LMAO OMFG! I READ A HILARIOUS FANFIC!
Nancy: Really? HOW FUNNY!
Me: AS FUNNY AS XANXUS RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE AS TSUNA SAY'S, "I'll eat your brrraaiiinnnsss~!"
Nancy: SHOW MEEE!
Me: DISCLAIMERS FIRST!
Nancy: FINE! SKYSHAYMIN DOESN'T OWN KHR! NOW SHOW ME-
Me: Here you go! *shows her the fanfiction*
Nancy: *after a few paragraphs, she begins laughing her ass off*
(There might be some characters that are ooc... I dunno, you point it out yourself. Too lazy... *snore*)
I stared out the window. It has been 3 days since I was kidnapped, and I had tons of fun with the Varia.
And no, I didn't lose my virginity, but I accidentally walked into the bathroom when Squalo was changing...
I was scared for the first time in my life. I never thought Squalo would have a cute ass though...
WAIT, DON'T THINK LIKE THAT! I'm begining to sound like a pervert...
Though, I am one :D
"VROIIIII! WHO STOLE THE TURKEY!" A voice yelled. Annddd... I just pissed off Squalo again. I enjoy this.
Stealing the turkey, I mean. Can't help it...
It's soo...
Turkish...
You know you can't resist the turkey, and niether can I. It isn't lady-like to leave her food cold. So, I asked Bel to cook it for me.
"Ushishishi~ As much as I like the fact that you stole the turkey, I won't cook for a mere pheasent." He said, stabbing me with those insults. I fell on the couch with the turkey on my lap.
Then... who should I ask to roast the turkey...?
"VROIIIII! WHERE'S THE FUCKING BRAT THAT STOLD MY TURKEY!"
Crap! I have to cook it and eat it fast! But when it comes to cooking... specifically since I'm easily distracted... who-
"SHUT UP, TRASH!"
XANXUS! Xanxus should cook the turkey with his guns!
Ok, that sounded way to wrong, even a kid would notice that...
or not. *shrugs*
So, I walked up to the two tall (but very red... like red oak or something) doors, and knocked.
"Come."
"Pfft..." I held in a giggle. Being a yaoi girl for 3 years, and knocking on one door for the other to reply, 'come', is funny.
And I know you were thinking the same thing. *evil smirk*
I walked into the room where Xanxus was in front of the fire place, sitting on a very red arm chair that seems expensive. I mean, look at that! It has a leg-resty thingy! That's sooo cooolll!
Erm, back to the moment...
"What do you want, trash?"
"Why do you call people trash?"
"Cause they're trash..."
I nodded my head like I understood him and took a seat next to him. Apparently, this chair is like what Xanxus has, but it's...
purple...
'Gahhh! Now's not the time to think about Mukuro or Hibari!' I inwardly screamed, 'It's turkey time! Not fangirl-obsessed-with-a-hot-anime-guy time!'
"Trash, if that's all you're going to ask, get the fuck out..." He muttered, clearly stating he doesn't want me to stick to him.
"How rude, didn't you're mother tought you to be nice?"
"Mother? Ha. Don't make me laugh..." He replied, looking away. Ok, now it's 'force-xanxus-to-tell-his-sad-story-so-he'll-like-me' time...
"Don't tell me..." I gulped, "She... She turned into a bird and started stalking peo-"
"Fuck no! Where did you even get that idea, trash?" He yelled, clearly surprised. Yay! Xanxus is gonna have to tell me or else I'll assume she turned into a bird and started stalking people...
Which reminds me, I wonder how's Hibird doing... cute little birdie.
"She was a..." Xanxus then paused. He gave a stare. Like an empty stare, the ones that are entirely blank and you can't read there minds unless you're Reborn.
"She's a what, Xanxus-nii?" I asked, raising an eyebrow when he flinched. Like, literally. Was it because I called him Xaxus-nii? I should, shouldn't I? I mean, he's older then me. I looked back at Xanxus, who was staring at me.
I think...
I think he likes it!
"Trash... get out."
"Whhyyy!"
"You're wasting my time!"
"B-b-b-b-b-but!"
"No buts! Out!"
I pouted, "Fine! Geez, you sound like as if you're gonna masterbate..."
"Trash..." He growled, letting a dark aura envelope the whole room. I think that's my cue to get the hell out of there. I walked to the door, but as I opened it...
"VROIIIII!"
"HIIEEEE! HE'S HERE!" I yelped, seeing Squalo at the far end of the hallway. And he's soo far... but I bet he can still see the turkey I have under my arm...
"..." He's staring. Stare.
"..."
"...Nice weather we're having, huh?" I said, before closing the door very slowly.
Click!
"VROIIIIIIIIIIIII! SO YOU HAD THE FUCKING TURKEY!" He yelled, clearly angry. 'Crap! What do I do! Wha do I do!' I stared at Xanxus, who stared at the turkey.
"Trash..."
'Oh no, he's gonna kill me!' I screamed inside, seeing a minature me pulling my hair out like a mad woman. I gulped, 'Now's not the time to think about death! Laugh in his face, girl! Like you always do!'
BANG! BANG!
"VROIIII! OPEN THIS DOOR YOU SHITTY BRAT!"
'But this situation doesn't seem laughable!' I cried. Xanxus, being the stare monster again, grabbed my arm and threw me on the bed (which I totally forgot exsisted) and grabbed the turkey. He then opened the door.
"VROII-"
SMASH!
"You got your turkey, now shut up." Xanxus smirked, happy he actually got the chance to stuff the turkey into Squalo's loud and noisy mouth.
And with that, Xanxus shutted the door, and the whole mansion went back to it's normality... well, as normal as it can get anyway.
'He saved me... from the sword-weilding, turkey-loving, cute-butted, pervert...' I thought, tilting my head sideways. Rather, I should put my head back to it's place, cause somehow, Xanxus is staring at my neck...
"Why...?"
"Hm? What is it brat?"
"Why... can't you call me Nancy-chan?" I asked, Xanxus face-palming. No, seriously. Dispite the fact the Squalo just got told by a turkey, I'm still curious why he hasn't called my name yet. So far, he called me a brat and trash...
Not very creative, huh?
"Cause you're trash and will forever be trash." He replied, grabbing the whine glass that-came-out-of-no-where. He stared into the red wine before taking a sip.
When said man was taking the sip, I asked innocently, "Then, If I was your lover, would I still be considered trash?"
SPLAT!
"F-Fuck! What the fuck was that?" Xanxus yelled, wipping his mouth after that epic spit. It looked like he's a vampire that tried tomato juice, naivedly thinking it was blood stored in a can.
"Uh, just asking you a question... or..." I smirked, "You never fell in loved before?" At that, Xanxus turned his face away.
D'awww, that's so cute :D
"Don't worry, you're not alone in the world of having a first love!" I said, abit... too... proudly... "And I'll tell you a secret!"
"What...?" Xanxus was still staring at the opposite wall, but I guess he's listening closely.
"I had my first love," I smiled, but then I remembered, "Ah, but then again, he rejected me-"
"WHAT THE HELL!" He yelled, looking back at me. I tilted my head abit.
"Didn't you cry... or something?" He asked. I snorted.
"Heck no, I'm sure if I cried, he'll just bite me to-"
"Oh, so you're first love is Hibari Kyouya." He interupted. I stared at him before my face went pale.
'CRAP! I LET IT SLIPPED!' I thought, earning a smirking Xanxus.
"So... do you still have feelings for him, brat?" He asked. I stared confusedly at him. Was he...
Was he concered about me?
"Awww, don't worry! I know you're concerned, but there's plenty of fish in the sea!" I said, standing on the chair with one leg on the armrest. I was smiling truimpha-
Whack!
"Trash. You're really annoying, y'know..." Xanxus sighed. Great, why did I have to meet everytime I say something that makes sense? I will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nuthin' but the truth. :D
"Hey Xanxus..."
"What now?"
"Ever thought about having sex with Squalo?"
"..."
"What's wrong...?"
"Say that again, and I'll kill you." He replied, pissed off somehow. It's like... Oh!
I smirked evilly.
"So, you have been-"
Click!
"Say it, and I'll pull the trigger." Xanxus said, putting the gun against my forehead.
"Y'know..." I began, "You're gun feels like a spoon." At that, Xanxus face-palmed and I laughed my ass off.
BAM!
"Ah! Here you are, Nancy-chan!" Lussuria called out, happily entering the room. He grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room, shutting the door, leaving the boss in an akward position.
-Where are we going, Lussery?-
I stared up at Lussuria. He was dragging me down the hallway, walking fast. It's like he's about to show something I will really like...
"You said that you're into fanfictions, right?" Lussuira suddenly asked, still dragging me down the hallways. Damn, this is a huge mansion...
"Yup, specifically the yaoi ones... why do you ask?" I replied, raising an eyebrow. Since when does Lussuria ask me a weird question...?
"Hm~ I thought so." He then stopped at a door with another tall brand of oak or some kind of tree design. He knocked on it slowly.
"Come in."
"Hehe..." I giggled. What? I can't stop myself from being perverted!
...
And you can't either.
"You should say it more seductively." I said, opening the door, only to be faced with Akira and Midoki. Midoki, same as usualy, was about to throw a pillow at me for saying something so perverted, while Akira was scolding me for being late.
What did I do wrong here?
"Anyway, let's get to the point." Akira pulled out a small case, with the Vongola cresent. This box looked exactly like the one in...
W-wait, don't tell me...!
"You, Guardian of the Moon ring, is now an official Vongola Guardian." She said, pulling out the silver ring. Like the rest of the rings, it had curls on the side, but in the middle, mine had a moon cresent. It wasn't even in half either. It was full, which means...
"You better appreiciate this." Midoki suddenly said, making me snap my head in her direction. "I don't like to waste my energy on something stupid that involves the mafia, so I'll give you the other half of the ring."
I can't believe this...
I'm the Vongola's Moon Gaurdian?
"W-wait! This must be some misunderstanding!" I said, shocking them, "As much as I think this is cool, I can't fight." 'I can't protect, either' said a small voice in my head. With that, I ran out the room, shaking my head.
"Wait! Nancy!"
'I need to get out of here...' I thought, running blindingly through the empty hallways. I then somehow ended up in the kitchen. 'Maybe... cooking can help...'
But then I remembered I don't know how to cook a decent food, other then...
that...
I blushed. It's been so long since I made it. It was my first and favorite cake I'd ever baked, with the help of Jennifer, of course.
"I wonder..." I said outloud to myself, "Maybe the Varia would like to try some..."
- DINNER TIME TO THE EXTREME!-
"VROIIII! YOU'RE LATE!" Squalo yelled.
"Ushishishi~ There you are, pheasent." Bel laughed eerily.
"Trash." Xanxus glared.
"Finally!" Midoki groaned.
"Hi, Nancy." Akira nodded.
"Oh~! There you are, hunny!" Lussuria gushed.
"Boss was waiting, brat." Levi scolded.
"Yare, yare..." Mammon sighed.
'Everyone...' I thought silently, staring at the roasted turkey on the table with different foods were placed by it's side. I silently wonder if they'll have enough space to have my cake...
'Well, it's not like I asked them to eat it...' I blushed slightly, bending down my head to stare at the floor.
WHAM!
"VROIIII! WHAT THE HELL'S YOU'RE PROBLEM!" Squalo yelled, slamming his fist on the table. Only this time, I flinched. And for some reason, everyone stared at me. Like as if they were concernd...
WAIT! A-Are they?
"Dudes and dudettes!" I said, though it sorta came out shaky, "I have a surprise!" And I was hoping they'll reject the idea...
"What is it?" Akira asked, smiling. It's like she's trying to...
seduce me...
I should really stop my pervertedness...
But then it makes life fun. :D
"It's..." I hesitated, staring down at my feet, "A cake..." I mumbled...
"Cake?" Everyone said, repeating what they just heard. 'Ah, that's embarasing...' I looked at the side, staring at the wall painting of... is that a flower?
"Oh, so that's what you've been up to after you ran." Lussuria pointed out, making me feel like my face is on fire. Literally, I HATE it when I get so embarassed. I should straight out say I baked a cake and want them to try it.
"Um..." I took a breath and looked up at them.
Though it didn't last long as I saw there evil smirks. I turned my back and was about to run away-
Until someone grabbed my shirt. 'C-crap, I'm caught...' I frowned.
"Oh~! So the girl made a cake!" Midoki smirked deeper.
"Ushishi~!" Belphagore, always being the freak, laughed and pulled on my shirt, practically taking it off.
"Hey hey hey! The shirt's gonna come off!" I yelled, "It's like you wanna see my boobs!"
"I'm not interested in a pheasent's small chest," He smirked, "Though, I know someone who lik-"
"VROIIIIII! SHE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT!" Squalo yelled, his face turning red. Know what? What happened?
"What? What happened? When did this happen?" I asked, bombering them with questions with my cute tilt of my head.
I always love tilting my head. Makes me feel...
Cute... lolz
"Brat, forget it..." Squalo groaned, shaking his head so he could beat down his blush. I laughed abit, sighing in reliefe. So, it's seems like they forgo-
"Oh, I want the cake." Xanxus said, pointing a fork at me. I sweatdropped. My cake...
"I want some, too!" Squalo smirked, pointing the sword at me, "Well? Get going!"
I groaned in embarassment as I went back into the kitchen and grabbed the plate the held my cake. A chocolate cake with caramel swirls (which took forever since I'm such a goddamn perfectionist when it comes to art) with strawberries with chocolate swirls on it. It looked good...
I almost felt sorry Xanxus was gonna eat it. D:
My pretty cakkkeee~!
"Oi! What are you-" Squalo walked in as I held the cake in front of me. It's pretty big, and heavy...
"W-what...?" I stuttered, my face turning pink. Great, I'm blushing again...
"That's..." I heard him gulp softly, "That's pretty impresive..."
"E-e-e-eh?" I squeaked, wide eyes on Squalo please, because he's praising me?
It's SQUALO! Y'know? The one that got mad at me for staring at his ass when I -accidentally- interupted his shower!
"Brat, let's show this to the boss." He mumbled before walking out of the kitchen. I followed suit, but was confused. Is my cake really that impressive?
"Vroi! She's here!" He yelled, though it was above normal volume. As soon as I entered the room, everyone stared at me.
"E-eto..." I stummered out, why am I acting so shy? I stared at the cake and pouted. It's the stupid cakes fault. Stupid delicious, sweet, chocolatly, innocent, cake...
...
"How'd the fuck you make that?" Xanxus blurted out, making even my ears turn red.
"Uh... from food?" I replied, turning my head at the wall with the weird painting of a flower.
"Ushishishi~! So, the pheasent can cook something like that!" Bel said, smirking. I turned my attension on Akira and Midoki, who both had an expression of shock.
"T-that's... so cool..." Midoki managed to say, blinking to see if the cake I'm carrying is real. She turned to Akira, even Akira had a hard time wondering how the hell I made this.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulders. Like, gently...
"That's beautiful!" Lussuria smiled, brightly radianting some sun flames. Seriously, it's like the man is on fire...
But then again, this is Lussuria were talking about. He's the sun guardian of the Varia after all.
"T-Thanks..." I muttered, before putting the cake on the table. And before I knew it, everyone tried to get the first piece. Mammon, finally being noticed in the crowd, thought I should have the first piece. I smiled thankfully at Mammon before cutting myself a piece. Ah...
HOLY CRAP! W-wait... this is the best! The best one!
And then with that. The Varia wanted me to make cakes on special occasions. Specifically on birthdays. Then, somehow, Sqaulo thought it's a good time to find out some things about me.
"So, brat, where'd you learn this?" He asked, earning a well-quieted room. I stared at the ceiling thoughtfully for a second, replying that I learned it from a friend who recently turned into a good chef. With that, Squalo asked me even more questions.
"Where'd you live before meeting the stupid brat's house?"
"America." At that, everyone's forks and spoons and whatever fell on the table with a clank! sound. I stared at them for a bit. "What?"
"The brat's from America." Xanxus started, furrowing his eyebrows.
"The kid's from America." Squalo came next.
"She's speaking fluent japanese." Midoki.
"She can speak engrish, too." Akira.
"America has alot of money." Mammon.
"America's mysterious." Levi.
"Ushishi~! She's a princess then?" Bel.
"I don't think so." Lussuria.
I stared at them, they were all sitting in a small circle, discussing about me. I felt my eye twitch.
"Don't ignore me..." I whispered agrily, pouting. I grabbed my cake and ate the remainers of it and sighed. The cake was definatly the stress/angry reliever...
I should use it on Hibari!
'No, wait! You're not suppose to think about him!' I thoughted, grabbing my hair. Though, I completly forgot the Varia was staring at me. 'E-even so...'
'I don't think Hibari-san won't like my cake.' I then furrowed my eyebrows, 'But then I don't know if he likes sweets or not.' I scratched the back of my head. 'Maybe I should give it a try. And give Tsuna some of the cake, too.' I then clapped my hands and smiled. 'That's a good idea!'
"What the hell was that?" The Varia said at the same time, making me giggle.
"Just thoughts of a girl-"
"Who's first love is Hibari Kyouya." Xanxus interupted, that goddamn smirk on his features as the rest of the members turned to me with mouths gaping. Oh no...
Why did I tell XANXUS about my first crush-but-it's-not-there-anymore-seriously...
"J-just don't ask..." I said, glaring my best glare. It sadly didn't work, since I had a faint blush, but screw that! I'm not gonna answer any questions about my love life anymore! Though, as I said that, the Varia just smirked and continued the dinner, smirking at me deeply whenever I met eye contact with them.
Jennifer paced back and forth. It's been 3 whole days since Nancy was gone, and she has only one clue who took her.
The Varia.
"It's only them. Why else would they not kidnapp her?" She mummbled to herself, worrying Tsuna, Gokudera, and Yamamoto. The silverette was also impatient, but he knew the Varia was not to be takin' lightly off. He... lately he's been noticing somethings. Like how the house got mysteriously quiet without Nancy's precense... Has Nancy made a really large impact on the family? He smiled softly before hiding it. It's probably because she keeps saying preverted things and making people laugh.
Suddenly, the phone ranged. Tsuna looked back at his friends before going down the stairs to answer the call. Though, what shocked them to no end was who was calling the Sawada residence.
"Trash. There's something here that you might want back." At that, Tsuna paled. 'Just what was the Varia doing to Nancy-chan?'
YAY! I finished this chappy! I'm proud to say lolz and soooo sorry for the long wait. ANYWAY! Now that Tsuna finally know's Nancy-chan's with the Varia, what's the phone call gonna be about? Will Tsuna save Nancy? Will Squalo get a new turkey? Will Gokudera kiss Yamamoto?
Actually, the last one don't count. So, yeahhhh...
Anyway! I know some characters are... out of character (ooc) but it's hard to keep up with them. Whenever I do a dialoge, I keep thinking I'm forgetting a Varia member, which makes me think of Fran. And I'm not close to the future ark yet... All well...
Review so Gokudera can get molested by Yamamoto XD