I don't notice Jace edging closer while I'm messing with my hair until he's right in front of me, watching me closely.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks.

"Nothing important," I smile and hold my hand out towards him. He pulls me close to him, folding me against his bare chest. "Just getting lost in my head. Wishing I had my sketchbook."

"I'll bring you back here, when this is all over," his voice moves his chest that my cheek is pressed against, listening to his heart as he speaks. He pauses for a second before adding on. "Or, anywhere you want to go. I'll take you wherever."

"Like a vacation?" I ask in amusement and pull back to watch him trip on his words.

"I don't know, I've never done that before," he finally says.

"Gone on vacation?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Taken a girl somewhere," he clarifies.

"Well, I like it here a lot," I grin jovially and pull squeeze his sides that my arms are draped around. "And it means something to you."

"I'm not very good at getting my signals through to you, am I?" he laughs sheepishly, then ducks his head down to kiss my wet forehead. I give him a confused look and he sighs. "I want to get away. Just the two of us. I think we both need that, after all of this."

"That would be really nice, Jace," I sigh and tilt my head up to kiss him softly before I pull away to float on my back. "We deserve a vacation."

"Damn straight," he agrees, and when I turn my head, he's on his back as well, floating my way.

"Where would you want to go?" I ask softly, my voice sounding distorted because my ears are underwater.

"I don't know. I haven't been many places," he tells me. "Where have you been?"

"When I was drifting, I ended up in a lot of places. Tokyo, Paris, London. All the big cities. I always felt safer there, with so many people around. It's places like Idris where I'm wary. You never know what's out there in the fields," I explain as he floats closer, wiggling my toes at him when they come close to his face. "But, there's still so much more to see."

"Then let's go see the world. Moscow, Sydney, Madrid. Anywhere you'd like," he muses sincerely. Our ramblings are so trivial, and yet, so real and promising to me. I've never particularly wanted to get away from my life, but I need a break before I... well, before I break. He holds his hand palm up to me and I link my hand to his, careful not to disturb either of us. I hum and gently move my free arm through the water, bringing myself closer to Jace.

"I'd love nothing more."