Chapter thirteen

After lunch, Kingsley stood with Simon as all the aurors arrived back at the office.

'Okay, before we get back to work, there's a couple of things I need to say, one personal, one work related. Now normally we don't discuss our personal lives in this office, well we try not to. But this is something I thought you should all know. Now, as you do know that before all of you started there was just Simon and I here. We lost all the other aurors either before or during the battle of Hogwarts. You all know that relationships between work colleagues is against the rules, you also know I'm not as strict with the rules as past heads, so saying that, Simon and I are a couple and have been for five years. We kept it private as Rufus was by the book type of bloke. Now as head, I normally wouldn't do this, but as I said, there were only two of us here and I couldn't afford to lose my only other auror. So we spoke, worked out to keep our private life out of this office and as you have all seen, we act like work colleagues and nothing else. So even though it is against the rules set out for this office, we really can't afford to lose Simon and I don't want him to leave either. He's a damn good auror and we only do our job while we're here. Now I need to know if any of you are against this?' Kingsley saw every auror look at him, then Simon then each other before they shook their heads.

'We've never seen you two act anything apart from work colleagues or friends. Saying that, we had no idea either of you were gay.' Ernie said, 'So we're all fine,' again everyone agreed.

'Thank you and even though you all know now, we'll still keep it professional. Now my other bit of news,' Kingsley took some parchment from his robes and handed it to Harry.

Harry stared down and started reading, 'You're kidding, it hasn't even been a year and it takes two.'

'You passed everything Harry, so you are now a full auror and you deserve it.'

Harry grinned hugely as all the other aurors headed for Harry and congratulated him.

'Blimey mate, auror in under a year,' Ron grinned then turned to Kingsley, 'Has that ever happened before?'

'No, there was one that passed in just over a year, but not under.'

'That was Kingsley by the way,' Simon said smiling at his partner, 'So from now on, Harry is senior to all of you. If I'm out in the field and Kingsley is out of the office, you all know that it's Harry you have to talk to.'

'Well, we're used to him being our boss,' Parvati said with a cheeky smile on her face, 'So having him boss us around again is not new to us.'

'Smart arse,' Harry grinned, 'blimey, thanks boss,' Harry shook Kingsley's hand then Simon's.

'See, this is the type of reaction you should have had when you passed your written test. You just stood there like, okay it's nothing exciting, then again when you were put through the practical test, nothing, like what you just did meant nothing.'

'Sorry Kingsley, I taught myself not to show emotions because if I did memories came back, memories I didn't want to think about.'

'Yes, that's what I figured since we found out it was Sirius. How in the name of merlin did you end up falling for each other, the age difference I mean? Not to mention the fact he was best friends with your father.'

'It started for me just after I worked out I was gay, at fourteen. I never said anything to Sirius, but I just couldn't stop watching him. Finally I told him one day, this was just after I was fifteen. One day he wanted to talk to me in private, so we went into the room with the tapestry. He admitted he felt the same, but also said nothing could happen. We talked some more, said we could still be together without anyone finding out, he instantly said no sex, nothing like that at all, not till I was older, I agreed. But then when all of you came to get me and take me to Grimmauld Place, I just couldn't take it anymore. I waited till everyone was asleep and snuck into his room and into his bed. He woke up and found me…okay I won't say what I was doing. He tried to stop me, yelled at me and he never yelled at me before, he ever tried to get me out of his room, I refused. He still wasn't going to let anything happen, I said fine, I'm leaving. He didn't want me to leave, but I wouldn't stay unless we could be together, he also knew the danger. Voldemort was trying to find me and he knew I was usually with members of the order of the phoenix and always at a place that was charmed or enchanted. Finally he gave in, but even then the next time he tried to stop me, that was in the shower.'

'I knew you can be determined and stubborn Harry, but that is just incredible. Would you have left though? You knew how dangerous it was, I was one of your guard at that point.'

'Yeah, I would have, not just from Sirius, but from the magical world. I was sick to death of everything, especially the danger. You realise how many times I'd almost died up to that point, how many times he'd tortured me, before and after. I figured if I couldn't have some relief with Sirius, then I was gone.'

'I get it, I saw how tense you were. You know one thing that surprised me since I heard about this.'

'I could imagine a lot of things surprising you about this boss.'

'Yes, that's true, but how did you keep going, how did you keep it together, how come you never cracked up, especially after Sirius died. Because we all know you blamed yourself for that, we saw it happen, saw you right after. Remus tried everything to hold you back, nothing worked, you're anger and sadness was incredible.'

Harry sighed and leant against his desk, 'There were times I would get so lost in my thoughts of Sirius, when I came to it was hours later. The longest was six hours I was gone for, just lost in my own head. I did start to think I was losing it, but then Dumbledore explained how we were going to stop Voldemort, then how I had to stop him after Dumbledore died. Right after Sirius died Dumbledore showed me his memory of when the prophecy was told to him. After getting over the initial shock of that, I realised it would come down to me in the end. When these lost times started to get worse, I forced myself to concentrate on that, on Voldemort, anything to distract me, anything that would keep me focused on him and off Sirius.'

'Like with Ginny,' Ron said quietly.

'Okay, you should know this, first, I knew she liked me, I figured she could have some good times with me before I die. You know I never thought it would be me that would kill him, I always thought he'd kill me. I thought I could keep the fact I was gay a secret, give Ginny some memories of our times together. One thing Ron, you know this, I never said anything to Ginny about a future or how I felt apart from liking her which I did, still do, but just as a friend, a girl that's great to be around, funny, someone I could talk to about anything. We had some good times together, that's what I wanted for her so when I died, she'd have that. But that's not all, I did like the fact that she was a good distraction, from Voldemort Ron, not from Sirius. Dumbledore said it to me, don't keep thinking about him, take some time away from that, it would help me focus. It was his suggestion that I spend more time with Ginny. Another thing, if I was straight, we would have been good together. You know what I was like when I brooded, she never let me, similar to Charlie in a way, won't let me get away with anything.'

'So without meaning to use her, it was that and it did help. Look I hate the fact my sister got hurt over this, but you were honest with her about how you felt and about the future. So it's all good, I just can't say what she will do when you see her next. She's still quiet, hardly ever talks or spends time with any of us. I think there's more to this, but she still refuses to talk about you.'

'Yeah,' Harry sighed.

'I know we shouldn't be talking about our personal lives, but I need to know one thing here Harry. The time at Hogwarts, you were back with Ginny, but nothing like you used to be, even with all of us. We saw you after Sirius died, yeah, you were quiet, but nothing like you were when we went back,' Seamus said.

'It was over Seamus, he was dead, I had nothing left to focus on, so thoughts of Sirius was so strong I found it hard to live with. I worked out that not talking, that concentrating on my work was the only thing that let me get through all that. I figured if I studied hard and I could get the marks I wanted, it kept Sirius out of my thoughts and when I start work that would also help and it all did. If I had one moment to myself, nothing to really concentrate on, he was there, all the time. With Ginny, every kiss she gave me made me think of Sirius, that's why I tried not to do anything with her, I couldn't.'

'Okay, that makes sense.'

'Harry, about the sex though, Ginny told us you two had sex, but you're gay, so how?'

'Susan, a gay bloke can have sex with woman, it's easy,' Kingsley said, 'Most boys automatically think of sex with girls when their young. It's just the way we're raised and what we see, boy girl, mother father, aunt and uncles. Gay relationships are only now being recognised and accepted. We never saw all that, so we went with what we know. Simon and I both admitted we had sex with girls and we knew we were gay, but with a lot of blokes, it wasn't accepted, so we tried to act like other boys, so sex with girls.'

'Charlie said the same to me, even though he knew he was gay, he wasn't sure his family would accept him, so he slept with a few woman but knew it wasn't him, he couldn't keep doing that. Then he started doing what I was doing, going into muggle clubs and picking up men.'

'Is that what you did, pick up strange men?' Parvati asked.

'Yep, then Charlie showed up and we talked, nothing happened with us. But every bloke I started to check out, Charlie went after. He told me later that he was hoping to get me so frustrated I would take him on because he'd been lusting after me,' Harry chuckled making everyone else laugh, but with Harry, he cleared the air and admitted to himself it made him feel better, about himself but also about his life and a future, one with Charlie.