Ivypool POV

Toadstep didn't speak as they walked further away from camp. His tail dragged and his head hung low. His father's death was very hard on him.

Ivypool sighed again, for about the millionth time that day. Nothing was going right and she was so confused about her feelings. She felt so badly for Toadstep. The tom had tried to hide that fact that he was crushed, but you could see it just by the way he walked. She had invited him out on a hunt in an attempt to get his mind off of things.

"So, where would you like to look for prey?" she asked casually. Toadstep shrugged wordlessly. Ivypool's forehead creased in frustration. And then she sighed again. "Well, then, how about we hunt past the old Twoleg den? Last time I was there, I thought I found a mouse nest, but I didn't have the chance to check it out at all. How does that sound?"

"Great," Toadstep mumbled half-heartedly, his eyes not leaving the ground.

Unable to respond to Toadstep's feeble reply, Ivypool padded in silence. The crunch of the snow beneath their paws was the only sound rupturing the quiet. When the small, collapsing Twoleg den came into view, Ivypool picked up the pace, eager for a chance to fill some stomachs.

"This is the place!" she told Toadstep, whom she guessed wasn't really listening. "I'm sure we'll find something," she added in a quieter tone, more to herself than to her companion.

As she came to the little clearing beyond the den, she immediately began sniffing around for any trace of mice. She found nothing. Desperate not to go back to camp empty-pawed, she dug around vigorously, spraying up snow in waves around her. She came upon a tiny, empty burrow, that held a very faint smell of prey. The delicious scent was so very tiny, but as it wafted up from the hole where it had been contained, Ivypool's mouth filled with saliva, and she was so hungry, she was tempted to take a bite of the snow.

Ivypool sighed, deeply disappointed. She stepped away from the little clearing that had once been the home of the mice she had scented before. But they must have either moved to a better burrow, or been eaten by something else.

"Well," Ivypool said glumly, wincing as her paws began to sting from the cold. "I guess we had better look somewhere else." Toadstep grunted in what she assumed was agreement.

As they trudged away, side by side, a random memory struck Ivypool. It was where she had overheard Jayfeather and Leafpool discussing the lack of Catmint in the territory, and then she remembered also that Jayfeather had been growing Catmint in the garden of the abandoned Twoleg den.

Well, there's probably none there now, Ivypool thought, hanging her head low and inspecting the forest floor. If there was, it would have already been found.

Even though she knew this, she stopped, and turned back to look at the den. Toadstep was conscious enough to notice that she had halted, and slowed in his steps. "What is it?" called to her.

Ivypool did not answer, sunken in thought. Her gaze moved further up, to see the angled roofs of the occupied Twoleg dens piercing the blue of the sky, in the Twolegplace looming in the distance.

Looking at them absentmindedly, she abruptly recalled something, and snapped her body around in astonishment, ashamed of her own blindness. "Great StarClan, I can't believe I didn't think of this before!"

"What? What did you think of?" Toadstep demanded, utter bewilderment clear on his face.

"No time to explain. Follow me!" Ivypool replied as she raced forward towards her destination. She heard Toadstep pounding after her, struggling to keep up with her lightning-fast pace.

Ivypool whipped through the territory, paying no attention to the thorns tearing at her pelt as she whisked past them. In a matter of seconds, she left the territory behind her, venturing forth into the neutral, less bountiful territory that allowed a distance between the beginning of the Twolegplace, and the end of the clans' land.

Soon, the fencing came into few. The house directly in front of them had a fence made from the material of trees, sliced into slender, flat platforms tucked into the ground vertically. They were colored white, and placed firmly together to create a full-length, impenetrable barrier. Unless you were a cat, who could simply leap atop the fence, and then down into the other side.

Ivypool did just that. It was a very high fence, being over five tail-lengths, but she bunched the muscles in her legs and lunged upward, landing gracefully upon the narrow top of the fence. Toadstep did not have such an easy time. He jumped about three-quarters of the way up, apparently overestimating the power in his leaps, and then clawed his way up the rest of the length.

"Are you mouse-brained? Why did you rush away so fast back there? And what are we doing here?" Toadstep demanded, furrowing his forehead and biting his lip angrily.

Ivypool ignored his questions, but simply said quietly, "Look!" She gestured with her tail, pointing out a large clump of Catmint planted in the garden just a fox-length away from the two cats.

Comprehension flashed in Toadstep's amber eyes, followed by a glorious spark of adoration. "Catmint! Ivypool, you're brilliant! How did you know the Catmint would be here?" he asked, lowering his tone to avoid arousing the residents of the den beyond the garden.

Ivypool's whole body was warmed by Toadstep's words of praise, and she was suddenly desperate to feel him, have him near her, make him hers. But she shooed the hungry emotions away.

"A while back, I heard Jayfeather and Leafpool discussing that herbs sometimes grew in Twoleg gardens, and one of the plants they mentioned was Catmint! Sure enough, it's here!" Ivypool explained, feeling immensely pleased with herself.

"Let's go down and get as much as we can!" Toadstep suggested, leaping down into the Twoleg's yard. Ivypool lighted down beside him, and immediately began uprooting stalks from the catmint.

The plant was in pitiful condition; a lot of the leaves were withered from the cold, but there was enough that Ivypool was sure that the medicine cats could at least cure all the cats that were currently sick. Or at least, she hoped that there was enough.

Though the Catmint wasn't very healthy, it still carried the almost irresistible scent that made Ivypool's empty stomach growl madly. It was nearly impossible to resist the urge to swallow the herb then and there.

Once all the Catmint was plucked up, Ivypool and Toadstep began trying to shovel as much into their mouths as would fit. But before they could finish, warm yellow light flooded into the yard as the door opened. Out sprung a half-grown, plump little kittypet. When she spotted the two scrawny strays in her backyard, her fuzzy black-and-white pelt stuck out in all directions.

"Pl-please don't hur-hurt me...!" she stuttered in fright. She noticed their mouths filled with leaves from her housefolk's garden. "Why ar-are you steali-ling the catnip-ip?"

Ivypool assumed that by 'catnip', the she-cat meant Catmint. She hesitated for a second, and then placed the Catmint that had been in her mouth back onto the ground. She took a step toward the kittypet, who in response darted away, unsheathing her claws defensively. "I-I'll fight you!" she hissed, her face betraying her absolute terror.

Ivypool's uncertain expression softened, and she cracked a smile. "Don't worry, we won't hurt you," she said in a soft, soothing tone. "My name is Ivypool, and I live in the forest. Some cats in my family are really sick, and this plant will help them get better. You wouldn't mind if we took some, would you?"

The kit's eyes widened at her friendliness, and she cautiously eased her tensed body, and sheathed her claws. "Um, why don't your sick friends go to the vet?" she asked, as if it was silly that any other solution would make sense.

Ivypool had know idea what vet was, but she answered as best as she could. "I don't know what vet is, but I know that Catmint is the only cure for the illness," she smiled warmly at the kittypet, who seemed satisfied with this answer.

"Oh, okay. Well, tell your family that I hope they get well soon!" she said cheerfully, flicking her tail dismissively.

The way every part of her body language portrayed a welcome, happy feeling made Ivypool's spirits soar higher than they had in seasons. The last few moons had been wrought with nothing more than pain, sorrow, and confusion. This naïve little kittypet had a life that was never questioned, threatened, or interrupted by dramatic, unexpected events. For a second, Ivypool envied her.

No, I wouldn't want to live like that at all, she corrected herself. I'm happy with my life where it is.

The question was, was she happy with where her life was going? Away from the clans, and everything else familiar? Would she be happy that way?

She looked back at Toadstep, who was still eying her with that chilling look of endearment. If it was this hard to think about leaving him forever, perhaps she was meant to stay with him. Toadstep had his faults. He was overprotective at times, and he wasn't very witty or charming. But Tigerheart had faults, too! He was intensely melodramatic, and had a flaming temper that she feared.

Then again, with Toadstep, his passion was true and unconditional, and he made sure to let her know that he appreciated her. Tigerheart forced her to guess at times, but he always had something to say or a surprise burst of affection to create a new explosion in her heart.

Whose good side was better, or whose bad side was worse?

Ivypool realized that she was daydreaming here in the backyard of a Twoleg's den when sick cats back at camp's lives depended on receiving this Catmint.

"Um, thanks!" she murmured to their new kittypet friend, turning back toward their task. She scooped up so much Catmint in her mouth that she thought her jaws might snap, and carried more still tucked between her chin and her chest. Toadstep carried just as much, if not more. They had a difficult time getting back over the fence with their new load, but managed pretty well.

By the time they arrived back at camp, both Ivypool and Toadstep were heaving out their breaths, and nearing collapsing on their paws. At the second they entered the stone hollow, Leafpool recognized the scent of Catmint.

She skidded out of the medicine at impossible speed, nearly knocking them over. "You found Catmint?! Dear StarClan, where on earth did you find it? Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she meowed so quickly that it was hard to understand her. Ivypool and Toadstep stared at her mutely, dazed by her rapid reaction and almost drowned in words of gratitude.

It took a few seconds for Ivypool to regain her voice. "We found it in a Twoleg garden. We explained to the kittypet living there that it would help some sick cats get well," she told the medicine cat, who scowled.

"Why didn't I think of that? But it was an amazing idea! Thank you so, so, so much!" She and Jayfeather gathered up the bundles of Catmint and bounded back to their patients, their steps light with hope.

Ivypool and Toadstep were offered the first pick of fresh-kill, which of course, they refused. No use stealing what little nourishment their was from queens and elders, who actually needed it.

"I don't want to do anything except curl up in my nest and sleep for the next three moons," Toadstep mewed sleepily, his jaws parting into a wide yawn. He wrapped his tail around Ivypool's slender shoulders, and led her daintily into the warriors' den, where they lay down, their bodies woven together, each relishing in the others warmth. Ivypool pressed her muzzle affectionately into the dark fur on his chest, and he rested his chin on her forehead.

I would rather be here with Toadstep than anywhere else in the world, Ivypool realized, heat seeping into her limbs. Pure love ran through her veins, and she wanted nothing else but to remain here, frozen in this precious moment forever.

She had never been truly meant to be with Tigerheart. She had fallen out of love as quickly as she had fallen in love. It had been a lustful assumption, not an honest emotion. A mistake.

She had told Tigerheart that she loved him, and would always love him. She had promised that she would leave the clans with him. It was their relationship that meant the most to her, she had said. But she had lied. Perhaps she had not known that she was lying before, but now she did know. She knew that she belonged here, with Toadstep, in ThunderClan.

It was here, with him, that she wanted to train apprentices and raise their kits. It was here, with him, that she wanted to grow to a ripe old age and die as an elder telling stories to young ones. And it was here, with him, that she wanted to spend eternity in StarClan.

If only there was a way that she could turn back time and undo her mistakes. Then she and Tigerheart would never have fallen in love, caused a terrible rivalry between ThunderClan and ShadowClan, or made those horrid plans to abandon their homes. But there was no way to turn back time, she knew.

The only thing left for her to do, was to tell Tigerheart these things, and make things right in her world.

Three bodies lay in the center of the clearing, bathed in the rising moon's ghostly light; Spiderleg, Brackenfur, and Snowkit, all victims of winter's deadly embrace.

A few cats had already began to aline in a circle around the dead for the vigil. Among them was Toadstep, his teary eyes reflecting the dim light hauntingly. Ivypool ached to be there to comfort him in this time when he needed her most, but she had to talk to Tigerheart as soon as possible.

As the clearing filled with more and more cats, Ivypool slipped away and sneaked through the undergrowth of the forest, cloaked in darkness. When she came upon the border, Tigerheart had already arrived. He looked painfully handsome in an almost demonic way. His eyes held a vividness only brought out by the light of the yellow moon, when many of the stars were veiled by dark clouds, like tonight.

"Ivypool!" he called in an urgent whisper. "I need to tell you something! It's really important! ShadowClan-"

"Wait, Tigerheart," Ivypool cut him off, her voice sounding more confident than she actually was. She swallowed nervously, and then continued. "We need to talk. I've been thinking hard about us running away..." She trailed off as she looked into his amber eyes, which were swimming with concern and curiosity.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "And I've made the decision that..." She could hardly continue. Her heart was racing. She had to shake her head again vigorously, and stare directly into his eyes in order to concentrate. "I've made the decision that I don't want to go! And I think that we should put a stop to our love. It's not right."

Tigerheart's eyes flashed with rage, but also deep, deep pain. "But-!" he started, and then stopped. He looked down at the ground, closing his eyes. A low growl echoed in his throat. "You're just like Dovewing," he murmured.

Ivypool 's breath caught in her throat, stung. "What?" she said softly, her boldness waning.

Tigerheart glared at her with such fury that Ivypool wanted to shrink to the size of a walnut and scurry away. "No, I take that back. You're worse than Dovewing!" he snarled, taking a step forward. Ivypool jumped back in fright, her ears pinned back against her head. "You promised me that you wouldn't leave me, and then you waited until the moment you had to make a hard sacrifice, and then you rip out my heart!"

His voice became louder, and he kept advancing forward toward Ivypool, who backed away, terrified. "You promised that you would be different! You promised that you loved me! You promised that you would think about us and not just you! You selfish, fox-hearted liar!" Ivypool's rump backed up into a tree. Tigerheart had her pinned, nowhere to run. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" he screeched, his face flaming with hate.

Ivypool cringed, pressing her back against the tree. Tears were beginning to stream down her cheeks. "I'm sorry!" she cried. "I'm sorry I lied!"

Tigerheart stepped back, guilt hinting in his expression, but still angry beyond forgiveness. "I'm not going to hurt you, Ivypool," he whispered, not meeting her eyes. "I love you," he mumbled, barely audible.

Ivypool's mouth went dry, and she let out a grasp, taken aback. She took a few stepps further away from him, past the tree, and then rushed away as fast as she could, driven mad by fear and regret. As she ran, she cried. The sounds of her sorrow flew through the night alongside her racing feet.

She tripped on a root, somewhere along the way, and went flying into a clump of briars. She lay there, stunned, for a few seconds, probably looking like a complete mouse-brain, her cheeks soaked with tears and blood trickling from her scratches. She continued to moan and weep for a few more minutes, until her sobs receded into dynamic, whining breaths that racked through her body.

"I wish I had never fallen in love!" she shouted to the sky, not caring if someone heard her. If she had never fallen in love with Tigerheart, Toadstep, or anyone, than her life would probably be going on as normal right now.

Whatever Tigerheart had wanted to tell her before, she didn't care! She didn't care about anything!