It's a Christmas Party!

America's house was again filled with the states, ready to celebrate the Christmas spirit.

"Yeah! Nice party!" California exclaimed.

"Thanks!" America replied. He put his arm around California. "I appreciate you guys coming from all over to celebrate with me!" He grinned. California smirked. "Hey, we're all bros," He said.

"Come on, hurry up!" Maryland growled at the wheel, glaring at the horse carriage in front of her. She honked her horn several times. "Hey, you obsolete piece of crap, get out of the way!" She turned to New Jersey sitting next to her. "Sorry," She apologized. New Jersey shrugged. "Eh, it's fine. These clothes-" She looked at her outfit, which was a santa claus-bikini outfit. "-are kind of embarrassing."

"Then why did you wear it?" Maryland asked with raised eyebrows. New Jersey turned red. "It's not like I wanted to!" She shouted, "I was forced to! By Mississippi and Louisiana!"

"Sure, sure," Maryland chuckled with a wave of her hand. "I get you." She turned back to the wheel, honking several more times. "Hurry up!" She bellowed.

Then the driver of the horse carriage turned his head. He had choppy hair and a scraggly beard, and wore a wrinkly black suit.

Maryland pounded the dashboard. "Dammit Ohio!" She shouted. Ohio grinned, flipped her off, and then went back to driving the carriage.

Maryland stared with her mouth open. "You little…" She muttered as she drove right up to the carriage. She was head-to-head with Ohio.

Maryland rolled down the window. "Hey, dick," She called out. Ohio kept his eyes straight in front of him. "What do you want," He said. Maryland glared at him. "You know what! Driving this old piece of crap!"

"It isn't old, and it's not crap…" Ohio mumbled.

"Oh? In the age of cars?" Maryland taunted. Ohio grumbled incoherently under his breath. Maryland let out a loud laugh of victory.

Then the curtains to the carriage door slid over to reveal Pennsylvania sitting inside. "Oh hey, Mary, hey Jersey," She said, "Going to the party too?"

Maryland nodded. "Yeah," She replied. Pennsylvania smiled. "Yeah, Ohio was kind enough to drive us to America's house the old way."

"Us?" Maryland arched her eyebrows. Pennsylvania nodded, and another person leaned forward to reveal himself.

"New York?" New Jersey said. New York flashed a smile. "Yo," He waved.

Maryland smirked. "Oh, I see. You two are on a date, and Ohio's the third wheel!" She shouted.

Pennsylvania and New York blushed. Pennsylvania covered her face with her hands. "No, no no no," She muttered. New York smiled. "That's not the case, unfortunately," He said. Pennsylvania's eyes widened and she swiveled her head. "You did not!" She squealed before hitting in the shoulder. New York chuckled. "Hey, hey, it's a joke," He put a hand on her shoulder. Pennsylvania turned away from him with a pouty face.

"And that is our cue to leave," Maryland said, and pushed on the gas pedal.

"See you at the party!" Pennsylvania shouted as the car zoomed away, and Ohio flipped up his middle finger at the back of the car.

Back at the house, things were getting strange.

"Gyaah! Who the hell brought the cheese cake! It's made with actual cheese!" Somebody screamed before fainting on the kitchen floor.

"Oh no, Wisconsin is at it again," Montana grumbled as he picked up South Dakota. "Come on, you bastard. Get up. It's not the end of the world."

"I was expecting a religious experience filled with sweet and creaminess, not melted Swiss," South Dakota wailed. Montana sighed. "That's gonna get Wisconsin on the naughty list," He whispered. He dragged South Dakota towards the couch in the living room, but it was already occupied by New Mexico and Arizona.

"I tell you, I saw something in the sky!" New Mexico exclaimed. Arizona made a grunting noise from under her bandana. "It's Christmas. It's Santa." She replied.

"But-but Santa's not real!" New Mexico shouted.

"And you believe in aliens?" Arizona asked.

"Oh, of course they're real," New Mexico answered. Arizona rolled her eyes to his chagrin. "They're basically the same thing." She said.

"Oh, come on!" New Mexico said in an exasperated tone. "They're totally different!"

"Yeah!" A girl with bobbed blonde hair jumped in the conversation.

"Oh, Minnesota," Arizona said. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, Arizona. Isn't it a bit cold for that?" Minnesota pointed to Arizona's outfit, which was a light bra and skirt with Christmas designs.

"It's hot back home, I think I'm fine now," Arizona replied. "He's crazy for saying Santa's not real but aliens are."

"Yeah, I know Santa!" Minnesota nodded her head.

Arizona was taken aback. "You know...Santa? He-he's not actually real, you know?" She told her.

Minnesota shook her head. "Nope, nope nope. I know him, and I'm related to him. He gets me presents every year," She said with a sigh. "He's really the sweetest, even if he is already a wife…"

"Wait, Santa is a wife? Doesn't he have a wife?" New Mexico asked incredulously. Minnesota grinned. "He is the wife. I feel kind of bad for him, he's got possibly the worst husband."

"Who's the husband?" Arizona asked tentatively.

"Krampus, of course!" Minnesota said, putting her hands on her hip.

"Krampus?" Arizona and New Mexico looked at each other in confusion.

"Yup, he's the Christmas demon!" Minnesota declared, "He abducts the naughty children and eats them! Or drags them to hell, whichever story you prefer."

"Holy crap that's dark," New Mexico commented.

"And why is Santa married to the...Christmas demon?" Arizona asked. Minnesota shrugged. "Beats me. Krampus used to own Santa so…"

"Own?" New Mexico shouted.

"Holy shit, that is some Stockholm syndrome right there," Arizona muttered.

Boom! Boom! Boom! The door vibrated as somebody pounded against it. D.C. scurried to open it. After he unlocked it the door swung open, and a group of women marched in, all scantily clad in different sexy santa outfits and fluffy boots.

"Which boy is on the naughty list? Santa wants to give out some punishments~" Louisiana sang as she swayed her hips, shaking her mini skirt. She led the group of Southern girls into the house, carrying whiskey and other drinks over their shoulders.

"Welcome, girls. Where are the men?" Michigan asked. Louisiana smirked. "They're doing their own thing. They're gonna come later." She replied. "So, how do you like this?" She twirled around, showing her entire costume. Michigan nodded. "Might want to cover some stuff up, but besides that it's all good."

"Silly Michigan, I did that on purpose!" Louisiana winked at Michigan before walking away.

"Huh, the Southern gals sure are something," California said. Montana nodded. "Yeah, they're too crazy when they get drunk."

"I wonder what made them that way? I mean, I'm all for free the whatever or something but they take it too a new level."

"Hey, I'm not complaining. Nice view."

"Me neither."

"And what are you boys talking about?" Montana and California turned to see Washington staring at them with a confused expression.

"Uh, the sky sure is a nice view!" Montana explained.

"Oh, yeah! The Pacific Ocean sure is beautiful at this time of year!" California added. Washington cocked her head. "Oh, okay then?" She turned around and went to the kitchen. Montana and California turned to face each other.

"Wait, why did we just adlib that to her?" California asked, "I don't think she would have minded."

"Yeah, actually I think she would have joined us," Montana said.

Hawaii was staring at all the girls in their very little clothing. "Crazy," She muttered under her breath, looking down at her own jacket. "They're all fuckin crazy." She turned to see Alaska with a beer. "Nuh uh, you better not be in a thong or anything," She told him. Alaska looked at her with a surprised expression. "What makes you think that?" He demanded.

Connecticut stared at the large Christmas tree in the middle of the room.

"Hey, how do you like it?" America walked over to him.

"Is this tree real?" Connecticut asked. America laughed. "Of course not!" He said, "Too much work, you know? I can just take this babe out from the garage, set it up and voila! A Christmas tree."

"Where are the presents?" Connecticut glanced up at him. America smirked. "They're coming, alright,"

Maryland and New Jersey stood in front of the doorway. New Jersey was shivering as she wrapped her arms around her bare skin, trying to cover herself against the snow. "Can-can we just go-go in already?" She demanded through chattering teeth.

"I want to see you suffer a bit more," Maryland replied. New Jersey scowled. "Come on, just knock already!" She wailed. Maryland stifled a laugh as she knocked on the door.

The door opened and there stood Mississippi, wearing nothing but fluffy undergarments, and red and white fishnet stockings.

"Mississippi…" Maryland stared in amazement. Mississippi whistled. "Ladies, welcome to paradise," She eyed New Jersey, who jumped into the house. "Hey, beauty. Lookin good, I see you wore what I recommended." She slapped New Jersey, who straightened up with a squeal.

"I'm not comfortable…" New Jersey whimpered as Mississippi guided her in, followed by Maryland.

"Don't worry, love. You're not alone," Mississippi stroked New Jersey's hair. New Jersey's jaw dropped. "Half of the girls here are-"

"Yeah, yeah. We decided this year to have a 'Sexy Santa' thing," Mississippi chuckled. "I saw California eyeing up some of our girls. Why don't you show him your body!" She laughed as she pushed New Jersey towards the hallway.

New Jersey's eyes widened and her face turned hot. "What? I can't talk to him like this!" She exclaimed. Mississippi turned back to face Maryland. Their eyes met, and they knew what to do.

Maryland marched up to New Jersey and took a hold of her right arm.

"Wait, what?" New Jersey said as Mississippi grabbed her left arm. The two women began to drag New Jersey across the hallway, who shrieked in terror.

"Chug, chug chug!" A group of men stood around Vermont, who was drinking an entire pitcher of eggnog. They all chanted as Vermont leaned back, letting the liquid dribble down his chin and flowing through his throat, making a loud gulping noise. The eggnog in the pitcher was slowly decreasing in volume, and the group held its breath as Vermont finished the last drop. The group roared as he threw the pitcher against the wall and wiped his mouth. He pumped his arm into the air. "Yes!" He shouted. "Let's do this!"

"Wha-wha-what is this?" Tennessee wiped his glasses to make sure what he was seeing was not real. He swiftly put his glasses back on, only to find that he was indeed in a reality. "Why are all the women dressed so indecently?" He demanded. "This-this is a sin!"

"Oh, quiet old man. Can't you drop the act for one day?" Louisiana crept up on Tennessee and latched onto his back. "Don't you like it?"

"No, no way!" Tennessee shook as he tried to push Louisiana off of him, but she kept on sliding up and down his body. "And you dare act like this on Christs' birthday?"

"It's the holiday spirit," Louisiana replied, putting her gloved hand under Tennessee's chin. "Why can't you enjoy life and drop this whole 'holy' act?"

"This is not an act!" Tennessee shouted angrily, "I will not tolerate this much sinning on such a devout day!"

"Maybe you're just boring," Massachusetts, who was wearing a santa costume walked over to Tennessee and Louisiana. "It's not all praying. It's about fun and joy."

"See? He gets it!" Louisiana exclaimed as she slid off of Tennessee and jumped into Massachusetts' arms. "He knows fun!" Massachusetts groaned. "I think you're getting the wrong idea, Louise," He said.

"Come on, come on!" South Carolina was in the bathroom, trying to pull North Carolina out. "Come on out, little bro!" She shouted. She was wearing a sleeveless two-piece short dress, and a large Santa hat.

North Carolina peeked out from the doorway. "No way," He declared, "I am not coming out." He pulled his head back into the bathroom. "Nope, I am not coming out," His voice repeated.

"Hey, come on! You are no fun!" South Carolina stomped her boots against the wooden floor.

"No! Why did you dress me like this?" North Carolina groaned.

"What's this?" Maine held a cup of hot chocolate in her hands. "What are you two doing?"

"Ah!" North Carolina tried to hide in the bathroom once more, but South Carolina pulled him out, revealing his outfit.

"Oh my God!" Maine squealed, "You two look so good!" North Carolina turned red as he glared at South Carolina, as he was wearing the same dress as her. "You little…." He mumbled.

"You guys look so cute!" Maine exclaimed, and South Carolina beamed. "I know right, but this idiot doesn't like it…" She grinned as North Carolina tried to cover himself.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Virginia hissed at West Virginia as he pulled her into the basement. "You're basically wearing nothing but underwear!"

West Virginia twisted her short blonde hair in embarrassment. "It's not that bad…It's warm and soft..." She whispered. Virginia groaned. "You're showing off your waist. I may be nitpicking, but you look like a whore!" He said.

Virginia said nothing as she looked down at the floor. Virginia stared right at her. "I'm doing this for you. You shouldn't dress and act like this, you're going to end up in a horrible situation. People will think of you as nothing more than a prostitute," He ranted, "It's also winter! You could get a cold or even hypothermia! Do you really not have any common sense? Just because the others are doing it, doesn't mean you should. You really are still just a child, acting without thinking…" He stopped when he heard the hiccuping. He looked down to see the glittering drops of water fall to the floor. "Uh, West-"

West Virginia looked up, and Virginia saw her face was completely red, and tears were streaming down from her large eyes. "I thought-I thought you would like it," She sobbed, "I wore this just for you." She put her hands against her thigh and waist. "Do, do you not like it?"

Virginia felt his face turn hot. "I, uh, um," He stumbled, "I never said you weren't cute." Through her tears West Virginia managed to smile, and Virginia pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry for being harsh. I just want you to behave safely," He whispered.

"I know," West Virginia whispered back, her head now in his chest. "I know. But I chose this for you…"

"Awww, they're bonding!" Virginia and West Virginia turned to see Georgia standing by the stairs, watching them with sparkly eyes. "Kiss, kiss kiss!" She chanted, before getting her long ponytail pulled back. She squawked as she was dragged up the stairs.

"Leave them alone!" Alabama's voice echoed down the stairs, followed by a loud slap.

The pair turned back to each other. "Next year...I think I'll just wear this for you," A blushing West Virginia said, "But not this year! I'm going to enjoy the party!" She smiled as she ran up the stairs.

Virginia sighed as he slumped down against the wall. The door next to him groaned as it opened, and out came the head of Utah. "Hey, isn't she your sister?" He asked with a wild grin. Virginia scowled. "Don't take it the wrong way. And we're not even related by blood." He said.

"Oooh, you're a pedophile!" Utah guffawed. "And you're incestial!"

"Shut up, at least I don't have 7 wives," Virginia snapped back.

"Hey, a wife for every day of the week," Utah replied with a wink. "You Southerners save some love for the family, eh?"

Virginia grabbed Utah's head. "I'm a former marine. I know how to split that damned head of yours in half in thirty different ways with just my left pinkie," He snarled, "So just shut your mouth and listen to me. Do not even dare insinuate that I have those sorts of feelings towards her. I love her as a sibling, nothing more. You keep your dirty thoughts to yourself." He dropped Utah's head, and he landed on the floor with a "Youch!" Virginia marched back up the stairs.

"Woo yeah! This party is amazing!" Texas shouted. He slumped down in a rocking chair. "Man, it's already Christmas huh…" He muttered.

"How many times have we celebrated Christmas?" Michigan sat down next to him. Texas shrugged. "More than I could count," He replied, "I can't remember every year, you know."

"We're getting old," Michigan said.

"Heh, yeah we are," Texas agreed.

New Hampshire had a plate full of food and was about to sit down when he bumped into some unseen force.

"Gyah! What the hell? Is there a ghost?" He exclaimed.

"No, I'm not," A voice replied, and New Hampshire nearly had a heart attack. "Then who-who are you?" He demanded.

"It's Canada," A figure seemingly appeared from thin air. New Hampshire jumped back in surprise. "What the-I didn't know we had a new state," He said.

Canada shook his head. "I'm not a state. I'm America's neighbor and brother."

"Oh, Canada! Why didn't you say so?" New Hampshire put his hand on Canada's shoulder.

"I did…." Canada mumbled.

"Hm?" New Hampshire gave a questioning look.

"Nothing, nothing!" Canada explained. "I just wanted to say merry Christmas and happy holiday,"

"Well, same to you!" New Hampshire exclaimed.

"You look amazing, Molossia!" Nevada told the angry micronation.

"Like hell I am!" Molossia replied, "I look stupid."

"Hey, reindeer are cool," Nevada replied, "And if America likes it he might recognize you as an actual country!"

Molossia perked up. "You think so?" His eyes sparked behind his sunglasses.

Nevada laughed. "Of course not! It's not that easy!" His smile faded when Molossia stomped away angrily. "Hey, don't leave! I'm sorry!" He shouted as he chased Molossia.

Rhode Island was sitting by himself, drinking some eggnog when someone patted his shoulder. He turned to see South Carolina grinning.

"Merry Christmas, Rhode," She said.

Rhode Island felt another pat from his other shoulder. He turned to see North Carolina standing there. "Merry Christmas, Island," He said.

"Why do you do this to me?" Rhode Island wailed.

Tennessee, Georgia and Alabama were standing out in the hall when Connecticut came out from the bathroom.

"Merry Christmas!" The three shouted.

"Happy holidays!" Connecticut answered.

The three stood there shocked. Tennessee stepped forward. "Did..did you just say 'Happy holidays'?" He sputtered out.

Connecticut gave them a confused look. "Yeah, why?" He said. Tennessee grabbed him by the shoulders and began shaking him. "You heretic!" he screamed.

"Fueh?" Connecticut made a strange noise as he was being shaked.

"You will burn in hell you Godless heathen!" Tennessee shouted.

"Burn heretic! Burn heathen!" Alabama and Georgia chanted.

"Aaaah!" Connecticut screamed in fear as the three surrounded him.

"Who the hell drank my whiskey and eggnog?" America shouted, looking at the empty pitchers. He turned around and saw Vermont, Maryland, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Texas, Arizona and Mississippi all laying on the floor. He slapped his forehead. "Oh my God, you guys!" He exclaimed exasperatedly.

Tennessee emerged from out of the shadows. "They're all going to burn in Hell," He muttered. America turned his head. "Dude, that's really dark," He said.

California was sitting in the TV room, watching the South Park Christmas Critter episode. "Oh my God, this never gets old," He wiped the tears of laughter with his hand. He reclined back in the chair and opened another can of beer.

From the entrance to the TV room New Jersey watched California. She squirmed as she held the present in her arms. I can't I can't believe I'm actually doing this, she thought as she began to hyperventilate. This is so embarrassing, but I have to do it.

She stepped into the TV room. California turned his head and had a look of surprise. New Jersey walked up to him, looking like she was going to explode from embarrassment. "I…" She started, but she had to swallow her nervousness and start over. "I'm, I'm your Santa, and this is a present for you," She held out the present towards California.

California was bewildered. "Thanks," He took the present with a smile. New Jersey's face went red, and she practically ran out from the room.

"Ride, Rudolph, ride!" A drunken North Dakota was on South Dakota's back, who was in a reindeer onesie. North Dakota wore a Santa outfit, and was now hitting South Dakota with a candy cane.

"Sis, get off me!" South shouted, but North ignored him. "Dammit, I was only out for 20 minutes, how did this happen?" He muttered.

Having enough, he stood up, throwing North Dakota to the ground. "Hey!" She raised her hand to complain, but toppled over, knocked out by the alcohol.

South Dakota looked at his twin sister. "How much did she drink?" He picked up the nearest bottle. He took a swig, and immediately felt his body shut down. "Well crap-" He fell to the ground, snoring.

The horse carriage stopped at the driveway.

"Finally we're here!" Ohio said. He jumped off and went to open the door. When he did, he found New York and Pennsylvania snuggling together. When they noticed him staring at them, they jumped apart.

"It's not what it looks like!" Pennsylvania shouted. "I swear!"

"I guess we're here then," New York said, choosing to ignore what just happened.

"Yeah," Ohio grunted. Pennsylvania and New York got out of the carriage, and the three went to the door.

When they opened the door they found the living room filled with sleeping people.

"Why is everybody sleeping?" Pennsylvania asked.

"And why are all the girls dressed like that?" Ohio added.

America stomped towards them. "Hey, merry Christmas," He said, "Your late."

"What happened here?" New York asked. America sighed. "They drank all my eggnog whiskey," America explained, "I was going to give it to England, but now I can't." He groaned. "They're all out of hand." He whined. "We can't even do the present exchanges now."

Ohio sighed. "Well, nothing we can do about that. Come on, let's get inside,"

Above the house, far out in the night sky, there was a red sled filled with bags. There were no reindeer, for the sled was utilized by Nordic technology.

"Hey Den, you got the presents ready?" Santa, a young man with blonde hair asked.

"Sure thing!" Denmark replied as he grabbed a bag. "This one's for America, right?"

"Yep, and they're coming right up!" Finland replied. He turned his attention to the man next to him. "Norway, add some of your magic so the presents hone in on America's house."

Norway nodded. "Sure thing, boss," He muttered, waving his hands as colorful sparkles surrounded the bag.

"Man, combined IKEA and Nokia technology sure is convenient," Denmark remarked. Finland laughed. "Yeah, it's pretty amazing," He said.

His chest pocket vibrated, and Finland took out his phone.

"Santa!" A female voice exclaimed.

"Minnesota! How have you been?" Finland said.

"Great! I'm at America's party at his house!"

"Well that's good to hear, I'm about to be there as well to do my job."

"Most of us are already passed out though."

"What? Do you guys still act like children?"

"I promise I'm not."

"Okay okay, see you in a few minutes," Finland put his phone away. "Well, let's do this!"

Well crap, it's Christmas! It's been a rough year, but I managed to survive! I hope you enjoyed this Christmas edition, and merry Christmas for y'all that celebrate, and a happy holidays for the folks that don't!

I had Ohio drive a horse carriage, and Pennsylvania and New York be passengers because all three states have large Amish population.

Minnesota has the largest scandinavian population out of any state, so is related to the Nordic countries.

Krampus is a scandinavian legend, a Christmas demon that takes naughty children back to his lair, where he drags them to hell or eats them. Either way, it's a good incentive to be a good kid back in the day.

Finland used to be a part of Sweden, until it was taken by Russia as a spoil of war.

Stockholm syndrome is where the victim of a kidnapping falls in love with his/her captor, even letting himself be abducted or aiding his abductor. Why the chose to name it after Sweden's capital, I have no clue.

I kind of stumbled into the Stockholm syndrome bit by accident really. I just thought of how if Finland was santa then Sweden could be krampus. And then I thought how they're "married" in the show. And then Finland has Stockholm syndrome cause he went back with Sweden even though he used to be Sweden's property(?). Holy crap, I think I might actually have thought up of a theory or something.