Chapter Thirty-Nine
Grand King engulfs him entirely, teeth tracing around too sensitive regions until Shouyou is forced to react; squirming brings sharp edges digging under his balls and the older boy makes a noise around the twitching flesh. Say it. The middle blocker pushes himself back until the wall's teeth are digging into his spine but Grand King follows, clenches down until a shameful groan rasps from his throat; Shouyou's body reacts without his permission, pulling himself both towards and away from bloody, pointed edges. "Stop!" He screams, makes an attempt to push too perfect hair away from there, but the pressure around his manhood tightens until Shouyou screams again.
"Oikawa!" Whispered because he can do nothing more, his hands droop until they're lingering on broad shoulders. The pressure dissipates until there's only sparking air on his slicked skin, the older boy pulls back and Shouyou feels wisps of hair slide across his fingers. "Again." Snake eyes glance up at him, a merciless grin lingering under his twitching area. "Oikawa." He pants, a horrifying mixture of relief and terror make his entire body tremble harder in unison with the chilling blood soaking into his skin. "Say that you're mine." Grand King leans forward, bloody lips approaching his scarlet streaked genitals; Shouyou leans back, "I'm yours." There's a hum of approval that sounds more like a growl, then the older boy jerks forward until Shouyou's back is colliding with an unforgiving wall.
The older boy swallows him whole and Shouyou is almost lost without the pain radiating from Grand King's touch, spongy muscles that are sticky with blood and spit curl around him and draw vicious noises from a burning throat. He can't find any more screams, his voice feeling like a match that won't catch and Shouyou is left quiet and still; the middle blocker grabs onto the older boy's shoulders, digging into them until his fingernails start to hurt, the pain as a whole thrums throughout his entire body and allows him to disconnect from whatever is happening down there. Shouyou watches Grand King's cheeks sink in and his throat convulse, listens to distant groans that he feels more than he hears. He lets Oikawa control him.
Grand King seems to notice his change, the setter's hands stop biting into his legs and he's eased onto the cement in front of Grand King's feet. "Say it again." The words are said to his dick, blowing gusts of iron over his throbbing muscles. He wonders when that had happened, Shouyou stares at the twitching appendage, concerned because it doesn't feel bad. "Oikawa." He offers, not looking into snake eyes that could be mistaken for brown or at the smug smile the older boy gives him before taking him in again. The sensation is odd, like rubbing at numb skin instead of too hot lightning that floods every vein until he calls out the name of his protector. Shouyou sinks his fingers into the older boy's shoulders again when the rubbing starts to affect him, grabbing onto his entire nervous system and tugging it through there.
His body convulses and his elbows scrape against rough concrete, too large hands spread across his hips, Shouyou watches the older boy trace over still bleeding injuries with foggy disinterest. His skin doesn't feel like his skin, each touch he know is there is dulled because he knows that it will hurt to feel everything. The older boy's index finger finds a store of not quite red settled in the crook of his navel, Shouyou watches as his skin is traced over and can feel his nerves reacting to the touch, twitching away like he has a chance of escape; Grand King traces too familiar lines across his rib cage, the finger stops against his heart, the blood smearing into almost nothingness as the older boy finishes the last piece.
"Mine, right, Shou-chan?" Shouyou nods.
His shorts are pulled up, separating his thighs from gritty concrete and sealing off pools of spittle and substances he cannot bring himself to identify. The hem of his shirt presses into the back of his neck, keeping his contracting chest in Grand King's sight. The older boy stares down at his work and Shouyou stares down at him, "You're so beautiful like this." A comment from the older boy that Shouyou is certain he wasn't meant to hear, a second later there's a flash and the middle blocker flinches from the noise that accompanies it, "Take a look." A too bright screen pushed in front of his nose, Shouyou takes in his dazed expression, the smears of red he can see around Grand King's phone as well as on it. Mine. His chest reads that, too far up to be an imitation of Suga-san's. "Did you have a good time?" The taller boy looks down at him with a smile he's seen on TV. "Yes." He lies because it would be dangerous not to, he nods in additional confirmation and the screen is pulled back from his face but the corruption remains.
"I had fun too, it's a shame you didn't get me off, though." It sounds like an invitation. Shouyou doesn't accept, "Sorry?" He offers, lifting his shirt over his head to cover too many blood stains. The older boy shrugs, offers him a too big hand that still has blood on it; Shouyou accepts it, latches onto the hand the same way Grand King's eyes settle on his face. "You're just too cute for anyone, you know that?" Shouyou thinks he might, nods slowly because standing is taking too much pressure from his head. "I'll take you home." He nods again, feels his brain shifting with the motion until everything turns blurry and his legs feel heavy under him. "Same place, right?" Shouyou nods, feels almost thankful that Grand King is taking most of his weight as they walk through the path made by dim streetlights.
Once they get closer, only a street away from Daichi's house do his senses return, he rolls over the fresh events that flash across his eyes with each throbbing in his neck and chest. Suddenly, Shouyou isn't sure that returning to his home in Miyagi is a good idea, isn't sure if it's safer to show Daichi his injuries or to have Grand King keep petting them. His feet are on Daichi's steps before he can make a decision and Grand King is already walking down the street, Shouyou lets out an ancient sigh and finds the door unlocked. The middle blocker tugs off sweaty shoes and almost the rest of his clothes before he decides to escape into the bathroom, the small white box is sitting beside the sink and Shouyou flicks it open with unsteady fingers. He tugs out the half-empty bottle of antiseptic and drags sizzling relief over smeared red, the box lacks gauze and bandages, but his injuries have stopped bleeding and he finds safety in a too big scarlet jacket.
Kenma presses against his back and lingers against raw skin, Shouyou tugs the sleeves over his hands and pulls the collar until it's digging into his chin. The middle blocker cleans up not-red from the bathroom sink, washes away sizzling swirls of dead skin and Grand King's touch until the small room is exactly as it had been before. He can't bring himself to shut the light off, he lets the yellow cast on the floor guide him towards his captain's open doorway and slinks inside. Double checking that nothing was showing, Shouyou allows himself to squirm under an extended arm and let the warmth drag him away the ice settled into his core.
The night is exhausting, each pulse from his body brings a sting that he can feel even in sleep and Daichi's hand is settled across where Grand King had written on him. Mine. His rest isn't deep enough for him to escape bloody teeth and his mind forces broken feelings into his subconscious. Shouyou dreams about Oikawa, bloody smile, that moment of not wrong that felt not bad, everything about the older boy makes his heart race in fear and sleeping doesn't allow him the escape he craves. His back is soaked from where it had been pressed against his captain's chest and his heart was racing from an almost unfamiliar rhythm against his, it was as soothing as it was nerve-racking and Shouyou almost felt bad when he forced himself to slide out from under the sturdy body and comforting grip.
Shouyou can feel everything when he finds his feet under him, pulsing terror and clamping teeth sinking into his skin like last night had never ended; the middle blocker works his way into the bathroom, locking the door behind him before he unzips Kenma's jacket and places it by the sink. The mirror is almost too tall for him to see the lowest part of his neck where he can still feel Grand King's breath soaking into his skin along with his bite, his fingers fill in on the places he can't see. All of the wounds are small valleys filled with blood turned black, they sting the more he thinks about them and he forces himself under a steaming stream of water where the wounds can be forgotten. Shouyou watches too many specks fall into the splashing water by his feet, witnesses the not-read streaking down his abdomen as Grand King's mark is rinsed from his skin. The message is still there, can feel each stroke of the captain's fingers lingering over his skin as well as he can each stinging bite. He stares down for a long time, taking in trembling legs along with his dick. The trembling worsens when Grand King's mouth ghosts over him with too strong teeth and an acidic tongue. What's in between them. Another flash had ruined him; Shouyou turns off the water.
He's careful about the towel, knows that his wounds are still fresh and he'd rather not explain anything at the moment. The walk back to Daichi's room is also something he does carefully, tugs out one of his captain's too big shirts and lets the fabric swallow up damp skin, Kenma's jacket covers his neck and back in ways that the shirt doesn't seem to. He takes in his captain's sleeping face through the dim glow from the hallway, stares at peaceful lines that are still hard, even in sleep, and wonders if Daichi ever dreams about rough hands and bloody lips. Shouyou doubts it, exits the room with and takes up residence in the kitchen, pulling out pans from the shelves just high enough for him to reach and begins to prepare breakfast and lunch.
The middle blocker stares into the fridge for a long time, staring at the last fragment of duck. Coming to terms with the truth was hard, knowing that something that goes quack could be stored in a fridge had been close to devastating, he's not sure why he feels more sympathy for a duck than himself. A duck can't say yes. The last of the meat is carved into strips and seared in the same pan as the eggs and kelp, he packs the rice cooker and listens to sizzling and beeping to take his mind off of other noises. Say it. Shouyou remembers his screams like he had witnessed them instead of performing them, the burning from the night before had subsided but the taste of those words refused to leave. I'm yours.
Shouyou shovels food into bowls and bentos, cleans the rice cooker and the pans slowly until they're left leaking in the dish strainer leaving Shouyou with nothing to do but eat. The middle blocker isn't sure why he finds eating more of an inconvenience than anything, he thinks it might be the trembling in his hands that force him to use a spoon or the fact that his throat burns inside and out whenever he swallows. There's time to clean his useless chopsticks, spoon and bowl by the time Daichi comes into view. "Good morning." The older boy offers and Shouyou returns the greeting with a nod, offering his captain a bowl full of eggs and rice.
"You're not wearing pants." Daichi comments, working a pesky egg fragment between his chopsticks only to drop it for a third time; Shouyou shrugs, "I'm not." He agrees, pulling the not empty bowl from in front of Daichi and cleans it quickly, letting it sit with the drying pans. "Is there a reason your butt is pressing against my shirt?" Daichi raises an eyebrow when the middle blocker sends him a look, "I could be wearing underwear." The other boy stares at him and Shouyou wonders why wearing a white shirt was a good idea. "It's not like anyone's here."
"Just my parents." Parents, as in more than one. "What's your mom like?" He doesn't remember a time where he's ever asking Daichi about the people that live here as well. "Uh-Mom-like, I guess?" A shrug accompanies the answer, Shouyou frowns, "Did she secretly get your aunt to put drugs in your food and then ignore you for six years?" The middle blocker watches his captain's body jerk at his words, Shouyou isn't sure where the bitter tone had come from and almost apologizes but Daichi just shrugs. "Maybe not drugs, but she used to be really sneaky about putting vegetables in my dessert." The middle blocker laughs before he can help it, offers his captain an awkward smile. "You always yell at the team for not eating their vegetables." Daichi scoffs, cross his arms with a pout.
"I don't yell, I suggest."
"Didn't you punch Tanaka-senpai for refusing to eat his carrots?"
Daichi waves his hand, "Semantics." Shouyou blinks, not really sure what to make of the unfamiliar word. "Ready for work?" The younger boy pouts at the question, "But I'm not wearing pants." The older boy shrugs, locks himself in the bathroom and Shouyou is pretty sure that he can hear water running. The middle blocker heads back into Daichi's room, drags his gym bag open and pulls open his phone. There's a number of messages on his phone but Shouyou opens Kenma's first.
"Take your pills." And nothing more, he pouts at the cracked screen between his fingers, types out a greeting to the older boy before moving on. The next one is from Yamaguchi, offering to buy him breakfast and Shouyou isn't really sure what to make of the message, he contemplates if declining would be more rude than accepting but settles on questioning the boy's motives. The pinch server's reply is too instant for Shouyou's comfort, the taller boy insisted on doing so. Without much choice, Shouyou agrees and offers the boy thanks. Yachi's message is next, offering to reschedule their tutoring session along with six apologizes in that message alone, the middle blocker agrees to that as well, asking the manager to be what time would be best.
Shouyou doesn't open the last message, lets his trembling fingers throw the plastic back into his gym bag and tugs on shorts without looking into the container again. Curiosity and dread swim make his feet fumble as he makes to stand and Shouyou almost gives in to the urge to know; he thinks it might be another promise, another moment against a wall with too big hands pinning him and brown eyes analyzing his every thought. Daichi stalks past him, an irritated expression on his face as he does. Shouyou watches the older boy, lets dripping water take his attention away from the stinging on his sides. "That was fast." That irritated expression is directed at him, "My dad decided to do his laundry as I was in the middle of showering." The middle blocker nods, not really sure how that's relevant. "It uses up all the hot water." Shouyou takes in the goosebumps covering dripping skin and laughs at the older boy's misfortune; Daichi glares at him, only relenting to pull on a shirt.
They run into Masuo when they're about to leave, the older man snickers wickedly around a mouthful of eggs before thanking him for the breakfast; he offers the older man a nod, surpressing a smile because he's pretty sure he can hear Daichi's teeth grinding get progressively louder for each second Masuo continues speaking. The older boy tugs him through the front door after Shouyou makes a point of staying to continue the conversation, even if he doesn't find it particularly interesting. "So what is it that they do?" He hadn't exactly been listening when he had asked Masuo himself. Daichi shrugs, "I think they sell farm equipment through an office in the city." Shouyou almost comments that after eighteen years of living with the same parents that the older boy should know exactly what his parents did. Instead, he lets the older boy lead him down the road, kicking up rocks until his captain decides to stop being annoyed with his dad.
Daichi leads him past the plucked pea plants, towards a building that Shouyou hasn't noticed before. Sending an expectant look at his captain, the older boy starts to explain, "This is a stable, there's animals in there." Shouyou swallows loud enough for Daichi to notice, "No ducks?" He squeaks, almost terrified that this is where their lunches had come from for all these weeks. The older boy chuckles, Shouyou thinks it might sound more menacing than intended. "No ducks." The older boy confirms, sliding open a wooden door and stepping into the darkness without hesitation, something that Shouyou wishes he didn't admire. The middle blocker waits by the door, letting early sunlight warm up his back while Daichi rummages around in the stable.
Patches of light show up on the ground in random intervals until Shouyou can almost make out Daichi's form shifting around in the building in front of him. Too many shadows are squirming around for him to stand still and the dark haired boy backs up a step, more patches of light spread across the ground and walls until Shouyou can make out the floor and the shape of Daichi's head; he takes a step forward, into the dim building and inhales dust and what he thinks might be poop. "Windows." He notices, looking at each hole in the wall that allows faint beams to spread across the inside of the stable. Shouyou takes another step forward and someone breathes loudly against his ear, he jumps back expecting a person not an animal, "A horse?" He asks the sniffling beast, Daichi hums in agreement appearing beside him with a big hand to rub at the thing's fuzzy brown nose. "They're kind of scary up close." Daichi gives him a look at his comment then drops his hand from the horse's face, only to snatch his up and force it onto course fur. It twitches under his hand and Shouyou is pretty sure the beast's breathing is getting as frantic as his.
"I think she likes you." The older boy comments but Shouyou is more focused on not meeting the horse's eyes. "Does it have a name?" Watches as his captain rolls his eyes instead of the too big eyes of the animal in front of them. "Her name is Kasshoka." Shouyou rolls his eyes at the name, gives the fuzzy brown nose a pet in sympathy for having a terrible name and moves to the next enclosure while Daichi pours a bucket of something into the cage Kasshoka is trapped in. "What's your name?" He asks to the next cage housing a white horse, brighter than Shouyou thinks should be possible when the creature lives in a cage of dirt. "Shiro." The middle blocker lets out a long sigh he doesn't think he deserves and gives Shiro a pet on his too white nose while Daichi pours another bucket into the cage. The last cage holds a horse as well, it takes him a while to notice the creature when compared to the other two, its head barely reaching over the edge of the cage. "Hiyake, I guess?" He asks with dripping disapproval, the older boy scoffs out a laugh, "Daichi, actually."
Shouyou blinks, then cackles loudly until he's forced to use Daichi's cage as a support. "Why'd you name a horse after yourself?" He asks, dodging the swipe his captain makes at his head, the older boy sighs loudly, pouring another bucket into Daichi's cage. "My dad did it." The older boy mumbles something as he walks away, tossing the bucket onto the dusty floor and moving towards the exit. Shouyou follows quickly and watches the older boy push the door closed. "Are they new?" He asks once they're walking away from the stable, Daichi nods, "Got them in a trade." The middle blocker frowns, not really sure how to feel about trading lives, especially for beings that can't say no.
"They're kind of cute." Only a little, he admits to himself, letting his feet fall into step with Daichi's. The older boy glances down at him, smirk crooked in his direction, "I thought you said they were, and I quote, scary." Shouyou shrugs, he had found Kenma scary at first but then fell harder than he had any right to. He doesn't tell Daichi that. His captain leads them back to the house and very carefully throws himself into the bathroom to have a real shower; Shouyou waits in the older boy's room, staring at his bag with a feeling of unfinished business. He knows that ignoring the issue that was Grand King would only make it worse. Each time he had ignored the older boy for extended periods of time bad things happened. Shouyou had a feeling that the intervals for Grand King's outbursts would grow shorter and shorter until everyday became one remember with scars and mine.
The older boy's text is innocent enough, bidding him good morning and nothing else, Shouyou expected a paragraph of threats and promises to be kept; pulling a response out of himself is hard, too frightened to say the wrong thing, indefinitely more terrified to not respond at all. The middle blocker ends up sending an echoed greeting and throws the plastic back into his bag before Grand King's teeth can sink into his hand. Daichi returns sometime later and the excess terror must show on his face because the older boy is suddenly dripping on him, asking him too many questions at once. He nods where needed, tries to confirm that he's not dying but his voice won't catch in his throat. His captain relents after a too long moment of staring and offers him a tight smile that Shouyou forces himself to return. "I have to get something before we go to school." Daichi's face is guarded but curious, the older boy nods without a word, tugging on sleeves and buttoning his shirt.
Daichi carries all of their lunches as Shouyou leads him past stained cement and offers him a place on the bench where the bus would stop soon. The middle blocker can feel his captain's eyes on him, but he ignores the gaze in favor of staring at the big mechanical monster headed towards them; Kiyoko-san steps off of the bus, pushes her big book into her bag and she stares at them, he pulls the older boy onto the bus before the door squeak shut, barely allowing his captain to offer greeting to their manager. The ride seems longer with Daichi next to him instead of Kiyoko, he's not sure how to explain in but eventually the tires squeal to a stop where they usually do and he leads his captain off of the bus and towards a pair of cement steps. The older boy's questions start to make him nervous the closer they get to Sato's apartment, warnings about bringing people here ringing at the same time Daichi warns him the danger of travelling to strange places without warning. Daichi's eyes catch on the dog chain as he tugs it out of his gym bag, he waves it in front of the older boy's face for a moment before shoving it into the lock.
Shouyou shoves the door open and leaves it that way, neither inviting Daichi in or telling him to keep away, but he can feel his captain enter the room and sense his curiousness from across the room. Bright orange is tugged from his other bag, he offers his only photograph to his captain while he grabs a glass of water; when he returns, now medicated as well as hydrated, Daichi's shoulders are shaking and Shouyou is pretty sure that the older boy will start crying if any words are exchanged. Instead, he leads the bigger boy out of Sato's apartment, locking the door behind him and offers the key chain to him. "Natsu bought this." Shouyou watches his captain blink, eyelashes bunching together with restrained moisture.
"I heard that crying is healthy." Daichi snorts mucus and amusement back into his sinuses. "If Noya and Tanaka ever saw that, if Suga ever saw that-" The older boy doesn't continue, offers him a shrug instead of an explanation. Shouyou rolls his eyes, already feeling lucid from the recent medication. "They'd think, wow, Daichi isn't a robot." Daichi flinches at his words and Shouyou smiles as an apology, "I can't believe captain has more than one emotion." He whispers to the older boy behind his hand, Daichi chuckles into his fist and attempts to give him a hard look that the middle blocker ignores. "Who told you that?" Daichi asks quietly, once the bus jerks into motion. "TV, I think?" The older boy laughs, but nods to himself. "I don't think I need to anymore, but... I'll uh, keep that in mind?" He's not really sure why Daichi is making this weird, the older boy had seen him cry, had seen him naked and covered in bites -some his own, most not- Daichi had even treated his friend's stab wounds without reacting. "It's okay to be human, especially around me and Suga-san." His captain frowns at the mention of his best friend and Shouyou leans forward, offering support as best he can.
"I've always been the strong one, there for him whenever he was lonely and stuff." Daichi swallows loud enough for Shouyou to hear every movement in the other boy's throat, "I always thought he would... grow out of it, I guess, but I never did." The middle blocker nods, grabs onto the older boy's hand when it moves to rub at his face. Daichi's hand squeezes his before he continues speaking, "Sometimes, he just shows up, already crying and I'm not sure what to do. I hate seeing that." Shouyou is pretty sure that there's more to it than that, but doesn't push; His captain how he and Suga had met in the same middle school, how he had accidentally threw a kid off of a slide because they called Suga names. The middle blocker laughs along with his captain, feeling closer and farther away with every admission, wishing that he could see these interactions the same way Daichi does, with fondness instead of heartbreak. Daichi stops talking when the bus pulls to a halt, he waits for the older to wipe his face before they step off of the bus steps, they walk down the street quietly and Shouyou is content to think about nothing of consequence.
"Is that where you go when-?" Shouyou nods and hates the relief that crosses Daichi's face, "Guess you just get lonely then?" The middle blocker swallows, suppresses the ghosting sensation of ripping his own skin off because of how alone he was. "Something like that." He offers and the older boy falls silent with nod; they make it to the club room but the entrance is blocked by what he assumes to be the entire team. "You're late, Daichi-san." One of the second-years comments, Shouyou isn't really sure of his name and decides to tuck himself against Daichi's side lest the guy try to talk to him. "Sorry-sorry, I had an errand to run." His captain's hand settles on his shoulder and the older boy guides him towards the locked door everyone is congregated around. Shouyou follows the path that Daichi sets for him, tugging him away from the club room door so the other's could get inside, he's pretty sure that's just a captain thing. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are the last ones in line but they do not enter the door and Shouyou finds himself in a staring contest with the taller boy before the blond shoves something in his direction. Shouyou stares at the something.
"Coffee?" He questions, slightly shocked that cups could get this big, the other middle blocker makes a disgruntled noise and forces the cup between Shouyou's smaller hands. His fingers are unable to wrap around the container and he was pretty sure that his hands were going to fall off if he continued to carry it. "It's breakfast." Yamaguchi explains, waving from beside Tsukishima; Shouyou stares at the taller boys, then with great hesitation, he bows to them. "Thank you very much?" Yamaguchi's cheeks flush with color but a twisted giggle follows him into the club room, Tsukishima follows after giving him a disgusted noise.
"That was odd?" Daichi says after relinquishing the cofee's weight from his fingers, Shouyou hums in agreement. "Very odd." He affirms and guides the older boy, who is now sniffing at his breakfast, into the club room. "It doesn't smell poisoned." The older boy laughs, Shouyou smiles but lets it drop while he takes another glance in Tsukishima's direction. The other middle blocker, Shouyou notices, never looks completely innocent, even tugging on his practice jersey something about the taller boy is unsettling. He finds it oddly difficult to take off Kenma's jacket and finds his entire body shuddering in chills as he stares at the crimson fabric nestled in his hands, the middle blocker doesn't finish changing, pretending to be busy adjusting things in his bag. Only when the club room door falls silent does he drag his captain's shirt off his bag and pulls on a shirt his size.
After a long moment of struggling, Shouyou realizes that these collars are too low, every deed that Grand King had done to his throat was clearly visible and would be more so when he stepped into the gym. There's no excuse to be made, no wild animals to blame and he's pretty sure that wearing his club jacket would look even more strange than bite marks on his neck. When he makes his way out of the club room the urge to run makes his legs itch, he doesn't give in, forces himself to push in through the gym doors until he's standing on the edge of the court. The middle blocker is certain, in that moment, that the world freezes for a few seconds until everything is racing to catch up. The teammates that he's close with are crowding him immediately, firing questions spoken too quickly for Shouyou to understand; Daichi is forced to break apart the crowd with thundering claps of his hands, "Keep it until after practice."
There's grumbling but the group relents, returning to the court and Shouyou is left staring up at his captain. "We'll be talking about this." He's not sure what Daichi's tone is but he thinks he can hear as much anger is there is sadness, the older boy drags him onto the court by his shoulder, deft fingers ignoring his exposed injuries. His captain's eyes don't shift from him for the duration of practice, he ends up practicing solely with the older boy, the others being ordered away by their captain except Kageyama, who just glares at him until practice is over.
Daichi returns half of his coffee when practice over, the middle blocker stares at the older boy, perplexed. "How did you-?" There's a chuckle that smells like creamer before the older boy disappears, "Lunch?" Shouyou nods, not really sure how his captain can go from murderous to happy so quickly; he takes sips of the half bitter liquid between his attempts at studying and his hands are cramping and shaking. The middle blocker makes a quick stop before heading up to the third years' floor.
"Yamaguchi!" He calls from too close and the taller boy flinches, "U-uh, Shouyou-kun?" The middle blocker nods, "I just really, really wanted to thank you for breakfast! Even if it was just coffee, you ever notice how Kageyama always has the same thing for breakfast?" Tsukishima snorts, "Where did you get it from? Speaking of get, do you ever get the vibe that Tsukishima is like, a secret murderer or something? He always has this face like he's about to do something." Yamaguchi laughs until there's green tea dripping from his nostrils, Shouyou offers the taller boy a smile and then makes his way towards the door, "Anyway, I gotta go, bye!" The middle blocker waves himself off and darts up the stairs until he's leaning against Daichi's desk.
The mood drops as soon as his captain's eyes land on him, the older boy leans until Shouyou is able to count the hairs poking out of Daichi's scrunched up chin. "Who?" His blood starts to pump into his ears instead of his heart, his eyes dart towards Suga-san, who is keeping his distance but obviously listening intently. "Are you sure- here, I mean?" His captain nods jerkily. "I can't tell you..." He tries but the older boy grabs onto his wrist and squeezes it. "Who?" Lower and right into his face. Shouyou shakes his head, make a feeble attempt at tugging his hand away but Daichi's grip clenches harder.
"You need to tell me."
The grip loosens after that, he knows that it isn't by mistake and takes a step back. "I will." Daichi nods once to him and then to Suga-san. The silver haired boy shoves his desk against Daichi's and they share a tense quiet until Kiyoko arrives, offering greeting by throwing bread at each of them. "Thanks, Shimizu-san." Suga offers, ripping open melon bread and eating like nothing was wrong. Shouyou supposed, for the silver haired boy, that nothing was wrong in that moment, they had friends, food and were all of them pointedly ignoring that mine that has settled over each one of them. The middle blocker settles against Suga-san's legs, wishing everything would just stop, that he could take back the moment he had said yes, so Daichi would speak to him again.
The silver haired setter forces ripped up bread into his mouth and Shouyou lets him, not really sure how else to react; the older boy smiles down at him, "You need to eat more." Shouyou sighs, tired of people focusing on trivial things like that. Suga feeds him until lunch is over, Shouyou is thankful for the distraction from Daichi's contempt more than anything and quickly makes his way downstairs without a word. The rest of the day passes in a blur of emotions, the middle blocker is unable to comprehend any of them until he's cradled on a sofa that smells like noodles and blood. The apartment is lonely, more so when he can hear the lives of people around him from the window looming over the couch. He knows his guilt is earned, knows that when Daichi offered to listen that he should have taken it; the entire team is tense, scared of Suga-san's mysterious injuries and confused at Kageyama's silence. All my fault, he realizes eventually, tugging Kenma's jacket against the chill piercing through warm autumn air.
As much as he wants to blame anyone else, Shouyou knows that if he were gone that everything would go back to normal. There would be no mine, no captain worrying too much, no setter drawing on him with his own blood, no reason for anyone to fear the shadows. No Kenma.