It's Thanksgiving!
America's house was filled with nearly all 50 states, all ready to celebrate Thanksgiving. The tables were filled with turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes and gravy.
"Well, how is the party everybody?" America's voice boomed out while he stuffed his face with hamburgers.
"Hey, America. I don't think you should be eating that stuff before the big dinner," Vermont said, walking up to him.
"Why? Is something wrong?" America asked him as he slurped on a Coke. Vermont rolled his eyes. "We're gonna have a Thanksgiving family with the entire family, you know. I think you should save your appetite until later," He told America. "And…." He started, and America leaned in closer. "What is it?" He prompted.
"Did..you invite your sister to the party as well?" He asked.
America smiled, though it was filled with sadness. "No, not this year," He replied, putting his coke and burger down, "I don't think she's ready yet."
"But it's been over a century! Don't you think it's time to-" Texas stopped when he saw America's expression darken even more, "I'm sorry." He mumbled.
America grinned. "It's fine!" He shouted as he hit Vermont on the back, "We're all going to have a grand old time!"
A caribbean man and a white woman were lounging in the back of the living room, reclining in the comfortable chairs.
"It's time you all accept me as the 51st state!" Puerto Rico exclaimed, rocking back and forth, "I'm an equal to all of you!"
"Nooo, I don't want that! I want you to be our cute little territory!" Florida squealed, squeezing Puerto Rico's cheeks. She wore her usual camouflage and combat boots. "I don't want you to be grown up!"
She made a strange noise when her long, black wavy hair was pulled back. Her head was thrown back, and her gaze was met by a caribbean woman looking down at her.
"Hey, I feel him. We should be treated like adults by now," She said. Florida gave a quizzical look. "Who are you?" She asked. The woman glared at her. "I'm the Virgin Islands." She stated as a matter-of-factly.
Florida waved her hands. "Sorry, sorry. But things are complicated. You can't just snap your fingers and voila! Become a state or anything. It takes time." She explained. She had to stifle a laugh at the sight of Puerto Rico and Virgin Islands' pouting expressions.
There was a rapid knock at the door, and the one to open it was Oregon. "Hey, look who it is!" He exclaimed as Colorado stumbled in, "How are you?"
"I'm good," Colorado answered, "Could you hold this for a minute?" He shoved several boxes into Oregon's hands.
"What is this?" Oregon asked. Colorado grinned. "Brownies," He answered. Oregon's eyes narrowed. "Brownies? Did you lace these with anything?" He questioned.
Colorado's grin widened. "And why would you ask that?" He countered. Oregon smirked. "You sly bastard, always up to no good."
"So," Hawaii looked at Alaska, who was wearing a tshirt and shorts, "Why are you wearing such miniscule amount of clothing?
"Um, for me this is really warm," Alaska responded, "You on the other hand, seem to be really uncomfortable in this weather too."
Hawaii grunted as she curled up into a ball, wearing several layers of jackets. "None of your business…" She grumbled.
"Hey, no problem. We come from two different climates," Alaska laughed, "There's nothing wrong with it." Hawaii grunted as she turned away from him.
Everybody froze when they heard the chorus of gunshots and the honking of horns from outside. Everybody began to panic, running and jumping around the house.
"Gyaa! It's the mafia!" Illinois screamed as he ducked under the dining room table.
"Aren't you part of the mafia?" New York asked. Illinois poked his head out. "Oh, yeah," He said, "Gyah! It's the cops!"
"I'm a cop, remember?" New York said again, flashing his badge. Illinois laughed. "Oh, right!" The two stared at each other, wide eyed.
"Everybody hide! D.C. and I will get the guns!" America shouted as he grabbed a pistol. D.C. followed suit, and they both aimed at the door while everybody else ran for cover.
After what seemed an hour there was a knock at the door.
"Do ya think they're here?" A gruff voice asked.
"Who knows. Let's give'em a surprise then!" Another voice exclaimed. Both America and D.C. gripped their pistols in anticipation.
The door burst open, and several figures charged in.
"We've got the beer!" Texas roared, holding a several cartons of alcohol.
"I got us some fine deer tonight!" Missouri grinned wildly, waving the carcass of a deer around.
"In the name of the Lord, let us have the finest elk of the land!" Tennessee reloaded his still smoking shotgun.
"There's nothing better than a stuffed boar!" Florida proudly presented her boarhead.
"Oh, it's just the Southerners," America wiped his forehead, "You guys scared us."
"Heheh, my bad!" Texas stumbled to him, his arms full with alcohol, "I brought the stuff."
"Alright, put'em over there!" America pointed to the kitchen table. Texas gave a little salute as he led the other newcomers to the kitchen.
"Whew, that scared me," New Jersey sighed with relief.
"Heh, I was completely fine!" Maryland declared. New Jersey looked down. "Is that why your legs are shaking?" She murmured. Maryland turned red. "Shut up!" She shouted.
Suddenly California barged into the room."Don't worry babes, if anything happened, I'll protect you!" He said.
"Oh dear me," Maryland smirked, "I don't need any saving, but," She nudged New Jersey with her hip, "She needs all the protection she can get." She winked at the blushing New Jersey.
"Hey, I don't-" New Jersey grumbled but was swept off her feet by California. He flashed a smile. "No need to be shy, Jersey." He said, and New Jersey blushed even more furiously.
D.C. stood over the Southern states, who were kneeling in front of them. "What the hell do you idiots think you are?" He screamed, "You scared us!"
"It ain't our fault," Texas retorted, "Ya'll overreacted."
'Yeah," Mississippi added, "We ain't done nothing wrong!"
"Yes, it is!" D.C. growled, and a shiver went down their backs. "You lot always seem to act up. You all need to calm down!"
"Hey, it's our lifestyle!" Missouri complained.
"You can't tell us how to live our lives!" Tennessee added.
D.C. slapped his forehead. "Damn it you guys," He muttered. "Why don't you guys get it?"
Ding dong! This time, the person at the front pressed the doorbell, and America ran to the door to open it.
In front of him were around a dozen or so men, all dressed up as ghosts. "Trick or Treat!" They shouted. America laughed nervously. "Uh huh, Halloween was last month," He said, "No candy for you."
The men looked at each other. "We're not looking for candy," They murmured in unison, before turning back to America, "We want our land back!" They howled, and America shrieked. He stumbled back into the house, nearly crying.
Then the men burst out laughing. They took off their masks and hoods, revealing light brown faces filled overflowing with glee.
"See that? I told you he would fall for it!" The oldest one wheezed.
"Good job chief, I bet that'll appease the spirits for a few decades!" Another one cried out.
America got back on his feet. "Oh, it's the Native Tribes," He mumbled, "Why do you guys always do this?"
"I apologize, but antagonizing you is always too fun," Pueblo, the oldest of the group, answered.
"Damn it, it's not funny!" America shouted. Cherokee scoffed. "Still childish as always," He muttered. America stomped towards them. "If you think you can harass me today, you're wrong!" He exclaimed.
"Whoah, whoah, whoah, you have it all wrong," Nez Perce put his hands up, "We're here to join in on the celebrations too. Because you know, Thanksgiving!" He pulled out a tray filled with a variety of fish.
"What? Why would you want to celebrate with us?" America asked, "It's not like it has any significance to you."
The Tribes looked at each other again. "Do you...not know the story of Thanksgiving?" Cherokee questioned, "It's a day of thanks-"
"Yeah, but what does if have to do with you?" America asked again. Pueblo sighed. "You know what, does it really matter? We want to join in on the fun too, you know. We get bored," He said, "We got nothing to do but gamble away our money, and that's not exactly the best past time…"
"And speaking of that, I've been hearing some construction behind you guys. Are you guys building a casino in front of my house?" America demanded, looking behind the group.
"No no, not at all!" Cherokee answered quickly, blocking his view. America eyed him. "If you say so…"
"We also came for a different purpose." Pueblo explained. He pointed to the house. "We would like that house back."
"What? No way this is my house!" America shouted. Pueblo scoffed. "Yeah, just like all of this land and resources am I right?" He and the other Tribes started to laugh out loud again.
"No, he's right," One of the Tribes stated, and the others stared at him. Out from the crowd came Apache. He looked up and down the house. "I built this house, and I sold it to him. Probably the only fair deal I made with him, " He looked at America. "I mean, if you want to give it back that's fine with me."
"No no I like this house!" America said frantically, "Guys, why don't you join us for some Thanksgiving fun?" He quickly ushered in the Tribes into his house.
America stood at the head of the table, which was filled with every Thanksgiving food ever conceived. The 50 states, the several territories and the dozen Indian Tribes sat on either side.
"Everybody, the time has finally come!" He shouted, "The moment we've all been waiting for! The feast!"
"But first," He said, "A little something from Tennessee." He gestured across the table, and Tennessee stood up. "I want to say a little prayer before we start," He stated, putting his hands together, "Dear Lord, we thank you for watching over us throughout this turbulent year, for protecting us against dangers and calamity that have threatened us. We are all here thanks to you, and we enjoy this hearty meal in your name-"
"I can't take this religious stuff anymore, I'm eating!" Massachusetts interrupted before grabbing a plateful of mashed potatoes.
"I second this!" New Hampshire exclaimed, taking a large chunk of a turkey leg. The other states also began to dig in, filling their plates with food.
"Hey, stop this!" Tennessee shouted, "Do not interrupt the Lord's prayer!"
"Yeah! This is not acceptable!" Alabama hollered, raising her fork in the air. The Southern states increased their complaining, before the entire table was a loud mess.
"Hey you guys," America said, "Can we just calm down a little?"
"No!" Puerto Rico shouted, and America leaned back in his chair. "Oh, okay…" He muttered.
"We must have a Thanksgiving commemoration Powwow!" Pueblo declared, getting out of his seat. The other Tribes got up as well, following Pueblo. They donned paint and got out drums and flutes. They began banging on the drums, and they started dancing around the table, singing and chanting.
"For the Great Spirit Mother!" Pueblo shouted.
"For the Great Spirit Mother!" The other tribes echoed.
"Oh man," America put his head in his hands, unable to take all of this in.
"Mmm, this stuff is always so good!" Mississippi swallowed the green bean casserole. She took another spoonful and delicately placed it in her mouth, moaning as she chewed.
"Stop it. It sounds like you're having sex with it," Missouri snapped. Mississippi looked at him. "And? What if I want to have a sexual relationship with the casserole?" She winked, before closing her eyes and groaning as she licked the gravy. Missouri watched her with disgust. "Jesus, you're ruining my appetite," He grumbled.
Mississippi touched his thigh, and he jumped a little. "You need to enjoy life more," She whispered.
"No, you have to control your hormones!" Missouri responded.
"So, Kentucky," North Dakota pointed at Kentucky's lap, which was occupied by a large bucket of fried chicken, "What is that?"
Kentucky froze. "Fried Chicken," He replied. North Dakota rolled his eyes. "I know, but why? We already have food on the table."
"'Cause it's good," Kentucky said before putting a large piece of chicken in his mouth. He chewed and swallowed.
"Um," North Dakota said, "Could I have some?" He asked. Kentucky's eyes widened and he hugged the bucket of fried chicken. He shook his head before going back to his chicken.
"Oh, sorry," North Dakota apologized, before going back to his stuffing. He felt tapping on his shoulder, and turned to see Kentucky holding a piece of fried chicken. He put it on North Dakota's plate, and went back to his bucket of fried chicken.
"So this is a turkey," Hawaii said, poking the turkey on her plate, "It's so big."
"Then you've never had a turducken, I presume?" New York asked. Hawaii looked at him with a confused look. New York gave a little scoff. "It's a chicken inside of a duck, inside of a turkey," He explained, "Thanks, Paula Deen!"
Hawaii's eyes bulged out. "What? That is unbelievable!" She went to her bag and pulled out an entire pizza, filled with different sorts of fruits. "I'd rather have pizza instead…"
"Is that pineapple on your pizza?" New York screamed, and other states turned their heads in shock, "Heresy!" He exclaimed.
There was a sudden knock at the door. A heavy fist pounded, resonating the entire house. The feast stopped, as all the states froze as whoever outside tried their best to bust their way through.
"Um, should we be worried?" Michigan asked.
"I think I'll go get the gun," D.C. suggested.
"This is a message from the Great Mother!" Pueblo proclaimed.
The pounding resumed, making everybody jump.
"Hey~It's me~" A female voice rang out, and America turned white. There was more banging. "Why didn't you invite me as well~?" There was a slur to her voice, as if she had been drinking beforehand. "Isn't Thanksgiving all about family? Aren't I family?"
There was a loud crash, and everybody saw the glass fly across the living room. America and several other states quickly rushed over to see what was going on.
In the middle of the living room they saw a red-faced woman, swaying and holding a bottle of whiskey. "You!" She drunkenly shouted.
America walked over to her, grabbing her shoulders to stabilize her. "You're really drunk. Go home," He said in a stern tone.
The woman immediately broke down, collapsing on to her knees. "Why didn't you invite me?" She wailed, "I want to spend time with everybody too!" She hiccuped, both from all the crying and alcohol in her system, "I'm lonely!"
She grabbed America's waist, and put her face against his stomach. "I spend every year drinking alone!" She sobbed, "I want to be a part of the family too!"
America looked down at her, before turning to the states staring at him. "Is this...is this my fault?" He asked, and everybody nodded at once.
"Should've invited her," Texas noted, and the Southern states nodded in agreement.
"Let's bring out the drinks!" New Jersey took out the beers and started chugging them. Colorado began distributing his special brownies. The Tribes hotboxed the entire kitchen with their pipes. And so America had to stand in the entire mess while the woman rolled around on the floor, crying and screaming while the surrounding states laughed at the situation.
Happy thanksgiving everybody! I hope you all enjoy your turkey and mashed potatoes. And if you're not from the US, I hope you have a nice day anyways!