Yes, I changed my pen name. Still the same person inside though.

Author's note: not as good as I would've liked, but I hope it'll do for you. Though I know the last few chaptrs of a story are s'pose to be the best to leave an impact, I'm sorry. I won't try to give an excuse on why my standard has plunged, maybe I'm just a shitty writer. Please enjoy, or whatever you'd prefer. React any way you want to, really. But just in general, enjoy.

Matt

I woke up that morning by the sunlight that creeped through the gaps in the curtains, but mostly by the fact that my arm was numb off a certain blonde lying on it all night. I was a bit confused at first as to why Mello was in my bed, but then it all came back to me suddenly. Me and Mello, we had taken it to a whole new level. We did…it. All the way. MORE than all the way, I'd think, since he went down on me before that too. I almost couldn't believe how lucky I was. I mean, now I get the gist of why everyone wanted him, though I wasn't in it for the sex, I swear. Now, though, I was just afraid he hadn't enjoyed it as much as I did. I mean, I didn't last that long.

As if on cue, he stirred next to me, eyes blinking open suddenly. "Oh, Matt..." he muttered groggily, sitting up slowly while rubbing his tired eyes.

"Hey..."

He smiled at me, stretching his arms above his head. "My back hurts."

" Sorry," I replied sheepishly, sitting up as well.

"It's not your fault. Haven't been in that position for a long time."

My eye twitched. As much as I tried to forget, I couldn't forget his 'history'. And though I didn't hold it against him, it made me really insecure. "Uh, Mello."

He hummed a reply.

"H-how many people have you slept with?" His eyes widened like he was shocked. Who could blame him. Hell, even I was shocked. But I felt like I needed at put myself at ease, dig out the rotten past if I wanted to have a bright future. I stared at him, waiting for his response.

"...Five," he answered calmly.

"Five?"

"Yeah."

Of course I wasn't dumb. There couldn't ONLY have been five. Nick, Mark, Mr Stephen, Noah, Jake and that dude from the concert. That's more than five. There was probably a lot more than five. And they were all probably handsome, tall, every girl's dream. Mello's dream. And then there was...me.

I could feel the frown form on my face and Mello could see it too. "Matt, don't do this to me."

"What?"

"I mean, I can sense it you know, that you're afraid I won't be...faithful. I know I was a terrible person before. I stomped on peoples' hearts and shit. But you've got to believe me now. I changed, God, I swear. So please." His eyes were pleading with me. But how could I tell him this wasn't his fault at all?

"It's not you, Mello. I don't know why you would think that, but it's me. It's all me. You're the one everyone wants and I'm just...Matt. I'm not anything special."

He got angry then, crawling on top of me and pushing me down so I was completely on the bed, just like last night. "Hey, Matt, listen up. I chose you for a reason. You are special to me you hear. What the fuck is going on in that brain of yours that you would ever doubt me, or yourself for that matter? Do you really think I'd tell someone that I loved them and then dump them the next day? What kind of bitch do you think I am?" I would have said something but I didn't dare to, not with how strongly he was reacting. "I'm not going to let you to talk about yourself that way."

He sighed deeply then, straightening up so he was sitting directly on my crotch.

Against my better judgement, I added, "I guess I'll never be your first anything, huh."

"What?"

"You had Noah as your first...y'know. Mr Stephen as your first date. All your firsts have been taken; what's left for me then?"

He smiled warmly then. "As stupid as it sounds, you're my first boyfriend."

What? "Really?"

"Cross my heart."

That was...news. Who'd have thought, out of all the people he's ever been with, I'm the one he stuck with. And though I wish I wasn't so insecure all the time, I had no helping it around Mello. It wasn't because I thought he couldn't stay loyal, but more of the fact that everyone was trying to snatch him up. But I had hundred percent confidence in him.

"Come on then, Matt. Let's take a shower." He pulled me off the sheets and led me into our bathroom.

We had another round in there.

After which, we got down to serious washing. Mello washed my hair, fingers nimbly untangling the strands and scrubbing my scalp. It felt like heaven in his hands and I could stay in there forever. Before I could savour the feeling any longer, he gave me a hug all of a sudden, wrapping his arms tight around me. I wanted to question him, but something gave me a feeling he just needed some time to think.

Before I knew it, he was crying, the tears mixing with the shower water and leaving streaks down his face. He buried his face deeper into my shoulder as I patted his back, still not speaking.

"Matt..." he sobbed.

Although it was heart breaking, I felt accomplished. This meant that Mello needed me. He needed my support, probably just as much as I needed him. And that meant so much to me.

"Matt, I-I'm so h...happy you're here with me," he sniffed out, still holding me tightly.

That's when I realized something: even though Mello was self-centered, selfish, arrogant and stubborn, I couldn't have cared less. He finds the best ways to make me feel like I'm in the clouds, whether he realizes it or not. I don't think anyone else has ever made me as happy as he does. And I was determined to do the same for him. Be it whatever, I made a silent vow in my head that I would be there for him no matter what, just like I've always been.

"I'm happy I'm with you too," I soothed, kissing his forehead softly.

It's only been a month and this relationship may not last til the day we die, but it didn't matter. I would give him forever.